Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[Pearls18]

I wish the stranger raising my child would potty train him for me, but alas apparently that is my job!

 

[bumpy_j]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

Same here, Joel is going to Nursery once he hits 2 and don't feel bad about it whatsoever - he's a really shy boy around strangers and still doesn't talk so hoping it makes him gain a little more confidence since I don't really know anyone round this town which may have hindered some of his potential social skills.

 

[aliss]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

Oh my, how very DARE you put your child to nursery when you could be looking after them yourself. I mean, you let a STRANGER raise your child whilst you sit at home drinking coffee. Shame on you.


Oh dear me, the boredom. That was the worst. Plus, at 18 months mine was not moving about, nor could you do the fun things like painting or messy play or play doh etc as she couldn't properly sit to do them. She needed constant attention just to keep her occupied. And I mean, pretty much every minute of every day. I thanked the lord for BabyTV in those days.

Yep, poor kid spends 8 hours a day running around with 3 other boys his age in a jungle gym rather than play with a teacup set with me at home while I'm trying to feed his baby brother like the other 2 days

 

[aliss]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

Same here, Joel is going to Nursery once he hits 2 and don't feel bad about it whatsoever - he's a really shy boy around strangers and still doesn't talk so hoping it makes him gain a little more confidence since I don't really know anyone round this town which may have hindered some of his potential social skills.

I think Joel will really enjoy it! Mine loooves it! I put him in it to help him learn French (it's a French daycare), which is something I can't teach him.

 

[pinklightbulb]

This thread is making me want to put Eamon into a family daycare a couple of times a week... now to get him vaccinated so we can mwah ha hah...

 

[Foogirl]

Yep, poor kid spends 8 hours a day running around with 3 other boys his age in a jungle gym rather than play with a teacup set with me at home while I'm trying to feed his baby brother like the other 2 days

This is what I keep saying too. Nursery has waaaay better stuff than we have at home. For a start, they have glitter - this is banned in our house. And they don't have an aneurism if she takes a paint brush with red paint and dips it in the blue.....

But on a serious note, for us it also means wider access to OT, physio, learning support etc. That's definitely a good thing.

And sorry Marine, our nursery does potty training too!

 

[Eternal]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

Mine has got me to the position I am today, with my high powered job and wage. If I were to take 2/3/4 years off for the baby I would spend another 6-10 years building myself back up. This is the way my industry is, and I wouldn't have it any other way really, I adore my job and I'm not willing to compromise my career, baby will fit in nicely after my years mat leave.

For some a degree is a degree, mine is so much more, it's essential to career progression, experience and job value.

I'm just saying that lots of SAHM's are educated and accomplished as well. I was a Marketing Director once upon a time. I'm not wasting my degree by choosing to stay at home with my babies. I'm sacrificing the career for now but I'm not wasting anything. I just didn't like they way you implied beig a SAHM was a waste of a degree. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and that's why I'm pointing it out.

But it does depend on the career, I was a nurse, once upon a time, and because I haven't worked since my eldest my registration has lapsed, so I cannot go back without doing courses and training again.

 

[Dk1234]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

Mine has got me to the position I am today, with my high powered job and wage. If I were to take 2/3/4 years off for the baby I would spend another 6-10 years building myself back up. This is the way my industry is, and I wouldn't have it any other way really, I adore my job and I'm not willing to compromise my career, baby will fit in nicely after my years mat leave.

For some a degree is a degree, mine is so much more, it's essential to career progression, experience and job value.

I'm just saying that lots of SAHM's are educated and accomplished as well. I was a Marketing Director once upon a time. I'm not wasting my degree by choosing to stay at home with my babies. I'm sacrificing the career for now but I'm not wasting anything. I just didn't like they way you implied beig a SAHM was a waste of a degree. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and that's why I'm pointing it out.

But it does depend on the career, I was a nurse, once upon a time, and because I haven't worked since my eldest my registration has lapsed, so I cannot go back without doing courses and training again.

I wouldn't exactly call that a waste. And you could have kept up your license at least in America while still being a SAHM by going to classes and things. I don't think you've wasted anything. Your degree is still there. You csn go back to being a nurse. if you were working you would have still had to doing CEU's at least in america. I consider my time as a SAHM a lot of things but def not a waste of a degree.

 

[Foogirl]

5 years (until a child is school age) is a long time to be out of my profession. They only let you keep the professional qualification on if you are employed, unless you are on maternity leave. If you are out of the organisation for more than 5 years you have to re-qualify and that process takes 2 years. There are no classes or anything you can do in between, you have to actually be doing the job. So if I were to be a SAHM, til our hoped for second child is at school, I'd be out of the profession for almost ten years. It would then take me 2 years to re-qualify. This would mean any promotion prospects were severely hampered. I'm a senior at the moment and at that rate I'd barely be an associate by the time I retired. To have taken a degree when I was 24 for the sole reason of allowing me to rise to the top of my career (and you can't become chartered without the degree), and yet end up in the same position had I not taken the degree, does mean mine would have been wasted.

That said, I'm not overly bothered about it as wherever I end up, I love the job I do. And if I'd been keen to be a SAHM, I'd happily have wasted it.

One thing to note though, is that regardless of whether or not a qualification is deemed to be wasted to the person holding it, their skill and expertise is lost to the industry for the time they are not working and where you had a government funded tertiary education system like we had (yes UK ladies, I'm THAT old ) I suppose that could be seen as a waste of the degree, in macroeconomic terms. Obviously that's not applicable where students pay for their own education.

 

[TennisGal]

I was lucky enough to attend a prestigious university and do a degree very relevant to my career. I am now a Sahm.

I absolutely do not think I have wasted my degree. Not at all. In the years I've been working, I've contributed very positively to my field - and I feel that by staying at home and raising my children, I can hopefully impart my love of learning and help them achieve their dreams. To me, that's anything but a waste.

It is possible to stay abreast of the working world, and I've been assured I could go back...although the reality of that from both sides may not be quite there

Just like I don't judge working mothers. Different things work for different people...I also don't like the inference (not from here, just talking generally) that lots of Sahm are witless wonders who waste their potential mopping up weetabix! For me, teaching and raising my girls is of utmost importance. I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity.

Like I said, though, we are all happy making choices that work for our families. That's what's important.

It's very, very unfair to cast stones at working mothers and sahms alike.

 

[blhanson1]

delete

 

[pinklightbulb]

I was in daycare for most of my early life as well as with my Nan. It didn't do me any harm and some days I was one of those 7am-6pm kids in the creche if nobody could pick me up till then.

 

[charlie_lael]

I can't imagine leaving my son for 30 minutes, let alone 12 hours! I mean wow... I don't understand why both parents would have to work 12+ hours five days a week anyway. Unless they have horribly massive debt!

The original post didn't offend me but I have to say this did, myself and oh work 5 days a week, not to pull ourselves out of debt but just to live. We don't survive on benefits (yes we accept help towards childcare) but we have our own mortgage and car and bills to pay for. We don't have luxuries, and we save for our children's future. Some of us just simply don't have the choice.

I didn't mean it like that and I believe I stated in a different comment that I can totally understand if you have to take care of your family financially. Maybe read further along in the thread before quoting someone?

Actually the thread had progressed that fast that by the time I had written my post there was a new page. I just think it's incredibly naive of you to come out with something like that. If you mean what you say about finances maybe you should have put it in your first post and not had to have explained yourself later on?

I would have, but I was typing with one hand and had my son in the other. You know how it is. He gets rather grumpy if I'm on the computer for more than five minutes.

 

[smokey]

I would love to know what a fathers take on this is seen as alot of them have to go off to work about 6am and by the time they get home most kids are in bed so only realy see them at weekends

 

[Dk1234]

I don't think it's ideal for a father to not see a child all day either. You gotta do what you gotta do but both parent should spend some quality time with children most days if possible. We don't put my son to bed until 9 so that he can spend some time with dad.

 

[Pink Flowers]

I would love to know what a fathers take on this is seen as alot of them have to go off to work about 6am and by the time they get home most kids are in bed so only realy see them at weekends

I told OH about this thread and he said he works 12 hour shifts 2 days a week and doesn't see LO for 2 days straight sometimes!

 

[Pearls18]

I would love to know what a fathers take on this is seen as alot of them have to go off to work about 6am and by the time they get home most kids are in bed so only realy see them at weekends

That's the double standard isn't it though, too many people don't bat an eye lid about a father working it is what they expect, but when a mother wants to work as well it's gasp, shock, horror. I have had some terrible reactions in the past mainly because I am a military wife and work, lots of people think I should be making up for the fact DH is away so much by not working myself, unfortunately mostly within the military community. I feel guilty about lots of things as a mother, nobody is perfect, but the fact my child goes to daycare 4 days a week 8am-6pm is not one of them.

 

[Dk1234]

I would love to know what a fathers take on this is seen as alot of them have to go off to work about 6am and by the time they get home most kids are in bed so only realy see them at weekends

That's the double standard isn't it though, too many people don't bat an eye lid about a father working it is what they expect, but when a mother wants to work as well it's gasp, shock, horror. I have had some terrible reactions in the past mainly because I am a military wife and work, lots of people think I should be making up for the fact DH is away so much by not working myself, unfortunately mostly within the military community. I feel guilty about lots of things as a mother, nobody is perfect, but the fact my child goes to daycare 4 days a week 8am-6pm is not one of them.

I don't think it's so much a double standard as the way our society views parenting roles. The mother is traditionally the nurturer. There is even scientific evidence behind it.

 

[Pink Flowers]

If I earnt more oh would be a sahd but then im sure he would like a break too.

 

[Dk1234]

If I earnt more oh would be a sahd but then im sure he would like a break too.

My husband would not consider being a sahd a break. He would never be able to do it.