40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Jean40]

Ok, strange and vivid dreams! In one, we were doing IVF on a golden retriever. Yeah.

 

[Vonn]

Hi beautiful 40+ lady-friends!

Lastchances and Clizard--I'd love to see a sort-of-surprise bfp from you two! Welcome, Lastchances, glad to have you here.

Pussycat--when are you going to put up the bfp under cycle 9 and "pregnant (expecting)" under your name? It's real and I can't wait for you to shout it out!! Rainshiny on another thread had two donor embryos transferred and just found out it's twins. Looking forward to finding out what you have snuggling in in there.

Weezy--you are totally right that you are not alone in really struggling emotionally with infertility. I think failed IVF cycles are even more devastating because of all the time, effort (and sometimes $$) that go into them--there's just an even higher expectation of success, so to not have success is especially hard. I read somewhere that the stress of infertility is similar to the stress felt by those suffering from cancer. That is serious! So, while you are not alone, that doesn't mean you (or anyone else) couldn't benefit from some counseling. It can just be really cathartic to unload all your thoughts, fears, anxieties to an outsider trained to listen, be supportive, and provide coping tips. Our DHs (whether they are supportive or not) don't get what we are going through and I know I sometimes censor what I tell mine because I feel like he doesn't need/want to know the level of crazy going on in my head about this.

Terri--You are such a pillar of support and positivity for everyone on B&B. I'm so sorry to hear your DH is not really engaged. Yes, he'd like the same outcome as you, but it's not fair for him not to be a part of the work and the struggle that it takes to get there. I'm sure you feel like that's just who he is, quiet and not so communicative, but you may get to the point where he needs to extend himself a little and reach out about this, if only so you pop him on the head with a frying pan one day. Ha!

As the other ladies have said, I, too, have done the majority of the work in this ttc process. It would be amazing to me to read about some woman with a DH who spends hours doing research and learning about immune issues, the best supplements out there, the benefit of acupuncture, etc!! Give that man (if he exists) a gold medal!

Jean--vivid dreams are a good sign!

AFM--Clizard, yes I mentioned on another thread that the last two days I have had a weird pain off and on in my right breast. So hard to explain. I called it stabby, but plucking a guitar string works too. I haven't felt it yet today, but I sort of hope I do since I read about other ladies (and you) having this when pg. I have my blood test a week from Monday, so I am only halfway through the tww. Argh...

 

[Lastchances]

Thanks Clizard & Weezy.

BFN today but still no period. CD 32. I didn't use FMU but had slept like 4 hours since I'd last used the bathroom. Mine is probably never truly concentrated, the way I deink water. Figured I'd give it a shot. Cheapo tests anyway. I had an ultra-weird very light bleeding thing that was nothing like a period for me in any way, happen 6 days or so after ovulation (and a whole lot of unprotected sex), and now just... nothing. If I hear the words, "well you've never been 41 before" one more time... grrr. Lol. My bf really thought it was either pregnancy or...had been. But for such an early miscarriage/CP, I would think it would have to register HCG on a test and also probably would barely be noticeable, bleeding-wise. I would only have conceived the extended weekend after my bday, having had sex on May 21-25th and probably ovulated just after. (I felt the familiar left side twinges the 26th & 27th.) I don't understand any of it. And the timing was just all too weird to be so unrelated. But...BFNs it still is. Dollar Tree ones, but still, I've read they're actually surprisingly good.

 

[Pussycat1]

Last chances, sorry to heR that. I think when you go through all these processes your body does weird things anyway. Since I first started medicated cycles nothing has been 'normal' and I don't know if that's because I'm getting older and would have happened anyway or if it's the meds. The whole process is horrible. Stay strong. x
Terri / Weezy / Vonn, if our other halfs had to go through this I reckon the world population would pretty soon start to drop!
Vonn / Clizzard / Jean I'd do love to see you all get your BFP (in fact everyone in the thread).
I've been to my GP and they said if the HPT said positive then I was pregnant! They've referred me to midwife and obstetrician and apparently they will see me at 8-10 weeks rather than waiting for 12 weeks (I guess due to age and the journey it's been to get here). I'll be very happy with that as it should be before I go on holiday with my entire family (parents, siblings their partners and all theirs children). I can't wait to be able to tell them, I just keep everything crossed I get that far. I'm 5 weeks now so another few weeks, if it's a wk 10 appointment I'll probably book a private scan, I need the reassurance. x

 

[Lastchances]

Thanks Vonn. Guess we'll see. I've started making jokes about my "decrepit eggs" and I'm not even actually trying...i think. Lol. It's entirely possible I may be losing my mind.
That's really just more my bizarre tension reducing humor than negativity btw. My BF laughs. He, unlike my mother, doesn't buy that. Nor do I. I told my bf last night it really would be a bit of a disaster if I was pregnant or got that way, and he just responded that "we'll make the best of it." And some other quick stuff about life changes/decisions. I think he's a bit torn too and probably wouldn't hate it...to say the least. Of course, now I have no real idea what my cycles are doing as of this month suddenly, so i can't try to time things for safety, or pregnancy anymore. No idea where AF is hiding. This is so weird for me.

 

[Lastchances]

Hope everything's good at your next appt! So exciting!

Last chances, sorry to heR that. I think when you go through all these processes your body does weird things anyway. Since I first started medicated cycles nothing has been 'normal' and I don't know if that's because I'm getting older and would have happened anyway or if it's the meds. The whole process is horrible. Stay strong. x
Terri / Weezy / Vonn, if our other halfs had to go through this I reckon the world population would pretty soon start to drop!
Vonn / Clizzard / Jean I'd do love to see you all get your BFP (in fact everyone in the thread).
I've been to my GP and they said if the HPT said positive then I was pregnant! They've referred me to midwife and obstetrician and apparently they will see me at 8-10 weeks rather than waiting for 12 weeks (I guess due to age and the journey it's been to get here). I'll be very happy with that as it should be before I go on holiday with my entire family (parents, siblings their partners and all theirs children). I can't wait to be able to tell them, I just keep everything crossed I get that far. I'm 5 weeks now so another few weeks, if it's a wk 10 appointment I'll probably book a private scan, I need the reassurance. x

 

[terripeachy]

Have you tried temping or using OPKs, Lastchances? At least that way you can SEE something going on. And then you also have an idea as to when AF should be here. You could have anovulatory cycles and then you're pretty much waiting for AF but have no idea because you think you ovulated. I just hate not knowing what's going on, so I temp, but it can become obsessive.

 

[Lastchances]

I didn't need any of that because I was regular and could feel my ovulation. Everything had normal. May 15th definite AF. Then my extended bday weekend we were quite naughty the 21st-25th. Every day. I felt Left side OV pain on the 26th & 27th. About a week later i started spotting like I never ever have. Ranging from very light (mostly when I wiped or a smidge in a liner) blood to transparent barely there color. It lastef for 8 days to varyinh degrees then stopped. AF was due June 10th. Now, for the first time I have NO idea what's going on. I may wait and see and maybe employ other methods later. I read temping was actually a bit useless though since when you detect that slight change your fertile window's kinda past or close to it. That surprised me. I think it was parenting.com! Of course... checking isn't exactly "mutual plausible deniability: anymore. That's more like premeditation! lol

 

[Lastchances]

My periods are like a scene out of Dexter so nothing...not timimg, consistency, appearance, duration, pattern etc. Fit AF when I had that spotting. Of course like an idiot i thought it could be some sort of IB. My bf really believed it was pregnancy related as well. And such a late AF (I'm never this late) isn't helping. Crazy.

 

[Jean40]

I got my progesterone done this morning, on the high end of normal for luteal phase. RE message said it indicates a good, strong ovulation. Now we wait some more...

 

[Lastchances]

Did your gynecologist just run that test? Is it a big deal to get them to check when you're older? I might be curious about that stuff, but don't really want to make a big deal of things or push

 

[terripeachy]

Did your gynecologist just run that test? Is it a big deal to get them to check when you're older? I might be curious about that stuff, but don't really want to make a big deal of things or push

Then you're on the wrong site, sister! just kidding. My gynecologist was willing to do a few extra things for me when I told her I wanted to have a baby. You can always ask and see what she says. I'm telling you, the more you know, the better off you are, but to each their own.

Jean-for some reason I already thought you were in your IUI tww. Maybe I'm mistaken.

 

[Jean40]

I am in the TWW, just over halfway through.

My GYN wouldn't run any hormone blood tests for me, she just referred me to the RE. Would've been very helpful & saved me one 4 hour roundtrip to the RE after I had the day 3 bloods drawn plus the cost of the visit if she had. I asked multiple times, too. Some GYNs are willing, some aren't.

 

[Weezy9]

Hello lovely ladies
vonn, Jean fingers cross on your tww hope it is time for both of you.

Ladies, thank you very much for all your kind words. It means so much to me that when I'm feeling blue that I could go on here and have the support. Funny how people millions of miles away can make you feel so much better and those that are close to you can be oblivious to your emotions.

Vonn, thank for your support, I suppose you're right about the counselling. I've booked myself in for tomorrow. Think I'm going to drown the counsellor with tears

Terri, I'm sorry your DH lack of support. When I ask my DH for support and he just turns his attention to games, i say to him, if he's the one whose got to do these daily injections, tests, meds, would he still be on that computer game....no good just saying I want a child.

Though, yesterday I may have come across a miracle. I was on a fertility friend thread and a man posted on there on behalf of his wife (yes the had a male name) and he was asking all the ladies about implantation etc as his wife just had a failed cycle. So I think the gold medal goes to him.

Pussycat, thanks for all the info. I'm looking into it. I think I will probably stay in the UK for this cycle and move onto options abroad later on if I'm unlucky. I think I'm going to bite the bullet and do my immunes, then it's another thing ticked off. Would you mind me pm you when I get to that stage where I need to do if abroad?

I went to my initial consultation at my second clinic. They are keen to do a monitoring cycle first to see what protocol they would put me on, so I will probably do that in 2 weeks time when AF comes. I'm still undecided about switching clinic but I've got 2 weeks to research and decide.

Just a quick question, how does everyone feel about switching clinic after just one failed cycle? I'm not sure as my currant clinic knows my history and I think maybe give it another go, but the new one has better success rate and monitor you much more closely and change stimm meds accordingly (the new one was recommended to me by a friend who had twins there at 40 - first cycle)?????

 

[Lastchances]

On a board while I was reading up about potential implantation bleeding vs. Other causes etc. I saw a really cute post a guy had made. He and his wife had both been concerned about some strange occurrences since I think they were TTC and I thought it was really sweet that he was the one posting. He was asking for any similar stories that turned out well for comfort.

 

[Lastchances]

Actually it was pretty obvious my guy had done quite a lot of reading too with my whole weird situation because we'd talk and he'd bring up all sorts of things I'd also read. I have to say, I found that kind of adorable. I like that he likes to know things. Of all sorts.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hey Ladies
How's everyone doing? I'm ok, just waiting (yes more waiting!), to hear when I have my first obstetrician appointment and hopefully an 8 week scan. Not really got any symptoms so trying to stay level headed about the whole thing.
Weezy, by all means PM me, happy to share whatever I have discovered! As for changing clinics, I stuck with our UK one for longer than I should have, thinking moving would just delay things or mean we had to start at the beginning again. There is an element of truth to the way they tweet each cycles meds etc as it really is a learning curve, though to be honest half the time I think the whole thing is a bit of an experiment as there's so little research. If you are unhappy with your clinic (for whatever reason) then I'd change, after all you're paying for their services. xx

 

[Vonn]

Weezy--if it doesn't feel right, switch! One cycle is a lot of interactions/visits. It's not like you've only been there once. I have fired Drs after one visit, though, so no shame in that, either. Look out for #1, girl!

Pussycat--can't wait for your first scan to find out just what you have in there!

Lastchances--did AF end up coming?

Jean, Terri, Clizard...hi!

AFM--got my blood test on Monday so not long. Not really feeling anything, so I have a feeling what the results are gonna be. I'm definitely open to being proven wrong, though!

 

[Lastchances]

Yeah, AF showed her ugly face as of about 2am this morning. CD 36. Now CD1. Started out seeming like it was more of the same but I'd say it's a given now. None of this was remotely like me in any way. If one more person says, "but you've never beem 41 before." Grrrr. Llol

 

[Pussycat1]

Last chance, sorry to hear AF showed.
Vonn, best of luck on Monday, I know how hard it is in your position, each time I've felt the same, only this time the result was different so you never know .... x