40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Vonn]

Ooh, interesting, Jean! At one point I know you were thinking donor embryo, but I guess you made the switch to donor eggs. What are you taking for inflammation? Why aren't you doing Bcp/lupron cycle? I'd love to avoid both of those.

 

[hoping16]

First forum I've ever joined as I really need the support and it's nice to see one for women like me. I'm so depressed. Got married last year at age 44 but we've been trying for 2-3 years now. No other kids. I didn't meet the right person early enough and feel like now I'm being punished for it. All my tests (and my DH) show that we/I'm in good shape for having a baby (for my age) and since I'm now 45 we know that isn't great. I was really hopeful this month after doing a cycle of clomid and menopur. I felt myself ovulating on cd15 or cd16 and exactly 6-9 days later started having mold cramps and then the day before AF was due I had very light brown occasional spotting when I used the bathroom for about 24 hours and that was it. I also had nausea headaches and all the other symptoms you read about. Since no other flow came (and I've never been late by even a day my entire life) I felt so hopeful. I waited four days after AF was due to take HPT and it was a BFN. I was sad but cautiously hopeful after reading all the false negative stories. Then this morning (Cd35) and 7 days late I woke up with more severe cramps and AF full flow. I'm so heartbroken and discouraged. I don't get it. Nobody ever said my cycle could be late from the medications and I have never ever been late and don't know what that light brown 24hr spotting was last week when AF was due (and which I assumed and hoped was implantation bleeding). I'm so discouraged and beating myself up for starting late in life but I didn't meet my love until after my 30s I feel there's no hope and don't know how I'll be able to move on without feeling this way for the rest of my life. I'm trying to accept it but feel so void inside

 

[Sophie2015]

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

 

[Jean40]

They don't want me to do BCP since I have cardiac history, so instead, I had AF, wait 3 weeks, then start Lupron. Transfer estimated to be August 5. For my autoimmune disease and inflammation, I am taking a baby aspirin, low dose naltrexone (they are doing studies on adults & children with Crohn's disease using this and they are very promising, they also know it works with other autoimmune diseases), prograf (anti-rejection drug normally used for organ transplants), prednisone, and IVIG infusions every couple weeks (haven't started that yet, not sure when I do). I wanted to be tested for MTHFR, but the insurance wouldn't pay, so just in case, I am taking methyl folate instead of anything with folic acid, it's not really any more expensive (I buy Jarrow brand off Amazon). I am also trying to NOT eat foods that I know cause me bloating or inflammation. I have been taking the low dose naltrexone for a couple weeks now and I DO notice a difference already, besides the side effect of better sleep and more vivid dreams.

 

[Sophie2015]

Jean- I have a question. I have the mild version of MTHFR. I've been on Metanx (methyl folate) for over a year. But I also take a prenatal with folic acid. I've often wondered if I should try to find a prenatal without folic acid (does this exist?) Do you take a standard prenatal? Thoughts? Thanks so much!!

 

[Sophie2015]

Jean- and good luck and baby dust!!!!!

 

[deedee2015]

I hope this thread stays alive! I may have posted before but I'm 40 and never ever ever been pregnant. Like you, hoping, I didn't meet the LOML until I was almost 40 and we started trying right way to no avail. Now things are going downhill, last summer my AMH was 1.6, a year later it's 0.66! I'm taking DHEA and CoQ10 to try to help, and I'm on BCP for the moment. I'm going to try IUI for the first time, in about a month. I have tried clomid, no dice. I wish us ALL luck!

 

[hoping16]

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flow

 

[Sophie2015]

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flow

I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken.
I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?

 

[Jean40]

No, I don't take any other B vitamins or a prenatal. I take a bunch of separate vitamins due to my autoimmune disease causing malnutrition. I just take the methyl folate. I will start taking 2 per day instead of 1 per day once I get closer to FET. I have no idea about a prenatal with methyl folate, I just found the plain methyl folate pills and they aren't that expensive.

My due date from FET #1 is 2 weeks from today. It sucks big time to know I won't even get to do FET #2 until 2 weeks after that. My birthday is 2 weeks after that and I turn 44. Ugh!

I spent all the money I had on FET #1 (and still have a few thousand on the credit card from it not paid off). FET #2 is mostly going to be on the credit card. I am working on getting a side business up and running to hopefully bring in extra to pay that off. I also belong to a facebook group for heart moms and they said I can put a GoFundMe page on there, so I am probably going to do that. Every dollar helps! I also just got a small raise (almost $1 per hour) at my main job starting this week. If my supervisor can't come back from another surgery (saw him today, just coming in to eat lunch with us made him sick, longest trip he's taken since surgery), then I will be up for his job, which will be a bit more money than I currently make. Our health insurance is terrible and only covers diagnostic stuff (and only some of the meds, I still have some left over from FET #1). I have already spent most of my HSA getting ready for FET#2. I had to have day surgery at the hospital and do a hysteroscopy and D&C, so that wasn't very cheep. I also had to get a complete cardiac workup again and that was the expensive part, about $2500 (I did meet my deductible). Last year, I met my out of pocket max by April, but not yet this year.

 

[Sophie2015]

How's everyone doing? Feeling down here today. 8dpo and on P4. Breasts have been super swollen and sore but today that has lessened I think so I'm guessing that probably means I'm not pregnant. 😪

 

[Vonn]

Jean--I'd love to see a success story from CNY, so please keep me posted on how things are going for you!!

Hoping16--sounds like a CP to me also. A positive could have shown up one day and not the next, they can fade very quickly from what I understand. Meds can also mimic symptoms & breakthrough bleeding can be caused by low progesterone. You never know how medication hormones will interact with our bodies' natural hormones, so it really is impossible to know for sure what was going on. It is INCREDIBLY stressful & this forum has been a saving grace for me. Do whatever you can to help you cope.

Dee--will you be doing medication with your IUI? I'd do both together, if possible as it will increase your chances.

Sophie--anything else happening? Pregnant ladies report many symptoms, no symptoms, symptoms coming and going, different symptoms from one pg to another....you just never know! When will you test?

AFM--just waiting to hear back if the donor we are interested in is going to cycle again. Trying to cheer my sister on to the next step she needs to do for her infertility. She did 6 IUIs with Femara at her ObGyn's (that is all they will do). Early on I had suggested a bunch of tests I thought she should have done, but the Ob brushed them off and told my sister that she seems healthy and can't figure out why she's not getting pg. This has made my sister feel like an RE won't be able to help her anymore than her Ob could, which is totally wrong. I'm so annoyed, but am trying not to be the bossy, overbearing older sister (which I can totally tend to do). I want her to move on already and get a Dr that really knows infertility. She shouldn't have stuck with this Ob for so long and now she's reluctant to move on and I just want to tell her that she didn't do herself any favors by doing the same exact thing 6 times & not insisting on basic tests. The Dr didn't even check her AMH, do a baseline ultrasounds to check ovarian reserve, test prolactin or vitamin D....really standard checks... I am getting all worked up! I need to chill out about her situation, but I want to fix it.

 

[hoping16]

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flow

I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken.
I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?

Sorry have been offline. I'm still having a heavy period day 4 (normally it's 3 days and done) and have had more cramping than usual. Again, this may be TMI but I've also had a lot of bloody"flesh" coming out of me this month which is not the norm. One piece was size of a ping pong ball in one whole piece, so not sure if it's just extra uterine lining due to the medications or again if it was something else. I did 5 days of clomid and menopur injections but when I went to see my RE on CD11 they said the medications weren't working as my follicles were not doing anything so they stopped the cycle and I just continued my cycle like normal still trying on our own (versus IUI which we had hoped to do). I talked to my RE and he insists that it's just a normal period but like I said I've never been late and it was a very heavy period as described above so it was not a normal period for me at all. The HPT always showed negative so who knows, but some posts say false negatives are common. It doesn't matter at this point but just curious since I've never been pregnant before and would be nice to know if there was even a slight chance that something was starting to happen. I feel like at 45yo it's a major long shot and it's so depressing esp when everything I read says no woman over age 45 has ever been pregnant by her own eggs. I don't want donor eggs so I guess I'm just depressed and trying to accept the inevitable. Sucks because yes I could have gone out when I was younger and been knocked up by anybody or my ex and it would have been a disaster but hey I would be a mom and now I finally found the guy for me and can't get pregnant due to my age. Sucks.

 

[Sophie2015]

Jean--I'd love to see a success story from CNY, so please keep me posted on how things are going for you!!

Hoping16--sounds like a CP to me also. A positive could have shown up one day and not the next, they can fade very quickly from what I understand. Meds can also mimic symptoms & breakthrough bleeding can be caused by low progesterone. You never know how medication hormones will interact with our bodies' natural hormones, so it really is impossible to know for sure what was going on. It is INCREDIBLY stressful & this forum has been a saving grace for me. Do whatever you can to help you cope.

Dee--will you be doing medication with your IUI? I'd do both together, if possible as it will increase your chances.

Sophie--anything else happening? Pregnant ladies report many symptoms, no symptoms, symptoms coming and going, different symptoms from one pg to another....you just never know! When will you test?

AFM--just waiting to hear back if the donor we are interested in is going to cycle again. Trying to cheer my sister on to the next step she needs to do for her infertility. She did 6 IUIs with Femara at her ObGyn's (that is all they will do). Early on I had suggested a bunch of tests I thought she should have done, but the Ob brushed them off and told my sister that she seems healthy and can't figure out why she's not getting pg. This has made my sister feel like an RE won't be able to help her anymore than her Ob could, which is totally wrong. I'm so annoyed, but am trying not to be the bossy, overbearing older sister (which I can totally tend to do). I want her to move on already and get a Dr that really knows infertility. She shouldn't have stuck with this Ob for so long and now she's reluctant to move on and I just want to tell her that she didn't do herself any favors by doing the same exact thing 6 times & not insisting on basic tests. The Dr didn't even check her AMH, do a baseline ultrasounds to check ovarian reserve, test prolactin or vitamin D....really standard checks... I am getting all worked up! I need to chill out about her situation, but I want to fix it.

Breasts are back to being sore again. But it's really too early still for symptoms I think. I also have mild heartburn and am STARVING every 3 hours. And this is an odd one but the only time I've felt it I was pregnant- if I'm laying down and I cough or try to get up it feels like something is tearing in my uterus. So who knows. If I was younger I'd be certain I was pregnant. I had 7 follies with my husband's washed count of 137 million. You'd think I'd be pregnant. But it's just not that easy in your 40s. 😕 Today is 9dpo/IUI. My hpt have never been positive before 12dpp so I'll test Wednesday but I'm not hopeful.

 

[Sophie2015]

hoping16- I can relate to you and I'm so sorry. I got married at age 41 and it's been nothing but miscarriages since. I know it's hard as I've been kinda down this week myself but you have to believe it's possible and keep pressing forward. Will you do another medicated cycle? And what you described sounds very similar to my chemical preg last month. So please keep trying!!

I'm new to forums so I hope I'm replying correctly. Thanks for understanding and I'm sorry for your struggles too. Don't know if we will try again as it's so expensive and RE thinks I need to double up the dose so double the cost. I wish insurance covered something but nope. I just don't know if what I had was anything or not as I had never had spotting and it was textbook implantation bleeding based on the days in my cycle and symptoms but RE said that I was just late or my HPT would have been positive. What do you think? I didn't know the medication would give me preg symptoms and implantation spotting 8 days before heavy flow

I still think it might have been a CP. Most of the time those aren't caught because af shows a few days late and no test was ever taken.
I hope you can try again. The expense is overwhelming. We've been doing IUIs over a year now which were affordable until we added Follistim. That first month I think I spent $2200 just on drugs. Remind what type of medicated cycle you did?

Sorry have been offline. I'm still having a heavy period day 4 (normally it's 3 days and done) and have had more cramping than usual. Again, this may be TMI but I've also had a lot of bloody"flesh" coming out of me this month which is not the norm. One piece was size of a ping pong ball in one whole piece, so not sure if it's just extra uterine lining due to the medications or again if it was something else. I did 5 days of clomid and menopur injections but when I went to see my RE on CD11 they said the medications weren't working as my follicles were not doing anything so they stopped the cycle and I just continued my cycle like normal still trying on our own (versus IUI which we had hoped to do). I talked to my RE and he insists that it's just a normal period but like I said I've never been late and it was a very heavy period as described above so it was not a normal period for me at all. The HPT always showed negative so who knows, but some posts say false negatives are common. It doesn't matter at this point but just curious since I've never been pregnant before and would be nice to know if there was even a slight chance that something was starting to happen. I feel like at 45yo it's a major long shot and it's so depressing esp when everything I read says no woman over age 45 has ever been pregnant by her own eggs. I don't want donor eggs so I guess I'm just depressed and trying to accept the inevitable. Sucks because yes I could have gone out when I was younger and been knocked up by anybody or my ex and it would have been a disaster but hey I would be a mom and now I finally found the guy for me and can't get pregnant due to my age. Sucks.

All that bleeding and tissue sounds like the drugs beefed up your lining. FSH is great for that. Plus I still think you had a cp. My cp last month I had betas drawn. Got a BFP and my beta was 35. Two days later got a bfn and beta was 7. So cp's are easy to miss.

I feel your frustration about waiting for the right man to have kids with. I was married 11.5 years but did not try for kids because somehow I knew we'd divorce. Remarried when I was 41 and started trying right away. Sometimes I feel like I'm being punished for waiting for the right man to come along.

 

[deedee2015]

I would love to hear some exciting news here soon! FX'ed for that! Sophie, you never know til you know, right? I love the name by the way. I had a dream last year that I had a super curly haired baby named Sophie! (then a few days later I was in a department store and heard someone calling that name, it was the mom of a little girl! Cute...it freaked my BF out cause I had just told him about the dream and he's wanting a boy! lol

Vonn, I haven't had that talk with the RE. I do know I want femara and progesterone post O, but I'm not sure about injectables. I certainly don't mind beefing up the odds but I heard it only increases odds by like 5% for twice the $.

SN: Do you have a journal here? Our stats are very similar. I also have hypothyroid, probably candida, and have had a polyp AND fibroid removed, and I'm 40 with a bunch of BFNs

I'll talk to him about it during my Saline US next week.

BD to everyone!

 

[hoping16]

Sophie2015-I totally agree with your last line. I feel the same way sometimes, but it is what it is I guess. Thanks for your support

I also had a dream that I was in the hospital looking at my baby. It made me hope it was some sort of sign. Then AF came a week later

 

[Sophie2015]

I feel kinda cranky. I'm not usually prone to pms mood swings but have found when I'm pregnant nothing makes me cranky so I feel like this crankiness means the witch is coming. I won't start before next Sunday though. I have a 15 day lp on my own plus now I'm on progesterone.

I agree we need some good news here!! Thank you all for being a support to me. Baby dust!!

 

[Sophie2015]

Well ladies I have a very faint BFP at 10dpo/IUI. But I've been here before so we aren't excited at all. Totally expecting either a cp or my next test to be a bfn. Sad that all my losses keep me from even being hopeful.

 

[Vonn]

Well, we will be excited for you, Sophie! You can't get your rainbow without a bfp! Off to a good start.