40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Kat S]

Hi, Everyone!! Just a reminder that this thread is for women trying to conceive their FIRST child. It's a safe place for women over 40 with NO children who are struggling and praying for "just one".

Thank you!!

 

[Briss]

unfortunately out first natural cycle IVF is ending in chemical but this is closer to getting pregnant than we ever were… feeling rather sad

 

[Emmi]

unfortunately out first natural cycle IVF is ending in chemical but this is closer to getting pregnant than we ever were… feeling rather sad

So sorry Briss - I can't even imagine how you feel.

 

[Kat S]

Oh Briss, Noooo!!! Honey I personally understand how broken hearted you are. I suffered an early loss, too. Massive hugs and lots of love your way. We are here to listen.

 

[bash73]

It will happen Briss, keep the faith!

 

[Kat S]

I know Briss isn't feeling positive right now, and that's pretty normal, but let's put out some positive energy in her honor!

This was a nice blog entry over on "A Child After 40"

https://achildafter40.com/get-pregnant-over40-using-mind-over-matter/

And here's a thread full of women who got pregnant after 40. Some with IUI/IVF but some naturally

https://www.twoweekwait.com/bfp-over-40

 

[Briss]

Thank you ladies! your support is amazing!

 

[Briss]

I know Briss isn't feeling positive right now, and that's pretty normal, but let's put out some positive energy in her honor!

This was a nice blog entry over on "A Child After 40"

https://achildafter40.com/get-pregnant-over40-using-mind-over-matter/

And here's a thread full of women who got pregnant after 40. Some with IUI/IVF but some naturally

https://www.twoweekwait.com/bfp-over-40

Kat, thanks! I love tip 3, this is something I can use several times a day turning my pain into something positive!

 

[Kat S]

Briss, you are so welcome. There are days when I cry and cry and feel hopeless, and you guys are always here for me. We will help you to keep going.

I put up a new post-it note on my wall today: "Don't Stop Believing"

This past cycle when I got my period after all those lovely "you might be pregnant signs," I had to get in the car and take my mom somewhere. When I turned on the car that strange song by Chumbawamba came on immediately ...

I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPLL5mq2Z8A

I started to cry and believed in that moment that the universe is telling me to keep trying.

 

[Kat S]

Another inspirational article!!

https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/preconception/why-i-have-faith-in-natural-fertility-after-40.aspx

 

[Briss]

I agree, we have to keep trying. besides, there is nothing else we can do but to carry on. I tried naturally for as long as I could, tried everything under the sun, now moving to IVF world and will keep trying natural IVf, maybe will move to fully stimulated IVF I do not know. I will have to keep trying what else is there to so?

 

[Emmi]

Briss, you are so welcome. There are days when I cry and cry and feel hopeless, and you guys are always here for me. We will help you to keep going.

I put up a new post-it note on my wall today: "Don't Stop Believing"

This past cycle when I got my period after all those lovely "you might be pregnant signs," I had to get in the car and take my mom somewhere. When I turned on the car that strange song by Chumbawamba came on immediately ...

I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked, down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPLL5mq2Z8A

I started to cry and believed in that moment that the universe is telling me to keep trying.

Hugs to you Kat And yes - when we get knocked down - we're gonna get up again!!! xxx

 

[Emmi]

I agree, we have to keep trying. besides, there is nothing else we can do but to carry on. I tried naturally for as long as I could, tried everything under the sun, now moving to IVF world and will keep trying natural IVf, maybe will move to fully stimulated IVF I do not know. I will have to keep trying what else is there to so?

That is my mantra - I will keep trying......Miracles happen every day and fertility is just not black and white. I have to keep the faith and draw strength from deep inside when I feel like giving up on everything. It's easy to feel beaten by it all by just gotta keep on going.

 

[Briss]

I feel beaten, exhausted, frustrated, deeply sad, angry etc but the only thing worse is to feel completely hopeless and that's how I would feel if I stopped trying I think

 

[Emmi]

I feel beaten, exhausted, frustrated, deeply sad, angry etc but the only thing worse is to feel completely hopeless and that's how I would feel if I stopped trying I think

Exactly......That's why I wanted to source any supplements etc to help when my IVF failed - I felt and still feel so sad and bereft but as long as we have the fight in us - no matter how small then we just keep moving forward. But Lordy - it's so hard sometimes. I really do know you feel - the world seems so unfair sometimes.

 

[Emmi]

Another inspirational article!!

https://www.whattoexpect.com/wom/preconception/why-i-have-faith-in-natural-fertility-after-40.aspx

Love love this article. I am 43 in January and I am having a total meltdown over it............
Fertility + 43 = lots of tears out of fear and having everything negative shoved in my face to do with women over a certain age trying to conceive........
These articles are what I need to be reading! Thank you Kat

 

[Pussycat1]

Briss, so sorry hon, and you are so right it's keeping the faith and keeping on trying that gets us all through each day.
You ladies are all amazing and each and every one of you deserves a bundle of joy as you clearly have so much love to give. xx

 

[Briss]

Ladies, while going through the trauma of failing IVF it got me thinking, when I got my bfp I was actually scared (very deep down) because I realised I know nothing about pregnancy. I've been for ever and ever stuck in the TTC world and that's all I know. I've become over the years very good at TTC but that's all. One of your articles, Kat was talking about mindset and that also got me thinking that maybe we need to take our mind off TTC and towards the actual pregnancy. So I decided to put aside my extensive TTC library and buy some books on pregnancy. Maybe if I start accumulating knowledge on pregnancy that will change my mindset and then the body will follow? it might be complete nonsense but I'm going to try it anyway. because at the moment all I am thinking about is TTC, I need to break this pattern and start thinking outside of TTC. i cant go completely outside and start learning something random but pregnancy seems relevant and a good place to start. It's very scary actually because I never allow myself to watch childbirth/baby related stuff as it causes enormous pain, when LTTTC your first there is always underlying fear: what if you never need these skills or knowledge; what if you never get to experience that etc. I want to break through that fear and learn to think positively and believe that it's going to happen and soon.

now, any suggestions on what are the best pregnancy books on the market?

I am thinking of these:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Comprehensive/dp/1405332107/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.zitawest.com/buy/books/pregnancy/?gclid=CKGkpeHDnroCFbDMtAodORoA7w

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-B...id=1382033633&sr=8-1&keywords=Miriam+Stoppard

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-...evised/dp/1907952292/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/1847373755/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Eat-W...0/ref=pd_luc_cartrec_02_01_t_lh?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

[Kat S]

That's a great idea! And I shall start visualizing myself pregnant, too.

I'll look into the book list later tonight. I'm at work now, then we have a vet appt for one of our cats.

 

[Clizard]

Ladies, while going through the trauma of failing IVF it got me thinking, when I got my bfp I was actually scared (very deep down) because I realised I know nothing about pregnancy. I've been for ever and ever stuck in the TTC world and that's all I know. I've become over the years very good at TTC but that's all. One of your articles, Kat was talking about mindset and that also got me thinking that maybe we need to take our mind off TTC and towards the actual pregnancy. So I decided to put aside my extensive TTC library and buy some books on pregnancy. Maybe if I start accumulating knowledge on pregnancy that will change my mindset and then the body will follow? it might be complete nonsense but I'm going to try it anyway. because at the moment all I am thinking about is TTC, I need to break this pattern and start thinking outside of TTC. i cant go completely outside and start learning something random but pregnancy seems relevant and a good place to start. It's very scary actually because I never allow myself to watch childbirth/baby related stuff as it causes enormous pain, when LTTTC your first there is always underlying fear: what if you never need these skills or knowledge; what if you never get to experience that etc. I want to break through that fear and learn to think positively and believe that it's going to happen and soon.

now, any suggestions on what are the best pregnancy books on the market?

I am thinking of these:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Day-Day-Pregnancy-Book-Comprehensive/dp/1405332107/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.zitawest.com/buy/books/pregnancy/?gclid=CKGkpeHDnroCFbDMtAodORoA7w

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-B...id=1382033633&sr=8-1&keywords=Miriam+Stoppard

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-...evised/dp/1907952292/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Expecting/dp/1847373755/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Eat-W...0/ref=pd_luc_cartrec_02_01_t_lh?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Good idea Briss. I like your thinking. I remember using some inspirational quotes and envisioning techniques when I was struggling to get through a tough time (not preg related). I taped them inside a diary that I used everyday. I also had one on my mirror and looked at myself, in the eyes, whilst saying it out aloud. Maybe you could do something similar - tailored to your experiences? Think mine said something like - "You are fit, slim and attractive blah blah blah" and the other was a great quote about happiness being a state of mind. I still use them now, not as regularly, but enough to reinforce a positive state of mind.