Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP

[Jazzbird]

Melly - I agree with Ging the meetups for the first 6 months are really for the mums not the babies. I heard good reviews about the water babies classes. I think that's great for babies and very rewarding for mums.

I've not found it easy to find mums I get on with. It's all so random and I would rather have a couple of mums I really like than 10 I tolerate.

I've just had my girl screaming for 30 minutes trying to get her to nap in her cot. She eventually went to sleep on my shoulder but woke 30 mins later and then I Breast fed her back to sleep. I wish I had tried to get her to nap independently as I'm a bit fed up of sitting on the sofa with her!

 

[gingmg]

Yes lets talk sleep! Im obsessed!! Still not going all that great over here. I'm trying to get J to nap without me in his crib now. Its going OK. He doesn't sleep for very long so it means multiple 20 minute naps per day. If he goes an hour I'm so excited. If I lie down with him he will sleep for hours, and its tempting to let him seeing as I stay up all night at work but I'm trying to get into a better nap routine, especially since there are days that other people care for him- I'd like some consistency for him. If I time it just right I can put him down drowsy and pat his butt until he falls asleep without any tears, but if I miss my window by even 10 minutes he becomes over tired and its harder to get him to go down. Same with putting him to bed at night. If I get the timing just right I can bounce him on the yoga ball until he yawns and his eyes start to close then I immediately put him down and pat his butt until he falls asleep. If I miss my window he completely short circuits and screams and its so hard to settle him at that point. He still wakes up every 2-3 hours overnight, sometimes he will go 4 or 5 hours but that's rare. The first half of the night isn't bad, that usually is his longest stretch in his crib but its down hill after 1am. I still put him in bed with me for the second half of the night because at that point I just need my sleep. The nights I work are tough on my wife too. She hasn't had to get up with him ever so its been hard for her since I've been back to work. She now sleeps with him the second half of the night too just to get a string of a few hours sleep. It seems everyone else's baby is sleeping so much better at this point but I try not to stress over it because it is what it is. He will sleep through the night when he is ready and my guess is we are a looooonnnnnnggggggg way off from that. I can't let him cry it out and I have a feeling that is the only thing that would work. I can get him to sleep fairly easily I just can't make him stay asleep and if he wakes up I cant just ignore his cries. It would hurt me too much to do that to him. At this point i have no doubt he would stay in his crib all night but that would mean me staying awake every couple of hours to resettle him and I'm sleep deprived enough so its just easier to put him in my bed and know that I can get a good 4-6 hours of sleep. I used to care what other people thought in regards to co-sleeping but now I just don't care anymore. It works so we do it. I didn't plan on it but it came natural to us and we both are better rested as a result (more so than i would be otherwise). It doesn't mean though that I'm giving up on the crib or sleep independence. I will always start him in his room and I'm hoping that he slowly sleeps in longer stretches. I need to read some no cry sleep books to get some more tricks to help him sleep longer and better without me. We are working on it. Daily. Everyone's advice seems to be to let him cry it out, but I can't. I just can't. I will keep him in my bed for another year or more before I let him cry it out. If I could find some gentle sleep strategies I would try them but I don't know how it will help because its not the going to sleep or even the going back to sleep that is hard for him. It's the staying asleep that he totally sucks at.

Sorry for the novel.

 

[gingmg]

Briss- have you found us yet?

 

[Jazzbird]

Awwww Ging you're doing great. I really am a firm believer that your baby will have his own sleep pattern no matter what you do. I think there are things you can do to encourage sleep but ultimately they will sleep how they will sleep.

So it's great you can get him to sleep in his crib and fall asleep there! That's a big milestone - you just need to slowly remove yourself from the equation so that you put him down drowsy and kiss him goodnight then leave the room. I'm like you - I don't want to use cry it out. There are lots of helpful hints and tips in "no cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth pantley - I think there is also a section on transitioning from co sleeping arrangements.

I've tried s variety of methods to get mine to nap. She learned to self settle for the night at around 4 months. I found having a routine and sticking to it the most effective method to get her to expect sleep at 7pm. I expressed lots of milk so I could be sure she had a full tummy when I put her down. She then just started slipping off to sleep in her cot by herself. But she could always put herself back to sleep even when I helped her to sleep so I don't know what to advise specifically. I think it's just important to try and remove yourself from helping them back to sleep. But he might just learn all by himself given time.

My problems are with daytime napping. She has always been a terrible napper in the beginning not napping for 12+ hours. I was so worried I went to my doctors. Then gradually she started falling asleep in the car or her buggy or if we were at home feeding from me. I have never really managed to get her to nap by herself.

Right now I am yet again sat outside her room listening to her wail. I have tried pick up put down, shush pat, sitting with her, singing to her, stroking her face ... Nothing works. So reluctantly I am letting her cry for 5 minutes and going in to reassure her. I will probably give up after an hour.

I feel like a terrible mum but she needs to learn to sleep by herself in the day as she's so exhausted from cat napping and I need to be able to get dressed and do basic things again.

I so wish I hadn't left it this long as I think it gets harder as they get older. I've just been seduced by tales of "when they reach x months ..." Or "when they start solids" or "when they start crawling/walking/talking". Then my sister in law still has to nap with her 3 year old. Noooooo I can't end up like that.

Have faith though - it will hopefully get better with time. And I think 4 months is a rough time anyway with the 4 month sleep regression. Some of my mum friends had a horrific time for a few months with that.

And also know that everyone has a rough time with sleep at some point even if their babies are sleeping through beautifully now.

 

[gingmg]

Jazzbird- thanks for the book suggestion, I'll look into it. I hope the napping situation starts to get better for you. At least she does well overnight. She will get there, especially because you are so determined and keep working at it. What if you lie down next to her on the floor? I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions, sounds like you have tried all kinds of tactics.
I do think you are right that you can encourage good sleep habbits but you can't make a good sleeper. And you aren't a terrible mom. You are doing great and she is so lucky to have a mom that really cares if she has had enough rest or not. Well rested babies are happier babies.

 

[melly2]

You both sound exactly like me! We are having a helluva time getting her to nap long in her crib, without me by her side. If I was to lay next to her or even be in the same room, then she naps. At night, she sleeps in a sleeper next to our bed, but around 3-4 AM she wakes up for a feeding, and to be honest, I'm tired, so I just let her sleep there, which tends to work for us. I, too, swore I would not have her sleep with us, and I rationalize it by saying it's only the last few hours at night.

Regarding the napping, here's what I've been trying lately, since she's not a long napper and WILL NOT nap in her crib longer than 10 minutes. I found an album on Amazon Prime called "Baby got colic". It plays womb sounds, and I play it through my bluetooth wireless speaker next to her. She is out cold right now. However, I am in the room right now with her as she sleeps, but she is sleeping very soundly. Like you, I bounce her on the yoga ball and it soothes her, but the moment she gets overtired then she become hyper aware of everything and I spend the next two hours trying to get her down. I find that playing this bizarro womb album with bouncing soothes her to sleep quickly.

I don't want her to cry it out either. It seems harsh, in my opinion. I'd rather her soothe her to sleep as much as possible.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a bad napper. She does sleep really well at night, BUT only when we're in the room. If we put her down before we're in the bedroom she wakes up. It's almost like she senses if we're there or not. The moment we go to bed she's out for the next five hours, wakes up for a short feeding and then out for another 5-6 hours.

 

[gingmg]

Melly- j was like that too, would wake right up if I left the room. Smart kids. Sometimes it would help if I put a shirt that I had been wearing on the bed so he could still smell me in his sleep. I tried putting it on him but he woke up with it over his head... Oopppssss!
J was like that too- ten minute naps- unless I wore him. He just now at 4 months can sleep without me for longer stretches. Sounds like you are doing really well. Glad you get a good stretch at night! That in of itself is huge! The naps will come.

 

[Briss]

Hello ladies, I had no idea you set up your own pregnancy thread and found it by accident on Friday. I was lurking in 1st trimester section but did not feel comfortable to post there and only on Friday I felt brave enough to look around other pregnancy sections. Here I feel at home I have been reading through all 55 pages the entire weekend. Your pregnancy journeys are amazing!! I am so happy for you!

Kits, how are you?

 

[gingmg]

Briss- sooooo happy you found us!! I knew you would when you were ready to venture out into the pregnancy boards. How are you doing??? Can't wait to hear your updates and cheer you on!

 

[Jazzbird]

Heyyyy Briss - soooooo fantastic to see you here!!! It's a great little thread and it was just set up so we could continue our friendships and stories sensitively!

How are you doing Briss? Are you feeling ok? Hope you are managing to eat and feel well.


Ladies!!! I have good news to report - my nap training has proved very fruitful. She is now going down for her morning nap in her cot awake and grizzling off to sleep in 10-15 minutes. It basically took me about a week. The first few days she cried blue murder for about an hour after I tried all the nice gentle methods. She seemed to settle better if I just left her and periodically popped in with a reassuring touch and some words. I just wish I had tried this a bit sooner rather than feeling so frazzled and cheesed off sat for hours with my nips out whilst she continued suckling whilst asleep!!! I was happy to do it for about 6 months then I had visions of having to do it when she was 4!!!

I will say that I didn't even attempt to get her to self settle til she was 4 months gone. I don't think a lot of babies can do it before then. She was good to go at night very quickly as we stuck to bath feed bed routine since she was 2 weeks old. I really found expressing very helpful and ramming in as much milk as possible as if I breast fed she'd suck herself to sleep before she was full. You can try wake to sleep where just after they fall asleep you arouse them once you put them down and if they can they usually self settle. I swear though none of this worked before she was 4-5 months old. I think it is partly to do with development. And also luck. The babies who would only sleep on chests when home from the hospital are just very hard work and it takes time for them to be able to learn new ways of sleeping.

I think if they are sleeping in their crib for most of the night Melly - I wouldn't worry about co sleeping the last few hours. You gotta do what you gotta do!

It does get better past the 6 month mark - they are just so unpredictable before this time.

Yaaaay! Still chuffed to see Briss found us.

Xxx

 

[Briss]

Ladies, I so wish I could join you on this thread but it does not look very promising for me. I had a scan today and left the clinic in tears. I am 6W5W, but there was no HB and my HCG increased from 3,200 on 21 DPO to only 10,582 on 35 DPO – in 2 weeks! Progesterone dropped from 40 to 27 and estrogen also decreased. They talked a lot about mc, but I just switched off and did not hear much. I am desperately trying to find some kind of strength reserve somewhere in me to be able to live through this.

 

[Jazzbird]

Briss - devastated to hear this. Praying they are wrong and sending you all the love in the world. Xxx

 

[gingmg]

Oh no!! I hope they are wrong. My clinic always said they wouldn't scan until 8 weeks to make sure its not too early. I'm praying for you and your baby. I can't imagine how scary and painful this is. Hugs, love, and prayers.

 

[BBbliss]

Hello ladies, just wanted to say hi and tell you all how amazing I think you all are it's so nice to catch up and see everyone's progress.

Just really sad to also read about your day Briss, my heart broke with the news. I'm so so sorry.

 

[melly2]

Oh Briss, I'm so sad to read this. I know this is a very hard time for you, so stay hopeful and positive. It sounds like you have a good clinic you are now working with and I really do think they really can make this happen for you! This is such a hard and painful journey and we've all been through it; we are here for you!

 

[melly2]

I hope everyone is doing well.

Update on the sleep situation. I have found that if I don't Gretchen back to sleep within and 1.5 hours after she wakes up, then the rest of the day is a downward spiral of misery...for everyone. ;-) Once we get her down for her first nap, while listening to hair dryer white noise CD, then she takes a good 1-2 hour nap. Then after she wakes from that nap she'll get tired usually within 1.5-2 hours, and we need to get her down then. Then she takes another 1-2 hour nap. As the afternoon comes, she still naps, but not quite as long. We've noticed that if that first nap gets out of whack and she doesn't get a good long nap, then the rest of the day she is overtired and WILL NOT SLEEP longer than 10 minutes. Like you said Ging, there is a sweet spot to getting them down for their sleep, and if it's missed, it's hard to get them to sleep.

Thought I would pass that along as I know we've all been dealing with sleep issues.

 

[gingmg]

Melly- so glad to hear that the naps are going so well and that you have found what works for you! That's huge to recognize her patterns. J is the same- he needs to sleep two hours after he's woken up. But he only sleeps 30-60 minutes at a time. I feel like my whole day is spent trying to get him to sleep. If I lie down with him he will sleep 1-2 hours but I try to only do that when I really need to. Slowly, he is sleeping longer and longer.

Jazz- good for you getting her to take naps in her crib without you. Well done. It must be nice to have some alone time during the day now!

I ordered that no cry sleep book, haven't started reading it yet though. We had a check up this week and i really loved our new doctor ( I wasn't too fond of the first one). She said all babies will eventually sleep through the night even if you do nothing to encourage it. Its just a matter of when. Some sleep through by 3-4 months others not till two years. She said the best way to encourage it is to put them down drowsy and let them finish falling asleep in their crib. She said it doesn't even matter how many times they wake up overnight that establishing a good bedtime routine is the best thing you can do. I guess it was nice to have some reassurance.

I'm now trying to cut back on feeding overnight to see if it helps him sleep longer. Maybe if I don't feed him at 3am he will eventually stop waking up then. He's big enough now I think I can try it. So tonight I'm going to try to dream feed him at 11, only cuddle him at 1,2 or 3 (whatever time he wakes up) and wait to feed him until after 4:30 am, preferably 5. My friend said it eventually worked for her breast fed babies to get them to sleep straight from 11-5. I'd count that as sleeping through. Its so easy to feed him back to sleep- especially cuz he is usually next to me at that point. I'm going to see if it helps him sleep longer.

Anyway, hope you lovely ladies are doing well.

 

[Jazzbird]

Hey Ging!

That's great advice from your doc. I did read that gradual spacing out of feeds and shortening feed length is a good way to go. The drowsy but awake seems to be the golden rule. I found filling her up with as much milk as possible enabled her to get so sleepy that she didn't have the energy to protest. Maybe try expressing 8 ozs and seeing what he'll drink? Also helps if you can get your wife to do it so he's not like "uh no! I want to suck off you!"


Afm - we're very up and down with sleep. She now has almost cut her second tooth so thinking there is lots of teething pain. But then there's separation anxiety and developmental milestones messing it all up too! The one thing I have learned is that they have to keep leaning how to sleep through over and over again as they become more aware.

I think she is on the brink of crawling. I can see life changing dramatically! Just as she is napping in her cot, she'll now be wriggling around all day long and I'll be running around after her. Happy but tiring days ahead!!!

 

[kits]

I give up.. I've been trying to post for ages & my phones internet just conks out D;

It really sucks as my posts are quite long. Grrrrrrr...

Anyway...

Here's our amazing little Sophia Dixie, we're truly in love & have been so very blessed.

Born March, Friday 13th, 8.85lbs, 53cm. It was a very long labour but I'd happily fo it all over again.

Hopefully I'll be able to eventually post all that I've been wanting to say.


Hugs!

 

[gingmg]

Kits- congrats!! She's beautiful!! So happy for you!!