40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[sarafina75]

Thank you Vonn. Wow, I am so sorry to hear about the donor eggs, I also hate to think of how that came up in the first place. I hope you are able to find a suitable donor for your next cycle.

 

[Jean40]

I haven't gotten my biopsy results from the D&C part of my hysteroscopy, I know the doc who was looking at it wanted more levels (lab speak, sorry, lol). I talked to my GYN this afternoon & while she could see the fibroid sticking out just a little, what she was more concerned about is that I have some scarring inside my uterus, possibly due to my miscarriage end of last year. I also have a stenotic os, which no one told me before. I've never had issues with 2/3 of the REs doing IUIs, but my official RE DID have issues with getting in there. So, now when I go for my follow up in a few weeks, I'll have another saline ultrasound and see what's going on.

 

[sarafina75]

After a very late start to my cycle, no thanks to Clomid, I had my ultrasound today. Fortunately no cysts this month so back on the Menopur & IUI set for the 16th. I am happy to be back on the Menopur because my side-effects were minimal on it during the last round. This last cycle of Clomid on the other hand was crappy!!! Way too many bad side-effects including insomnia, nightmares, crazy mood swings, hot flashes and honestly the worst cramps at the start of my late period than I've had in over 20 years when I went through treatment for endometriosis, not to mention the period coming almost a week late and unusually heavy! But the Menopur injections, nothing. This is our last month before they start prepping my cycle for IVF (egg retrieval in August) so we are working hard at this one! Is anyone else doing IVF this Summer? We have opted for genetic testing on the embryos prior to transfer, which takes two months, so even though retrieval is in August, transfer isn't until October. A 2mw instead of 2ww is going to be brutal. But still trying to stay positive about this month so hopefully we won't have to go down that road

 

[Vonn]

Good luck, Jean. It's always good to know what's going on in there.

Sarafina--I much preferred menopur over clomid, too. Nasty stuff, that clomid. Hated it. Glad you get to move forward with a summer IVF retrieval. I thinks it's very smart to do pgs/pgd at this stage in the game, even if it pushes transfer back. I hope to be doing DE IVF this summer at some point, but the way everything dang thing gets so drawn out, I don't know what to think in terms of timing.

AFM--I am feeling better, day by day after the cancelled donor cycle. Ready to get back to looking for a new donor. I'm going to ask some questions about options for genetic testing, that's got me spooked a little. It sounds like some clinics do it, others don't. Just another thing that costs money. I look forward to inching back closer to making this happen. Baby steps...actually, pre-baby steps!

 

[sarafina75]

We are going to use this first IVF cycle to determine if we need to use donor eggs. We will have them test as many day 5 blastocysts as develop to see if any of them are viable or if there are chromosome anomalies. If none of them are able to be transferred we will have to seriously consider moving straight to an egg donor instead of spending more money on another retrieval. For now, we are just focusing on this cycle and the IUI which will likely be scheduled for Monday. I am starting to feel stressed about missing next cycle because we will be travelling on vacation. We have been so consumed with this process that I know ultimately it is good to take a brief break for a mental health refresh but using my own eggs, it just feels like every month is a slide down the statistic line. It's also stressful to think that I will be in the 2ww during our trip so I have had to schedule some fun activities that we wanted to do, so as not to risk a threat to implantation. It would stink to avoid the hot tub and great sushi only to have a BFN when we get home. I know that may sound petty with everything we are going through but that is something that I think about.

Vonn - As for donors, I used California Cryobank for a sperm donor and they were an amazing organization with fabulous policies regarding genetics, health, screening, acceptance of donors, etc. I am Jewish and am a Tay-Sachs carrier (scary) so it was incredibly important to me to have an agency that really took that seriously. I did tons of research before settling on them. I know they don't have a huge list of egg donors to choose from (I think they have less than 30 last I checked) but for what it is worth, I really loved working with them. I worked with their genetic counselors and other staff. Plus they have audio interviews, creative essays, exceptionally thorough family histories, etc. on the donors, so if you haven't checked them out, it's worth giving them a look. Good luck!!!

 

[sarafina75]

Well we had our IUI today and unfortunately, the numbers didn't look good. Even with the Menopur injectables (150mg) I only had one mature follicle at my ultrasound on Friday (there was one more that was getting there but it was only 14mm at the time so it probably wasn't mature enough). Then, today when they came in for the procedure, they informed us that after the sperm wash, there were <1M motile sperm (950K), which pretty much tells me that we need to be hoping for a mini-miracle for it to take this cycle. The June cycle will be a no-go since we will be on vacation during the start of my cycle and unable to do the ultrasounds they require to prescribe us any fertility drugs. And July's cycle is a prep for the August egg retrieval for IVF #1, I'm trying not to get ahead of things by thinking too far out, everyone says to take it one cycle at a time but since you all are in the same boat, I'm sure you know that's practically impossible to do and I really don't know why I continue to look at statistics because they are just depressing. Thanks for listening. And good baby karma sent to all of you.

 

[terripeachy]

Well, after this tww, you can enjoy your summer! Think about the positives, and since you have a short break, enjoy time with your DH and enjoy all the non-baby things you can do until it's time to start up again. You'll get there!

 

[fififa]

Vonn- I am sorry yr cycle has been cancelled. I wish you all the best with yr treatment.
My sister has gone ivf with de and has a healthy baby now. She did tons of research: chating boards, forums, articles reading, clinics' websites, visiting services dedicated to ed as eggdonationfriends, etc. Finally when she picked a few clinics, she mailed to eggdonation to check out clinics, but they recommend her a fertility clinic that offers the best treatment option for women in her age group. And she was happy and got pregnant on her first try.

sarafina75- I keep my fingers crossed for positive outcome

 

[futurebbmoma]

Haven't been able to get excited about ttc since early loss in january after frozen transfer. Then had a surprise positive end of aoril. Was so amazed, excited... you name it. We managed to do this on our own? Then 4 weeks of suckiness. Another loss this time requiring a d&c.

A little lost now having to figure out what to expect next. Will try to go back and catch up on where everyone is. Onwards and upwards!

Hello Ladies... Pardon me for taking so long to post again... I may have said onwards and upwards but In reality I wasn't so optimistic.

After the D&C last year the pathology came back with highly abnormal cervical cells. A LEEP procedure was scheduled for July. I was grateful that the pre-cancerous cells were caught but was really bummed about what it meant for TTC/pregnancy.

After a six month check up they found more abnormal cells but will wait to see if they clear or get to the stage they have to be removed. Meanwhile they were checked for which strain of HPV and they are a kind that does NOT progress to cancer. WHEW! Big load off my mind.

AND instead of Dr. Google scaring me about my chances to conceive/maintain a pregnancy, she said the ONLY repercussion from having part of my cervix removed would be that IF it would start to soften too early I would need to be stitched closed. Double WHEW!

I have lurked off and on but was really taking a break from it all. I didn't even pay attention to when my period was supposed to arrive. I didn't POAS till May 27th... I seriously just about fell on the floor when I looked back at it and there was a nice dark line!

First beta was 7000 for heavens sake and I was 5+1 weeks. I've been hesitant to post as I don't want to jinx things. I know there is a long way to go and I am cognizant that my age, weight, and previous losses don't put me out of the "anxious" phase yet.

It was so exciting to read about the girls who have their little bambinos already and I think there are a couple who are just about here! I hope to see some check-ins from others. We are a long suffering group. Big hugs to each of you!

 

[Vonn]

Future--What a story! Congrats to you on the surprise BFP! Thanks for coming on and sharing the news. That's terrific that you were able to get pregnant without assistance. How far along are you now? Scans, heartbeats, etc? How are you feeling, any nausea or other symptoms?

Anyone else have anything going on?

AFM--We have now had 2 donors fall through due to testing positive as a carrier for some genetic disease (don't know which ones). We have selected a third one and will find out next week if she wants to cycle again. If she does, we will do the genetic screening on her. Two weeks after that, we will know if we can start. We were originally supposed to do a transfer mid-May, now it looks like late Aug or early Sept will be the earliest. The waiting is torture...steadily moving towards my 42nd birthday. The only good thing is that the longer I have, the healthier I can get. Still trying to get the thyroid, candida, and all the ensuing deficiencies sorted out. Making progress, so that's good. The rashes have gone away, as has the out of control, all-over itchiness.

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi Ladies. Can I join? I'm 43. DH is also 43. We've been married almost 3 years and have been trying for #1 since 2013. Neither of us have any kids. We've had 4 pregnancies and 4 losses. We are both healthy with no fertility issues aside from we both have mild MTHFR for which I'm treated. The assumption is my eggs are just too old. &#128533;
Looking for a support group who understands. Wishing you all the best. &#10084;&#65039;

 

[Vonn]

Welcome, Sophie! Sorry to hear of all your losses. How have you gotten pregnant? Naturally or with assistance? If you do IVF you could have the embryos tested to check for chromosomal issues. I assume you've had a pretty thorough immune check if mthfr issue was found.


Ladies, I am going to lose my mind. I just found out the donor we wanted (3rd choice, mind you...) has decided she doesn't want to cycle again. I am just pissed. Excuse the language.
WTF!!! WFT!!! WTF!!! WTF!!!

I called DH to tell him and we chatted for a couple minutes. Then he was like, "I just need to process this a little. I'll call you later, okay?" Poor guy, he doesn't even know what to do any more. I am quickly losing confidence in this clinic. But everywhere else is more money and (generally) longer waits. I don't know how much more of this I can take. We haven't even gotten to try.

 

[Sophie2015]

Vonn I am so sorry to read of all your set backs. I cannot imagine how frustrating and disappointing that must be. Have you tried an egg bank. I have the name of one you could look into if you want it.

My first 2 pregnancies were natural and happened quickly. I was 41. But with both we lost the heartbeat a week after initially finding one. Growth was also a week delayed with both. My body refused to mc though. I had s d&c with the first 2 weeks after losing the HB. I took Cytotec to induce a mc 5 weeks after losing the HB with the second baby. After the 2nd loss we couldn't get pregnant and saw an RE. We are both healthy and aren't carriers of anything genetic. I have the mildest form of MTHFR and take Metanx. My 3rd pregnancy was last year. I was 42. It was my first Femara/IUI cycle. I had 2 failed Clomid/IUI cycles prior. We lost that baby at 15 weeks. She was a girl and had T21. My 4th pregnancy was last month. I'm now 43. It was my first ever chemical pregnancy and was my first Follistim/IUI cycle. I over responded and my RE panicked and triggered me with my largest follicle at 16. I had 6 possible follicles ranging 14-16. But my E2 was over 2200.
I've just completed my 2nd Follistim cycle. I over responded again despite a lower Follistim dose. My E2 stayed lower this time though so we didn't trigger as early. I had 7 follies at time of trigger. 18,16,15,15,14,12,12. They appear to be growing 2mm a day so hoping at least 5 of them give us a mature egg. IUI is later today.
We have discussed ivf with pgd but really can't afford it. And IUIs work for us. Of course I always mc. I won't give up hope though. I just know I have one good egg in there.
Thank you for listening. Infertility is so hard. Most people truly don't understand.

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi ladies. Feeling blue today. How is everyone?

 

[Vonn]

Hi, Sophie. I'm also feeling down & completely sorry for myself today. Why are you blue? Did you have your IUI?

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi Vonn. My IUI was Friday July 1st. Not sure why I'm down other than usually around the beginning of week 2 of the tww I've convinced myself I'm just too old. &#128533;

 

[Sophie2015]

Vonn why do you think you're down today?

 

[Vonn]

It's interesting the patterns that emerge once you've been at it awhile. Hopefully, you can convince yourself it's the hormones talking and keep your head up. You are not too old!

I'm just feeling stuck. Frustrated with the clinic we are currently using, but really not wanting to spend the time and energy figuring out where to go next. We can afford this place, but not most others, though it's not helpful if we can never get a donor to work out. We've asked about another one. If she's interested in cycling again I'm sure I'll feel more hopeful.

 

[Sophie2015]

Vonn I am so sorry. I can't imagine having to depend on someone else for an ivf. We already have so little control. It has to add to an already helpless feeling. When will you know if your donor will cycle again?

 

[Jean40]

Vonn, that sucks! I am using eggs from the frozen donor bank there and it seems a bit more straightforward. I will let you know what I think of this clinic as I am going through this process. I will say that I have had problems getting hold of someone & left messages by phone and by portal and they didn't get back to me for 3 days (something about vacations, so then I was given 2 other nurses names & phone numbers). Just this morning, I am starting on the Lupron and baby aspirin (plus something else for my autoimmune inflammation that I started 2.5 weeks ago). They don't want me to do a BCP/Lupron cycle, so this is going to take a week or two longer to get to FET. I go there on July 18 for bloodwork & ultrasound. Hoping for a transfer sometime end of first week of August. I still don't have the rest of my medication protocol for after July 18. I need to contact them again to figure out more. I've been trying to figure out when I need off work since we are seriously screwed with someone out on FML and another quitting plus I have to try to train a new part time person before I have the FET. I was hoping this time around wouldn't be so stressful.