After the BFP...TTC #1 "Graduates"

[beaglemom]

I feel good. The bleeding only lasted a day...def from the pap. I get tired in the evenings & don't get much done. I need to get back on the nursery. We took a bit of a break but now the dressers are in my living room...not good.

 

[savvysaver]

Floridasian, when do you find out the genders?

Beaglemom, I can't wait to see the finished nursery!!

Allison, how is Owen doing?

Suzy, any baby news yet?

Sarah and Moni...you are getting close too! Another few weeks?

Jen, you still hanging around on here?

Did I miss anyone?

The twins will be 4 months tomorrow! I cannot believe it.

 

[floridasian]

We finally told family and friends this weekend when we went to visit for Easter. Everyone was shocked but very happy for us. We've been married for 9.5 years so I guess everyone thought we weren't interested in having kids. And double shocked when they found out it was twins!

I'll take a picture tomorrow for my 16 week bump but I'm feeling huge (even my doctor said I was huge - thanks doc!) I think my belly button is about to pop any day now! It's uncomfortable to move sometimes. If I'm sitting back on the couch I need some help getting up. When I get out of bed I have to roll to one side first then get up.

I've also been having a lot of hip pains the past week or so. It varies in severity but it's so painful at times I can barely walk! When it hurts every step I take is extremely painful. I mentioned it to the doctor at my 15 week check up and he said it was normal and taking a hot bath might help. I haven't had a chance to try it yet but definitely will have to soon.

MIL is going to throw me a baby shower. We'll see how that goes! I've finally started buying larger items. I ordered two pack n play's - one with a napper/changer and one with just a bassinet. I figured they can't be changed at the same time so one changer is enough. We also picked up a gently used baby swing for $30 (I think it retails for about $150) on the way to the in-laws for Easter. We need two of everything though so we still have a lot of work to do!

Next appointment isn't until the 22nd when I have my anatomy scan. That is also when I'll find out the genders for both babies. I'll be so excited I probably won't be able to sleep the night before!

Hope everyone had a good Easter and can't wait for more babies to arrive here!!

 

[floridasian]

By the way DH had a few "slip-ups" when we told people. When he told his aunt and that she was the 4th person to know, he said, yes, other than people at the Center for Reproductive Medicine. I was like, "OH MY GOD - why did you just say that??" Obviously we didn't tell anyone we were going through fertility treatments and he knew that was a mistake right after he said it but it was too late. We were just hoping that people (his aunt and FIL who was also present) didn't pick up on it.

And on top of that, he kept giving people the actual EDD. I told him NOT to tell people the actual date because it's not going to happen on that date, especially for twins. When he told it to another friend, his wife said, oh yeah, my husband said you told him that you couldn't come to visit because you said "WE had a doctor's appointment the next day", and she thought it was weird because it wasn't that "I" and "she" had a doctor's appointment, but "WE" had an appointment. She immediately put the two and two together and probably figured out that happened before I got my BFP.

Good job, hubby!!

 

[beaglemom]

floridasian - exciting to be able to tell people. Were you able to hide it at all? As far as showing? I am sorry you are getting uncomfortable so quickly. I have been having a rough few days...I think my baby is trying to play catch up & give me crap before the 1st tri is over.

As far as the specialists go, everyone is allowed to do their own thing...but I found it very easy to tell people & quite liberating. It also opened up a lot of people to tell me their own issues or issues of their friends. Plus we told everyone the gender so they were asking how we knew so early. But I only had a couple of friends who knew while we were doing it & my boss which was like a must...so I don't count him. My husband is also really open about it. Although we haven't really told anyone the specific issue. Only because it is a male factor & people have a stigma like he is not a real man if he has low sperm count which is so stupid. My husband says he isn't hiding that fact but he is also not shouting it from the roof tops.

 

[beaglemom]

Oh & yeh if you ever go on a road trip, def map out used baby stores to stop at on the way since your town doesn't have a lot.

I am trying to find more maternity on ebay. A lot of this stuff is just plain UGLY! I am having so much more luck on ebay than anywhere else. Even Walmart & Target which is cheaper just has ugly stuff...or the dresses/skirts come above the knee or all the way to the ground. I like it in the middle...I do not like wearing above the knee to work...& floor length is always way too long. I put on a dress I thought would last me a while today...well I was wrong! It is so tight on top. I can't wait to get home & put on my husband's tee shirt

 

[allisonmh]

That's so exciting you got to tell everyone, floridasian! I bet that was fun! I can't imagine having to get 2 of everything, my living room is so full of baby stuff as it is! Lol. I can't wait to hear the genders of both! I hope it's a boy and a girl! And my husband was so open about saying we went to a fertility dr too. I didn't tell many people, but he told everyone and it made me feel awkward for some reason.

Glad you're feeling good beaglemom! I agree that so many maternity things are ugly! Have you checked out Zulily? They had some cute stuff sometimes. It takes longer to get things, but if you order them a little bigger than you need now, it should work. Also check out Ross if you have those there, I had some good luck there a few times. You're at that awkward stage where you just feel fat instead of pregnant. I hated that stage. I felt like people thought I had a beer gut rather than a bump. Lol

 

[floridasian]

No, I wasn't able to hide it so we pretty much had to tell people very soon after we saw them.

Saturday was a little cool so I had a coat on and you couldn't tell when I had it on. But it was weird to walk around indoors with a coat on so we had to tell shortly after we arrived and everyone could see it once I took off the coat.

Sunday and Monday it got quite warm so I was hiding the bump with my giant purse and kind of crossed my arms in front of my belly until we told.

Yes the cheaper maternity stuff is pretty ugly. I find most Old Navy stuff pretty ugly. We only have two racks of maternity clothing at my local Target so eBay is where I shop. We stopped by an outlet mall on the way home yesterday and they had a Motherhood Maternity outlet. Geez it was expensive! Even the clearance stuff was still expensive. I was looking at a clearance blouse that I thought was nice until I saw the price tag - $49.99 clearance! What?

Here's the card we gave to my in-laws, signed DH, myself, Baby A and Baby B. They were a little slow in picking up the twins part. I had to point it out to them!

 

[floridasian]

By the way, beaglemom, I'm glad you are able to share your struggles with others. I'm just not that brave I guess!

 

[beaglemom]

The motherhood website has better deals. Check out their clearance. I just didn't find anything right for me.

Stores like Ross are pretty good... And cheap. I have gone to zulilly. I will check again.

I love your card!

Yeh sharing is not for everyone. I was just surprised at how open I became about it with no hesitation.

 

[beaglemom]

Motherhood's sale right now is buy one get one free clearance...lots to choose from & good prices on most.

 

[Suzy18]

Hi girls,

So I'm still pregnant and I'm going to be induced tomorrow. Baby just won't come out. My OB told me my cervix is still hard and closed so...
I'm getting more nervous by the minute but hopefully all will go well.
I will post an update as soon as I can.
I can't wait to meet my beautiful baby!!!

xxx

 

[allisonmh]

Suzy! So exciting! Good luck and I hope all goes well! Update us and post a pic when you can!!!

 

[savvysaver]

Good luck Suzy!! Thinking of you and can't wait for your announcement.

Floridasian, that is awesome you made your big announcement! Your story sounds like mine...we have been married for 10 years so no one expected us to be pregnant and couldn't believe it was twins! Such a cute card that you made, I bet everyone was thrilled with your news!!

It is great to see how open some of you are about your fertility issues. So many people don't talk about fertility or miscarriages, etc. Obviously everyone has the right to keep that information private. I don't know how many of you remember that last year I went to see a fertility specialist and found out I was pregnant the next day. While my twins are natural...or spontaneous is what the doctors referred to them. I would get upset if someone asked me, I figured most people thought I used medicine or procedures to conceive twins. To me a baby is a baby...there is no difference in how that baby was conceived it was a gift from God and we were blessed to have two. Talking to everyone here and posting our struggles and finally our good news, we are all so lucky to be where we are now vs. November 2013 when our group started to form. I never imagined the journey I would take and I am so thankful to have met everyone here. It was nice to learn so much and have cheerleaders just waiting for the bfp and keeping my spirits up.

That was a long ramble while I am rocking a baby and I hope I didn't offend anyone. I am thankful to the doctors I saw at the reproductive center, While they didn't get me pregnant....they put me on progesterone immediately and saved these twins. I wish it was more acceptable to talk about fertility, it isn't easy to go through it alone.

 

[beaglemom]

Savvy - I totally agree with what you are saying. We have actually opened up on FB as well...we did not do any kind of announcement about the infertility. But I just started a photo album including the pic of us at the retrieval in our scrubs as well as a pic of our embryo...so people will get it. I have not had anyone show any relating on FB...but I have also not had any negativity either. No one has been nosey asking specifics. I would not be offended if someone asked about twins being from fertility drugs...but I would def go nuts on anyone offering up their judgements.

 

[savvysaver]

Beaglemom, I think I get more annoyed then offended when people ask me about the twins. I think most people assume twins are from fertility treatments. I guess my point is that it really doesn't matter how the baby (babies) were conceived. They are all equal in my mind. It is great you can be so open on Facebook and with your friends, you might help out someone just because you are open about your pregnancy. I wish when I had my miscarriage there would have been some real life support, besides you girls, my parents and like two other people I never told anyone else what happened since people just don't discuss it. I wish I could have been more open about my situation.

4 months old today! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. They are getting so big. We are finally getting a lot of smiles and giggles. A lot of things they are where a 4 month old would be and some things they are where a two month old would be...oh the odd joys of a preemie!

 

[floridasian]

So far I had one SIL that asked DH (at least she didn't ask ME) if it was an "accident" or planned. I told DH he should have told her that it doesn't take 9.5 years for an "accident" to happen! And there was another family friend who asked if I did drugs that make gazillion babies (his words, not mine). DH assumed he was asking about IVF or IUI so he shook his head. FIL asked if twins ran in my family (and it actually did - my grandmother had twins but they died shortly after birth).

Other than that most people just congratulated us and kept it at that but as we tell more people I'm sure there will be more that assume twins are conceived through fertility treatments.

We chose not to share our struggle mostly because my parents aren't as understanding. My mother blamed me for my miscarriage and if I told her we were struggling and needed help she would have said "I told you so!" as she had been pushing for us to have kids even before the wedding. I just couldn't take the pressure from her.

Can't believe your girls are 4 months old already, savvy!

Best of luck Suzy and hope everything goes well!!!

 

[beaglemom]

Floridasian - I was very nervous on my mom's reaction. Obviously all parents are different. My relationship has never been what I consider close. We are not the kind that just share everything. She also tends to respond to life negatively out of fear. So I knew if I told her our struggle she would insist it was not meant to be...not worth the money...or even offer to help which she is not in any shape to do. I didn't want her to be scared or hurt for us. I only wanted her to feel the joy...not the struggle. So we told her I was pregnant & about the IVF. She was like what is that, I don't know what that means. We explained it...she referred in a joking way to my baby as a "fake" baby. And the rest was just joy over a new grandchild. We were so relieved. And she insisted on coming to the first scan. I hate that your mother was like that towards you. My mom has never asked about kids. I think because my sister got pregnant at 15 & my mom herself got pregnant at 18 & basically got married because of it. I was next & not exaclty planned. My parents were never meant to be together. So I think she is a bit sour on marriage & kids...she loves my husband & her grandchildren of course. But considering her having kids was not really her choice...I think she clearly sees how marriage & kids can tie someone down. She didn't ask for a lot of specifics. I showed her the tube he was frozen in & his embryo pic. I think it was a lot for her to process. But the first scan she was just amazed. I don't think she has ever been able to see a baby so little. Also my sister was a bit overwhelmed...she also had 2 unexpected kids. So she can't comprehend someone in our family not being able to get pregnant...or even planning a pregnancy.

 

[floridasian]

16 week twin bump!

 

[allisonmh]

There's defintely no hiding that bump! So cute!