40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Pussycat1]

Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ...
Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it.
After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx

 

[Emmi]

Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ...
Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it.
After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx

Yep - never bothered with age before but this whole process gets you analysing everything and anything. Am so scared of the dreaded M but I have to believe that it's way off and I just have to keep taking one step at a time- why is that so hard, I am always rushing ahead of myself.

But wow - what wonderful wonderful news for you So happy for you - I can feel you smiling from here!!!! Lets keep everything crossed that your time has come - very exciting!! xx

 

[Kat S]

Emmi, I know exactly what you mean about the dreaded 'M'. Someone said to me perhaps you're Pre-M (whatever that means), and I could have cried. I'm 43 not 53!! I've never taken notice of age as I've always felt young and lived a 'young' life, so this is the first time I've had to confront the age thing and accept that perhaps my age is going to stop me doing something. It's tough. This month will pass ...
Kat, oh hon, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You're such a strong person to have been through that. Be kind to yourself over the next couple of weeks you deserve it.
After my post this morning I got some amazing news: they've matched me to a donor!! She sounds perfect, same height, build, colouring, even curly hair! She has similar interests and a similar career path to me. The only difference is eye colour (brown and I'm blue), but my partner has brown eyes and to be honest they could be tartan and I'd be happy if it gets me BFP! I have an appointment on Friday to start things rolling and get a schedule of treatment. I can't tell you how excited I am and I feel like I just bought my first lottery ticket!! xx

Oh that's wonderful!! I'm so happy for you!

 

[Hortensia]

Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies
I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess x

Pussycat, that's an incredibly apt analogy and exactly how I feel! I had had to avoid pregnancy for so long that part of me felt I would immediately get pregnant at first try. Completely irrational, but that's the result of a paranoid Catholic education for you I read the good news about the donor though - that sounds really positive and exciting!

Have a case of the January blues myself. POAS this morning at 10dpo. Negative. Of course. I only did it (I tell myself) because I'm having particularly bad PMS. Now I'm just feeling a massive amount of idiotic self-pity.

 

[Hortensia]

I turned 42 over the weekend. Tomorrow is roughly the day a year ago that my baby's heart stopped beating. I went in for a scan on the 15th and all was well. When I went in a week later, they said my baby more or less died right after the scan. This week and next week sucks. Also, not a surprise but I got a BFN on a FRER this morning. I think I'm 12 dpo.

Wow, Pussycat your lottery analogy is spot on! I didn't have a pregnancy test for yesterday and I was like "Oh well," whereas 6 months ago I would have been driving to an all-night drugstore to make sure I had one for the next morning.

Kat, that just sounds heartbreaking. There are no words, really. I've never had a miscarriage - never been pregnant, so I can only imagine, but I think I'd take a long while to recover emotionally.

I hope you don't mind me asking this - but how long had you been trying before you decided to seek medical help? And did that consist initially of blood tests, or did you and your partner go for full and comprehensive tests? I am woefully ignorant about all of this, even things like Clomid, which I know a LOT of women have used. I don't even know what it is used for. Need to do some reading, I guess, but so much of it is disheartening.

 

[Emmi]

Iowa, hopefully it's too early. This whole process is so exhausting. We're in the process of waiting for a donor, my coordinator said she hoped to be in touch early Jan but I haven't heard anything yet. Every day I wait for the phone to ring ...
Hortensia, you are so right, this is no fun at all for us 40 plus ladies
I was talking to a friend about this whole long journey that I've been on and she was asking about how I feel at the start of each process. The best way I could describe it was to compare it to when we first got the lottery in the UK 20 odd years ago. I remember the first draw and we were all convinced we were going to win. As each draw passed that hope and conviction that I was going to win was a little less until I stopped doing it. I'm approaching this stage with TTC, but I can't see how my life is going to be without this, I can't imagine what my future will be and it scares me so much. Sorry to be down, January blues I guess x

Pussycat, that's an incredibly apt analogy and exactly how I feel! I had had to avoid pregnancy for so long that part of me felt I would immediately get pregnant at first try. Completely irrational, but that's the result of a paranoid Catholic education for you I read the good news about the donor though - that sounds really positive and exciting!

Have a case of the January blues myself. POAS this morning at 10dpo. Negative. Of course. I only did it (I tell myself) because I'm having particularly bad PMS. Now I'm just feeling a massive amount of idiotic self-pity.

Yep - am feeling that self pity. I have high fertility on my monitor but no sign of the peak and I am on day 18......Just feel so in limbo and so frustrated. I am feeling so envious of people that have children - I just want to scream 'why not meee'! Gawd - I am hoping I ditch these blues soon!

And interesting that you mention the whole avoiding getting pregnant because of catholic education - I went to a Catholic Convent school and am from a Hindu Indian family where pregnancy was something only to be done at the right time etc etc.....So - now I am finally where I am supposed to be according to it all - so why aren't I pregnant!?!?

 

[kaysbc]

Hello gals, It sounds like we need to cheer up all these January Blues!

Pussycat I am so happy for you finding a donor, and you sound so happy and positive! This is such a good thing

Welcome Hortensia !

I also agree with this lottery analogy. I never want to truly give up hope, there is always a percentage of me that truly believes it will happen to me one day, but every month when AF arrives that hope and belief does die a little bit. Its almost really like I'm expecting to fail, you know? I try to be strong and positive, but I have a lot of very weak days where depression really does set in.

One of the things I really love about my acupuncturist is that she is always so positive. I always leave my visits extra positive, hopeful, and happy. She has an amazing way of cheering me up. She speaks with the firm belief that she will help me get pregnant, that it really will happen. She 100% believes that, and I really need to hear it.

I'm expecting my next period on my 41st birthday. Wouldnt it be the best birthday gift ever to get a BFP?

I know what you all mean about not feeling "old". I never feel my "age", its not something I ever think about really, except when its related to TTC. Time is definitely not on our side. But it really is possible for all of us.

 

[Clizard]

Ladies, I hope the new year finds you all well. I have been MIA thanks to a frantic family Christmas, conked out computer and stupid uni assessments. It's been all go go go and time has flown by I'm pleased to say
Kat - thinking of you over this period xx
Pussycat - donor sounds exciting
hello Hortensia and hello again everybody else!
I need to read the posts and catch up with everything going on - just wanted to check in

 

[Clizard]

Hello gals, It sounds like we need to cheer up all these January Blues!

Pussycat I am so happy for you finding a donor, and you sound so happy and positive! This is such a good thing

Welcome Hortensia !

I also agree with this lottery analogy. I never want to truly give up hope, there is always a percentage of me that truly believes it will happen to me one day, but every month when AF arrives that hope and belief does die a little bit. Its almost really like I'm expecting to fail, you know? I try to be strong and positive, but I have a lot of very weak days where depression really does set in.

One of the things I really love about my acupuncturist is that she is always so positive. I always leave my visits extra positive, hopeful, and happy. She has an amazing way of cheering me up. She speaks with the firm belief that she will help me get pregnant, that it really will happen. She 100% believes that, and I really need to hear it.

I'm expecting my next period on my 41st birthday. Wouldnt it be the best birthday gift ever to get a BFP?

I know what you all mean about not feeling "old". I never feel my "age", its not something I ever think about really, except when its related to TTC. Time is definitely not on our side. But it really is possible for all of us.

Always surround yourself with positive people - that should be my life motto Kaysbc!

 

[Kat S]

Gwen Stefani, 44, pregnant with baby boy #3.

Should that give me hope or did she do IVF?

 

[bash73]

I think the same thing Kat about anyone I hear about preg in hollywood. Drew Barrymore is preg too but she's only 38 and it's her 2nd. I think once you have one, your body's hormones start do funkier things and makes you more fertile. But, that's just my thought.

Just caught up on our posts....I started a new page, of course I can't remember the name of it, Kat feel free to post it if you still have it please.

I know it's tough for all of us and I keep muddling thru month after month and it's only cycle#4 for me so I can't complain. But, let's remember this and some of you might want to gouge my eyes out for this. We are all healthy, yes? Surround yourself w/positive people and do fun stuff. Stay busy to keep your mind off of this stuff. And I know, it's easier said than done!

AFM...IUI#4 scheduled for tomorrow morning as I am CD8 today, go figure. CD1 I had a right sided folly measuring at 14mm all by itself and has grown to 19 today. Everything else wasn't really worth mentioning. Doc gave me the option to skip IUI or do it. Really no risks in doing it as I don't have a tube on my right side. I even started to O on my own w/o the trigger today. Still had to trigger though. Things that make you go hmmmm. My first thought, which I didn't mention to the doc or staff was maybe this is the one that is so dominant that it will split and my twins will happen LOL. I know I'm crazy. I am going to try my hardest not to test at home this round. I might test the trigger out but that's it. (yeah right who are we kidding). Feb. 3rd scheduled for beta. Fingers crossed and prayers we have a good sample from DH tomorrow morning!

 

[Newtothis2121]

I am 42 going on 43 in April. My partner and I decided last summer that we wanted to be parents which would be a first for both of us. He works away which I knew would make is very difficult timing wise. He was home twice during the summer and two week periods. No luck. Then he was away for three months and returned early December. Af ended the day before he got home on Dec 13. On December 22 - 26 had pinkish cm. Then af on Dec 27-30. It did seem like a bit of a short and weird cycle. He left again on January 2. Yesterday I was going for groceries and decided out of the blue to buy a home test. Through out the summer when he was home I became a little obsessed with POAS hoping to see a positive. Well, I literally stopped at a gas station, went in and did the test in the rest room and lo and behold a BFP. Got home took the other test in the pkg and got a second bfp.

The things I did were trying to keep myself with very little stress, I drank zero alcohol and ate healthy and took a prenatal vitamin.

Symptoms were: had sore boobs right after af and thought oh great I have some hormone imbalance or something, some mild cramping to the sides and lots of cm after what I thought was O in January. I have to get to the dr this week and find out more, if it happened in Dec or if it happened in Jan.

I know it was very difficult for me mentally after we decided to start trying because I had so many concerns and wondered if it would even be possible.

But there you have it, I will be 43 in two months!

 

[Emmi]

I am 42 going on 43 in April. My partner and I decided last summer that we wanted to be parents which would be a first for both of us. He works away which I knew would make is very difficult timing wise. He was home twice during the summer and two week periods. No luck. Then he was away for three months and returned early December. Af ended the day before he got home on Dec 13. On December 22 - 26 had pinkish cm. Then af on Dec 27-30. It did seem like a bit of a short and weird cycle. He left again on January 2. Yesterday I was going for groceries and decided out of the blue to buy a home test. Through out the summer when he was home I became a little obsessed with POAS hoping to see a positive. Well, I literally stopped at a gas station, went in and did the test in the rest room and lo and behold a BFP. Got home took the other test in the pkg and got a second bfp.



The things I did were trying to keep myself with very little stress, I drank zero alcohol and ate healthy and took a prenatal vitamin.

Symptoms were: had sore boobs right after af and thought oh great I have some hormone imbalance or something, some mild cramping to the sides and lots of cm after what I thought was O in January. I have to get to the dr this week and find out more, if it happened in Dec or if it happened in Jan.

I know it was very difficult for me mentally after we decided to start trying because I had so many concerns and wondered if it would even be possible.

But there you have it, I will be 43 in two months!

Thank you for sharing! And congrats to you - here's to a wonderful and smooth pregnancy.

I am 43 next week and feeling really blue about but you have given me much needed hope - thank you.

xxx

 

[Kat S]

Looks like my OPK was off the mark earlier this month. I should have gotten my period two days ago, but no sign. FRER says BFN. I must have ovulated closer to the 5th (around CD 14), making my period due around Monday. PLEASE don't let me get it on Tuesday, which is the anniversary of the day I found out my baby didn't have a heartbeat last year.

 

[Kat S]

Ladies, I have amended the first post in this thread to clarify our purpose. This thread is more of a "come get support during your difficult journey," and not a "please tell us about your BFP". While I am DELIGHTED for ladies who are successful, this isn't the right thread to join to make that announcement. While I know you just want to show us that it's possible, it ends up making many of us feel worse about ourselves. Since I know that is not your intention, no one is mad I'd just like to protect the hard-working TTCers in this thread.

Thank you!

 

[Newtothis2121]

Hey Kat,

I just want you to know I definitely did not post here to "announce" anything. The thread was titled 40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!, and I have been lurking on these forums for months trying to find anything to read that might help me. I was unable to conceive in a previous relationship over a period of 7 years. It was hearing from others in my age group that gave me hope. I am sorry if you felt my post was inappropriate.

 

[Kat S]

Newtothis2121,

Announcing a BFP is a very sensitive matter, even on a TTC board. I'm sure you've noticed that during your months of lurking. Many threads don't even permit them because it's too painful for the other members to see. I'm sure you didn't realize how painful it might be to hear from someone brand new (even your screen name implies you are new to ttc) who said she got pregnant after only 6 months or so of trying. I'm sorry I've made you angry. I hope you find the right thread for you.

 

[bash73]

Soooo IUI#4 today...DH had 63 million and they used 25 million swimming fwd woohooo....Now, find that one egg that I had and Left tube, sweep, sweep, sweep. The odds are sooooo against me this cycle but it only takes "one" and a miracle so God, if it's your will, it will happen this time. If not, we try again next month.

 

[Driving280]

KatS, it is simply inappropriate for you to bite the head off of someone like this. This is not your personal thread on your personal blog or server, it is a public forum. Congratulations are in order. I am sorry that it is painful for you to see BFPs from 40+ women, but for many (including me) it is great and fills me with hope and joy for her. I hope that all of us have BFPs soon. I also hope that you, KatS, look in the mirror and decide whether this kind of bitterness and selfishness is where you want to go with yourself.

 

[Kat S]

Driving280, I did start this thread, but of course I do not own it or the forum. Generally people who start a thread have some sort of say in the content they want to appear. I feel I have a right to say something if I feel the thread is going in a different direction than I intended. It was not my intention to bite anyone's head off. I said nothing in anger and am really surprised it's being taken that way. This thread is listed in the TTC forum, not the pregnancy forum. Again, I am very sorry to have offended anyone, and if this thread isn't the right place for you, I understand and wish you the best of luck.