Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP

[gingmg]

Melly- good for you going on aggressive hikes! Have you told work yet?

Jazzbird- how frustrating to have to go through a colicky phase and have all the visitors. I know they mean well and just want to help you, but it must feel frustrating to have everyone give an opinion on what they think is best. I hope things settle down soon and I hope this colicky phase doesn't last too long.


I'm feeling better about the birth process. Of coarse I'm scared, but I am feeling more empowered than before. I've been reading a book of positive birth stories and its helping. Im going to the hospital tomorrow to meet the midwives, so I think that will help as well. I've been followed by an OB this whole time, but I think for the actual delivery I want a midwife. So I get to meet them tomorrow.

Its normal to have your platelets drop a little during pregnancy, same with being anemic- the baby just takes it. Its just that I started low so I didn't have the room to drop as safely as others. The risk with the epidural is bleeding ( platelets help your blood to clot and prevent bleeding), and the space where the epidural catheter goes is not an area that they want to bleed. I'm hoping that the gas will be available by November and I will feel better about my options. I need to look into that hynobirthing CD. I am determined to be as positive, empowered, and excited as possible for this experience.
Overall, as long as I'm not at work, I feel really good. Hope it lasts.

 

[Jazzbird]

Hey Ging - my blood count was too low for a home birth a few weeks before I gave birth so I started taking floradix - a herbal supplement for iron - and my levels shot up. Worth a try? I took iron pills throughout my pregnancy but they didn't have the same effect.

I think being relaxed about labour beforehand is the key. Its over so quickly you wonder why you wasted so many hours worrying about it. Something I would suggest is to take a pic of down below beforehand - mainly for reassurance as you do worry that things might have completely changed. But you never look down there so how do you know?

The other thing that seemed to be working well for me in labour was walking around and breathing through the contractions very slowly. Everything seemed to slow down when I got in the pool and started on gas and air. Believe you can breathe through the contractions and you will.

Right I'm taking my little girl out for a spin in her pram. Screamed her head off in it yesterday though!

 

[melly2]

Jazz: From what I've been reading the 4 week mark is pretty normal for babies to become more aware...and more fussy. I'm not sure if you're swaddling her, but I have many friends and books that swear by that. It's funny that you mentioned to take a picture of "Down there", because I actually recently read that somewhere else. I guess I didn't realize that "down there" changes so much, but apparently so. BTW: I love your inspiring words on labor, it's giving me hope as well! You bring up a good point about guests, because I know I will have many who will be coming. Unfortunately (or fortunately, in most cases) our family is far away; however, they're all making the pilgrimage to come see the baby. I'm trying to determine exactly when after the baby is born that I want them to come, because otherwise, it could be very overwhelming.

Ging: That's awesome that you're meeting your midwife. I think you have the right attitude towards the birthing process!

I did finally start telling my coworkers (mostly), with the exception of my boss, who works remote. Him and I just haven't had a chance to meet in the last couple months, so I figured next time he's in town, I'll tell him. Depending on what I wear, it's still not obvious, so I think a lot of people still don't know.

 

[Jazzbird]

Hi Melly

Re guests it's a really tough one. I was on a high after the birth for a week then got tearful and a bit down week 2. I felt better emotionally week 3 and better physically week 4.

Everyone is very different though and every birth is different. I found sitting uncomfortable for 3 weeks. We had family only in the first week and no more than 2-3 hours at a time. Friends we've spaced out and still have a lot to see.

If you breast feed, the first week you are trying to establish that. I remember having my boobs out in front of my FIL the day I gave birth. That wasn't what I really wanted.

I also am so glad we haven't had an overnight guest too. You're trying to find your own rhythm and you don't want advice in the middle of the night when you are stressed and tired.

Some friends of mine felt very envious when other people held third precious newborn.

I guess you just need to make your own boundaries and communicate them to everyone. I turned my sister down on the request of a second visit 12 days after birth because I was very sore, emotional, it was my OHs last day of paternity leave and my sister has 3 kids under 10 and I just felt it was too much to handle.

In fact I've been so grateful to friends who have left their kids at home!


Glad you find my comments re labour reassuring - I hope I'm not coming across as a know it all. I'm just saying what I wish I had known beforehand.

You'll do great!

Also would recommend stool softner for first bowel movement but I had to use it for a few weeks. Also take lots of luke warm baths to help healing. Fill a jug of warm water when you wee to pour over your bits as it does sting.

 

[gingmg]

Sorry its a long one...

Been a bit emotional lately. I feel like I'm in this weird transitional spot where my life is about to change dramatically, but it hasn't actually happened yet. My mind is running wild with questions and my body and heart are filled with emotions- don't know how to put any of it into words. Its like I'm standing on the brink of change and looking out and trying to imagine how the pieces are going to all fit together and what this is actually going to be like. What kind of mom will I be? Do I have what it takes? The list of questions is endless. I know it will all work itself out and there really is no way to prepare for any of this. I'm as ready as I will ever be to be a mom and yet I don't feel the least bit ready.....

So that's the first thing. Lots of feelings and thoughts running wild. The second thing is had a bit of a scare today. I think I lost some of my plug. I had a scheduled appointment today anyway and everything looked OK. Cervix is long and closed so they said just to watch it and call if I had anymore bleeding. Well, it happened again right before work tonight. Talked to the doctor on call and she said if I hadn't just had a reassuring ultrasound today she would have me go to labor and delivery. She was OK with me working as long as I promised to leave if there was anymore blood or if i had 4 contractions in an hour. The problem is I don't know what contractions feel like. I'm having "tightening" but its not painful. I don't know how to decide if they are contractions or not- maybe braxton hicks? It sounds like the good news here is that my cervix is long and closed, but she said it does sound like I am having some signs of possible preterm labor approaching. I need to take it easy now and listen to my body. HE HAS TO STAY IN FOR AT LEAST TWO MORE WEEKS IF NOT THREE!!!!!! Say a prayer. I keep telling him to stay with me, he won't like it out here yet. He's not safe yet. Two more weeks PLEASE!

Have no idea what to do with work. Talked to some of my coworkers tonight and I think they are going to be good to me with assignments (little babies as opposed to big kids). Hopefully I can buy some time here because i don't want to go out yet if I don't absolutely have to. I'm going to have a test that checks for a certain protein in the uterus. If it's positive it means I will be going into labor within two weeks- in which case I will get steroids to mature his lungs and I will go out on leave to try to ward off the labor. If its negative, I will feel better about still working and hopefully they will give me easy assignments. I know it probably sounds like I should just go out of work now, and gosh I wish I could. But with my wife in school, this mortgage is depending on me and I only have so much paid time off. I'll go out if I have to but am hoping to make it a bit longer.

 

[Jazzbird]

Ging hun - I'm so sorry you are going through such a scare. Is there any way you can take personal time to rest up? I think it's just so important that you have some time off work. If the baby comes early - it will interfere with your finances anyway and I think it's a lot harder with a premature baby. Please if you can just rest and take some time off work.

You could also consider acupuncture to prevent early labour. I'm not sure how effective it is - but anything to relax you at this point would be beneficial.

As to the racing mind - it's completely natural and unfortunately not much you can do to prevent it. Of course you are worrying and wondering as it is a gigantic leap into the unknown! A baby does change everything but after a couple of weeks you won't be able to imagine life without him and you will find your natural groove with being a Mum.

The most important thing you can do now is try to de-stress and rest as much as possible. Can your wife pick up more housework/cooking? So important to eat well to support you and the baby. Are you still doing night shifts - I really feel these are not good for pregnant ladies - any way you can switch to just days for the time being? Would your boss help if you told them what was happening? I'm sure they legally have to give you some other options at this point?

Big cuddle from me.

Xxx

 

[gingmg]

Jazzbird- I will rest as much as I can, but I can't take any personal time. It doesn't really work that way. If I am threatened with preterm labor, I can go out early with medical leave. Other than that, I'll be at work and hope they give me easy assignments. My job doesn't even honor weight restrictions or reduced hours. Its rubbish. Yes, I still work nights. No its not ideal, but at least if I have a simple assignment I can sit with my feet up which would never be allowed during the day. Its not great for my natural clock, but its much less physical work.
My wife has been great around the house, so that part is good. I guess its just one day at a time. I know I will feel better after a few days off.

 

[melly2]

Ging: Thinking and praying for your little guy to stay in there for a couple more weeks. How many weeks are you now? Hoping that everything turns out okay, and you're just getting braxton hicks. Please keep us updated!! We're thinking of you!

The life change hasn't quite hit me yet. I know the baby will cry a lot in the first few months, and there will be little sleep, but I'm mentally prepared for it.

Question for you ladies. My husband is wanting to go back to Kansas for Thanksgiving. This is a nine hour drive! I will be 34 weeks pregnant at that point, and I just don't think it's good to be that far from my doctor, because of possible preterm labor. Plus, just being in a car that long. I asked my doctor and she said I was right on the cusp of when it's no longer a good idea to travel. Not sure what to do. Those of you who just had a baby, how were you feeling at 34 weeks? Would you be willing to ride in a car or travel for 9+ hours one way?

 

[gingmg]

Melly- tough call. Do you have to commit now? Can you wait and see how you feel? I will be 34 weeks this next week. I feel much better than I did the other day, no more tightening or bleeding now that I took care of a little baby and not my big 21 year old boy. I think my body is just telling me to slow down. I wouldnt travel at this point. If I hadn't just gone through what I did the other day, I might feel fine but now I think I'd be too nervous. I was in the car for a few hours last week and my back hurt at the end but it was manageable. Tough call to predict how you will feel, everyone is so different. As far as early labor, I think there are usually signs leading up to it. If you are feeling great the days before, maybe you would feel fine to go for Thanksgiving far away. I'm learning our bodies are going to tell us when enough is enough. It is a very long time to be sitting in a car though, I don't know how comfortable I would feel even if I hadn't had that scare. I think your doctor is right, you will be right on the cusp of when its definitely not a good idea. I guess this isn't really helpful advice- you might just have to see how you feel.

 

[BBbliss]

Ging, i just saw your post about your "tightening" and yes they are Braxton hicks and if they put you on a monitor they do show up as contractions so yes they are considered contractions. If you get them again (more then 4 in an hour, like your dr said) could be because you are dehydrated or need to slow down and if it happens again they could put you on medication and bed rest until its safe for the baby to come out. That happened to me, I was rushed to the hospital twice with my first one for having those painless tightening feelings 6-8 minutes apart before my DD was born at 36 weeks, she was 5lb and we got to go home together

But be careful, be watchful for the Braxton hicks, time them and if they come back with any frequency you should get your medical leave. I'm just jumping in because I had experience with this. I was in bed rest and medication every three hours,even in the middle of the night, for two months with my first and one month with my second with the same painless contractions.

I hope I didn't scare you

And btw, you are going to do fine!!! We all have what it takes. Let go of the questions for now, they are not serving you... Each answer will just show itself when the time comes, one at a time

 

[gingmg]

Bbliss- don't worry, your post didn't scare me. I feel pretty in tune to my body and I promise not to push it if its telling me to stop. I think I will know when I shouldn't be working anymore, but I don't think I am there yet. After some good rest I do feel hopeful that I will make it a few more weeks.
How are you doing? What's new? How is your daughter enjoying the big city life out on her own? Are things any better with your other daughter?

 

[BBbliss]

Ging I'm glad I didn't scare you LOL

Who's the new home looking? The baby' room ready?

Life here is good I had CD3 blood done yesterday and I'm impatiently waiting for the results, hahah I had them done 15 months ago so I'm a little scared to see what has happened to my body since. I turn 45 next month :O

I started BCP last night and I'm now officially on my second and last IVF attempt so say a prayer for me transfer will be around my Bday

DF and I decided this is it for us, it's too stressful and too expensive and sooo all consuming as you all know that I'm ready to be preg or move on. I'm still full of hope, we both are...so here we go again

Hope all are doing great and HAPPY!!!

Any new girls?

 

[gingmg]

BBliss- How exciting! I really hope this works out for you. I am sending you prayers, positive energy, and loads of baby dust! I am hopeful that this will work for you.

 

[Jazzbird]

BBBliss - so when is your transfer? I'm praying for you. I admire your attitude of one last try and then move on. I see so many people who spend years, decades even pouring everything they have and are heartbroken. I count my blessings I've been lucky enough to have one; but there are other avenues in life.

Life is good with us. We both have colds and sore throats at the moment which is tough with a 7 week old. She's s very windy baby too which can be tough. She has had a few amazing nights sleep which I'm very grateful for!

It is wonderful being a mum but very tiring! It's also hard to remember your own identity and my oh and I seem to lost our own relationship. He's working so hard to support us; I'm preoccupied with the colour of her poo and her sleeping patterns. I'm still recovering from the birth and feel a bit if a wreck too! And my house is a mess because my lo will only sleep on me during the day! She sleeps better at night. Then there is still a constant stream of visitors at weekends with interfering grandparents .

Life as I once knew it has completely changed. Days seem much longer and shorter all at the same time. I look forwards to the hour of me time I get before bed only to miss her as soon as she's gone to sleep! My anxious nature has suddenly increased tenfold as I now have something real to worry about.

But when she smiles at me with her gummy smile - gosh my heart melts.

It certainly is a rollercoaster and one I feel privileged to be riding!! You ladies have this all to come.

 

[BBbliss]

Jazz, what a beautiful post, it brought back so many memories. It's true you fell as if you have lost your identity, in a way you have, but this is an introduction to your NEW identity and yes it's a previledge. This is all going to pass and when you look back it will be nothing but a blink in time. Don't worry about the house is it possible you "use" your family to help? Like ask them to help you clean when they come visit or ask them to take watch the baby while you have a little time to do things that are bothering you most? I never did that but I was young and didn't know how to ask but I feel it would be different now. Tell them, instead of bringing a gift, maybe donate a llitlle time or, I just had an idea!!!, how about a money jar for " cleaning lady" isn't that a good idea! LOL

Ging, I forgot to talk about my kids thank you for asking, my ODD is living her dream and loving it! I'm so so happy for her. She LOVES the city, my sis said she is just blooming My YDD is also finally doing well again, she's herself again and we have a normal relationship now, nothing like it was back in the spring when things went from bad to worse. Life is Good

 

[alison29]

OMG Jazzbird I have been there. I went on antianxiety meds around 8 weeks post pardum. Also my sex drive has never been the same. I remember feeling all touched out by the end of the day and just wanted my husband to stay FAR away on the other couch. The lack of sleep really gets to you. The other day my husband said, "what am I chopped liver" and now at least I can laugh to myself and think well Yes you are! Compared to these lovely little creatures. I am trying ot make more time for him though but for so many years I didn't have much to give him left. My twins are 6.5 yrs now. I got used to him working all the time and now just make plans without even asking him if he wants to come with us, that's where that came from I think.

Also, it is strange losing sight of yourself and becomeing this person called mom. That feeling mellows too after a while especially if you go back to work. I still put my kids before anything and EVERYONE else but I think this makes our kids feel special and kids that feel special want to please adults Even if a dh feels slighted they will really appreciate it when their kids turn out right and men can take a more active role as the kids get older thank god. I don't give them everything they want but they are never made to feel like second class citizens because they are children (I hope!)

 

[gingmg]

We had our baby shower yesterday at our new house. It was a great day, everyone seemed to have a nice time, loved the house, and we were given lots of really nice things for him. I am so grateful. It really was a special day. Except for...
My wife's family didn't show up. She was devastated and humiliated. I feel awful. Her mother called after the shower and said things like "well, he's not my grandchild and he's not your sisters nephew". She is heartbroken, she spent most of the night in my arms crying. I am so sick of her family disappointing her like this. And I am not interested in hearing about religion- which is usually what they hide behind. My entire family is Catholic and they still showed up and celebrated with us. They may not understand our lifestyle, or agree with it, but they love me and that's what comes first in their minds. Her family did this with our wedding too. Sometimes I feel guilty for the position it puts her in when I want certain things (wedding, baby shower). It brings to the forefront that she can't count on her family and it does nothing but make her feel bad. She did have a nice day though, despite. She has lots of friends, who all showed up to celebrate with her and my family just loves her to pieces. It breaks my heart that she has to go though this. It's not fair. All because she found someone to love that she wants to spend her life with and I don't have a penis. Who the F**K cares?! Why does it matter?! We are happy, healthy and have spent these last 7 years building a wonderful life together. Isn't that more important than anything?

 

[BBbliss]

Ging, how sad, this made me cry, I don't understand that kind of attitude either. Specially from your own family, I'm so sorry... It has to be so hard for her but she has you and now your family is her family also so I hope you both find comfort in that.

I'm glad the shower was a success

Jazz, I forgot to say my transfer will be in the second wk of November, the wk of my 45th birthday

I just got my bloods back FSH 5.9 AMH 2.5 ng/mL(17.8 uk scale?) it's still good but its half of what it was a little over a year ago. My FSH is the exact same. My meds will be higher this time so maybe I even get more eggs

How's everyone doing?

 

[Jazzbird]

Ging - it must be so hurtful for you and your wife. I just can't imagine how anyone could be so cruel to their own child. As I look at my little one sucking away; I could never turn my back on her and it is your duty as a parent to first accept your child for who they are and second to help them become who they are. I know it must hurt you to see your wife in pain but you should never feel bad for wanting to get married or have a child. Yes these events can sadly bring out the ugly in every family but it will bring immense joy to your wife. I can only say that my parents had a horrific marriage and divorce and the whole thing really dented my wedding day and all the months of preparation leading up to it. But I don't regret it for one second. It was still the best day of my life despite all the stress it brought. You are not the cause of your wife's unhappiness - her parents are and they are failing at the very core responsibility of being a parent.

I'm glad she found you! And your baby boy is going to love his mummies to the moon and back. When he smiles at you or your wife - you'll feel like nothing else matters in the world. It's hard for me to explain but it has helped me heal so much from the disappointments and failings of my own family. I no longer spend hours ruminating over past hurts and family problems. It has all faded into black and white.

BBbliss - my bday is 17 nov when is yours? I will be thinking of you and sending fertile thoughts your way. Your stats are so impressive. I think my amh at age 36 was 24 - so not far off yours. God knows what it's like now after pregnancy, birth and breast feeding - I've probably drained my body of any fertile energy it had left!

Alison - thank you for your lovely post. It is so nice to read others have had similar experiences. Such a rollercoaster after the birth. I'm off to see the doctor for my post partum check today. Things still aren't right yet down below and my baby girl has suddenly started crying inconsolably over the past 2 days. She won't sleep for very long and is demanding to sleep on me. I've been up since 2am with her. Not the best day to see the doctor as I'm probably going to cry and he'll think I have PND which I don't. Just hoping this passes soon - she seems to be in pain with wind and bowel movements. My mum keeps saying she has colic but I hate that term - it's just a catch all for "we don't really know why she is crying!". Just praying it eases up by the magic 12 weeks - although if it's anything like my morning sickness I'll be in it for the long haul.

Love you ladies - miss not hearing from you all more often!

 

[BBbliss]

jazz I'm November 15th! So close now...that's my cut off...

I've had my share of crying new born babies but the good news is, it's a faze and I don't think your dr will think you have pnd I'm sure it's obvious it's exhaustion, and I'd be crying too. I hope your visit goes well and you get some answers and reassurance about everything that's been bothering you.

Good luck today, let us know how it goes