40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies
Kismet, best of luck fingers crossed this is your time!
Emmi, when's your test date? 2WW is such a bitch!
Kat, how you feeling? How's dashwood?
Bash, I think the contraceptive pill is to stop your system doing what it would do naturally so that they can control it and time your cycle.
AFM, I had my follow up consult at the clinic and only got told what we know: highly unlikely I'll get pregnant using my own eggs (less than 5% chance). Yet again wasn't impressed with the dr who gave me wrong stats about my treatment (had to correct her twice) and then when we said we'd like to discuss donor eggs as this was the way forward she didn't seem to know anything about the program the clinic run and fumbled about trying to find info. I've since emailed the nurse who runs the program and got much more info, sucess rates 50-60% Vs <5% it's a no brainier really. We have to have a session with a counsellor 'implications councelling' next week then we get on the waiting list. Suddenly everything seems a little brighter. x

 

[bash73]

So I'm coming down the the wire of my TWW of TTC on our own. I'm due somewhere around Sat/Sun for AF. I have been crampy, today had a headache, had my usual insomnia pre AF last night (woke up at 130a and never really fell back to sleep). Still praying, AF doesn't show up so that I get a BFP and not have to go thru IUI and/or IVF.
I'm starting to think me getting a BFP isn't meant to be for us.

 

[Juniperjules]

Bash, I feel that way too. There's no real reason why we aren't getting a bfp... But we just aren't. It totally sucks! Keep ur chin up hun.. I know how hard it is. We all do. I'm due to Ov on Sunday but I almost can't even b bothered ttc on our own this time around. It's such a let down. We're doing IVF next cycle so I guess that's only 2 & a bit weeks away once we get to Ov. Ho hum....

Pussycat.. That sounds really positive for you. How soon would u start with donor eggs?

Emmi, I was just thinking how my FS does 5 day blastocysts, so one benefit of that is the tww is shorter after transfer!! Yay for something positive! Doing my best to find the positives these days. Can feel some slight panic creeping in. Worried OH will change his mind.. Worried things won't go to plan or I won't respond to the drugs.. My mind is just racing about it all... Think I just need it all to start ASAP..

 

[Pussycat1]

Oh Bash, I really feel for you, I've been there so many times but you have to stay positive. I'm not sure if you've had IUI or IVF before but it's really not that bad. Will you have IUI on your insurance or swallow the pain and go IVF? We did IUI first then switched but kind of wish I'd gone straight to IVF as in the interim my AMH plummeted. Either way it's a chance!
Juniper, good luck with the cycle, keep us posted!
Hopefully we'll start with donor eggs after Christmas, if we get on the list now. The nurse said the waiting list isn't too long, exactly how long depends how prescriptive we are about requirements for the donor. We're going to India for 2 weeks over Christmas and desperately need the holiday after almost 2 years of fertility treatment do that all fits perfectly and hopefully I'll come back chilled and ready to face this whole challenge.
Hope everyone else doing ok. x

 

[Emmi]

Hello Everyone -

Pussy cat - where are you going to in India?? I am of Indian origin That's fabulous that you are having a break - it will be wonderful! Don't forget to buy lots of the beautiful materials, jewellery and art work! The mark-up price here is totally bonkers!!!

Bash - awwww thinking about you. It's all so horrible and so hard....

Juniper - it's natural to be nervous about everything and anything! It's an exciting journey yet it's filled with so much anxiety and stress.

I am going totally doo lally - my test date is yonks away and I am trying my best to keep busy which is sooooo difficult! May end up in a padded cell at this rate!!!

xxxx

 

[bash73]

So my insurance will cover IUI 6 cycles. I'm no wayyyyyyy doing 6 freakin cycles. I'm thinking 1, 2 tops before we go IVF. Still have no clue how we would pay for it but one day at a time. I actually pulled preg tests out of the cabinet to see how many days before AF is due I can test as it's been some months since I've peed on those sticks. But, I'm gonna wait til Friday. And even then it might be too soon. I'm very crampy though, like AF can show up any day. I keep looking for pregnancy symptoms that I had last time and then I tell myself well that wasn't a normal pregnancy so maybe it'll be different. I just started a new job so my next phone call is to the doctor to find out what the office hours are since I will need blood work the day AF arrives and an U/S. I'm starting to feel like this is too much work and not how it's supposed to be.

 

[IowaGirl]

Hi Ladies,

I am going to have a pity party for myself today. I have taken provera to start AF and yesterday there was a hint of her and now she's gone. I am getting worried and stressed that another month is going to go by and I will not be able to start the drugs and try the IUI. I agree with you Bash all of this is too much work but when you want it so badly we just have to keep going forward!

 

[bash73]

IowaGirl...honestly, I really want to skip IUI and we do NOT have the money for IVF. I'm so tired this morning and thinking...it is going to be one rough month ahead if AF arrives. The FS office does the blood work and scan starting at 730a and last appt is 945 for that. Then follow up appts start at 10 with the last at 430. The office is a good 30 minutes from me. Sooooo praying that AF isn't going to arrive and that all that cramping was implantation. I'm not bloated anymore which is very strange so now I'm wondering what's going on...menopause??? Gonna need a vacation sooner than later I think. In my heart, I feel like we should stop "trying" and if it happens it happens. Next week though, I know my tune will change...always does. LOL Oh the joys of hormones. Well off to work!
Everyone have a great day!!!

 

[IowaGirl]

I am with you Bash, I want to skip the IUI too but we don't have the money for IVF either. AF finally showed (very little though) and I went to FS today for an ultrasound. I still have a cyst but it is 16mm which the nurse said was small and "probably" wouldnt affect me from starting the injectables so I am waiting for the phone call from the DR to see if we can move forward. The waiting is the worst part! Keeping my fingers crossed for all of us!

 

[bash73]

Good luck Iowa!!!

 

[Kat S]

Guys, I'm so sorry I've been MIA. My cat is just really sick, and he's been diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and there's nothing I can do to save him. My heart is breaking into a thousand pieces

I wish I had it in me to respond to each of you, but I have too much going on. Do know that I am hoping the best for all of you and am cheering you on in my heart even though I'm not responding much.

Since I have a scan in the morning to check my follies and I'm feeling crampy, I thought I'd bust out my CB Advanced Digital Ovulation tester. I had three sticks left from last month. I got a solid smiley just now, so that means I'm ...ovulating already?? Shit. I hope I don't miss it. My package of at-home insemination supplies never arrived in time, so all I have are Softcups. We'll do those tonight and hope for the best. They'll tell me tomorrow if we are too late for an IUI. I hope. I'm so cynical and am afraid they just want my money and will say we didn't miss it when we did.

 

[Juniperjules]

Kat, am so sorry about your cat. I know how it feels. One of my cats got sick with heart failure a few years back. He was young, only 6yrs old. We had to try & give him tablets which wasn't easy. But we did our best. in the end we had to decide to put him to sleep quite suddenly bcos one day I found him struggling to breathe, raced him to our vet, who told me that it was really the end. I didnt want to let him go, but bcos i loved him, i had to. And it was quick, peaceful & painless- I was with him. It broke our hearts. And im in tears even now writing this years later. He was a BEAUTIFUL cat, so loving & sweet.. He'd follow us around like a dog : )

It's so painful Kat. There's no way around it. We love them so much, and when we loose them it's devastating. Just do ur best to get thru it. Your cat is very lucky to have had such a wonderful life filled with love.. No animal could want more than a human who loves them sooooo much that they never ever want to let them go. And trust me, he knows that hon ; )

 

[Kat S]

Thank you, Juniper. Your support and understanding helps. I'm sorry for your loss!!

 

[Pussycat1]

Kat, sending you do much love. When I had to let my gorgeous cat go last year it was heartbreaking, I think you have to own an animal to understand how much you love them and get attached. All you can do is make your kitty as comfortable as you can and be strong when the time comes to say goodbye, it's so hard. Perhaps doing a cycle this month is just too much with everything else?
Iowa, how did the call go?
How's everyone else? x

 

[Kat S]

Pussycat1, when I started the Femara, it was right when I found out he was sick. This is the first cycle where I didn't think about baby all the time, just about my cat. I thought about chucking this cycle, but I need something to hold on to. Maybe I'll lose my cat but find out I'm pregnant? That thought keeps me going. So I'll go in for my scan this morning and see what they say. Since my OPK was positive last night, I'd be surprised if they didn't want to do the IUI tomorrow.

 

[Emmi]

Awww thinking of you Kat.... Have been through the pain many times - you just have to know that you gave the little one the most amazing life ever. It's hard letting go but you wouldn't want your bestest pal to suffer.

Lot of love to you xxxx

I am doing okay - I am 8 days passeD my egg transfer and am going crazy waiting!! The constant symptom spotting is driving me bonkers!!! All very hard but still have a while to go until my OTD!!!!!

 

[Kat S]

Emmi, this is such an exciting time for you! I hope you get good news soon

So that cramping I felt on the left yesterday? Follicle measured on the left at 25mm. They usually trigger me at around 16, so it looks like we waited longer than normal. Eep. They said they'd call me with the blood work to let me know if we missed it or not. In the meantime, they scheduled me for an IUI for tomorrow morning.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hey Kat, best of luck tomorrow!
Emmi, 8 days post transfer? Surely your test date must be soon? My clinic told me to test 14 days after egg collection. Keeping everything crossed for you! Any symptoms? x

 

[bash73]

Kat...good luck w/everything!!!!

 

[bash73]

Sooooo, I peed on the damn stick around 11am today....what is WRONG with me????? It was a total waste. I know better than to do that other than first pee. Ughhhhhh. I really want to believe that I will get a BFP and AF is gone for the next 10 months. Oh the joy that would bring. Or would it? Already I have it in my head that if I get a BFP is in my Left Tube this time? Either way, scheduled labs and scan for 745am Monday morning on the account AF arrives on time over the weekend. I have 3 test sticks left, do I tinkle on one in the morning? I'm due sat/sun for AF. I say, why not. The only thing is last time I got my BFP I didn't get the BFP until I was actually late. I was due on april 25th and didn't get a positive until Monday the 29th. But then I think, did it take long to show up cuz it wasn't "normal"? Aggghhhhh...thank God I have 4 jobs to keep me busy and not dwell on this all day long like I used to.