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A home for EVERYONE!
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armymama2012
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Yay for flutters. All I feel is traveling gas bubbles lol.
janelleybean
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4:39pm
armymama2012
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7:53 p.m. here. Tummy starting to act up again.
Alright, so I'm caught up for 5 min. Lol
Nicole, maybe a playdate at the zoo.
supposing either of us are not too sick! Sorry about the situation with your husband. Definitly talk to him. Gently, not accusing until you have to. I hope I don't offend saying this but I think it is important. Both of you have to realize that unfortunatly this baby won't fill the void. My husbands family lost a daughter when she was 12 and my husband was 8. when we got married I was told that hopefully I would be the replacement that his mom needed. I haven't lived up the what she wants as a daughter. I would have to lose my whole sense of who I am to do that. How dare I have a differing opinion. Anyway they had a girl move in with them temporarly and she did everything they wanted, agreed with everything and had a mother /daughter relationship that she wanted (i don't even have the relationship his mom wants with my own mom) and things got really bad for me. The digs and comments started, the making me feel like I am worthless and getting my butt jumped because my favorite color is not pink, etc. this girl that lived with them was what they wanted (not what I wanted around bc she told me to let her know if Jim and I had problems bc she wanted him to divorce me and be with her- and this happened before she moved in with his parents and was buddy buddy with his mom.) His mom has taken it too far, bc I don't live up to what she wants she's done things to get back at me that could put my daughter's life in danger. When this girl left, it took a few months and finally jim's mom was finally a little nicer. The worst part was that she would call when she knew jim was not home, get me cornered and act completely different than when other people were around. Jim's brother has a roomate (lives in a house on the family farm. Thank God my husband chose not to build out there) that is a girl. I couldn't figure out why things had gotten bad again, until a camping trip that I nicely invited everyone to. And I realized that she had another replacement. This time she made a comment in front of everyone, yet everyone coddled her. It caused big problems between my husband and I and I left to my dad's for a week. I was angry he didn't stand up for me, bc if I say anything his dad will jump my butt. She claims that I just misunderstand everything she says, but there are some things that no matter how you say them should never be said. I think she uses it as a ploy. Anyway, after my long story......that hurt is hard and I can't imagine losing my child. My mil has never gotten over it or really dealt with it, only keeps trying to replace that void. I'm not what she wants so it gets taken out on me. I guess my reason for this is that you will never forget your son. Even tho you want a baby boy, a girl or boy is going to be its own blessing. This baby will add to your family and hopefully help mend some of the hurt. I just know for me, I will never be adequate for jim's mom- I will forever be the daughter in law that she really doesn't want bc i'm not her daughter. Like I said, I don't want to offend but maybe bring forward this thought......i know you think that maybe your husband is distancing himself, hopefully you guys can talk it over. I just don't want to see the resentment that comes towards me to a baby if it doesn't meet the expectation of what thought would be healed by them. not that I think someone's own child would be treated this way, but just being aware that it may not heal everything like it' wanted to. Like I said, don't want to offend......
*sigh- I just feel like deleting all that.
Krissy- sorry about all your health issues lately. That just sucks.
Janelle- I love how you are also a diy person like me! I love power tools!
Loren- I suppose you could borrow my husband. Just please give him back! Lol i've not left our room in 3 1/2 days, thankfully he got rained out from work since thurs, and he's taken care of me and my daughter. Today he even cleaned much of the house! He usually helps bc of my pain, but he's done a lot more since we found out I was pregnant and am so sick. I think he feels a little bad. I told him today that he' not getting any after this until he's 90.
So i'm sure there are things I missed. These things just stuck out. So if I forgot you i'm sorry.
AFM- I haven't left our room since we got home on thurs. Before my dr appt I knew I was dehydrated since I wasn't keeping anything down. Anyway, my u/s was ok, well kinds sucked. The normal tech had a death so I had someone new. She didn't explain hardly anything- not that I needed her to (anatomy wise), but she needed to get the worried look off her face if she wasn't going to tell me what she was thinking. Baby measured a wk behind (really I have an extra wk of puking? I like with my daughter and having crazy cycles and not having any idea where I was before.i went in there). There was a spot that she says is just extra tissue on my uterus...yet she kept measuring and checking blood flow. Couldn't get anything else out of her. Then I had my dr appt. I have never really like my dr, but got transferred to him when my other dr left. I figured after all the trouble I had last time and us finally agreeing (well more him accepting) things that he would be a whole lot easier to deal with this time instead of explaining to a whole new dr. maybe not the case. They have yet to order any bloodword, do a u/a, they didn' ck my wt or bp this time. I see him and he says well we are going to do another u/s next wk. I asked to ck the size, 'yeah we'll look at that too' what's that suppose to mean. Woundn't tell me. We discussed how sick i've been and agreed to iv therapy that my parents practice with technically administer (they will order everything and I bring it home). So 3 bags of fluid a day, then he wants iv zofran added. I looked at him like why? Zofran didn't work after my neck surgery, after an injection that made me nauseated, last pregnancy, or oral this time. Why does he think it's going to work now? I told him it's not strong enough, I have and have used some im phenergan (don't let them put it iv, even diluted it can hurt your veins), it works a tad but not nearly enough. I want that and iv reglan. 'we need to make sure zofran isn't going to work' ok, whatever. I'll just keep using the phenergan and my mom ordered reglan (unfortunatly backordered, but as soon as it is in it will be what I use). So this is kinda going like last time, he doesn't help me enough so my parents do and I go in the next time and tell him the new plan. I don't yet know how i've not gotten kicked out of his practice! Lol I even told him wed that, he must hate me being the daughter of a dr and nurse. He said it can be good and challenging. Lol I also asked for a picc line....and he said no. said there is too much risk of infection (i had one last time just fine- I can take care of it), sticking me multiple times daily to get fluids doesn' have that risk? He wants to prove first that my veins won't hold for the fluids I needs and that i'm a hard stick first. Well i'm bruised. The first site blew before I even had 1 bag of fluid in. thurs went back for my mom to start my iv's again and it took 6 times before finding a site that would thread, wouldn't blow right away or would give a blood return. The place it got put hurts as fluid is going, but it goes....so atleast i've gotten somewhat rehydrated. I think it has to be up against the wall of the vein bc it runs sooooooo slow. Atleast it' held. Too bad my iv today was the last it would hold for. So, next wk I couldn't get an appt with the dr and see the np. Hopefully she'll get him to order the picc. If he doesn' I guess my stepdad will be doing it again. Why can't he just look back and see what helped last time? I don't have good veins, there isn't going to be anything left. My mom actually said that if I couldn't tolerate the site it's at now that the next area to try is my chest. So that's probably what i'm in for next time.
So I could use some prayers for my u/s next thurs. That it's good news and not whatever they refuse to tell me. I hope (i know this is awful) that if the 'tissue' that kept getting ck'd is the issue and the only issue. I think she kept loking for blood flow for a twin. :/ And they will have mercy on my veins and give me a picc before I can't get fluid bc of no sites. I was in really bad shape.
My husband said last pregnancy that he ate for both of us, this time him and my little piggy daughter are. She's been eating like crazy the last week.
Alright, i'll end my novel! Lol now you know why i've been mia. Just sleeping through it!
Don't mind my additional words below! I'm on the tablet and it wouldn't let me click on last line so I had to restart when I got distracted!
slowslow. somewhat somewhat rehydrated.
Nicole, maybe a playdate at the zoo.
supposing either of us are not too sick! Sorry about the situation with your husband. Definitly talk to him. Gently, not accusing until you have to. I hope I don't offend saying this but I think it is important. Both of you have to realize that unfortunatly this baby won't fill the void. My husbands family lost a daughter when she was 12 and my husband was 8. when we got married I was told that hopefully I would be the replacement that his mom needed. I haven't lived up the what she wants as a daughter. I would have to lose my whole sense of who I am to do that. How dare I have a differing opinion. Anyway they had a girl move in with them temporarly and she did everything they wanted, agreed with everything and had a mother /daughter relationship that she wanted (i don't even have the relationship his mom wants with my own mom) and things got really bad for me. The digs and comments started, the making me feel like I am worthless and getting my butt jumped because my favorite color is not pink, etc. this girl that lived with them was what they wanted (not what I wanted around bc she told me to let her know if Jim and I had problems bc she wanted him to divorce me and be with her- and this happened before she moved in with his parents and was buddy buddy with his mom.) His mom has taken it too far, bc I don't live up to what she wants she's done things to get back at me that could put my daughter's life in danger. When this girl left, it took a few months and finally jim's mom was finally a little nicer. The worst part was that she would call when she knew jim was not home, get me cornered and act completely different than when other people were around. Jim's brother has a roomate (lives in a house on the family farm. Thank God my husband chose not to build out there) that is a girl. I couldn't figure out why things had gotten bad again, until a camping trip that I nicely invited everyone to. And I realized that she had another replacement. This time she made a comment in front of everyone, yet everyone coddled her. It caused big problems between my husband and I and I left to my dad's for a week. I was angry he didn't stand up for me, bc if I say anything his dad will jump my butt. She claims that I just misunderstand everything she says, but there are some things that no matter how you say them should never be said. I think she uses it as a ploy. Anyway, after my long story......that hurt is hard and I can't imagine losing my child. My mil has never gotten over it or really dealt with it, only keeps trying to replace that void. I'm not what she wants so it gets taken out on me. I guess my reason for this is that you will never forget your son. Even tho you want a baby boy, a girl or boy is going to be its own blessing. This baby will add to your family and hopefully help mend some of the hurt. I just know for me, I will never be adequate for jim's mom- I will forever be the daughter in law that she really doesn't want bc i'm not her daughter. Like I said, I don't want to offend but maybe bring forward this thought......i know you think that maybe your husband is distancing himself, hopefully you guys can talk it over. I just don't want to see the resentment that comes towards me to a baby if it doesn't meet the expectation of what thought would be healed by them. not that I think someone's own child would be treated this way, but just being aware that it may not heal everything like it' wanted to. Like I said, don't want to offend......*sigh- I just feel like deleting all that.
Krissy- sorry about all your health issues lately. That just sucks.
Janelle- I love how you are also a diy person like me!
I love power tools!Loren- I suppose you could borrow my husband. Just please give him back! Lol i've not left our room in 3 1/2 days, thankfully he got rained out from work since thurs, and he's taken care of me and my daughter. Today he even cleaned much of the house! He usually helps bc of my pain, but he's done a lot more since we found out I was pregnant and am so sick. I think he feels a little bad.
I told him today that he' not getting any after this until he's 90.So i'm sure there are things I missed. These things just stuck out. So if I forgot you i'm sorry.
AFM- I haven't left our room since we got home on thurs. Before my dr appt I knew I was dehydrated since I wasn't keeping anything down. Anyway, my u/s was ok, well kinds sucked. The normal tech had a death so I had someone new. She didn't explain hardly anything- not that I needed her to (anatomy wise), but she needed to get the worried look off her face if she wasn't going to tell me what she was thinking. Baby measured a wk behind (really I have an extra wk of puking? I like with my daughter and having crazy cycles and not having any idea where I was before.i went in there). There was a spot that she says is just extra tissue on my uterus...yet she kept measuring and checking blood flow. Couldn't get anything else out of her. Then I had my dr appt. I have never really like my dr, but got transferred to him when my other dr left. I figured after all the trouble I had last time and us finally agreeing (well more him accepting) things that he would be a whole lot easier to deal with this time instead of explaining to a whole new dr. maybe not the case. They have yet to order any bloodword, do a u/a, they didn' ck my wt or bp this time. I see him and he says well we are going to do another u/s next wk. I asked to ck the size, 'yeah we'll look at that too' what's that suppose to mean. Woundn't tell me. We discussed how sick i've been and agreed to iv therapy that my parents practice with technically administer (they will order everything and I bring it home). So 3 bags of fluid a day, then he wants iv zofran added. I looked at him like why? Zofran didn't work after my neck surgery, after an injection that made me nauseated, last pregnancy, or oral this time. Why does he think it's going to work now? I told him it's not strong enough, I have and have used some im phenergan (don't let them put it iv, even diluted it can hurt your veins), it works a tad but not nearly enough. I want that and iv reglan. 'we need to make sure zofran isn't going to work' ok, whatever. I'll just keep using the phenergan and my mom ordered reglan (unfortunatly backordered, but as soon as it is in it will be what I use). So this is kinda going like last time, he doesn't help me enough so my parents do and I go in the next time and tell him the new plan. I don't yet know how i've not gotten kicked out of his practice! Lol I even told him wed that, he must hate me being the daughter of a dr and nurse. He said it can be good and challenging. Lol I also asked for a picc line....and he said no. said there is too much risk of infection (i had one last time just fine- I can take care of it), sticking me multiple times daily to get fluids doesn' have that risk? He wants to prove first that my veins won't hold for the fluids I needs and that i'm a hard stick first. Well i'm bruised. The first site blew before I even had 1 bag of fluid in. thurs went back for my mom to start my iv's again and it took 6 times before finding a site that would thread, wouldn't blow right away or would give a blood return. The place it got put hurts as fluid is going, but it goes....so atleast i've gotten somewhat rehydrated. I think it has to be up against the wall of the vein bc it runs sooooooo slow. Atleast it' held. Too bad my iv today was the last it would hold for. So, next wk I couldn't get an appt with the dr and see the np. Hopefully she'll get him to order the picc. If he doesn' I guess my stepdad will be doing it again. Why can't he just look back and see what helped last time? I don't have good veins, there isn't going to be anything left. My mom actually said that if I couldn't tolerate the site it's at now that the next area to try is my chest. So that's probably what i'm in for next time.
So I could use some prayers for my u/s next thurs. That it's good news and not whatever they refuse to tell me. I hope (i know this is awful) that if the 'tissue' that kept getting ck'd is the issue and the only issue. I think she kept loking for blood flow for a twin. :/ And they will have mercy on my veins and give me a picc before I can't get fluid bc of no sites. I was in really bad shape.
My husband said last pregnancy that he ate for both of us, this time him and my little piggy daughter are. She's been eating like crazy the last week.
Alright, i'll end my novel! Lol now you know why i've been mia. Just sleeping through it!
Don't mind my additional words below! I'm on the tablet and it wouldn't let me click on last line so I had to restart when I got distracted!
slowslow. somewhat somewhat rehydrated.
Krissy485
Waiting to try again....
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Hi Amber! 
i know how hard it can seeing a dr you dont really care for. it sucks they wont tell you what is going on! you are so in my prayers lady and i cant wait to hear about a great ultrasound!! what day do you do it?
ok gonna watch a movie then to sleep watching all those kids today wore me out! lol
i know how hard it can seeing a dr you dont really care for. it sucks they wont tell you what is going on! you are so in my prayers lady and i cant wait to hear about a great ultrasound!! what day do you do it? ok gonna watch a movie then to sleep watching all those kids today wore me out! lol
armymama2012
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We are not trying to replace him and that is why DH is scared. He thinks holding a new baby will feel like we are replacing him.
I am sorry they treated you like that. I would never expect anyone to take his place, especially not someone who married into our crazy family. I can only imagine how my DH feels because our families are complete opposites. He had more of a country, almost poor childhood with 4 siblings. I was raised in a well off family in suburbia. He was raised going to church and I was raised where my parents avoided church. I still love going to church and thats how I met him. Anyways, my parents kind of look down on him and they see him as not deserving me.
His family is definitely still not well-off even now that they only have 2 soon to be 1 child living with them but they spoil me and the grandkids when we are there. He claims that everyone loves me more than him because not only do I carry our kids but because I deal with him 24/7.
I dont think I have ever been to the Indy Zoo since I was 14! That would be fun! I hope to be over this sickness by then and I hope you are able to keep down some food. I will pray for you and am glad your DH is helping out.
I am sorry they treated you like that. I would never expect anyone to take his place, especially not someone who married into our crazy family. I can only imagine how my DH feels because our families are complete opposites. He had more of a country, almost poor childhood with 4 siblings. I was raised in a well off family in suburbia. He was raised going to church and I was raised where my parents avoided church. I still love going to church and thats how I met him. Anyways, my parents kind of look down on him and they see him as not deserving me.
His family is definitely still not well-off even now that they only have 2 soon to be 1 child living with them but they spoil me and the grandkids when we are there. He claims that everyone loves me more than him because not only do I carry our kids but because I deal with him 24/7.
I dont think I have ever been to the Indy Zoo since I was 14! That would be fun! I hope to be over this sickness by then and I hope you are able to keep down some food. I will pray for you and am glad your DH is helping out.
Krissy- I go on thursday.
Nicole- sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or offend you. some of your husbands actions made me think he is holding on to this anger (and all rights for the situation) that is coming out bc of fear and just what thoughts ands situations that had come about with my husband's family bc of it their own anger and never dealing with it. Whether intentional or not. Sorry. Should have never said anything.
Nicole- sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or offend you. some of your husbands actions made me think he is holding on to this anger (and all rights for the situation) that is coming out bc of fear and just what thoughts ands situations that had come about with my husband's family bc of it their own anger and never dealing with it. Whether intentional or not. Sorry. Should have never said anything.
Nicole, I can completely relate to your husband not feeling like he's good enough. For me it adds a lot of stress and pressure. Especially with money being tight he may not feel like he is providing enough for you or good enough. Maybe some gentle reminders you married him for him not money and you love him for him. Stick up for him if your family looks down on him for where he came from. He can't control that. The army may not pay him well, but it should be something he holds his head up high for choosing to do. He certainly doesn't get paid enough when he goes away to fight for our country.
I think Jim is going to take M to the indy zoo tomorrow to get out of the house. *pouts, I want to go! Just maybe i'll feel well enough.....yeah right! It would be a miracle.
I think Jim is going to take M to the indy zoo tomorrow to get out of the house. *pouts, I want to go! Just maybe i'll feel well enough.....yeah right! It would be a miracle.
armymama2012
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Amber- I do stand up for him. He personally is one of those who doesnt care who thinks what of him. He doesn't like my parents much either because they have tried to influence me against him before. I stand behind his decisions despite my non-confrontational nature. My mom definitely will not like that we have agreed to have someone neutral (not blood-related to either of us) be in the delivery room with me for this baby. His mom wont like it either but that's what we thought was best. He is fine with my mom staying with me at the house for as long as she wants once I am free to go home from the hospital but she cant be there for the delivery.
That's awesome that you do stand up for him. It has to make him feel better that you stand behind him. many times I don't get that. His family has trained him no matter what you stand by that family wrong or not.....or you have the WHOLE family against you. I'll get the that wasn't right or sorry, but too many times will never say anything to his family. It's frustrating. Come teach my husband please!
My mil was angry that no one besides my husband was going to be at my daughter's delivery. You have to do what is right for you, husband and baby. what you guys think is right, fair and most comfortable for you. How far after you are due is he suppose to be deployed? I'm sure it's rough on you both.
My mil was angry that no one besides my husband was going to be at my daughter's delivery. You have to do what is right for you, husband and baby. what you guys think is right, fair and most comfortable for you. How far after you are due is he suppose to be deployed? I'm sure it's rough on you both.
armymama2012
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He will deploy before I get into 3rd trimester and won't be back til almost 2014.
armymama2012
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Dh was trained that once you leave your parents you cling to your marriage so therefore we can still discuss different views on things but we support each other's decisions in front of everyone. And no doesn't mean we don't occasionally make the wrong decision.
