~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[Georgie90]

i didnt know there was one of these threads!!

im not pregnant is that ok?
x

 

[Love Bunny]

Of course ^_^ welcome xxxx

 

[shocker]

hehe omg love bunny just saw your sig!! good luck hun cant wait to see a pic of your little bunny hehe

 

[tasha41]

Hi girls. Hope you all had a lovely holiday.

Spoilered this for privacy & to avoid a trigger post for anyone else.

Spoiler

I don't want to really post about this on the open forum bc I hate putting anything about my ED out there for all my BnB friends to see iykwm. I am a private person about this and some of the things I've gone through in my life, I don't want any of it to define me and some of it I just want to leave behind me if that makes sense! I don't want people thinking about it when I'm having a conversation with them about something unrelated you know?

I think I may be on the verge of relapsing though. I am my heaviest non-pregnant weight of my life, I am ACTUALLY overweight, I want to diet and do it all properly but I don't know how... and it feels easier for some reason to just fall back into old habits? I don't even want to diet though I just want to wake up tomorrow and be thin. Stupidly this morning I took 2 caffiene pills, 2 diet pills w/ hoodia, 2 B vitamin complex pills and one of those herbal fat blocker things you can pick up at the drugstore on an empty tummy with just water, and I felt like shit all day, didn't eat, had a fight with my OH, probably because I was hungry and grumpy and ate like 6 cookies and now feel like I've undone all of my "hard work". I actually tried to throw up later but I think I left it for too long, plus it has been sooo long.

Oddly enough when I was like super close to being just 100lbs I still felt super fat. I remember for like a minute being so happy when I weighed myself and I was 104, that I was close to my goal, but then pissed bc I wasn't already there. And now I feel like I'd kill to be that size, I want to go back in time and slap myself for not appreciating what I had Will I even be happy IF I ever got down to 100lbs? Is there satisfaction if you ever reach your "goal weight"? Or do you just keep setting new goals?

I have so many friends going on vacations in the next couple of months and I am jealous because I want to go away to somewhere hot for a week and leave the cold weather, but then I'm not because I wouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit and I wouldn't enjoy myself.

F you, ED.

 

[Georgie90]

Hi girls. Hope you all had a lovely holiday.

Spoilered this for privacy & to avoid a trigger post for anyone else.

Spoiler

I don't want to really post about this on the open forum bc I hate putting anything about my ED out there for all my BnB friends to see iykwm. I am a private person about this and some of the things I've gone through in my life, I don't want any of it to define me and some of it I just want to leave behind me if that makes sense! I don't want people thinking about it when I'm having a conversation with them about something unrelated you know?

I think I may be on the verge of relapsing though. I am my heaviest non-pregnant weight of my life, I am ACTUALLY overweight, I want to diet and do it all properly but I don't know how... and it feels easier for some reason to just fall back into old habits? I don't even want to diet though I just want to wake up tomorrow and be thin. Stupidly this morning I took 2 caffiene pills, 2 diet pills w/ hoodia, 2 B vitamin complex pills and one of those herbal fat blocker things you can pick up at the drugstore on an empty tummy with just water, and I felt like shit all day, didn't eat, had a fight with my OH, probably because I was hungry and grumpy and ate like 6 cookies and now feel like I've undone all of my "hard work". I actually tried to throw up later but I think I left it for too long, plus it has been sooo long.

Oddly enough when I was like super close to being just 100lbs I still felt super fat. I remember for like a minute being so happy when I weighed myself and I was 104, that I was close to my goal, but then pissed bc I wasn't already there. And now I feel like I'd kill to be that size, I want to go back in time and slap myself for not appreciating what I had Will I even be happy IF I ever got down to 100lbs? Is there satisfaction if you ever reach your "goal weight"? Or do you just keep setting new goals?

I have so many friends going on vacations in the next couple of months and I am jealous because I want to go away to somewhere hot for a week and leave the cold weather, but then I'm not because I wouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit and I wouldn't enjoy myself.

F you, ED.

Tasha,

Firstly I am another one finding it really hard with an ED to diet…my ‘New Year’ diet started today, I am too at my heaviest weight I have ever been, a lady said to me yesterday ‘you’re lying about your ED, people with proper EDs can never let themselves get fat’ :cries: Now until that point I didn’t consider myself as ‘Fat’ I knew that I was carrying some extra weight and I am a bit ‘porky’ but I wouldn’t let the word fat get into my head…the moment she said I was though, was the moment I wanted to run to the toilet and stick my fingers down my throat…I too just want to wake up and be skinny…but we need to do it properly and careful Hun, we can’t the ED ruin us…and take over again…xxx

All I have had this morning is a cereal bar but it is only 9.30…I am going to make myself have a banana at 11.00, and am going for a run tonight but limit myself to 20 minutes…I have never properly introduced myself to this thread so will type out my history today for you…xx

Be Strong Hun…Don’t let this get back on top!
xxxxxx

 

[tasha41]

Thanks hun for responding. I'm so sorry about the comment that woman made to you I understand how one comment can trigger you.. hope you had a good day

 

[Georgie90]

I done well today! Without going overboard! How about you? How you feeling now? Sorry I don't know your whole story x x x x

 

[tasha41]

Still only 2:30pm here so I have to get through dinner still. Doing pretty good so far.

 

[Georgie90]

Keep it up hun! I always find the evenings the hardest..x

 

[tasha41]

Me too, I could easily eat nothing all day, I don't have a huge appetite for lunch and I don't like to eat first thing in the morning, I feel sick if I eat too soon iykwim. I know breakfast is important though so I am trying to make sure I always eat breakfast as part of my new years goals.

But when my family is having dinner, and they don't care, like tonight they are ordering pizza ffs.. like obviously I want to eat with them, what they're eating you know? I could make a salad or something and have a salad plus one slice but I wanna have pizza and pop like everyone else is, even if it's bad And if I don't eat a dinner or enough at dinner I find myself munching all evening!!

 

[Georgie90]

Same!! And I want sweets! And oh chocolate...ahh x I could torture myself x

 

[Love Bunny]

Sorry I've not been around ladies I've been rushed off my feet! Urgh haven't eaten in about a week :'( not even that I don't want to I just feel so poorly from the split stitches and the painkillers I'm on are renownd appatite supressants too so not good :'( ! haven't dared weigh myself yet... might consider it next week when I'm feeling brave x

hope you are all okay xxxx

 

[Love Bunny]

Gah - FAT FAT FAT. Thats what I'm feeling at the mo yuuuuuuuck.

My OH is back at work on monday as much as I hate that I can't help being pleased with the fact he can't be here to make me EAT. Ever since I've stopped being pregnant i've just lost my WHOLE appatite

I thought it was the painkillers I was on but I've been off them for a week and I still feel the same?! Its like the old days. I'm just floating through the day without the need for food...

I'm desperate to start getting out more but its just too friggin cold and wet! I mean, I don't mind so much but I don't really like taking boo out when the weathers horrible like this

Looks like I'll be getting the abs cruncher out ladies I wish I had a treadmill!

Hope your all doing okayy, not heard from anyone in a while xxxxxxxxxx

 

[jen1604]

Ugh I know how you are feeling Love Bunny!
Feeling huge too and really having to MAKE myself eat.I am expressing milk a few times a day for my little guy so really have to force myself to get the calories inside me.I exclusively formula fed my little girl because I knew I would never be able to make myself eat anywhere near an acceptable amount of calories to keep me and a baby going but I thought I would try expressing atleast for a bit this time..
Not being pregnant anymore does tend to decrease your appetite,just try and make sure you're getting atleast a little bit of food in hon xxx

 

[tasha41]

Love Bunny ~ for about 3 weeks my appetite was basically nil after having my daughter. I could only stomach like little bits of jello, apple sauce, yogurt. Make sure you at least take a multivitamin with a little bit of something to help your body heal


I haven't left the house really in 3 days because I feel fat in all of my clothes. I am fat in all of my clothes. Skipped the trip to Ikea OH & I were supposed to make Wed and went to bed at 8:30, today we're supposed to go to the mall and he's dragging his butt, and now I don't even want to go

 

[day_dreamer]

Ooo didn't know there was a thread like this!

I'm not pregnant (yet) but have suffered with bulimia since I was 17. I've been more or less recovered for the past 2 years but in that time I've gained lots of weight and am now officially obese. Feel a bit like I've turned over a new leaf this year, as I've been eating really healthily and exercising a bit too -- am hoping I can keep this up because I'd absolutely HATE to pass on my unhealthy attitude to any children I have.

 

[aliss]

I am too at my heaviest weight I have ever been, a lady said to me yesterday ‘you’re lying about your ED, people with proper EDs can never let themselves get fat’ :cries: Now until that point I didn’t consider myself as ‘Fat’ I knew that I was carrying some extra weight and I am a bit ‘porky’ but I wouldn’t let the word fat get into my head…

Wow, what a bunch of crap! Disordered eating patterns have nothing to do with actually being thin. Sorry you went through that.

You girls that are struggling, have you considered any form of counseling? I started going down that path when I was around 19-20 (I'm 26 now) and I really learned balance and healthy patterns after turning away from "skinny ideal" and focusing on a healthy pattern. You might want to give it a try.

 

[Georgie90]

hi hun

thanks for your comments. I am under a dietician as i have had a relaspe over the past couple of weeks, its weird how peoples comments get right into your head though xxxx

 

[Love Bunny]

I weighed myself.

 

[tasha41]

Don't worry sweetie.. you have just had a baby. I take the batteries out of my scale and put it away to save myself from mindlessly weighing myself everytime I go to the washroom because the scale used to be right beside the toilet.

Your body has just done something amazing and it's hard but it's time to focus on healing from birth and taking care of Karma... I'm sure you are doing very well, I've seen your pictures on the thread in the teen forum and your belly looks like it will go back to what it used to be (plus a few stretchmarks!) in time.