Am i the only one who thinks this is wrong?

[cissyhope]

What if you want to work tho is that selfish? Yes we do need the money but I also enjoy my job x

I think thats only a question you can answer...If your baby and family are happy then surely it cant be wrong?


how long are you away from your bub?


i wouldnt want to be away from my babies but then i worked full time till my thirties till i had my bubs and its what i feel i was put on this earth to do I love it and im in a good position where im a SAHM although to do this we have cut down our life style to accommodate...

my personal opinion is the OP was a bit clumsy with her words and perhaps naive however in our society its been breed into us that we can have every thing... well i dont think we can to a point,i think we spread our selves so thinly that something has to give.... yin and yang a balance which i know is hard! but the secret to life IMHO

I do however think its not good for a young baby to be away from its mum or carer for too long but as i have said in previous posts,im no expert just a mum that goes on feelings...

 

[cissyhope]

I haven't seen anyone say what's the point of having children if you can't breast feed.

ah well yes that is true... but was that the only bit you were upset with? if so then yes you are right x

 

[Scottish mum]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

 

[sue_88]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

 

[cissyhope]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

To me thats sounds a good balance..im trying to see if i can afford to put my
toddler in nursery monday for a morning or afternoon to start with..

 

[Pink Flowers]

I personally have never had to put LO into child care. Our intentions was that I went back to work when he was 9 months old and he went FT to nursery. We couldn't afford it where we used to live.

He starts pre school in the next few weeks, he is really excited and I am looking forward to the break. I work shifts and my OH works shifts, it is hard! we did it all so we could spend more time with LO.

When LO starts school and the baby is about a yearish I will be going back to work FT and baby will be going to nursery. we don't need the money, maybe I am being selfish. But when that time comes I might change my mind but at the moment its an option we are thinking of taking, we both want the best possible life for our children.

Maybe we are wrong for wanting to be able to afford nice things, holidays and all that stuff.

No one has said this is wrong.

I wasn't saying it was wrong, I was saying maybe other people see it as wrong.

If I could have afforded it when I was due back to work LO would have gone to nursery 5 days a week 7 am till 6pm. so yes I would have been "them" mums that leaves their children for nearly 12 hours

 

[Dk1234]

What if you want to work tho is that selfish? Yes we do need the money but I also enjoy my job x

No. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. It isn't easy, it isn't all rainbows and sunshine.

 

[Pink Flowers]

What if you want to work tho is that selfish? Yes we do need the money but I also enjoy my job x

No. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. It isn't easy, it isn't all rainbows and sunshine.

I agree with that 100% DK. I thought I would love it, I do but I find it bloody hard, 2 years and I was ready to go back to work, admittedly I only work a few hours but I needed the break.

 

[Dk1234]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

 

[Dk1234]

I personally have never had to put LO into child care. Our intentions was that I went back to work when he was 9 months old and he went FT to nursery. We couldn't afford it where we used to live.

He starts pre school in the next few weeks, he is really excited and I am looking forward to the break. I work shifts and my OH works shifts, it is hard! we did it all so we could spend more time with LO.

When LO starts school and the baby is about a yearish I will be going back to work FT and baby will be going to nursery. we don't need the money, maybe I am being selfish. But when that time comes I might change my mind but at the moment its an option we are thinking of taking, we both want the best possible life for our children.

Maybe we are wrong for wanting to be able to afford nice things, holidays and all that stuff.

No one has said this is wrong.

I wasn't saying it was wrong, I was saying maybe other people see it as wrong.

If I could have afforded it when I was due back to work LO would have gone to nursery 5 days a week 7 am till 6pm. so yes I would have been "them" mums that leaves their children for nearly 12 hours

First of all you said maybe were wrong for wanting to afford nice things. And I was saying no one has said that's wrong. I mean we all want nice things for our kids. I'm a SAHM but I clip coupons, make my own baby food, and bf all to save money.

2nd nearly 12 hours and 12 hours isn't the same thing. 5 hours a week with LO extra is a lot.

 

[sue_88]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

Mine has got me to the position I am today, with my high powered job and wage. If I were to take 2/3/4 years off for the baby I would spend another 6-10 years building myself back up. This is the way my industry is, and I wouldn't have it any other way really, I adore my job and I'm not willing to compromise my career, baby will fit in nicely after my years mat leave.

For some a degree is a degree, mine is so much more, it's essential to career progression, experience and job value.

 

[Dk1234]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

Mine has got me to the position I am today, with my high powered job and wage. If I were to take 2/3/4 years off for the baby I would spend another 6-10 years building myself back up. This is the way my industry is, and I wouldn't have it any other way really, I adore my job and I'm not willing to compromise my career, baby will fit in nicely after my years mat leave.

For some a degree is a degree, mine is so much more, it's essential to career progression, experience and job value.

I'm just saying that lots of SAHM's are educated and accomplished as well. I was a Marketing Director once upon a time. I'm not wasting my degree by choosing to stay at home with my babies. I'm sacrificing the career for now but I'm not wasting anything. I just didn't like they way you implied beig a SAHM was a waste of a degree. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and that's why I'm pointing it out.

 

[sue_88]

I'm planning on having lo at a nursery for maybe 3 times a week might just be a few hours here or there might be more! I love my lo to bits but I'm not a sahm material lol the heavens didn't open for me and give me that rush of passion to stay home with lo. I worked hard for my career and I think you can have both but with alot of organisation! Plus I'll just be part time x

Im the same, only not part time. I want to go back full time. I'm not prepared to take that cut in wages or waste the £27k I spent on my degree.

I am a SAHM 98% of the time and I wouldn't say I'm wasting my degree. A degree never goes anywhere.

Mine has got me to the position I am today, with my high powered job and wage. If I were to take 2/3/4 years off for the baby I would spend another 6-10 years building myself back up. This is the way my industry is, and I wouldn't have it any other way really, I adore my job and I'm not willing to compromise my career, baby will fit in nicely after my years mat leave.

For some a degree is a degree, mine is so much more, it's essential to career progression, experience and job value.

I'm just saying that lots of SAHM's are educated and accomplished as well. I was a Marketing Director once upon a time. I'm not wasting my degree by choosing to stay at home with my babies. I'm sacrificing the career for now but I'm not wasting anything. I just didn't like they way you implied beig a SAHM was a waste of a degree. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way and that's why I'm pointing it out.

In that you are correct.
I've not actually ever commented on a SAHM or that choice in particular to do that with ones life.

I personally am not willing to sacrifice my career, as in doing so I would be wasting the money I spent on my degree due to dropping right back down the ladder. That was what my post said.

 

[Foogirl]

What if you want to work tho is that selfish? Yes we do need the money but I also enjoy my job x

Same here. We could afford for me to drop my hours. We could probably scrape by on one salary. Just. But after 17 months of maternity leave / parental leave, I was climbing the walls to get back to work. Abby does 3 days at nursery and 4 days with us. The nursery is close to my work so she is there 8.30 - 5.15.

I love my job and worked hard to get where I am. Sure, if I was keen to be a SAHM I'd throw that away in a heartbeat, but I'm not.

If Mr Foo and I were on lower salaries, and there was no nursery near my work, it is conceivable we'd have to have a 7.30 start in nursery and not be able to pick her up til 6, 5 days a week. I wouldn't like it but I'd do it if it meant keeping a roof over our heads.

I have no opinion on people who use a nursery 7-7, whether they do it because they have to or because they want to. If it suits them to do it, I don't see it is any of anyone's business. I actually think it was VERY unprofessional of the nursery staff to make any comment about what their other clients do. Those clients pay their wages. They should remember that.

 

[aliss]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

 

[Scottish mum]

Yes I think it would be bloody hard work being a sahm! X

 

[Foogirl]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

Oh my, how very DARE you put your child to nursery when you could be looking after them yourself. I mean, you let a STRANGER raise your child whilst you sit at home drinking coffee. Shame on you.


Oh dear me, the boredom. That was the worst. Plus, at 18 months mine was not moving about, nor could you do the fun things like painting or messy play or play doh etc as she couldn't properly sit to do them. She needed constant attention just to keep her occupied. And I mean, pretty much every minute of every day. I thanked the lord for BabyTV in those days.

 

[Indigo77]

 

[Scottish mum]

My oldest goes to nursery 8am-4pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And I don't even work, lol! Have 'at her. Being a SAHM (for me) got very boring by age 2, so I was quite happy to send him to his preschool and he is happy too! Not sure what is worse, 60 hours of work or 24 hours of not working and just hanging out at home without him... muhaha!

Love it : )

 

[Pearls18]

*note to self trying not to take this thread personally lol*

Not everyone works just for the money, some people have fulfilling careers, our working lives take up a large proportion of our short lives so we should try to enjoy them if we can afterall. Why should there be moral allowances for people who do it for the money, they could try living a lower key life after all (playing devil's advocate on that point), to those who work because they want to for whatever reason, I am certainly grateful to my female GP for being a working mum I tell you that much. My point it doesn't matter why the parent is working. A child isn't being abandoned, they are being left in the qualified care of nursery professionals, with structured fun, learning and meal times. I love that I can afford for DS to do this 4 days a week. We make the most of the time we have together and have a fantastic time, yep he has breakfast, lunch and dinner there...I wouldn't want him to go hungry after all....

I haven't heard of social services requesting the removal of children from homes with full time working parents just yet.