40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Jean40]

OMG pussycat! That is amazing. And shocking. Wow.

Tonight, I just held the needle there a few minutes & just stuck it in, no muss, no fuss. I think once I'm used to it, then I'm ok, but after a month of not doing it and raging hormones, I have to get used to it again.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies
Jean, it will soon be second nature to stick a needle in! Always nerve wracking at first. DH hates anything to do with needles so I have to do all my own even the PIO which involves some contorting! TBH I'm happy with that, at least I can feel what I'm doing.
Vonn, hope those follies are growing! It's so difficult to try and maintain a 'normal' relationship when you're going through all of this, we've said it all before but sometimes guys just don't get it and to be fair I'm not sure how they could fully understand it. I don't think anyone can till they've done it.
Lastchance, I agree, there's so much emotion in what you're saying and I'm glad you're able to tell us and try and sort it out in your head. Even if you both feel the same, it is again somehow different for us girls as there is a definite clock ticking and decisions are just so final. Also the fact that he has children already. I hope you can come to some conclusion and in the mean time we're here.
Hope everyone else is ok?
Vonn, you asked about how I've come to have three: 2 transferred, both implanted and one has split to form twins. As they share a gestational sack they are identical (so will be same sex), question is do they share the same amniotic fluid which is pretty rare (I think less than 1% of twins), that can be complicated as they havectheircown umbilical cords and they risk getting tangled up. Hopefully they will see next week and there will he 2 amniotic sacs. Still scared about the future, what have we done? ....

 

[Clizard]

Oh man. This is exciting Pussycat!

 

[Weezy9]

omg omg OMG!!! Pussycat, that's amazing!! Absolutely amazing!!
I'm not surprised you're in shock, so am I...in a good way : )
What do you mean "What have you done?" you've done good lady : )
I've got my fingers cross for you that everything is fine and you have a straight forward pregnancy. You really got to stay now and keep us posted on everything : )

 

[terripeachy]

You really got to stay now and keep us posted on everything : )

Ditto...you have no choice now, mama! hee hee.

 

[Vonn]

Pussycat--did your dr say what the chances are of this happening? It has to be so incredibly rare. It really is almost unbelievable! Have you and DH told anyone in the real world yet? I know you are anxious about this, but you have been through so much to get here, so for you to now have three babies growing inside of you really seems miraculous! At least try to revel in the miracle of it...after so many disappointments to now have an abundance of little beans snuggling in just brings a smile to my face. However many babies you take home in the end, you will be overjoyed and frazzled. But you and DH can absolutely handle it. You have not done something you can't handle!

Hope everyone else is doing well!

AFM--had my day 7 scan and WEIRD results. Still have the four follies, but they haven't really grown yet. What?! Last cycle on follistim only, I had an 18 on day 7 and triggered that night. And this cycle, no growth? I hope that means all four are about to pop and I will get multiple follies to mature and give me better odds. But I've also read that some never get their follies to grow. Time will tell. The dr upped my menopur dose and I continue both and go back in on Thursday.

 

[Lastchances]

Thank you for the support and kind words. I can't say exactly that it's a "NTNP" situation, however that's what it amounts to when 2 (informed, 40+) people don't bother using protection over and over, imo. Even after thinking I might have been last month! I'd be happy to just skip it from now on. It just sounded like he thought we ought to be at times the other night. However that was a week or so after him knowing full well AF had visited and still not using it. It's sooo not ideal right now but again, the odds are so low to begin with. This is life we're talking about. Maybe I just don't want to block what might be meant to be anymore. This is it for me. I doubt I have to explain that to any woman here.

I went to the BR just before and though I thought I might be past OV based on when I had the light pains and also how I was feeling, I have definite EWCM! I actually got a big smile over that. I really have lost my mind lately... lol.

And...we'll be together tonight. The midweek thing was largely my idea this time, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't quite largely due to looking at my proejected fertile window on my calendar apps and trying to get closer. I just won't admit that outside of here. I guess we'll see what happens. It would suck if after 2 months not using a condom at all, tonight he reaches for one. I know he doesn't really want to. Hopefully other things will be driving him at that point. Lol

AF was June 19th. We did it the 20, 21, 24, 28, 29 (but it was like 1 am so almost the 28th), and likely will tonight. I'm sure I'll be making a point of it, though we just typically do. So it had a chance, I'd say.

I find myself getting bitchy and emotional at moments (when alone) feeling like I'm not the woman you have a child with, but just the one who comes along later to be the fun one, after they already did it with someone else. Though this one isn't a creep for a change and also I know would embrace it, so it's probably part of why I've gone half insane lately. Along with being 41.

 

[terripeachy]

Lastchances-Do you mean AF ended on the 19th? How long are your cycles? I'm only asking because I probably don't ovulate until at least the CD8 but usually around CD14, CD15 or so, so if you're kind of planning, i don't know that a few days after AF are really that helpful, although anything can happen whenever, so you just never know.

Emotionally for all of us, and TTC#1 no less, there is always that feeling that it's not meant to be, but I know that if we want it to be, it will be, and that's all I can hope for at this point.

Yay for your EWCM and have fun tonight!

 

[Lastchances]

Thanks. Hehe.

Well until last month's insanity, the average was 26 CD. AF *began* the 19th. The few days after AF weren't with that in mind. Just for the sake of it. Today will mean the most, which is (secretly) why i was determined to get together midweek. Though the end of last weekend technically could have too, given it was in my window. I felt the mild OV pain (L side again) in the 26th-27th. My calendar app has me ovulating tomorrow. Though the 2 apps differ. Given the OV pain and the EWCM, I'd guess it's primetime.

If he suddenly reaches for protection I may scream. Lol. I have less than a 5% chance any given month as it is. I'm not supposed to be "planning" but I know stuff, so I can't seem to help paying attention. I always used condoms. Always. He was the one who started this. (As I tell him as part of our running joke) Lol Afaic if you absolutely 100% don't want a child, then you use protection without fail. Period. He absolutely knows the risk. If I'm being honest, I think what would make me happy at this point is to just go about our business, enjoy our time together, roll the dice and IF it just happens, embrace it and figure out how to make it all work. And be happy. Kinda like he said when he thought I might be last month. And maybe even that at least a big part of him hopes it would.

 

[Lastchances]

Ok well that all happened pretty much as I'd hoped. Lol He didn't mention or attempt to reach for anything. He completely knows my cycle/dates, so the whole thing feels to me like some silly game we pretend were not playing. Or something like that. What bugs me after I posted, the EWCM seemed more like the sticky bad kind. I may have missed my opportunity. I know I read at our ages we have the best CM much less than younger woman. Sigh. Well, if I was indeed earlier, late Sunday night could have done it too, I suppose. So now the wait begins again. While I try to pretend I'm not waiting for anything at all. I've never seen a BFP in my life. It really often seems I'll never know what that's like. The part freak out, part excitment. Telling my guy...etc. I think last month I accidentally got too used to the idea of going on our September Cruise knowing I was pregnant. Sometimes the mind can wander too much. And so begins another TWW. Feeling silly probably because of how unlikely it is.

 

[Pussycat1]

Pussycat--did your dr say what the chances are of this happening? It has to be so incredibly rare. It really is almost unbelievable! Have you and DH told anyone in the real world yet? I know you are anxious about this, but you have been through so much to get here, so for you to now have three babies growing inside of you really seems miraculous! At least try to revel in the miracle of it...after so many disappointments to now have an abundance of little beans snuggling in just brings a smile to my face. However many babies you take home in the end, you will be overjoyed and frazzled. But you and DH can absolutely handle it.

Thanks Vonn, I've been trying to find out how rare it is, from what I can see it is more common in older ladies and when hatchling Blasts are transferred (both of which apply to me), however it's still only c3% on the stats! As I'm only 7 weeks on Sat ( feels like I should be at least 12!), we're fully prepared for the situation to change so watch this space. I think I'm just really scared for the health of the babies and me as I know someone how had triplets and one of them only survived 1 day, she also suffered (and still does) all sorts of complications. However I am for and well and my babies are little miracles for now.
How did your scan go today? I was always told that they can have a sudden growth spurt. My follies were always slow to grow, the extra dose may boost them on. Keep us posted! xx

 

[Jean40]

I had my mid cycle scan on day 12 this morning. Lining 11mm (that sound much better), right ovary finally woke up & 25mm follicle. Left ovary is once again the dominant ovary, 18 mm and 2 14mm follicles (which may or may not produce a mature egg). Trigger tonight, IUI Sat morning. Lady RE said she would rather see follicles in the 18-20 range, not larger, so the 25 might be out, who knows. I still didn't get a smiley this morning or a peak on my CBFM, so I think triggering tonight is going to be good. I'll do another smiley tonight before I trigger and see. Now I have to get to work.

 

[Lastchances]

Deleted duplicate post.

 

[Lastchances]

Someone I know had I think 3 rounds of IVF. In 2013 their last attempt was successful. She was pregnant with triplets. 1 didn't last terribly long. 2 survived, were born, and seem to be a healthy boy & girl to this day. Unfortunately, their parents are pretty awful people (I have mega personal gripes with them due to a past highly abusive relationship and their twisted support of the one who did it) so thinking about the fact that she (and he) got to have those babies makes me kinda sick.

I had thought of that immediately, but was afraid to bring it up because one didn't make it. Which I think isn't uncommon, unfortunately. :/

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi last chance, no you are right, there is a high chance that we will lose at least one. If we lose the 'twins' they both go. We're very real about this and we're at such an early stage. Apparently you can lose one with no bleed as your body absorbs it, I think the call it 'vanishing twin syndrome' . x

 

[Lastchances]

Well I certainly wish you the best possible outcome Pussycat.

 

[Jean40]

IUI first appointment this morning. I'm definitely feeling a bit sore in the ovary areas.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing?
Jean, congrats on being PUPO! Do you know how many follies you had in the end? When is your test date?
Vonn, have you had anymore scans? Hopefully the increased dose has done the trick and those follies are growing.
Weezy, any further forward? You're at such a difficult stage but whatever decision you make it will be right for you. All I can say is if you do decide to go with donor eggs, after the initial 'get your head round it' it made total sense to me.
I had a second scan this morning and as suspected the third heartbeat is no longer there. They could see the gestation sac, however there was no fetal pole or yolk sac and it was collapsing down. The other two have doubled in size and had strong heartbeats, size measuring very slightly below average but normal for twins. I have to say ladies, awful though this sounds, I am relieved. A twin pregnancy is so much less complicated than triplets and we were very worried about how we'd cope. I didn't realise how worried we were until they told us there were now two. I now feel the joy and the elation I should have felt last week, again I know it's awful to say but I am relieved and delighted to be carrying identical twins! So it's all blue or all pink, think we may find out when we can as we've had enough surprises for now! Fingers crossed these two make it.
x

 

[Vonn]

Pussycat--I'm so glad you took the news of solo-baby's reabsorbtion with relief rather than pure sorrow. Those identical twins are miracle enough! Yay for being joyful and elated--that is exactly what you DESERVE!! I'm sorry to hear of the loss, but you are right that triplets would make for a seriously difficult pregnancy. I can't wait to find out what you have growing in there. Team blue or team pink???? What do you and DH think?

Jean--GL with the TWW!

Weezy--any next steps figured out?

Lastchances--how r u feeling?

Terri--back to the real world yet on still on vacation?

Clizard--Hi!

AFM--well, turns out follistim and menopur are not appreciated by my lady parts. Even on CD 11, I still had no follicle growth or appreciable increase in lining. The meds totally suppressed my ovaries and endometrium, exact opposite of what they are supposed to do! WTF. So now off the meds and waiting to see if my ovaries jump back into the game and produce a mature follicle on their own. I go back in Friday, CD 17, to have another scan & check things out. If still nothing, then I'll take provera to jump start AF and move on to the next cycle.

 

[Jean40]

I'm feeling much less bloated today. I drank sports drinks and ate extra protein and that helped. Pussycat, I had 4 follicles total. RE thought the 2 smaller ones might or might not contain a mature egg, but when I go in to my online chart to see the results, they were 16mmx14mm (they told me at time of ultrasound they were 14mm), so I am hoping they will contain a mature egg each. I'm so busy this week that I hope this TWW flies by. Who knows. I bought a 20 pack of SurePredict HCG tests, those are supposed to be good ones, I had really dilute urine a couple days ago to test it and yep, it's positive, so I think they will work just fine. I'll start testing out my trigger Friday. Oh yeah, testing date is July 18.