40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Kat S]

Bash, I hope your big follie sweeps over to the correct tube and your DH's millions all hit the target!

 

[Pussycat1]

Bash, Ohh best of luck!! You are of course correct, positive thoughts are important, I really hope this is your month!
x

 

[Pussycat1]

On the subject of BFP announcements, I can see both sides of this argument and TBH I don't think Kat has bitten anyone's head off but just pointed out she started this thread as acplace of support for those TTC, not those who have been lucky enough to do so. On the one hand this does offer hope for us but on the other, we all hear these stories every day and while we may be delighted for those ladies it doesn't make it any easier for those of us who struggle.
Driving280, I'm sorry Kats comments have obviously upset you so much but i find your aggressive and very personal attack, at what is a very difficult time for her, upsetting and unnecessary. I hope we can draw a line under this incident and accept that we all have a right to our opinions but should express them in a considerate and non aggressive way.
x

 

[Emmi]

I totally understand what Kat is saying - on bad days, bfp announcements can send me totally bonkers but as I am about to turn 43 very soon - that particular announcement gave me a wee bit hope. Kat has been going through so much as I guess we all are so lets all just support each other.

Anyway - enough of personal attacks - as Pussycat said - lets draw the line now. It's a sunny day here in the UK so we are out for a pub lunch and glass of wine. I can feel my AF cramps and I didn't peak this month so feel I deserve a glass of something!!!!

xxx

 

[Kat S]

Ladies, thank you. Some days we search out BFP stories to give us hope and some days we just don't want to hear it. It's complicated! LOL

I'm happy to announce that I'm back to a 28 day cycle after a few months of wonkiness. Got AF this morning. You know, I think maybe the Chinese herbs I was taking just didn't jive with my system. I didn't take them this month and I didn't have any acupuncture and I seem to be back to normal. Go figure. I've started the COQ10 again, too. I've heard that takes 90 days to affect your eggs, so maybe we'll get lucky in the Spring.

 

[Hope3]

I totally understand what Kat is saying - on bad days, bfp announcements can send me totally bonkers but as I am about to turn 43 very soon - that particular announcement gave me a wee bit hope. Kat has been going through so much as I guess we all are so lets all just support each other.

Anyway - enough of personal attacks - as Pussycat said - lets draw the line now. It's a sunny day here in the UK so we are out for a pub lunch and glass of wine. I can feel my AF cramps and I didn't peak this month so feel I deserve a glass of something!!!!

xxx

You're spot on. I have to admit when I read the post it made me feel sad instead of hopeful but that's just because of the space I'm in right now. As you say sometimes the announcements are welcome, sometimes not.

I hope you enjoyed your pub lunch!

 

[Emmi]

Yep - just depends what space that we are in. On good days - it gives me hope and on bad days, I feel that's never ever going to happen.

Pub lunch was fabulous thank you - gotta love a Sunday roast and a glass or 2 of red ;-)

Hope that you and everyone else has been having a good weekend.

xxx

 

[Emmi]

Ladies, thank you. Some days we search out BFP stories to give us hope and some days we just don't want to hear it. It's complicated! LOL

I'm happy to announce that I'm back to a 28 day cycle after a few months of wonkiness. Got AF this morning. You know, I think maybe the Chinese herbs I was taking just didn't jive with my system. I didn't take them this month and I didn't have any acupuncture and I seem to be back to normal. Go figure. I've started the COQ10 again, too. I've heard that takes 90 days to affect your eggs, so maybe we'll get lucky in the Spring.

That's great that you are back to 28 days! And yes - it takes 90 days to get into your system - so much patience needed for us huh!

x

 

[Kat S]

Went to lunch today with a girl I've known online for almost 10 years. She happened to be in town with her husband so we met up. Since they'd been in town for a wedding, they were talking about family. Her husband is 6 of 7 children and his mom has 62 grandkids. All I could think about when they were talking about that is how my mom won't be a grandmom and I won't be a mom. There won't be any huge weddings filled with family like that. It was a nice lunch, but I hate that simple, seemingly innocuous conversations like that can leave me feeling sad. My cramps weren't letting me forget that I failed this month yet again.

I think it's time for tea. Isn't Mr. Selfridge on tv tonight?

 

[terripeachy]

Kat S- I am kind of barging in here, but I have read ALL of this thread in the past, and I totally just want to give you a hug. When I read the earlier post, I was wondering what, if anything, you were going to say. I am excited about hearing BFP announcements too, so I hear you on that. Why not be happy for someone when they get everything they have dreamed, prayed and wished for? It's just hard after being on the same post for years, and then someone new pops on and says 'this is what I did, and it worked the first or tenth time!!' It just sucks when you've been trying longer than 1 or 10 times.

I also agree with the others in that sometimes you feel like seeing it and other times you don't, but our bodies and our hormones determine what we want to see and what we don't, and when you (general) go to a thread and are completely surprised when you think all the posts will be related to what we want to hear, it throws you for a loop.

Long story short, I completely get it and I understand. It'll be nice when we can ALL go to the other side and we don't even recognize the names in the TTC side. What a joy that will be. Have a great night all.

 

[Kat S]

Terripeachy, thank you very much! Yes, what we are strong enough to hear one day we may not be strong enough to hear another. Many threads on here do not allow BFP announcements, or they ask them to be put under a cut because they can really upset someone not in the right frame of mind. I admit it's easier for me to hear a BFP announcement from someone I've been talking to and supporting for weeks or months. I've become invested in the journeys of the ladies on this board after getting to know each other. I look forward to seeing their BFPs in the future. I hope it's soon for all of us!

 

[Kat S]

 

[Pussycat1]

Kat, hope you're doing ok. Just want you to know I was thinking of you yesterday. xx

 

[Kat S]

Thanks, Pussycat1! Yesterday ended up being a really distracting day. It snowed a foot and my husband stayed home. So we spent the day looking out the window as the inches piled up. Friend of mine said maybe all that pure white snow is a way of putting a period on the end of what happened, and giving me a fresh, white start. I don't know what I think of that, but it's a nice thought.

 

[bash73]

UPDATE....estrogen and progesterone were checked today for the first time in the last 4 cycles w/the FS mid cycle (CD13 and 4dpiui) and estrogen is in the 1400's and progesterone is 24 and they like it over 12 so the GREAT news is no icky crinone aka progesterone suppository supplement WOOOOHOOOO....now if only we can get a BFP....I really am trying to stay distracted and not think about and thought I was calmer than usual but today I was flying off the handle at "okey dokey" people as a nice woman described it to me aka people who don't have a clue as to what they are doing. Off to bed, another long day tomorrow. Where is everyone in their cycle?

 

[Pussycat1]

Bash, that's great news! Fingers crossed this is your cycle! I love the term okeydokey people! I'm surrounded by them at the moment so whenever any of them get 'superdokey' you'll make me smile.
Kat, your friends words are lovely. A clean fresh start, of course that doesn't mean you forget what has gone before, just look forward positively.
Not great news for me I'm afraid. AF finally showed up on day 40 (?!?!?) so I started taking the HRT. Then later that day I got a message from my coordinator to say my donor wanted to delay treatment until she'd spoken further with the Dr about her raised NK cells and may decide not to proceed at all. I am truly gutted. It feels like I had the winning ticket then a big gust of wind came along and whipped it from my hands. Managed to hold it together at work but cried the whole way home (on the bus, I know what a muppet!). My donor has her dr appointment first week in Feb and hopefully will make a decision shortly after. Part of me sympathises with her and part of me is really cross for getting my hopes up and saying she'd do this. I get the impression my coordinator is pretty embarrassed about the situation. There's a chance she'll still proceed but I'm not holding out hope. In the mean time I'm going to carry on with my dummy cycle to see how I respond to the meds, at least I'll then be ready if she says yes or if another donor turns up. I guess Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, they really are ....Back to the waiting game. x

 

[bash73]

Pussycat keep your chin up... and don't hate me for these words but whatever is meant to be is meant to be. We have no control over this and me being a control freak, it kills be but I'm learning that I can't control this and have to deal the cards I'm dealt with (easier said than done).
Still freezing in NY and as if I don't have enough on my plate I'm taking on more work but I see it as the cards being dealt for whatever reason that is. Have a great Thursday it's almost the weekend again!

 

[Emmi]

Thanks, Pussycat1! Yesterday ended up being a really distracting day. It snowed a foot and my husband stayed home. So we spent the day looking out the window as the inches piled up. Friend of mine said maybe all that pure white snow is a way of putting a period on the end of what happened, and giving me a fresh, white start. I don't know what I think of that, but it's a nice thought.

It was lovely that you were not alone Kat and at least you were with hubby. Big hugs to you Kat xxx

 

[Emmi]

Bash, that's great news! Fingers crossed this is your cycle! I love the term okeydokey people! I'm surrounded by them at the moment so whenever any of them get 'superdokey' you'll make me smile.
Kat, your friends words are lovely. A clean fresh start, of course that doesn't mean you forget what has gone before, just look forward positively.
Not great news for me I'm afraid. AF finally showed up on day 40 (?!?!?) so I started taking the HRT. Then later that day I got a message from my coordinator to say my donor wanted to delay treatment until she'd spoken further with the Dr about her raised NK cells and may decide not to proceed at all. I am truly gutted. It feels like I had the winning ticket then a big gust of wind came along and whipped it from my hands. Managed to hold it together at work but cried the whole way home (on the bus, I know what a muppet!). My donor has her dr appointment first week in Feb and hopefully will make a decision shortly after. Part of me sympathises with her and part of me is really cross for getting my hopes up and saying she'd do this. I get the impression my coordinator is pretty embarrassed about the situation. There's a chance she'll still proceed but I'm not holding out hope. In the mean time I'm going to carry on with my dummy cycle to see how I respond to the meds, at least I'll then be ready if she says yes or if another donor turns up. I guess Sometimes when things seem too good to be true, they really are ....Back to the waiting game. x

Sorry to hear that Pussycat - how so very upsetting for you. So many emotions and its so hard to ride the roller coaster. Words fail me as I just know how tough it all is. I really really hope that you get the positive news that you deserve. x

 

[Emmi]

So for my birthday which is on Saturday - what did I get - the witch AF!!!! Honestly - I am sooooo tired of having such high hopes just to be dashed - I am exhausted by it.

So - on Saturday - I will be eating and drinking whatever I want! I am so tired of being careful but for one day - I shall indulge in anything and everything!!!

xxx