40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Briss]

My cramping is non stop and I started spotting from last night, I am trying to see it as a positive sign but tested and bfns so far

 

[Clizard]

Briss - lkeep staying positive

 

[Briss]

afm, 12 dpo this morning and tested negative, still cramping and spotting (a hint of light brown when I wipe). I am trying to see it as positive but quite hard every time I see it it just strikes me as wrong.

 

[Emmi]

When is your test date Briss - it could be implantation spotting if it's old blood.

 

[bash73]

Question for my IUI posters...what's the deal for pre and post IUI for DTD? Is it ok, can we not? I never thought to ask the doctor.

 

[Briss]

bash, cant really say about IUI but for IVF they do not recommend sex after ET. it's mainly to do with possible infection but Zita west also does not recommend it as it may interfere with implantation.

Emmi, my official test day is Wednesday, I will be 14 DPO.

 

[Kat S]

It's recommended for IUI to DTD the night of the procedure. Whether or not you do it a day or so before depends on your husband's sperm sample. My husband gives a better sample the Day of IUI if he abstains for 3 or 4 days prior, so we can't dtd before really.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Kat S]

Briss, any updates??

AFM,
I had my first acupuncture appt yesterday. Never did that before and honestly I felt really silly.

She stuck needles in my feet, legs, abdomen right over my ovaries, inside wrists, and my temples (temples were to combat stress). Then here comes the weird part, she busted out a machine with all these wires, and attached the wires to the ends of the needles on my stomach (Looked like a mini jumper cable operation!), and switched it on. The machine created a pulse every second or so and "massaged" my ovaries. It's called "electroacupuncture" and helps deliver a very site-specific message to the ovaries to get with the program.

This is what it looks like

https://tweedacupuncture.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/electroacupuncture.jpg

As Halloween is coming up I felt a little like Frankenstein.

In other news, you remember how the doc called and said my FSH levels were really high and my only hope is really IVF or donor eggs (but I can't afford it). Yesterday I was talking with one of the nurses who's generally had a negative attitude towards me since my miscarriage. Before my miscarriage she was great, and then suddenly she was short and testy with me. Treated me like I was so annoying. So anyway she answered the phone (ugh, great) when I called to say I wanted to lower the dosage of the injectables they sent through to the pharmacy because I can't afford $880 meds right now. Another (very kind) nurse told me before if I can't afford it, to just call and they'll lower it to make it more affordable. She acted very annoyed that I wanted to do this, basically treating me like I'm a naughty school girl who won't do what the teachers tell me to do because I'm just naturally contrary. I'd love to take the full 300ml dose, but I can only afford the 150ml dose. She said I really had to talk to the doctor, and I responded that I DID talk to the doctor, and since I can't afford what he recommends, this was his follow up recommendation. I guess I made her mad because she clearly didn't read my chart or she'd know that. Anyway, she then told me that if I wasn't going to follow their advice there wasn't anything they could do to help me, and then she said that soon they wouldn't go on treating me.

What?

I was so angry I just hung up. I was ASSURED that my insurance will pay for as many IUIs as I want. I could see that they would not want to continue to give me IUIs when I'm 44 or 45, but I'm still 41. I was pregnant less than a year ago! I respond beautifully to the meds they give me. If I'm willing to keep trying (and paying), why aren't they? Or is this her way of bullying me? I don't know, but after I calm down I'm going to talk to someone else there and report that conversation. I'm not supposed to have any stress and all that woman does is upset me. If I weren't afraid that another fertility office would turn me down, I'd jump ship.

In other news, I found this very encouraging article "TURNING BACK THE REPRODUCTIVE CLOCK: New Science, Old Wisdom By Randine Lewis MSOM, L.Ac., Ph.D.":

https://www.inciid.org/article.php?cat=preservation&id=219

 

[Briss]

Kat, were your ovary points sensitive? My acu doc was always needling my ovary points and it was so terribly painful!! I also had electroacupuncture as it supposed to reinforce the benefits of acupuncture. I love Randine Lewis! It all sounds so optimistic, isn't. The main thing I got from all her books is that having a good blood flow to reproductive organs is vital. So I've been trying to do just that, make sure my reproductive organs are always engaged so the body does not forget to divert a fair share of blood to them. During my IVF cycle they noted that I had a very good blood flow to the dominant follicle and uterus. I think that's all that matters in turning the clock back. I am sorry you had this very unpleasant conversation at your clinic, cant believe that are being so nasty and unaccommodating to you! why do you think other clinics wont accept you? your FSH is not that high for your age.

afm, spotting is just getting darker and more brown. I am researching pregnancy tests, I do not think my 10miu cheap ones are really that sensitive! I've read about so many complaints, people were getting bfns with them and bfps with more expensive ones from the same urine sample! I am going to buy the entire range of tests from boots tonight and will report back

 

[Juniperjules]

Kat, absolutely DO NOT take that crap from that nurse. I'm a nurse, & sometimes I could just scream at the stories I hear from people who have terrible experiences like youve just relayed.... Wot a nasty horrible piece of work she is. People like her should get out of nursing, at the very heart of nursing is supposed to be the premise of 'caring'!!!!! Unfortunately these days too many people go into nursing who don't have a soft, gentle bone in their bodies & the concept of caring goes right out the window. If u were told lowering meds was an option then she had no right to comment otherwise OR be such a cow about it... Even if u were making it up she still had no right! She is doing a job & she should remember that- YOU are the customer. You should absolutely report her. And tell them you aren't happy to deal with her anymore. All of this ttc stuff is tough, & only made harder by horrible people like that nurse. I'd have told her to pull her head in- I've got no patience for health professional who don't do their job properly...

Will be having a look at that article you linked, thanx!

 

[bash73]

Kat before you jump ship if you decide to, why not go check out another fertility doc/center? That's what I did w/the OB/GYN after my horrible summer. I figured the worst case, I keep looking until I found someone that worked well with me. I now look at doctor's as relationships. I didn't marry for the first man I dated, so I kinda feel it's the same for a doctor.
Chin up, we're all on your side!

 

[Kat S]

I wonder if these docs give up on IUI and push SO hard for IVF because that's where they make their real money? I hate the feeling that I'm in a car lot and they are pushing a more expensive Range Rover when all I need is a little hatchback.

 

[IowaGirl]

Kat - that is horrible! I can't believe that the nurse would say that to you! They have to know how stressful this infertility is on us so why would she try to make it worse! She should not be working there! My dr told me we could do whatever we wanted. He said if we want to do IUI as many times as we want we could or we could go straight to IVF. He made it clear that it was our choice. Although I have just started going to this clinic I hope that stays true!

My accupunturist does not do that. She only puts them in my hands, legs and head. I think I need to ask her about your procedure, sounds like that would be better for getting the blood flow there!

AFM - nothing new, just waiting for AF to show again in a couple of weeks so I can get the ball rolling again. The FS put me on BC pills this month so there is really no need to try ovulation tests...

 

[Pussycat1]

Kat, sorry but that nurse needs to take a reality check. Is it worth asking to speak to the head nurse or at least another nurse? I think they forget sometimes that you're paying their wages, really disgusting.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
AFM, day 28 and really trying not to symptom watch. Fairly certain I'm 11DPO and feeling totally exhausted (it's 8:30pm and I want to go to bed!), but then I am also working flat out at the moment. So just hanging on waiting for AF, but wouldn't it be sooo amazing if it just happened?! x

 

[Katie Potatie]

Hi ladies, I'm sorry that I'm just busting in on your thread but I've been keeping up with all of you because I SOOO want to see you all successfully conceive! I'm truly rooting for each and every one of you!

The reason that I'm posting here is simply because I've seen your discussions about the statistics of conceiving after 40, etc. Something that I don't believe the statistics may take into account, is the fact that many women are not trying to conceive into their 40s. Yes, of course, our bodies are going to age and it's going to be a more difficult process than when we were 20. But the majority of women at that time, have likely decided they are done having children. Tubes are being tied, vasectomies have occurred, sex-life with a long time partner has decreased, and they likely are not trying to time their BD around ovulation, taking fertility supplements, etc.

I refuse to read statistics. They will freak the bejesus us out of you. After doing research on Ancestry.com, I found out several of my "old timey" relatives were having children into their 40's. My great-great-great grandmother had her last daughter at 51. (They didn't have vasectomies and such back then, obviously!).

When you get down about this maddening process DO NOT LOSE HOPE! It IS possible! Sending out prayers and love to all of you!

 

[kaysbc]

Kat-OMG I cannot believe what horrible insensitive treatment that nurse gave you! But I would listen to Juniper and the others, don't jump ship, you are the customer there. And there are other nurses there that are nicer that you can deal with and ask for. File a complaint against her and keep on!

I think about your comment about how maybe the clinics push IVF because they can make more money off them than IUI and more conservative therapies. Although I love my clinic, I have had that same thought more than once that they are often pushing IVF, and I really don't want to do it. I will never be able to afford it, but also I'm not quite ready for something so invasive. But they mention it all the time as if its so natural that I would just do that.

Your acupuncture experience sounds totally weird! glad you went, hope its helpful.

Bliss- hang in there, stay positive, and keep us updated.

 

[jen379]

Kat, oh so much going on...wow! i'm sorry that the receptionist/nurse talked to you in that way. they should have a staff that is completely sensitive and sympathetic to their patients' needs--without question.

when i was doing iui, i had the wonderful experience of a nurse tech offering and giving me bravelle injections for free. yes, for free. i freaked out about the cost, told her it wasn't an option due to finances. she called me back days later, telling me she could get me samples. i remember crying. there are and should be people who help you in this process. it's a shame that that woman didn't see herself as a vehicle for helping/comforting you.

also on the acup, my acupuncturist does the same thing. a little freaky but you're getting more bang for your buck. if they don't stimulate they needles by turning them every so often or hooking them up the battery charger (lol!) then they are NOT stimulating those points continuously during your time there. the first person i did acup with left me in dark room, for 45 mins and never turned did anything else during my visit. one of many reasons i stopped appts with her.

yes, i do think dr's in the US don't want to do IUI with those of us at a certain age b/c the results don't make their clinic success stories go up. my FS told me that if i got preg naturally, i'd have 50% mc rate due to egg quality. heaven forbid these "so called 'specialists'" team up with nutritionist, acupuncturist and actually conduct some healthcare therapy to increase quality of eggs. seriously, sometimes i think they don't want to help us increase the "quality of the soil in which the fruit is planted" because if we were to increase statistics of getting pregnant naturally, we wouldn't NEED them!! yes, i'm a bit jaded. although some parts of my experience were incredibly wonderful, i often thought they were setting the stage for IVF with donor eggs.

with that being said, i do believe dr's exist that actually care. just hard to find!!

i wish you the best Kat! do not give up on yourself!! go with your instincts!!

 

[Driving280]

Hi - Like Katie, I have been following this thread, as I so much hope that each of you gets that wonderful, sticky BFP. Kat, you seem like such an absolutely wonderful person from all of your posts, and so helpful to everyone. I am so sorry you are in this situation!

As to IVF and IUI, the statistics are what they are, but if you can't afford IVF, then clearly they need to come up with what helps you most within the constraints that you have!

I just had my first appointment with the dr (who I liked a lot) at a clinic with fantastic SART numbers but was a bit taken aback too by the push of IVF. I have a uterine issue that makes having multiples very dangerous, but that does not mean I need to have IVF with ICSI and PGE right off the bat. After she counted my antral follicles (26!), she said my ovaries were extremely robust and active, I said that I might just do the tests and try naturally for a while, she said, "oh, but 80% of those eggs are defective so IVF is the only way to be sure." And outlined a plan to do IVF basically in a month. Wha... Not doing that.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Emmi]

Hi ladies, I'm sorry that I'm just busting in on your thread but I've been keeping up with all of you because I SOOO want to see you all successfully conceive! I'm truly rooting for each and every one of you!

The reason that I'm posting here is simply because I've seen your discussions about the statistics of conceiving after 40, etc. Something that I don't believe the statistics may take into account, is the fact that many women are not trying to conceive into their 40s. Yes, of course, our bodies are going to age and it's going to be a more difficult process than when we were 20. But the majority of women at that time, have likely decided they are done having children. Tubes are being tied, vasectomies have occurred, sex-life with a long time partner has decreased, and they likely are not trying to time their BD around ovulation, taking fertility supplements, etc.

I refuse to read statistics. They will freak the bejesus us out of you. After doing research on Ancestry.com, I found out several of my "old timey" relatives were having children into their 40's. My great-great-great grandmother had her last daughter at 51. (They didn't have vasectomies and such back then, obviously!).

When you get down about this maddening process DO NOT LOSE HOPE! It IS possible! Sending out prayers and love to all of you!

Thank you for that - it makes perfect sense and kinda makes me want to scream even more at the stats!!!! Love how some of your ancestors were giving birth later in life - there are so many stories like that so thank you

 

[kaysbc]

So I'm 10 days post-IUI today, and feeling crampy. I think AF is on the way. Trying not to get discouraged.