40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!
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Vonn
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Sophie--I am so sorry to hear this. Truly heartbreaking. 
I'm sorry if the message was insensitive, I didn't see the new line in the signature. Does your Dr believe in reproductive immune issues? It definitely seems like something is going on, too many losses to seem random. I just know there was a woman on this very thread called Pussycat who had done many ivfs with her own eggs and with donor eggs and had losses and failures. She found a Dr who looked into immune problems and got it figured out and now has twin girls.
Because I have dealt with a thyroid problem for years, I am very sensitive to this topic. You couldn't possibly have a thyroid problem, could you? Even if your lab numbers appear normal, if you have symptoms you could still have a problem. There are lots of other possible causes of recurrent pregnancy loss, though.
You maybe just want to grieve, so sorry if I'm throwing out stuff to look into when that's the last thing you want to do. I wish you the best whether its moving on or continuing the fight. Take care, Sophie!
I'm sorry if the message was insensitive, I didn't see the new line in the signature. Does your Dr believe in reproductive immune issues? It definitely seems like something is going on, too many losses to seem random. I just know there was a woman on this very thread called Pussycat who had done many ivfs with her own eggs and with donor eggs and had losses and failures. She found a Dr who looked into immune problems and got it figured out and now has twin girls.Because I have dealt with a thyroid problem for years, I am very sensitive to this topic. You couldn't possibly have a thyroid problem, could you? Even if your lab numbers appear normal, if you have symptoms you could still have a problem. There are lots of other possible causes of recurrent pregnancy loss, though.
You maybe just want to grieve, so sorry if I'm throwing out stuff to look into when that's the last thing you want to do. I wish you the best whether its moving on or continuing the fight. Take care, Sophie!
Sophie2015
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My RE has checked me for auto immune issues as far as I know. My thyroid looks great. TSH is 1.5 non pregnant. It climbs once pregnant but is still only 2.5 and RE feels it isn't an issue. Also I have zero signs of a thyroid problem. RE thinks my eggs are just poor quality. But goodness 5 losses all due to poor egg quality sure seems unlikely doesn't it?! D&C is Thursday. Hoping to get genetics done so we'll know the cause of this one. Oddly my body loves to be pregnant. I've never had a mc on my own. Only mmc and I always need assistance to pass the baby.
RE wants me to try ivf with pgd despite the fact that we can conceive. He's convinced my eggs are bad and is hoping to find a few good ones with pgd. It's so expensive though. And we're emotionally drained.
RE wants me to try ivf with pgd despite the fact that we can conceive. He's convinced my eggs are bad and is hoping to find a few good ones with pgd. It's so expensive though. And we're emotionally drained.
Well ladies, my beta is only 29 this morning. It should be over 100. This time, I am NOT stopping meds and I am going to see if my high risk OB will do the 6 week ultrasound and repeat betas. I have no other info on my portal but my lab results, no instructions, no other lab order for Thursday. My betas last year went from 24 to 14 to 5 in 6 days, but went back up to 50 a month later, then dropped again. I know I am dehydrated right now, so I'm hoping that's the reason (I read something about that last year, that it could lower your beta).
Vonn
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Sophie--I agree it'd be good to test the remains and get some answers, at least about this pregnancy. Hugs to you.
Jean--I hope the low beta is due to dehydration. That is so dumb that there was no message or next beta instructions...these people can be so daft and insensitive sometimes. How much do we have to pay to get some guidance? Sheesh. I certainly hope they have you do a second beta. Fight for it if you have to. Have you been doing more HPTs?
Well, AF finally showed today. Thank goodness.
Jean--I hope the low beta is due to dehydration. That is so dumb that there was no message or next beta instructions...these people can be so daft and insensitive sometimes. How much do we have to pay to get some guidance? Sheesh. I certainly hope they have you do a second beta. Fight for it if you have to. Have you been doing more HPTs?
Well, AF finally showed today. Thank goodness.
terripeachy
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Sophie- I'm so sorry. Take your time figuring out your next steps. I'm not sure how old you are, but I would definitely consider using DE. It sucks hearing that your eggs are old, but I went the PGD route, paid for meds, cryogenics, etc..and the one embryo that made it was abnormal. So...I'm not sure if it's worth the risk of going through all that to find out 'oh yeah, your eggs are old' but you and your hubs have to make the decision. Anyway...grieve, take your time, and just know that we're here for you.
Jean-Ok..I'm on the dehydration team as well..so when do you go back or can you get another beta someplace closer to home? Have you taken another digital test? I know this is your miracle baby, so c'mon little appleseed. Keep growing!
I'm so sorry. Take your time figuring out your next steps. I'm not sure how old you are, but I would definitely consider using DE. It sucks hearing that your eggs are old, but I went the PGD route, paid for meds, cryogenics, etc..and the one embryo that made it was abnormal. So...I'm not sure if it's worth the risk of going through all that to find out 'oh yeah, your eggs are old' but you and your hubs have to make the decision. Anyway...grieve, take your time, and just know that we're here for you.Jean-Ok..I'm on the dehydration team as well..so when do you go back or can you get another beta someplace closer to home? Have you taken another digital test? I know this is your miracle baby, so c'mon little appleseed. Keep growing!
I still don't have anything on my portal for another beta or instructions. I called the high risk OB and I have to get set up with a regular OB first, but no one is answering their phone. If I can hold it long enough, I'll take another test. I thought my line on the Frer Sunday looked decent. I am going to leave another message on the portal to see what to do next. I know they want numbers doubling in 24-36 hours. I read before that embryos from frozen eggs can develop a little slower, too, so maybe that is it. I'm quite frustrated that no one at the clinic has notified me of anything, but that's the way it's been the whole time.
Sophie2015
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Sophie-
Jean-Ok..I'm on the dehydration team as well..so when do you go back or can you get another beta someplace closer to home? Have you taken another digital test? I know this is your miracle baby, so c'mon little appleseed. Keep growing!
I can't get past feeling like de wouldn't really be my baby. So we've ruled that out completely. Adoption as well. I've made a 14 yr career of taking care of other people's babies but not attaching. I honestly don't think I could ever adopt or use a de without thinking it was someone else's child. My husband totally agrees. So it's either my own eggs or nothing.
I'm 44 next month. My labs are that of a 30 year old (amh, FSH, etc). I have perfect 28 day cycles. My RE is always amazed. Of my 5 losses only 1 was a confirmed trisomy so the rest are assumed to be bad but we don't know for sure. My drugs for ivf are free because I met my drug deductible with my first Follistim cycle in June. I LOVED doing injectibles. The labs, the ultrasounds, titrating the meds. I guess it's the RN in me. So I'm hoping I'll be the freak of nature who enjoys the ivf process. All we know is we have to try. And my RE says due to my labs he's not ready to give up yet. (Side note: he was the ivf dr for a friend of my mom's. She conceived at age 46 using her own eggs) So it ain't over til I quit. I'm still somewhat hopeful but also somewhat prepared to get a puppy 😕😄
Jean - I stay off the boards once I mc but I'm anxiously awaiting more beta results for you. Keeping my fingers crossed. I can't imagine how frustrated you are. I'm frustrated for you!!
Sophie, I hope you don't mind me stalking you on this thread. 
Just wanted to say that there's no guilt or shame in making the decision not to go the de or adoption route. My husband and I made that decision a long time ago for exactly the same reasons. A lot of people might judge and say 'oh, your desire to have a baby is not strong enough, etc, etc' but I don't care, this is such a personal matter, I know how I feel about it and my decision is my decision.
All we can do at this point is don't lose hope and continue to believe in miracles. I truly hope you won't quit trying. A friend of mine, who's also turning 44 in a few months, had her baby 10 months ago at 43. Her first pregnancy just couple months before that ended in a mc at about 10 weeks. She never got her full period back after mc and was afraid she was entering menopause but lo and behold - she got pg and carried a healthy baby full-term. Anything is possible, we just have to believe!
Just wanted to say that there's no guilt or shame in making the decision not to go the de or adoption route. My husband and I made that decision a long time ago for exactly the same reasons. A lot of people might judge and say 'oh, your desire to have a baby is not strong enough, etc, etc' but I don't care, this is such a personal matter, I know how I feel about it and my decision is my decision.
All we can do at this point is don't lose hope and continue to believe in miracles. I truly hope you won't quit trying. A friend of mine, who's also turning 44 in a few months, had her baby 10 months ago at 43. Her first pregnancy just couple months before that ended in a mc at about 10 weeks. She never got her full period back after mc and was afraid she was entering menopause but lo and behold - she got pg and carried a healthy baby full-term. Anything is possible, we just have to believe!
Sophie2015
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Lilchick- I'm glad you found me here. But I was surprised to see you. I guess because I assumed you are young and it never occurred to me you might be in the over 35 forums.
Oh I'm well qualified for the over 35 forums, I'm 38 in a few months. The July testers thread, where we first met, was also in the over 35 forums but I guess you participate in many and it can get confusing.
Sophie2015
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I had no idea the July testers was there!! All this time I thought all you ladies were 20 somethings!!
Vonn
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Jean--were you able to get a hold of someone? Any more tests or blood draws?
Sophie--was your D&C today?
Thinking of both of you!
AFM--bad news for me, I think. I had a saline sonohysterogram today and the dr who did it says there is debris on one side of my uterus and a possible polyp on the other side. She recommends a D&C and then a cycle off after that to heal. Hopefully, the results have now been sent to my IVF clinic, though they close early on Thursdays so I have to wait until tomorrow to find out if they see & recommend the same. I am super disappointed. I cried alone in the exam room, pulled myself together and walked out to see a hugely pregnant woman and her doting husband, and then a cute mom pushing a baby stroller with a cute baby. Just keep piling it on, universe, that's so lovely of you.
Sophie--was your D&C today?
Thinking of both of you!
AFM--bad news for me, I think. I had a saline sonohysterogram today and the dr who did it says there is debris on one side of my uterus and a possible polyp on the other side. She recommends a D&C and then a cycle off after that to heal. Hopefully, the results have now been sent to my IVF clinic, though they close early on Thursdays so I have to wait until tomorrow to find out if they see & recommend the same. I am super disappointed. I cried alone in the exam room, pulled myself together and walked out to see a hugely pregnant woman and her doting husband, and then a cute mom pushing a baby stroller with a cute baby. Just keep piling it on, universe, that's so lovely of you.
terripeachy
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Vonn-Oh no! I thought you had already had all that stuff done before? Are these polyps/debris new? What a kick in the pants...Yes, the universe is horrible sometimes, but I know you are strong enough to get past all this stuff. So now, will you be able to freeze your donor's eggs until you're ready or do you have to go back to the beginning on choosing someone, etc.. You know I love ya, girl.
You know I love ya, girl.
Sophie2015
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Vonn- I'm so disappointed and sad for you. I know all too well the frustration of just wanting to get on with it because every month that goes by feels like a perfectly good yet wasted month.
Jean- angry for you that there's been no follow up!
AFM, I bled out over a pint of blood today. They had to pause the D&C shortly after it started to give me a uterine contractor. Kept me for a longer observation because I was bleeding thru everything every 15 minutes in recovery. Currently taking methergine at home to contract my uterus. I have NEVER bled with any of my mc's. EVER. My first D&C no bleeding. My Cytotec induced "natural" mc also no bleeding. My pregnancy I terminated at 15 weeks still no bleeding. But today....it was bad. Just hoping I heal ok and nothing went wrong. Bleeding is better now and I suspect I'll now do what I normally do which is pass a HUGE clot by next week.
We are going fwd with our very first ivf with pgd once my body is ready. But after every loss I have to heal then with my 1st cycle have another SIS and/or HSG. More time wasted. I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I'll never quit trying.
Jean- angry for you that there's been no follow up!
AFM, I bled out over a pint of blood today. They had to pause the D&C shortly after it started to give me a uterine contractor. Kept me for a longer observation because I was bleeding thru everything every 15 minutes in recovery. Currently taking methergine at home to contract my uterus. I have NEVER bled with any of my mc's. EVER. My first D&C no bleeding. My Cytotec induced "natural" mc also no bleeding. My pregnancy I terminated at 15 weeks still no bleeding. But today....it was bad. Just hoping I heal ok and nothing went wrong. Bleeding is better now and I suspect I'll now do what I normally do which is pass a HUGE clot by next week.
We are going fwd with our very first ivf with pgd once my body is ready. But after every loss I have to heal then with my 1st cycle have another SIS and/or HSG. More time wasted. I'll be 44 in 3 weeks. But I'll never quit trying.
Wow Sophie, that's a decent amount of blood. I hope you heal soon, physically and mentally. It does take a toll on you to go through so much.
Oh no Vonn! I hope they can still get your eggs fertilized and grown out to day5, then you can do an FET later when you are healed up.
As for me, I got my blood drawn at 9am yesterday then had a very long drive to my next destination, but no lab results (which makes sense if they close early on Thursday). I got them this morning, beta is now at 81, so more than doubled! I a m now feeling more little cramps and tugging going on. I am trying to drink more fluids, too. I chugged a large Powerade Zero and 2 liters of water late Wednesday night, which didn't help me sleep, lol, but obviously helped me not be so dehydrated. Now I have to get ready to leave here and drive to my next destination a few hours away.
Oh no Vonn! I hope they can still get your eggs fertilized and grown out to day5, then you can do an FET later when you are healed up.
As for me, I got my blood drawn at 9am yesterday then had a very long drive to my next destination, but no lab results (which makes sense if they close early on Thursday). I got them this morning, beta is now at 81, so more than doubled! I a m now feeling more little cramps and tugging going on. I am trying to drink more fluids, too. I chugged a large Powerade Zero and 2 liters of water late Wednesday night, which didn't help me sleep, lol, but obviously helped me not be so dehydrated. Now I have to get ready to leave here and drive to my next destination a few hours away.
Sophie2015
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That's awesome Jean!! Will they draw a 3rd beta?
I have no idea. It's like pulling teeth to get answers from this clinic. I had to send a message to them asking for the second blood draw. I tried calling the high risk OB to get an ultrasound appointment, but they won't do anything until you see your regular OB, but can't get anyone to answer phone over there. My GYN doesn't deliver babies anymore, so I have a referral to an OB. So, not sure what I do next until the clinic gives me instructions.
i am taking a peek in here after a year away... Makes me sad to see the struggles and familiar names still struggling. So painful all of it.
Can't believe same time like last year back to IVF 2 for me.
It's been a difficult year after the failed cycle with depression for me/hubby. Long road....
We almost started adoption route but a donor with my background did turn through and we are going for a donor egg cycle next month. I am expected to start Lupron early next week, donor will start meds early Sept and possible transfer around third week of Sept. It's shared cycle, unproven donor, with us as 2nd family, so I don't want to be optimistic but not be negative too. So hard to find that balance. Cant deal with another setback, it's taken too long to find air after drowning in this loss.
$$ and emotionally this is it, as we don't have $ left too for overseas adoption (to match my nationality) and that process is too long too.
looking to catch up with all.
Can't believe same time like last year back to IVF 2 for me.
It's been a difficult year after the failed cycle with depression for me/hubby. Long road....
We almost started adoption route but a donor with my background did turn through and we are going for a donor egg cycle next month. I am expected to start Lupron early next week, donor will start meds early Sept and possible transfer around third week of Sept. It's shared cycle, unproven donor, with us as 2nd family, so I don't want to be optimistic but not be negative too. So hard to find that balance. Cant deal with another setback, it's taken too long to find air after drowning in this loss.
$$ and emotionally this is it, as we don't have $ left too for overseas adoption (to match my nationality) and that process is too long too.
looking to catch up with all.
