40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Kat S]

OH Bash, how upsetting!! Well, you are getting your mass removed in just a few days, and maybe that's all you need to get you body back into sync again. I hope so!!!

 

[Emmi]

Emmi, trust me Kat is right! Ur not alone. My OH is a lovely guy too. And after I had my HSG and it was VERY painful & traumatic, he was sympathetic & happy to have me order him around getting me cups of tea & hot water bottle etc while I lay on the couch with cramping.... But then he said 'is it ok if I go see Aaron's band play tonite? It won't be a late nite & ur not feeling good so ur just gonna be resting on the couch- ill b back by 11pm'.... At first I was gonna have a go at him.. Then I realised! Men just have different brains to us! They are very logical, rational & at times completely unemotional in how they look at things & make decisions. He didn't think it should be a big deal if he went out for a few hours.. And really it didn't matter.. But if the roles were reversed- no way I'd have gone out to see a band with him lying on the couch feeling sorry for himself.

I also think guys sometimes are a bit more optimistic, they have that attitude of 'its all gonna be ok, so don't go getting all stressed out before you actually have any answers'. Infact I wish I was that way inclined to look at things.

To be honest, it's my OH optimism and unfaltering assumption that we'll be parents eventually that is what's getting my hopes & spirits up. I don't ever want him to lose that positive perspective bcos I need it to keep me going.

But also Emmi, if u really are feeling down, or scared, you maybe should come straight out and tell ur hubby. Sometimes men as nice as they may be, can also be dense & hopeless at picking up cues that women spot from a mile away! He maybe just doesn't realise how ur feeling.

And if all else fails, that's wot all these amazing girls in here are for! ; )

Agree that we just think totally differently but I do tell him I feel and he does listen but then he just gets on with it and carries on with life which I guess is what you have to do. But as you say - hubby is also convinced we will be parents and constantly says that. On bad days - I wail how do you know that? But at other times, it's a very comforting mantra.

Hope that it all ends in something amazing for us all!!!

 

[Emmi]

So I haven't O'd and not sure why. Last cycle (which was my first after metho shot) I did. Very frustrating. It doesn't matter at the moment since I'm having the surgery on Tuesday but what's going on w/my body??? I can't seem to lose any weight either. My blood work was immaculate so it has to be that I'm eating wayyyyyy too many calories. I'm a personal trainer and I'm def exercising enough. That will come to a screaching halt Tuesday for at least 2 weeks. I hate buying clothes in a bigger size!!!

Really hope that the surgery may calm your body down a little - it really must be going through it at the moment. I am trying to lose weight but I think my body is just so anxious about the whole fertility thing. I eat well and exercise but I just feel like a coiled spring.

You take care

 

[bash73]

so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.

 

[Kat S]

so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.

Oh wow...*hugs* Thank god you have a good new doctor taking care of you. Do you know how soon after your recovery you can start trying again? And is your right tube ok?

 

[Emmi]

so the "mass" was the pregnancy in my right tube which was taken out during the surgery. I have 4-6 weeks of recovery. Can't drive for a week, sutures out in 2 weeks but this doctor was wonderful.

At least you have a great doctor which really makes it all bearable/ Healing hugs to you.

 

[Emmi]

I had my pretreatment and antral follicle scan on Tuesday and I have 5 follicles on either side which they tell me is normal, I don't have a clue what they are looking for but it's all about quality rather than quantity.

So - all going well, I start my injections on 14th August for IVF......Praying that everything will be okay.....

 

[Kat S]

Emmi glad you have a lot of follicles!! You have quite the new Two Week Wait now, eh?

 

[Emmi]

Emmi glad you have a lot of follicles!! You have quite the new Two Week Wait now, eh?

Ha - yes!!! Everything seems to be in '2 weeks' time'!!! You get to learn to be so patient through the whole process!

 

[bash73]

Right tube is gone, it had to be taken. But the Doc said the left tube seems to be ok. He pushed some fluid thru it during the surgery but couldn't fully do it cuz of the work on the right side. I was totally against IVF due to our religion but I'm open to anything now. No clue when we can try again, i'm presuming in 4-6 weeks. That's how long til I can exercise or lift anything. I have a f/u appt w/Jr. to remove the sutures in 2 weeks and then i see his dad end of the month for my f/u of the 14 blood tests LOL. Had a meltdown today but I'm sure it's par for the course. Things will get better.

 

[Kat S]

Bash, I'm so so sorry you lost your right tube I can only imagine how angry and frustrated you are. Take your time working through that. It's yet another setback and it's normal to need to process. I hope IVF is a viable option for you...I think it is!! *hug*

 

[Emmi]

Right tube is gone, it had to be taken. But the Doc said the left tube seems to be ok. He pushed some fluid thru it during the surgery but couldn't fully do it cuz of the work on the right side. I was totally against IVF due to our religion but I'm open to anything now. No clue when we can try again, i'm presuming in 4-6 weeks. That's how long til I can exercise or lift anything. I have a f/u appt w/Jr. to remove the sutures in 2 weeks and then i see his dad end of the month for my f/u of the 14 blood tests LOL. Had a meltdown today but I'm sure it's par for the course. Things will get better.

Oh so sorry to hear that.

I think being open to anything is a really positive thing, limiting yourself when there are already limitations is just too hard.

Of course you would have a meltdown - so much to deal with. Look after yourself.

 

[Juniperjules]

Oh Bash, am sorry to hear that. Must've been a shock. I never used to think I'd do IVF either... But now, well I'd probation sell a kidney to have a baby of my own! Life changes & u have to change with it I think. Never say never is my motto these days.

 

[nolansmom]

Hello ladies. Just thread stalking and wanted to wish you all lots and lots of baby dust.. Hoping for BFP's your way..

 

[Emmi]

Hello ladies. Just thread stalking and wanted to wish you all lots and lots of baby dust.. Hoping for BFP's your way..

Thank you!!

 

[Pussycat1]

Hello ladies, mind if I join? My story is pretty much in my signature, only thing to add is recent fertility tests showed my AMH levels have plummeted over the past year and now only 1.9 (were 10.9 May 2012), guess I'm getting old I've been having a break for the past 4 months but taken DHEA for 3 of them (stopped at the end of June) and will have one last attempt at ICSI this month using my own eggs and DH's swimmers. All my hopes are pinned on this. My cycle is erratic and seems to be getting longer as I get older (another not so great sign) so expecting AF next week (day 34) then start the merry-go-round of injections and lunchtime dashes to the clinic for scans.
Wishing you all so much luck, I don't think anyone can understand how this feels unless you're 'here' so it's good to know there are people out there that understand.

 

[bash73]

Welcome Pussycat! Sorry that you are joining our board, but it's a great one!!!! Chin up and lots of babydust coming your way!

I'm getting anxious now. All I do is sleep, eat and nap. Still having vertigo spells from the anesthesia so dramamine is my best friend. Looking forward to seeing the doctor in 10 days for suture removal and i so badly want the green light to try again. Just to have a "normal" life. I'm hoping Jr. doc will have my test results that are for his dad to give me some inkling on what to do.

 

[Jax41]

Great thread Kat S! Girls, mind if I join you too as I relate to everything you have written

A little about me, I'm 43 been TTC for 3yrs I have no children and no BFP to my name (how did that happen? ) DH is 50, he has 3 children from first time round, 1 grandchild and another due in October.... We have both been tested, I've seen a great gynea chap who has confirmed I ov, I have no blocked tubes or other problems etc after he scanned me and I've been on 50mg of clomid for the past 6 cycles...DH has low to good sperm count (depending on how the little swimmers feel, each test seems to come back different!) and although the my gynea man has prescribed a further 3 cycles of clomid he won't increase the mg as he says my levels are good for my age but really under the NHS there is nothing more he can do... So we keep trying...

But yea, although we have other lovely friends on the threads, I don't think anyone but us truly gets how bad it makes you feel facing a possible childless future, it's hard but I'm grateful to have found you so that we can love and support each other.

Take care lovely girls and I wish you love and luck for our dreams to come true xXx

 

[Emmi]

Hi Jax - you are very similar to me in your story except hubby has had no previous children from previous relationships.

I worked really well on clomid but my hubby's swimmers were all over the place and as we get older - well....the harder it is. So alas - we had no choice but to leave the NHS and go private.

My hubby - under my orders!! - has stopped drinking, started eating properly (cutting all the junk out) and is now taking suppliments. Well - his swimmers have improved big time so it really is worth looking at your DH lifestyle in general.

x

 

[Kat S]

Emmi, what suppliments is he taking?

WELCOME to all the new members. While I'm sorry you are here (don't have your baby yet), at least we're still trying! My mantra: "Maybe not this month...but soon!!" Eventually I'll drop a viable egg. It's gotta show up one of these cycles!