~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[louandivy]

Ahhh thedog I didn't realise who you were, I'd wondered here you had gone! Thats really unfair of your OH, you can't help that you suffer with this Have you spoken to him properly yet?

I've just got back from a 2 week trip to Canada, the most challenging thing since I've been in recovery. The last time I was over there visiting family and friends

Spoiler

I weighed about six and a half stone and spent most of the trip smoking, drinking diet coke and secretly binging and purging

. Its soo difficult going back, I just feel like everyone is looking at me thinking about how fat I look now I feel like I have no identity, my eating disorder was my identity, even if it made me a pretty nasty person I am fighting so hard with my desire to restrict right now, for the first time in ages I am genuinely scared that I don't have the strength to stay in recovery. I don't want to talk to my mum about it because she will just get so upset and scared and we live hours away from each other so she can't really help. I have never had treatment in Bristol either so all my old support team are too far away for me to go back to. And my OH just doesn't understand

 

[thedog]

Ahhh thedog I didn't realise who you were, I'd wondered here you had gone! Thats really unfair of your OH, you can't help that you suffer with this Have you spoken to him properly yet?

I've just got back from a 2 week trip to Canada, the most challenging thing since I've been in recovery. The last time I was over there visiting family and friends

Spoiler

I weighed about six and a half stone and spent most of the trip smoking, drinking diet coke and secretly binging and purging

. Its soo difficult going back, I just feel like everyone is looking at me thinking about how fat I look now I feel like I have no identity, my eating disorder was my identity, even if it made me a pretty nasty person I am fighting so hard with my desire to restrict right now, for the first time in ages I am genuinely scared that I don't have the strength to stay in recovery. I don't want to talk to my mum about it because she will just get so upset and scared and we live hours away from each other so she can't really help. I have never had treatment in Bristol either so all my old support team are too far away for me to go back to. And my OH just doesn't understand

Oh no i'm sorry you are feeling bad again, please don't relapse, did you have a better time though this time round in Canada? Is there no way you could contact your old support team even if its just over the phone for now? Is it really far away where you were before you moved to Bristol? Sorry for all the questions!

I wondered where you were on the rest of the forum lol i didn't realise you were on holiday

He doesn't know completely how i feel, though we had a row in Asda today

Spoiler

He went to get loads of cakes/junky crap so i stressed at him and said you wonder why i do daft week fasts then binge and hate myself, he then bought some healthy food thank god so i am safe for now and don't have the urge to binge, though still restricting

We are also going away to his home town in October for Halloween so that adds the stress as his ex lives there i don't think he likes her now shes changed, but shes about half my size or something and blonde.. aaaargghh!!! I don't know for definite we are going yet though. xxx

 

[mayb_baby]

so fighting with him exhausts me to the point of throwing up the little contents of my stomach

 

[Char.due.jan]

Spoiler

I put on 2lbs

I feel so sickened with myself. Why can't I just be thin and normal. Not have to look at this mess everyday!

 

[mayb_baby]

Spoiler

I put on 2lbs

I feel so sickened with myself. Why can't I just be thin and normal. Not have to look at this mess everyday!

You'r gorgeous hunny

 

[thedog]

to you both xxxxxx

 

[annawrigley]

to you all

 

[mayb_baby]

I'm worried with university it's too easy to distract myself and be too busy to eat, that I will lose loads of weight and be freezing this winter. I hate the cold and last year we had snow for over 4 months and I can't stick it. I remember being underweight and being freezing 24/7 just living on tea and soup and losing more weight by continuously having the flu
Anyone else scared of the cold ?

 

[Arisa]

battled with bullmia since age 16 and my periods stopped for four months due to my extreme dieting. its an awful disorder but then again when you are bullied and called fat,despite being tall and normal size, you start to believe voices you know?
i think this is what happens to a lot of us, we were not fat or even overweight to begin with but people told us we were, beit family members, school kids or a spouse and we just felt they were right because its easier to listen to negative reinforcements than positive. its hard and a long road in terms of recovery but it does get easier, medication helps me personally

is anyone else on meds they find useful?

 

[thedog]

I'm worried with university it's too easy to distract myself and be too busy to eat, that I will lose loads of weight and be freezing this winter. I hate the cold and last year we had snow for over 4 months and I can't stick it. I remember being underweight and being freezing 24/7 just living on tea and soup and losing more weight by continuously having the flu
Anyone else scared of the cold ?

I don't know but for some reason my weight loss was always more obvious during the winter... i tended to lose more faster if that makes sense.. x

 

[louandivy]

battled with bullmia since age 16 and my periods stopped for four months due to my extreme dieting. its an awful disorder but then again when you are bullied and called fat,despite being tall and normal size, you start to believe voices you know?
i think this is what happens to a lot of us, we were not fat or even overweight to begin with but people told us we were, beit family members, school kids or a spouse and we just felt they were right because its easier to listen to negative reinforcements than positive. its hard and a long road in terms of recovery but it does get easier, medication helps me personally

is anyone else on meds they find useful?

What meds are you on? In treatment they put me on Zyprexa, it was horrible Made me feel so lethargic that I remember one morning I couldn't even pick up my phone. Then when I was discharged I did some research and found out that one of the side effects is extreme weight gain so I never touched it again! I was having panic attacks in the hospital so the nurses pretty much told me I HAD to take it, I should have just said no.

 

[louandivy]

Ahhh thedog I didn't realise who you were, I'd wondered here you had gone! Thats really unfair of your OH, you can't help that you suffer with this Have you spoken to him properly yet?

I've just got back from a 2 week trip to Canada, the most challenging thing since I've been in recovery. The last time I was over there visiting family and friends

Spoiler

I weighed about six and a half stone and spent most of the trip smoking, drinking diet coke and secretly binging and purging

. Its soo difficult going back, I just feel like everyone is looking at me thinking about how fat I look now I feel like I have no identity, my eating disorder was my identity, even if it made me a pretty nasty person I am fighting so hard with my desire to restrict right now, for the first time in ages I am genuinely scared that I don't have the strength to stay in recovery. I don't want to talk to my mum about it because she will just get so upset and scared and we live hours away from each other so she can't really help. I have never had treatment in Bristol either so all my old support team are too far away for me to go back to. And my OH just doesn't understand

Oh no i'm sorry you are feeling bad again, please don't relapse, did you have a better time though this time round in Canada? Is there no way you could contact your old support team even if its just over the phone for now? Is it really far away where you were before you moved to Bristol? Sorry for all the questions!

I wondered where you were on the rest of the forum lol i didn't realise you were on holiday

He doesn't know completely how i feel, though we had a row in Asda today

Spoiler

He went to get loads of cakes/junky crap so i stressed at him and said you wonder why i do daft week fasts then binge and hate myself, he then bought some healthy food thank god so i am safe for now and don't have the urge to binge, though still restricting

We are also going away to his home town in October for Halloween so that adds the stress as his ex lives there i don't think he likes her now shes changed, but shes about half my size or something and blonde.. aaaargghh!!! I don't know for definite we are going yet though. xxx

You are gorgeous and YOU are the one that he has started a family with, not his ex! I'm sure you know that restricting will always lead to binging, its such a vicious cycle isn't it? But its so hard to get out of it

I probably could call my old support team but all my treatment was paid for by my mum's partners health insurance and there is no way I could afford to pay it myself! Thats why I find it so hard to trust consultants who supposedly want to help you, because as soon as you are out of money you never hear from them again I suppose it is a blessing that I can barely skip one meal without feeling faint and sick these days, its like my body just won't let me even entertain the idea of abusing it again! I just can't look after Ivy when I restrict, I have to keep reminding myself of that. I just need to resist the temptation to purge. Thanks for the support hun

 

[thedog]

Ahhh thedog I didn't realise who you were, I'd wondered here you had gone! Thats really unfair of your OH, you can't help that you suffer with this Have you spoken to him properly yet?

I've just got back from a 2 week trip to Canada, the most challenging thing since I've been in recovery. The last time I was over there visiting family and friends

Spoiler

I weighed about six and a half stone and spent most of the trip smoking, drinking diet coke and secretly binging and purging

. Its soo difficult going back, I just feel like everyone is looking at me thinking about how fat I look now I feel like I have no identity, my eating disorder was my identity, even if it made me a pretty nasty person I am fighting so hard with my desire to restrict right now, for the first time in ages I am genuinely scared that I don't have the strength to stay in recovery. I don't want to talk to my mum about it because she will just get so upset and scared and we live hours away from each other so she can't really help. I have never had treatment in Bristol either so all my old support team are too far away for me to go back to. And my OH just doesn't understand

Oh no i'm sorry you are feeling bad again, please don't relapse, did you have a better time though this time round in Canada? Is there no way you could contact your old support team even if its just over the phone for now? Is it really far away where you were before you moved to Bristol? Sorry for all the questions!

I wondered where you were on the rest of the forum lol i didn't realise you were on holiday

He doesn't know completely how i feel, though we had a row in Asda today

Spoiler

He went to get loads of cakes/junky crap so i stressed at him and said you wonder why i do daft week fasts then binge and hate myself, he then bought some healthy food thank god so i am safe for now and don't have the urge to binge, though still restricting

We are also going away to his home town in October for Halloween so that adds the stress as his ex lives there i don't think he likes her now shes changed, but shes about half my size or something and blonde.. aaaargghh!!! I don't know for definite we are going yet though. xxx

You are gorgeous and YOU are the one that he has started a family with, not his ex! I'm sure you know that restricting will always lead to binging, its such a vicious cycle isn't it? But its so hard to get out of it

I probably could call my old support team but all my treatment was paid for by my mum's partners health insurance and there is no way I could afford to pay it myself! Thats why I find it so hard to trust consultants who supposedly want to help you, because as soon as you are out of money you never hear from them again I suppose it is a blessing that I can barely skip one meal without feeling faint and sick these days, its like my body just won't let me even entertain the idea of abusing it again! I just can't look after Ivy when I restrict, I have to keep reminding myself of that. I just need to resist the temptation to purge. Thanks for the support hun

I know what you mean, restricting and fasting used to be SO easy, now i'm always weak/breaking into a swet or cold chill unless i eat regularly. Thats so awful they just cut you off, have you heard of B-eat? They're an ED org who can forward you to further help, i haven't looked at all the in's and out's but its worth a shot. My only advice to distract you from Purging is to do something you really enjoy, which you were unable to do when ill with the ED, something which makes you happy, so you don't go down that path again xxxxxx

 

[mayb_baby]

Spoiler

I am 7stn 11 2lb down this week
But it's back to under 800 calories again

 

[Groovychick]

Spoiler

I am 7stn 11 2lb down this week
But it's back to under 800 calories again

Out of curiosity hun, may I ask your height?

 

[annawrigley]

Spoiler

I am 7stn 11 2lb down this week
But it's back to under 800 calories again

Out of curiosity hun, may I ask your height?

She's 5'0

 

[mayb_baby]

Yup 5ft as Anna says well some docs say 5ft some 5ft 1 meh still a short ass lol :/
BMI is 21.0 so I'm healthy

 

[thedog]

N'awww 5ft! i wish i was shorter lol i'm 5'6!!

 

[cowboys angel]

I'm 5'4"...lol

 

[thedog]

lol! xxxx