40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Jean40]

BFN this morning, but tomorrow is FRER day (oh, and Father's Day, almost forgot, lol). I kept checking to see if my loan had come through, then I got an email stating they were closing it out with no further information! Then I finally had 10 minutes to CALL (since our representatives were NOT showing up at work like they used to), had to go through the whole automated system, told me to try voice recognition, got halfway through it and it wanted my PIN number, um, what PIN number? Hung up, called again, finally got hold of a LIVE PERSON who got the loan process started AGAIN. This was THEIR fault, they did NOT email or mail me the actual loan papers I needed to sign the first time, but they did the second time. I faxed those out Friday morning and we'll see how long it takes (I was told 3-5 business days once it's approved, but it's my own money I've saved & am taking a loan against, so I think I have it). This is cutting it pretty darn close if this cycle didn't work! I had to put my Bravelle & trigger shot on my credit cards & maxed those out, sperm processing on AmEx to pay off in 3 weeks, and used up all my Health Savings Account money on the ultrasounds & actual IUI (minus $10 I had to pay out of my wallet). So yeah, if I am to proceed any further, I NEED this loan! Most people talk about the emotional toll of fertility treatment, but the financial toll is my greatest stress! I HAD the money saved up until I had to pay for allergy testing & hospital ultrasound from late last year out of it, ECHO, MRI, and EKG from it JUST for the cardiology clearance, too, so there went all that money I saved up. Drives me nuts! I'm blessed that I was able to take advantage of a wellness program at work the last couple of years where I got $1600 (you can earn up to $800 per year) for maxing out the education & wellness stuff they wanted for the program. That is the cost of my ECHO. Ok, now I'm going to stop blabbing.

 

[Lastchances]

Thanks Pussycat. I suppose it really is for the best due to circumstances, but I'm still really ambivalent about it. If this is meant to happen, it would have to be by totally natural means, and obviously before too terribly long. There isn't time to sort out life's current messes and say "well maybe someday." To do everything in a way everyone would approve of.

This was a decent "scare" for weeks for us. He still really feels like maybe something did happen, but didn't quite go anywhere. It'll be interesting to see if this changes things going forward. So far, it doesn't seem so. So who knows what may come of it. If my cycles are suddenly irregular now, it would make "safe-r" timing very difficult anyway. Problem is, that also makes trying to time for a girl almost impossible. Thankfully, the odds for both our ages are very high for that anyway. He also seems to mostly make girls. lol

 

[Jean40]

Ugh, spotting.

 

[Lastchances]

Ugh, spotting.

Ugh...maybe it's only that though. I know that does happen. Fingers crossed. And if not this cycle, I hope you can at least get the financial stuff sorted out so you can have another shot. Try to stay sane in the meantime. I know that's certainly far easier said than done.

 

[Jean40]

BFN on Dollar Tree test this morning (I won't waste a FRER after spotting starts) & then shows up. I guess I'm onto IUI #4 but will be discussing DE if this next one doesn't work. By then, my coworker will be back from maternity leave & things might be better for me to take off. Oh, and I'm hoping the loan will be here & I get the financial stuff sorted out.

 

[terripeachy]

Sorry to hear Jean. hopefully the loan will come through and everything will be settled by next month.

 

[Pussycat1]

Jean, so sorry to hear that. Do you think it's worth considering IVF rather than IUI, or is that a financial issue? So bloody unfair. x

 

[Jean40]

Oh, I won't do IVF, I will do FET with donor embryos. After looking into my particular health issues, anything that could cause OHSS can greatly increase my chance of heart failure, plus with my age I doubt my eggs are any good now. I don't care if I use my own eggs, I'd rather eliminate the horrible health problems from my side of the family.

 

[Vonn]

Sorry to hear AF showed, Jean. Bummer!

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing?
Weezy, how was your session with the counsellor? Did you find it useful or even cathartic? I hope it's helped you make done decisions.
Vonn, I see your signature has changed to BFN? I'm really sorry it hasn't worked for you hon, what now or is it too soon to say?
AFM, a very difficult day today, SIL funeral. So tragic and everyone had the same beautiful thoughts of her. DH stood up and said a few words which were lovely, very proud of him. x

 

[terripeachy]

Pussycat. I'm sure it was a really hard day, but it's good that she had a lot of friends and was really loved. Can't ask for much more at a funeral.

Vonn-sorry again, pretty. You'll know what to do in good time.

I'm ready to make a baby on vacation. Talk soon!!

 

[Vonn]

Pussycat--what a sad day, lots of tears shed, I'm sure. It's so much harder when a life is cut short. So glad people were able to share beautiful, comforting memories. Your happy, happy news will be so celebrated by your family when you share it! That will be a wonderful day!

Terri--have an amazing, baby-making vacation! Are you going to an all-inclusive resort? Safe travels and enjoy!!

AFM--yes, this cycle didn't work.... On to IUI #5. I left a note for my doc that I wanted to be more aggressive in trying to get multiple mature follicles. I had a vmail from a nurse saying that the doc will have me on menopur and follistim this month. Of course, she also had to mention that since my AMH is so low, I just may not be able to stim. Uggghhhh, it's just constant bad news from that place. I haven't totally lost hope, though. I do think I have at least one good egg in there, it's just a matter of catching it! I have two IUIs left that are covered by insurance. Once they are done, there will be tough decisions to make.

 

[Jean40]

I got my day 3 ultrasound today, no cysts. I am waiting on the money to see if we do this cycle or not. I had already gotten a refill of the clomid last cycle then we switched to Femara, so I didn't have to go get a new Rx filled tonight and am starting it tonight in hopes the money works out. So, we are going back to 100mg clomid days 3-7 and 2 vials of Bravelle days 7-9, mid cycle ultrasound (RE wants it on day 11 but we can't get the time I need in between another doctor's appointment that morning & where I need to be later that afternoon, so it will be the next morning, day 12, again). If the money doesn't work out, then we do it next month (and I got another Rx for the clomid, it's only $18 at Walmart).

 

[Weezy9]

Hello Everyone
Vonn, Jean - Sorry to hear BFN. Fx for your Next IUI.
Jean, Have you thought about mild/Mini IVF? They use Milder drugs and stim for less days in the hope of getting just 1 or 2 good follies. Will that suit you for your health condition? It's quite popular with the 40+.

Terri- have a wonderful time on your vacation...Where are you off to?

Pussycat - I'm sorry about you SIL funeral...it must be a very hard day for you and your family.

Went to the counsellor and she was really good. I felt much better with coping with set backs and about making decisions. She wanted to see me for another 3 sessions. Think she want to work with me in de-stressing.
Also went to see a nutritionist which was also good as she's given me a diet plan (plus lots of supplements) as an intense course to improve my egg quality and DH Sperm before our next IVF. I thought it was going to be difficult and boring, but it isn't really (note. this is just my 4th day at it, wait what I'll say in 4 weeks time hee hee). We'll give it a go, if it works, great, but if not, at least it'll improve our general health.

Got my NHS appointment through for my laparoscopy through so I'll be having that in about 2 weeks time + removing a couple of polyps. Pretty scary for me but I see lots of ladies have gone for a laparoscopy so I should be fine
The nutritionist suggest I get all those out of the way before another IVF attempt and asked me to maybe go through private health insurance. Now, it's here, it's saved me the bother of having to chase and write letters etc.

 

[terripeachy]

I'm going to Mexico!! Near cancun. We're at he airport now.

Weezy-glad all went well with the counselor and nutritionist. At least you'll get your mind and body in order and that's helpful anytime. Good for you for following through.

Have a great weekend ladies!

 

[Pussycat1]

Terri, have an amazing holiday! xx

 

[kaysbc]

Hello everyone.
I haven't popped by in a really long time but hope to come back regularly again. I could really use the support and you have always been so wonderful.

I've read back from page 176 which is where I think I left off. There is so much been going on! My apologies for not writing a personal note out to each of you, but as a group you all have my very best wishes. Your heartaching stories and all the hard work you are doing is tremendous. Welcome to the new ladies, you will love this thread -everyone is so supportive and loving.
I am having heart palpitations over pussycat's bfp! OMG congratulations!

My cycles have been so totally F'd up for a long time now. Bleeding every 2-3 weeks, no sign of ovulation. I believe this is a result of the cortisone shots I've been getting in my shoulder. I've been having a terrible time with this shoulder-healing process, and until today thought I would need another surgery. But just today I found out I don't, so I am breathing a sigh of relief.
I hope to get back on a positive TTC path, get my cycle to "normalize".

My acupuncturist has me taking a whole series of new herb supplements to try to re-balance me. I've asked my RE doc for a new panel of hormone testing. My last (and only) hormone tests were 2 years ago. I want to see where I"m at.

Last fall I had a huge freak-out when I found out my next-door-neighbor was pregnant. We've all had those days... when hearing about someone else's "easy" BFP that you just want to die. Well my neighbor just had her baby, a beautiful girl. It has put me in the dumps, and has sort of brought this timeline to the forefront, about how long its been and how long I've been trying, and how little progress I've made since hearing her pregnancy announcement. All I can do sometimes is let out a hugh sigh.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi Kay, welcome back it's great to hear from you again. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a tough time since your accident, gosh this journey is hard enough for all of us without throwing that sort of thing into the mix. I really hope things settle down for you know and you can move on and focus on TTC. Great news that you won't need another operation, are you also done with the cortisone shots? Having all your hormone testing done again sounds like a really sensible thing to do so that you can face this next attempt fully armed with the best approach. I've got everything crossed for you hon!
Weezy, I'm so glad you found your session with the counsellor useful, sometimes just talking out loud to an impartial listener can make all the difference and clarify things for us. I hope you can make some decisions about your next steps. xx

 

[Jean40]

Loan was in my bank account this morning (along with my paycheck). I saw the balance & about jumped out of my chair! First thing, I paid off 2 of 3 credit cards this morning. Will pay the third one later tonight. Then will pay outstanding medical bills at the university hospital.

 

[Lastchances]

Glad you got it Jean!