~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Love Bunny]

Thanks hun

How are you doing?

Urgh worst part about it is I actually went out and BROUGHT scales we dont have any and I went and bought bloody mechanical ones so I can't do the battery trick GAH!!!!

Its not *TOO* bad. but I want that stone and a half GONE. Maybe 2 if I'm feeling challeneged!

xxx

 

[Love Bunny]

I feel so unhealthy and manky its untrue! its not even like ive been eating shit either healings not happening anytime soon either! I'm gonna try a 30 day detox I spoke to my herbalist and she thinks its a good idea! she getting me some colon cleansing tablets and some herbal supplements to flush out the crap and "revitalise" me I might start a journal but I noticed someones got shut down and I don't want a negative response as i think this will be quite beneficial to my health! Humph.

How are you guys doiiing? xxx

 

[pixydust]

i feel so rubbish
i spent most of the morning crying.. pretty pathetic really

i've put on like half a stone feels like LOADS more than that as well!
all in the attempt to become some amazingly healthy baby making machine and its NOT working!!
its an impossible situation really, or thats how it feels...

when i did fall pregnant my eating habits were pretty damn awful, well almost non-existant tbh, i cant say for sure thats the reason i miscarried (i feel terrible saying this) but it probably contributed.

hmm then i feel depressed, then i start to slip and half of me just wants to let myself slip right back...


this probably makes no sense... blah

 

[Love Bunny]

Awwww hun of course that wasn't your fault babe don't ever let yourself think that!

xx

 

[shocker]

huge hugs pixy, it wasnt your fault at all
I just got back from the new doctor shes so much nicer than my last one! shes just a person, instead of a robot which is nice, i like her approach aswell, its all breathing techniques and meditation instead of drugs which makes such a change! I was in a great mood when i left and then i bought a chocolate brownie, i dont know why it just looked nice and ive never had one before OMG EW i had a piece and now i feel ridiculously sick im like a balloon uch im trying to distract myself from it and failing miserably

 

[craftymum]

I really feel for all you girls, this may be the wrong place to ask this but my 17 year old daughter is currently anorexic and is being threatened with hospital admission - which they will force on her if she can't turn things a,round, they've already put the referral in this week her BMI is only around 14 and she is a tall girl too. This is really difficult for us all right now as we are so worried about her, she has been suffering chest pain and dizziness for a while now. I just wondered if anyone had been in hospital for this and could maybe give me an idea of what to expect - everything really from how long you were in to how visiting works and what a typical day was like. Thanks in advance x

 

[shocker]

im really sorry to hear that, i havnt done long term inpatient but a couple of my friends from the outpatient hospital have.I've just been in for short term (few days) stays to fix dehydration and things like that. At the inpatient hospitals length varies a lot depending on how well she responds to treatment (unfortunatly it also sometimes depends on how long insurance will cover) but usually its 3-6 months if its a specialist eating disorder unit which hopefully it would be, if its just a general hospital it wouldnt be as long, just until she gets her bmi up to a safe level.Visiting can be restricted if she doesnt co-operate with treatment, like if she wont eat her meals then she'll be put on bedrest and not allowed any visitors.If she co-operates with the doctors then she would be allowed visitors but usually only close family and often friends arent allowed.Going on what i've been told (so not sure it would be exactly the same) a typical day would be getting up at 7am and being brought to have breakfast, they weigh you once a week before breakfast aswell but will measure her backwards so she doesnt see.They'll watch her while shes eating to make sure she doesnt hide anything and theyre always supervised in the bathroom.Theres usually a time limit on how long you can spend over a meal aswell and in some hospitals they make all the patients eat together, personally i dont think thats beneficial but they seem to think it is Most places do art therapy,group therapy, individual therapy and also family therapy, theres classes on nutrition and classes on how to maintain a healthy body image.After shes released she will be monitored closely for at least one year (outpatient), with counselling and weigh ins to make sure shes sticking with the program.
Eating disorders affect the whole family i think and you might find it helpful to contact a support group, theres a few here but im not sure about england, as its pretty stressful and upsetting.One thing i would like to say is that, while she might be angry sometimes about being made to eat she doesnt mean it, its not her its another person and with your love and support she can come through this If you have any other questions dont hesitate to ask, i'll ask someone if i dont know the answer xx

 

[craftymum]

Thanks so much that is so helpful, we're in Northern Ireland so we have the NHS here so it would be free. It is a specialist unit and there's actually a new one opening this week. It's for young people 13-18 so at least she'd be with other girls around her own age. As for cooperating I can't see her doing that readily as she still thinks she hasn't got an eating disorder. It is so so difficult and it breaks my heart the very thought of them having to detain her under the mental health act but there is no way she would go in willingly. Its very hard as at the minute we attend a clinic twice weekly and she gets weighed both times, they also insist we prepare her food and make her eat with us but she is 17, we are not specialists and we also have a 4 month old baby to look after too so it makes it so difficult, any food I prepare for her she just chucks it straight in the bin and then makes her own, she is still counting calories and weighing all her food and we feel powerless as we can't make her do what she needs to do. As much as I don't want her to go into hospital, if it will get her better again then I would rather it was sooner than later as I feel so helpless and exhausted and just find it so hard to deal with it all as the therapists we see expect me to stay in the house with her all day but I can't do that either.
There is a support group but it's not very handy to us and with my hubby's work he can't get more time off than he has been doing for these meetings, it also doesn't suit us with Jacob as we can't get him minded at the times.
My daughter has just shut herself off from everyone and everything she had to drop out of school as she was too ill to continue and she has no confidence at all she has even stopped communicating with her very best friend (I have been able to contact her though to tell her how things are).
This last 2 days she has been trying to eat a bit more but to be honest I think she's only doing it to keep the people at the clinic off her back, she refuses to speak to them when we go up which makes it very awkward and she wont let us leave her on her own which means we can't really tell them how things really are at home. It just feels like we are getting nowhere fast and in the meantime our daughter is just getting more ill. She was complaining today of pains in her legs like in her veins? She has to go for a bone density scan soon and weekly monitoring with our GP too for ECG and BP I think.
Thanks again for your help, it's good to hear it from someone who understands what it is like. I really feel for all you girls, this illness is awful and so complicated too, it must be so hard for you all going through it whilst pregnant too. My thoughts are with you all xxx

 

[shocker]

Reading your posts makes me just want to give you and your daughter such a massive hug Im doing quite well at the moment and when I think back to everything i put my family through im actually so ashamed of my behaviour and the way i treated them.Its really good that your daughter is 17 because once shes over 18 things get a lot harder treatment wise, especially if she still believes she hasnt got a problem.Your right about the doctors aswell, they assume that every parent has the time to sit down every meal time and reassure you while you eat nobody has the time to do that! Theres nothing you could say or do right now that could make her eat and i know that must be heartbreaking because you want to be able to make it ok for her but right now she just cant see that your trying to help. I spent the last 3 years of school at a differant school that where more understanding and also because i had lost all of my friends.Its emotionally draining dealing with someone with an eating disorder, i hope i dont cause offence by saying this but personally i was (and still am at times if im honest) extreemly selfish in my actions, its a case of im doing this and if anyone trys to stop me then i'll do anything to make them leave me and my ed alone.You think your winning when everyone leaves because its proof that they never cared in the first place and really the things that go through your head are things no one in their right mind would ever even think about No doubt the reason shes stopped talking to her friend is because her friend was trying to get her to eat, telling her she looked sick and things like that, she just wants to be alone with this right now but she cant be.Getting pains in her legs could be from over exercising, you might think she doesnt but unfortunatly when things are this bad its pretty usual to get up in the middle of the night and exercise in secret when everyones asleep Is there long until she gets admitted? I would really push for it to be as soon as possible if you can, even if she gains 5lbs and says shes fine.I've done it before, gaining weight and pretending i was fine to escape treatment and looking back you always end up wishing you'd just accepted the help when you had the chance.For now all i can say is try not to get angry, shes already stressed out so much and as frustrating as it is it wont help either of you to shout.Oh and im sorry but i feel the need to mention this, does she use the internet a lot? Its just there are a lot of sites out there that girls think are for 'support' when in fact its really just sick people helping others to get sicker, so just be aware of that if she spends a lot of time online.Both you and your daughter might find this website helpful though, its a very good source of info and support, they have a forum for family and friends and also a forum for people going through it https://www.something-fishy.org/sitemap.php

 

[Tegans Mama]

I really feel for all you girls, this may be the wrong place to ask this but my 17 year old daughter is currently anorexic and is being threatened with hospital admission - which they will force on her if she can't turn things a,round, they've already put the referral in this week her BMI is only around 14 and she is a tall girl too. This is really difficult for us all right now as we are so worried about her, she has been suffering chest pain and dizziness for a while now. I just wondered if anyone had been in hospital for this and could maybe give me an idea of what to expect - everything really from how long you were in to how visiting works and what a typical day was like. Thanks in advance x

I've been admitted a few times, each time for 3+ months. Each time I was on a strict regime of eating, light excercise, and being weighed once a week.
Visiting was the same as the rest of the hospital - 9-5 (or something similar, its been a few years since I was admitted now..) I had a target weight, a target BMI, and had to keep food diary once I was out. Each time I lasted a total of 6 months before I was readmitted (this happened 4 times.) Your daughter will really need the support of her family, you will have to watch her like a hawk once she comes out, because I stayed in hospital, got up to my target weight of 10st, and as soon as I walked out the door I was back to my old habits, every single time, apart from the last time. I was discharged in December 06, met my partner in March 09 and started eating. I've been 'ok'-ish since then, until now.

I slipped under the radar when I moved out of my Mums house, I didn't have a single checkup, no one asked me about my ED whilst I was pregnant. In August this year I went back to MHS, and started treatment again for other issues, but was also having issues with my ED. Since then its slowly gotten worse and worse and now I feel a slippery slope to being back where I started, I'm so ashamed of myself for lying to OH for so long

 

[QuintinsMommy]

Decided to look this up after a purging episode,so many people I know in this thread :O I wasn't even sure if someone would have wrote anything about EDs. my Ed started when I was 13, and my lowest weight was 104. My weight has been up and down the past few year. I was at 137 at 12 weeks and gained 70 pounds now I HATE my body and can't get off the scale, I overate like crazy when I was pregnant.
now I feel like I'm back to binging and purging and I feel bad, now that I live alone theirs no one to hide it from as well so I find it much easier.
my dad came over with pizza and pop and I binged ='( He left me all the left overs, and I had to throw them all out, and poor all the pop out.
and purge. I just want to be back to a normal weight, none of my clothes fit and I hate the way i look='(

 

[annawrigley]

One thing i would like to say is that, while she might be angry sometimes about being made to eat she doesnt mean it, its not her its another person and with your love and support she can come through this

thats so true, she might end up saying some pretty hurtful things to you but its not her talking its the illness.x

 

[craftymum]

Thanks everyone, we have another appointment in the morning at the clinic but it feels like such a waste of time as we're not actually getting anywhere. My daughter wont speak or even look at them and we can't get her to get up and come down to us for meal times. She has to be in control of her own food but the people at the clinic have said that we need to be but that's easy for them as anything we try to make her just gets thrown straight in the bin. The referral was put in on Monday for hospital and they were having a meeting on Friday about it so we will know more tomorrow. They said that they appreciate that she is trying but as she is not gaining any weight it's worrying as it's not enough. As much as I hate the thought of her going in to hosp especially if she has to be sectioned I would rather that than her dying on us - and without meaning to sound selfish I really need a break from it all too

 

[craftymum]

Well found out today that if my daughter has to go into hospital - which from their talk it's looking very likely - that she could be in for 6-12 months maybe more!! I really didn't expect it to be that long She's so scared and I hate the thought of her being in there all alone and scared and upset.
We also got an invite today to go up and view the unit she would be staying in so we're trying to convince her to go, if not we may go on our own anyway, as it'll give us the opportunity to ask lots of questions about how things work.

 

[Love Bunny]

Awwww sweetie its for the best When I was in it wasn't so bad - think of it less as hospitalisation and more of a break!! Thats what I did ! The 1st step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, after that it gets easier It made it ALOT easier to recover having my life organised and sorted out for me - that way I could function properly as I was given everything I needed ^_^ xxx

 

[jen1604]

Really sorry to hear about your daughter Craftymum I bet it all seems so scary and overwhelming for all of you right now.
I've never done inpatient treatment but have close friends that have and while it is intense and she might be away from you for quite a long amount of time then if you've got to the stage where she needs to be admitted then it really really is the best thing for her.I'm sure you know that already though.
Lots of hugs and here if you want to chat.xxx

 

[jen1604]

Decided to look this up after a purging episode,so many people I know in this thread :O I wasn't even sure if someone would have wrote anything about EDs. my Ed started when I was 13, and my lowest weight was 104. My weight has been up and down the past few year. I was at 137 at 12 weeks and gained 70 pounds now I HATE my body and can't get off the scale, I overate like crazy when I was pregnant.
now I feel like I'm back to binging and purging and I feel bad, now that I live alone theirs no one to hide it from as well so I find it much easier.
my dad came over with pizza and pop and I binged ='( He left me all the left overs, and I had to throw them all out, and poor all the pop out.
and purge. I just want to be back to a normal weight, none of my clothes fit and I hate the way i look='(

Just after you have a baby is such a vulnerable time for relapsing.Try and remember you dont need to lose all the weight as quickly as you can.
I know exactly how you're feeling right now (because I feel like it aswell)

The way I try and deal with it is try and make sure I mostly have healthy food ONLY in the house that way there is less of a chance for me to binge on junk and then feel like I need to purge it out again.

Ended up having my first major binge/purge in a long while last week when I got caught out with leftover pizza in the house

Lots of hugs
xxxxxx

 

[Nienna]

I have just seen this thread. I have been suffering from ED since I was about 13, I'm now 27 although I have been coping with food well since I met my husband 4 years ago as he has been a great support to me. He and my mum banned weighing scales entirely as I weighed myself up to 10+ times a day. It was a total obsession. I was hospitilised twice. One occasion was due to having entirely burned out the lining of my stomach from drinking salt water and taking laxitives without having any more food than a bit of fruit in my stomach.
I was a small size 8, but healthy, when I got pregnant so was petrified of the weight gain. On the first MW appointment, my husband requested that I was not to know what my weight was at any time and the MW agreed it was wise, so I still have no idea what I weigh. Throughout my pregnancy I ate very well. I had a few lapses and felt very low but in general I was grand. I even did some modelling while I was pregnant and that kept me quite upbeat. I had my daughter 3 weeks ago, I am feeling things harder just now. I still don't fit any of my old clothes. I am still in my maternity jeans and even though I can see the shrinkage on my stomach, I am finding it hard. I'm struggling with eating enough at the moment, but I am trying to keep my head straight and I will say that having my little girl to concentrate on does make things easier.
I am afraid of relapsing, but one thing I find helps is being ebtirely honest about having an ED, not being afraid of people knowing so there is always support around me. Any time I feel it is getting to me I go straight to my husband and tell him and he talks me through it.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I had my son a day before you nienna
I also can't fit into any of my old clothes,=(

 

[Nienna]

I had my son a day before you nienna
I also can't fit into any of my old clothes,=(

Thankyou preggoeggo, it's easier knowing others are the same. I had myself convinced I'd be back in some of my stuff already and was down when I'm not. I have a pair of size 10 baggy jeans which were my comfy, hip jeans with a chunky belt. They won't even go over my hips let alone sit on them and get a belt round too!!