Accupuncture ladies-from TTC to BFP

[Jazzbird]

Massive congrats kits! Beautiful baby, beautiful name!!! Lots of love - enjoy the newborn moments xxx

 

[melly2]

Kits: Congratulations. She is gorgeous!! I love the name, too. I'm happy to hear that she is healthy. Would love to know more about your labor, when you get a few minutes. I know how busy and chaotic these first few weeks/months can be; hopefully she is sleeping well for you and you're getting some rest.

 

[gingmg]

How is everyone? Kits, how is it going?

 

[kits]

Ok, gonna try to post without losing it!

Things are great! My little Sophia is an amazing baby. Without bragging she'll sleep from about 1-2 through until 7ish. She will stir for an hour before she wakes as she squirms quite a lot due to wind & trying to poo. So now I just try to find solutions to what I'm being told is the beginning of colic

Labour was ok. I've had to take blood thinners during pregnancy so I wasn't going to be allowed an epidural so I was aiming for harmonious labour at our new birth centre that is all about natural, no intervention calming methods.

 

[kits]

Stupid phone internet conked out when I had just about finished writing my labour story :grrr:

To be continued...

 

[Jazzbird]

Were good thanks Ging!

8 months old already. Just had a few days of 7pm-5.30/6am - so very pleased with that and hoping it continues. I have put her into a rigid routine which I am hoping is paying dividends although she doesn't comply with wake up times. I was just tired of waking up odd hours and having an unstructured day. I think it is supposed to take a while to set in though so having a boring couple of weeks not really going anywhere and sticking to the routine like glue.

I have also replaced one Breast feed with formula as I was tired of pumping for the last feed. I feel a little sad about it but I feel it is time for me to get some time back. It's also why I've been strict with naps and ensuring she falls asleep by herself as I now get 1.5-2 hrs of daytime back. It makes all the difference to me. In fact I wonder why I didn't do it sooner!!! It's the emotional tug of war that you are so unprepared for that led me to cuddling my baby all waking hours. Having said that, separation anxiety just kicked in and she is miserable at nap and bed times so hoping this phase will pass.

I am still suffering with after birth trauma. I developed an anal fissure a few weeks after birth and sadly still have it. I'm still on laxatives & seeing a colorectal surgeon. I desperately want to avoid surgery but it's been 8 months and isn't looking good.

I am also going to start treating patients with acupuncture as an old friend who I trained with needs someone to help at her clinic as it is so busy. It will be just Saturday mornings to start with and is an ivf/infertility specialism although the patients can come with any issue. I'm excited but very nervous!! Really looking forwards to baby free time & being valued for being me again. If I enjoy it, I will expand my practice I think rather than go back to my old day job as I can work evenings & weekends and fit it around my baby.

How is everyone else doing? Hope you are all well & enjoying your babies.

 

[Jazzbird]

Ps kits - for me the only thing that kept my baby happy when she had horrible wind was to keep her close to me. Then I got a tonne of interfering comments from family saying she was going to become clingy etc. it is horrible when they have wind but it will resolve itself by 4 months.

 

[kits]

Thanks Jazzbird, any advice is appreciated as it's horrible to see them squirm so much. Currently trying infacol but not sure it's helping, going to give the second bottle a go before either trying corelief or gripe water.

Little star is 6 weeks old now (how time flies!!!) and I'm a little blue about her growing up. She's outgrown her first clothes and I can think about is cradling her forever.

Babies are amazing, love her to bits.

Jazz I'm glad you're finally able to create a bit of a routine as I know you've struggled so much. An hour and a half or two is a huge difference, are you using it more for me time?

One thing I've been trying to say for a while on topic that was being discussed is the notion as to whether we're being good mommy's. Well, my mom came over to visit 6 weeks for the birth and just before little Sophia was born she apologised for something she accused me of and I got in trouble for when I was 18!! It seems that worry and insecurity will always be with us but I think it's totally safe to say that we're all doing our very best and our babies have the best mommy's in the world. We struggled so much to get them, how could we not be?

To be continued...

 

[Jazzbird]

Kits - do you have a sling? Apparently it helps with wind to carry them close to you. I tried gripe water & dentinox but it didn't really help that much. Have you tried baby massage? This is supposed to help too. Also burp as much as you can before you put them down. You could also try a reflux wedge - I know it's not reflux but if I have a sore tummy I don't like laying flat.

I remember wind consuming all my thoughts for the first 3-4 months but it does get better by itself as their intestines mature.

I also remember that feeling of time passing too quickly and feeling very sad after a few weeks that the newborn days were flying by. If it's any consolation I enjoy my baby so much more now she is 6+ months. The first smile, giggle, full on laughter, first wave etc made my heart want to burst with love. I love her now more than the first time I saw or held her. Try to enjoy every passing moment. Take plenty of video clips. Never look to the past or the future because there are joys and challenges at each stage.

Hugs to you - those first few months are a big rollercoaster!

Xxx

 

[Jazzbird]

Ps no I'm not using it as me time sadly as there is so much housework to catch up on!!!

And I know you're right - we are good mummies just because we're worried we aren't doing a good job. I was very reluctant to give Autumn a bottle of formula as her last feed because it was taking me 2 hours a day to express enough milk. But since I gave in, I have 2 hours of time back!

 

[gingmg]

Kits- can't believe your baby girl is already 6 weeks!! I totally understand feeling sad about outgrowing the newborn clothes. I was exactly the same way. Strangely enough, I haven't felt that way about outgrowing any other size. I'm quite enjoying watching him grow and change- it was just the initial realization that it goes soooo fast that was hard. J was a bit colicky, but for him it had nothing to do with wind, he just cried (screamed) every night from 5-9pm like clockwork. The book 'the happiest baby on the block' really helped me understand the crying and how to help him when nothing else seemed to work. Then all of sudden it was over.
I'm so glad sleep is going so well for you guys! I hope you find something that helps with the wind. Would love to hear your birth story when you have time to write it.

Jazz- so glad sleep is going so well for you too! Thats awsome that she falls asleep by herself! Don't feel guilty about the bottle of formula. Pumping is a full time job!! Just do what makes things the least complicated for you.
So exciting that you will start doing acupuncture again! It will feel good to do something that you love and to have that time away. As much as I wish I didn't have to work fulltime, I love what I do and even if financially I didn't have to work, I still would- at least part time. Its so important to still be you outside of being a mom.
Sorry to hear about the fissure. Hope you don't need surgery!

Will write my updates later. Gotta run.

 

[gingmg]

As for me, we are well. J is growing so fast and its fun watching him change just about daily. He's now up on his knees and rocking back and forth. He has been sliding himself backwards for awhile and just started the military crawl these past couple of days. I have no idea how long crawling comes after this? Another month or two? He whines a lot these days, which is hard to take sometimes but I think its because he is sooo frustrated that he can't move more. I hope that gets better soon, not that I wish him to be more mobile yet.

Sleep is OK. I'm just over it to be honest. He will become a better sleeper when he is ready. We have both just accepted this is how it is for now. Some nights are awesome, some suck. He has slept through a total of 5 times now, but its not consistent and the following night could be back to every two or three hours waking up. Neither of us want to let him CIO (no judgements on people who do, its just not for us) so we are willing to ride this out. We have established a good bedtime routine with a bath inbetween the last feed and bed to break the nursing/sleep association and I think that's helping a little. Even if he wakes up now, he doesn't expect to eat every time to go back to sleep. I still feed him overnight but only if he really seems hungry and its been awhile since he last ate. I also am still trying to put him down as soon as his eyes get heavy from bouncing him so that he finishes falling asleep in the crib. Sometimes I'll hear him wake up and put himself back to sleep but that's not consistent either. Its forward progress though. Some nights we still co-sleep for the last half of the night, some we don't, it just all depends on how the night is going and how tired I am. I'm less apt to put him back in the crib at 3 or 4 am but if its 12 or 1am I do. Its a slow process but that's OK. He will get there when he is ready. Naps are a whole different story though. I've mostly given up on the crib for naps and usually just lay down with him. Since I work overnight Sun, Tues, and Thurs I'm awake for 30 hours every other day. Once I get up with him in the morning thats it I'm awake until the following morning so its a win win situation if we both can sleep a few times a day. Then when I'm sleeping during the day after I work, my wife just brings him to me every time he is hungry or tired and he will nap with me then too. I don't see anything wrong with it because he will outgrow napping long before I have a different work schedule. If i dont have to work ill nurse him to sleep and put him in the crib, but those naps dont last as long as when he's next to me. Anyway, that's sleep. Could be a lot better, but we have seen worse so I'm not complaining one bit.

Once he can sit better on his own we are going to start solids. I think we are going to do baby led weaning. I am reading a book on it now. Sounds crazy, but the more I read about it the more it makes sense to me. I've been baby led in most every other aspect so I guess I'm not surprised starting solids would be any different.

Anyway, that's all for us. So fun to hear where everyone is on this crazy journey!

 

[melly2]

Hi Everyone! It's been awhile.

Kits: So happy to hear your baby girl is sleeping well! The first few months has it's challenges as the baby is quite unpredictable (or at least, more so), but it does get better. I, too, dreaded going up a size when she moved out of newborn. My husband even cried. We were sad. She was such a cute little newborn; however, it's amazing how much they grow and change in a few short months. It's now a joy to watch her growth and progress, but at the same time, knowing that it's her journey of growing big. It's bitter sweet.

Ging: Let me know how the led-weaning goes. It sounds very interesting.

Jazz: Can't believe she' already 8 months. Wow...how time flies. Glad that she's napping better now.

Gretchen has been a good night sleeper since the beginning, only waking up once a night. But, her naps are HORRIBLE. They were at most 30 minutes, if I was lucky. I was very reluctant to try the cry-it-out method, so I just held her and soothed her for as long as I could. A women I met at a mom's event here in town mentioned the Magic Sleep Suit. She said it worked miracles for her. I have Gretchen in it now, and she's been sleeping over an 1.5 hours! She slept ALL night last night and I had to wake her to feed. Prior to this, I started to resort to napping with her, much like you, Ging. I actually enjoyed it ( I love snuggling with her), but was getting nothing done around the house or work, but I was getting plenty of sleep. I feel like the whole sleep thing is a work in progress. Also, I think G is starting to teethe. She has every indication of it, and has been very fussy lately, like she's in pain. Her four month well-baby check is in a week, so I'll be curious what the pediatrician has to say. It's a bit early for teeth, but you never know.

That's my update. Sounds like everyone is doing well. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with sleep and doubting myself. Babies change constantly, so once you think you've figured out one thing, they go changing, and get fussy about something else. I guess it's hard growing big. ;-)

 

[gingmg]

Melly- what's that sleep suit? Sounds like a miracle. J is probably too big for one of those now? I wonder if you are right about the teething. I didn't know this until recently that teething pain can start months before the actual teeth pop through. Who knew? Have you decided what you are going to do about work?

 

[gingmg]

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my post when I said sleep training wasn't for us. I understand why people do and most people I know in real life who had bad sleepers did CIO. Jazz bird you are soooo right when you said that it was the emotional tug that you were unprepared for that left you cuddling your baby for every nap. I guess that's where I am still. Maybe I'll look back in a few months and wish we did things differently but for now this is where we are. I really hope you know I have no judgements on choices other people make. We all love our babies and are only doing what we think is best. And sometimes what's best changes as our children change. Xoxo

 

[Jazzbird]

Ging - don't worry at all. I never took any offence at all. I completely understand that sleep training isn't for everyone. I would say that there are very gentle methods like just putting them down when they are very very drowsy. Often you will find they just drop off peacefully. I just didn't want to end up like my sister in law who is still co-sleeping with her 3 year old daughter whilst her husband co-sleeps with their 5 year old son. It still takes her 2-3 hours a day to get them to sleep. She is so exhausted. But she's obviously a very extreme case.

I was lucky to get my baby to fall asleep at night by herself without doing any serious sleep training. Naps however I did do a few days of her crying with me crying outside her door!

At the end of the day, you just have to do what works for you and your baby. We did a mix of purée and baby led weaning. Purée to introduce different tastes and flavours and to also help her understand that food can stop hunger; baby led weaning to let her explore textures, shapes & colours. She definitely would prefer to feed herself all the time but I don't have hours to watch her pick food up, squish it and then throw it on the floor or rub into her hair, face & clothes!

Anyway, for what it's worth I think we are evolutionarily designed to have babies attached to us 24/7, it's just we live in a world where this is no longer convenient for a lot of people.

Happy weekend to everyone!

 

[gingmg]

I just finished reading "the no cry sleep solution" and I loved it! We are having company this weekend but after they leave I am going to really try to track his sleep and follow the suggestions in the book. Sounds like it could take a couple of months but for some reason I really do believe this is going to help us.

 

[melly2]

Ging: Let me know how your new sleeping method works. I have Gretchen on a fairly predictable schedule now. The Magic Sleep Suit works wonders, but I am also now putting her to bed by 7PM. At first, I thought this was too early, but it seems to make a world of difference. In fact, I could probably even put her to bed by 6-6:30PM. One night she slept until 7AM without waking once! 12 straight hours. Most of the time, she'll wake up around 4-6AM to feed, but still, she is getting at least 8-9+ hours of un-interrupted sleep. Regarding her naps. They are now much better. She naps at least three times a day, and they're now starting to be between 45 minutes-1 hour long. Very rarely are they ever longer. She seems to just be sleeping better overall. I also have her sleeping her crib about 90% of the time. I do still bring her to bed with me when she wakes up to feed. I do love snuggling with her. ;-)

I think everyone has to find the method that works for them. There is no right or wrong way, just whatever you feel comfortable with.

Regarding work, I am working 10 hours/week from home. I have a part-time nanny who comes for about six hours per week, and that's been really helpful. I can concentrate on work while she plays with the baby and puts her down for her naps, otherwise I would feel compelled to get up and entertain her.

Today is Gretchen's four month well-baby check. I'm anxious to see how she's growing. Her weight is still on the small side, but that's always been the case since she was born. I think I'm making enough milk for her, but I always seem to doubt myself.

Hope everyone is doing well!

I was curious, has anyone starting thinking about if or when you would try for baby #2? Of course, it's too soon after these births, but just curious if any one has discussed this yet, as if you're anything like me, you like to plan ahead. Also, age is no longer on my side.

 

[Jazzbird]

Melly - sounds like you're doing an amazing job with your baby - raising an excellent sleeper. I really feel so much better and happier after a decent night.

I don't know about baby number 2 - we are undecided. I found the first 6 months of pregnancy so rough with morning sickness and I still don't feel 100% recovered from the birth. I'm still on laxatives to avoid re-tearing the fissure I had which has now healed. I'm scared to come off laxatives.

However, going to be 39 in November so feel that we need to think about number 2 before Christmas if we decide to have another. My baby girl is so sociable I feel a sibling would be wonderful for her ... But on the flip side I feel like life is just getting into some normality again. Tricky really. My oh still had chronic fatigue as well which makes me think 2 might push him over the edge. We've coped but only because I did all the night feeds and 90% of the childcare. If we have another he'd have to be a lot more involved.

Gahhhh I don't know - it's just not an easy decision.

Afm, things reached desperation a few weeks ago. She started waking again 45 minutes after falling asleep then at least once in the night taking an hour to go back and then waking up for good at 5.

I contacted a sleep consultant who couldn't fit me in til this week - so I bought the book of the programme she teaches. I can't believe I'm saying this (for fear of jinxing it) but 2 nights after using the very gentle techniques, she has slept 7-6 for 3 nights in a row. She can wake but goes back to sleep by herself!

It's called sleep sense and is based on gradual retreat. So you sit by the cot and can comfort them as they cry, but you stay with them til they fall asleep. After a few nights you move the chair into the middle of the room, then after a few more nights you move it into the doorway. She did cry for an hour on and off the first night but I didn't feel too bad because I was right next to her comforting her.

The thing I missed really was that although she could fall asleep by herself you also need to teach them to go back to sleep by themselves. That was what I was missing.

I also use the same method to extend her naps.

Feeling so much happier at the moment with a few more zzzzzs!

 

[kits]

Phone got an upgrade so here goes!

On Thursday morning, 6am-ish I woke to my first contraction. It was pretty strong & the pain went down my thighs but I didn't get my next one for about 20 minutes so I just went back to sleep. Rest of the day I didn't do much. Took a long shower with oh to help with contractions but other than that I dilly dallied (bounce on ball type of thing) more than anything else.

By night time around 10 pm contractions started to be a bit more regular around 5-6 minutes apart so I went in to the birthing centre to check progress but I had only dilated by 1cm so of course they sent me home with some codeine. By about 1am the contractions were getting more acute so I rang up the birthing centre but they weren't being too pleasant with me & basically told me to suck it up and have a bath.

So I did but the bath didn't do much other than relax me a bit. I tried to be more positive about the pain & just took it in while oh & my mom slept.

It was almost 3am when I woke oh up because my contractions were then about 3-4 minutes apart. I was still being positive & strong, I was quite proud of myself , when all of a sudden my contractions went mega intense and were just a constant back to back. The pain was insane, I started to sweat buckets and just couldn't move. My mom & oh began to panic and tried to get me up to the car but I couldn't move, the pain was bad. so I rang the ambulance thinking they could help because I freaked out with the pain. The lady on the phone wanted my oh to deliver baby right then which freaked me out even more & just shouted no.

Took the ambulance half an hour to arrive because the freeway had closed but what I didn't know is that they couldn't do anything. I had never really had an emergency in the UK so I thought the ambulance would be similar to usa & that they'd actually be able to help but I was dead wrong. All they did was eventually made me get up & down the stairs & drive me to the hospital. I thought they'd be able to help with something like pain relief, a stretcher or anything because I was in such a bad shape. I think I scared myself & my labour to death because my contractions slowed down to a few minutes apart just before I managed to make my way into the ambulance.

Never mind. I said there's no way I'm going to the birthing centre as they had been a bit nasty to me and I really wanted some strong pain relief. by the time I was at the hospital it was about 4am and can you believe I had only dilated to 3cm! I was like, wtf! I didn't think I was that much of a chicken. :/ My contractions slowed down & were about 5 minutes apart again when I saw my doctor who gave me the go ahead to get on the epidural.

After they hooked me up everything was fine, I absolutely loved the gas & air and miraculously I was loving everyone and in a very happy place. They popped my waters and noticed there was green to it so poor little baby had gotten distressed but apparently not enough for them to believe i should be induced.

It took all day for me to finally dilate enough to begin pushing and after kicking a nurse, giving my doctor some ridiculously evil looks & a change in staff by 10:25pm we finally had our little girl. I had 5 tears but I didn't care. I was in labour for over 40 hours but I'd happily do it all over (which I'll talk about in another post).

During the last hours I did get a fever during labour so they put me on antibiotics immediately and I ended up staying in hospital for a week while they ran so many tests on me & my little girl trying to find what caused a so called infection. They even gave her a lumbar puncture!! but they found nothing.

I finally went home and even though I was really struggling to breastfeed I kept trying while I was also expressing. Within a week a had fevers again & went to hospital as I got a nasty case of mastitis and they couldn't get my fever down below 40℃ for a few days so my mom & oh looked after my little girl for a few days until they moved me back to the maternity ward to finish my treatment. There I was able to have my daughter with me until I finally got released having been there a week again.

So there you have it! Finally, going to click submit & see what happens!