I don't know why I play the testing game honestly. I did it again this morning.
Then I cried. I wish I did not care enough to test. I don't know if that is wording it right. With #1 I tested the day my period was due, literally. There was no drama, no mistaking the line. With my ectopic I tested and tested and my period was late and finally, I got a faint positive and I knew something was wrong - and it was. With #2 I tested early and got a faint BFP the first time at 8/9DPO. I guess since I got a positive so early with her, I now get antsy come 8 or 9DPO today. That is the only way I can describe it. Plus I am terrified about another ectopic so I obsessively check. This whole process is really starting to wear me down. I don't temp anymore because that also wore me out. I would literally wake up every hour of the night when I was temping because I was so anxious about temping. When my mind knows I have to wake up early to do something or the same time every day, I get too much anxiety. So I can't temp.
I wish I knew what to do ladies... I wish I knew how to better manage my anxiety and just go with the flow. I know that is what has driven DH away from TTC. I got obsessive and pushed too hard.