~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[QuintinsMommy]

somehow I had it in my mind I would look like I did pre-pregnancy and be the same size, I dont know what I was thinking.lol

 

[Nienna]

somehow I had it in my mind I would look like I did pre-pregnancy and be the same size, I dont know what I was thinking.lol

Me too! And I was gutted I didn't! My hips havn't even gone back into place yet!

 

[minttea]

Am 14 weeks gone, and just starting to plump out. Finding it very difficult at the moment. (History: Became ill at 20, was purging anorexic until 28.)

Am 30 now and consider myself recovered, but had bad sickness for the first three months which I could only stop by eating. And was too ill/tired to get to the gym - I used to go 3/4 times a week - so feel much less toned etc than usual, which adds to horrible feelings.

I thought I was ok with the thought of getting bigger, I knew what it was for and thought I was ready for it. But now it's happening it's really scary, and I'm afraid what it's going to trigger down the line....

 

[tasha41]

I am so fat right now that I feel guilty complaining in this thread And I am even fatter than I actually am due to AF making me bloated.

I am hoping that I'll win LottoMax so I can get liposuction (among other things, I seriously NEED to win the lottery... not even the whole $43 million, $50K would be enough to make my life exponentially better!!)


craftymum-- I am sorry to hear your daughter has to go into the hospital but in a way so happy for her too, I hope it will help her a lot

PreggoEggo-- Jen is right... it is soooo easy to fall back into things after the baby even if you did well when you were pregnant... thinking of you hun. It's only been 3 weeks, be kind to yourself

 

[shocker]

Preggo eggo and nienna - sorry to hear your both struggling at the moment, try not to be so hard on yourselves you've both just had babies and your bodies are bound to not spring back so fast, ye are both beautiful and have beautiful children be kind to yourself right now for the amazing feat you have just achieved

Minttea - I think we convince ourselves it will be ok but once its actually happening it starts to get a little scary, have you got a good support network you can lean on throughout your pregnancy? My doctors scheduled me in for more appointments than usual so that i could be more closely monitored and it really helped.The one thing that helped also was thinking of it like this - its not your body thats getting bigger its your babies, for every little bit of growth you see thats your baby getting stronger and bigger and its not you whos growing like that its them

Craftymum - I hope your daughters doing ok, i cant imagine what its like seeing her go through that but if you ever need to talk please dont hesitate to pm x

tasha41 - you know deep down that surgery wont help you feel better about yourself, you could be the most beautiful woman in the world and you'd still not see it when your feeling this way.If i won the lotto tomorrow id have a gastric band, ive asked my doctor a few times but he doesnt approve as according to him im not fat enough but something ive realised is, hmm whats that saying, wherever you go there you are.You'll still be the same person inside, the same person who doesnt see what others see, work on the inside and the outside will fall into place, hope your doing ok x

 

[tasha41]

My OH left my house during a fight today

We were fighting because I have nothing to wear

Because none of my clothes that fit pre-preg fit me right now
And none of my clothes that fit me post-preg fit me right now

And the clothes that do fit me... I don't have a lot and I feel like I always wear the same thing, my sister takes them and wears them and leaves them places etc and I literally have like nothing right now.

OH kept pressing me yesterday about how much I weigh, like wanting to know and I just don't see how it is his business... then today he was asking me about my size and he, IDK why but he said "what are you a size 2?"... IDK if he is trying to be nice and failing miserably or if he is that misinformed about womens' clothing sizes

Either way he went in my closet and I ripped a pair of my jeans out of his hands and kicked him out of my room

And he told me I'm crazy and he went home

 

[tasha41]

Yesterday I went to the mall to get more stuff and I didn't walk into one store to buy clothes for me, I don't even want to buy clothes because NOTHING will make me look good...

So I spent all of my clothing money on books and a pair of shoes, and now I am right back where I started, minus the money to change it.

And my dad called me fat last night. He's an alcoholic so really I don't take anything he says seriously but for some reason this is sticking.. he had been drinking... anyway I was standing in the kitchen with Elyse and he said "Leesy is big fat mama going to make you something to eat???"... FML

 

[jen1604]

Oh Tash You are such a beautiful girl hon,honestly I'm not just saying that and anyone who has seen a picture of you on here will agree.

I'm sorry your dad said that but remember it was the drink speaking,I know those kind of comments stick though.
And I'm sorry your OH was being an idiot,I honestly think men have noooo idea about womens sizes,my OH has said to me a few times "What do you weigh?Like 8 stone?" I WISH!

 

[craftymum]

Oh Tash that's awful your Dad saying that to you
We got the news today that our daughter is being admitted tomorrow - if she doesn't go under her own free will then they will detain her within 2-5 hours. She is so stressed and I am so scared for her. I do know that this is the help that she needs but I hate the thought of them taking her like that as I cannot see her going in willingly. I just hate this, I'm so worried

 

[jen1604]

Oh Tash that's awful your Dad saying that to you
We got the news today that our daughter is being admitted tomorrow - if she doesn't go under her own free will then they will detain her within 2-5 hours. She is so stressed and I am so scared for her. I do know that this is the help that she needs but I hate the thought of them taking her like that as I cannot see her going in willingly. I just hate this, I'm so worried

We're all here for you if you need to talk.
I hope tomorrow goes as well as it possibly can.Will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[tasha41]

I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can go. Thinking of you guys

 

[craftymum]

today was awful - the only good thing is she did go in of her own choice so she didn't have to go down the detention route thank God but it was devastating she was so emotional as we all were and was clinging onto me for life begging us not to leave her it was awful
On the plus side though I know she is safer in there now, we have spoke to the hospital and they said she had dinner which is fantastic and that she is talking to staff too. she is on complete bed rest for now with 24 hour nurse supervision in her room including for showers and toilet but this will loosen up if she progresses. she has to have obs 4 times a day and weekly bloods, ecg's etc and we are allowed to visit her tomorrow but only for a short time. I just feel so sad now as I keep thinking she is going to come bursting into the front room anytime - I miss her

 

[tasha41]

Hun I can't even imagine how it feels to have to go through that with your own baby, are you allowed to bring anything like photos etc for her to keep there so it feels a bit more like home?

It's great that she ate dinner at least. Small steps.

All my love

 

[craftymum]

not sure about photos gonna buy her some magazines tomorrow and may be a nice teddy bear. She just called us - she sounds ok but it was awkward for her with nurse being in the room with her. I'm trying so hard to think that this is good as I do know she is safer there than she was at home. x

 

[jen1604]

I can't imagine how horrible leaving her there must have felt for you.Atleast though she is responding to them and eating a little bit so you can be hopeful that she'll make quick progress and be home with you in the minimum amount of time.
xxxxx

 

[Jemma_x]

Oh hun, i cant imagine how hard that must be. I was admitted to hospital when i was 15 and i know how hard it was on my mum and dad. Its great that she managed to eat dinner, i ended up being tube fed because i refused to eat and that was the worst thing and thats when i realised that i needed to eat and although i didnt eat loads i started to eat more than i had eaten in nearly 2 years. If you ever need to talk im always here

 

[craftymum]

thanks everyone, I feel a bit selfish going on about this when a lot of you are still going through this yourselves. My daughter is finding it so difficult at the minute, she is on complete bed rest with 24/7 supervision - even for showers and going to toilet! This is proving to be very very difficult for her and she is in floods of tears when we've been up to see her, the good news is she is complying with them and eating their food as she just wants out of there as soon as possible, there is a girl she knew form primary school in there and she has been there for 6 months and was on bed rest for 5 weeks but she is now allowed out with her parents sometimes during visits. I know she is in the best place now but it is so so hard leaving her there when all I want is to wrap her up and bring her home

 

[jen1604]

None of us are going to think you are selfish Craftymum. Even though you don't have an eating disorder,you're still dealing with it everyday.
It really sounds like even though its obviously so tough emotionally she's doing really well in there


As for me- I am feeling huge and really want to lose a stone by about mid April (my birthday). Walked 6 miles last night with Lennon in the sling!Trying to lose the weight the sensible way which is hard because there is always something in my mind reminding me that I know quicker ways to lose weight
How is everyone else doing?

 

[day_dreamer]

Craftymum - i don't want to be the one to rain on your parade so to speak, but i've had a couple of friends who have been admitted, comply with eating what they have to just so they can be released then go straight back to not eating the second they get out. It's too easy to cheat the system of ED treatment in this country...and i really wish it wasn't

Still, it's good that she seems t be trying...just hope she is on the inside too!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Craftymum - i don't want to be the one to rain on your parade so to speak, but i've had a couple of friends who have been admitted, comply with eating what they have to just so they can be released then go straight back to not eating the second they get out. It's too easy to cheat the system of ED treatment in this country...and i really wish it wasn't

Still, it's good that she seems t be trying...just hope she is on the inside too!

I also don't want to put downer on her progress, but this is exactly what I did. I managed to do it three times before they figured me out. I went in extremely underweight, I ate the set amounts, did everything I should do and was back out and at a healthy weight 10 weeks later. I didn't actually believe there was anything wrong with me. "They" were the bad people, I was right, and I did what they said just so I could get back to being me again. All I can suggest is that if she does progress quickly, and is home pretty soon, I would be very strict with her regarding mealtimes and watching her eat and making her sit with you for at least an hour after she's eaten. However, there is one huge problem with this theory - as soon as I eat I have to go to the bathroom because I've mucked my disgestive system up. Everytime I eat, it goes straight through me. Good luck with your daughter, I hope she makes as speedy a recovery as possible

As for how I'm feeling... I actually feel pretty good, for once. When I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see, but I can't say I hate it either....