~ Anorexia, Bulimia & Eating Disorder Support Thread ~

[mayb_baby]

I am losing weight which is what I want in a healthy-ish way but I am so tempted to up my discipline
Aghh I am so fed up today

 

[sarah0108]

Lorna, you are doing so well as it is babe, don't give in to restricting/
The weight is coming off slowly but surely.
I get my phone this week so if you need support you know where i am! xx

 

[louandivy]

Remember hun, if you start restricting then the binges will follow quickly! You don't want to get into that cycle

 

[mayb_baby]

Thanks

 

[louandivy]

Plus your BMI is already pretty tiny! I know how you feel though, although I know that I'm not overweight I am just NOT comfortable at my current weight but am thinking of stopping dieting because I'm beginning to obsess over food a little bit. The thing is, even if I lose weight I'm not sure I'll ever be happy - I'll always just want to see if I can lose a little more. Does anyone else feel that way?

 

[mayb_baby]

Plus your BMI is already pretty tiny! I know how you feel though, although I know that I'm not overweight I am just NOT comfortable at my current weight but am thinking of stopping dieting because I'm beginning to obsess over food a little bit. The thing is, even if I lose weight I'm not sure I'll ever be happy - I'll always just want to see if I can lose a little more. Does anyone else feel that way?

I just hate who I am and what I look like and I know I can be thinner but it's coming off so slow, I feel like an ugly fat cow
I am breaking out, swollen and just soo stressed I am meal planning, stressing. All I think about all day is weight, food and exercise

 

[Groovychick]

hun. I'm having a bad day too.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Plus your BMI is already pretty tiny! I know how you feel though, although I know that I'm not overweight I am just NOT comfortable at my current weight but am thinking of stopping dieting because I'm beginning to obsess over food a little bit. The thing is, even if I lose weight I'm not sure I'll ever be happy - I'll always just want to see if I can lose a little more. Does anyone else feel that way?

Yeah thats how I feel! I'll be like 'yay I've lost 5lbs' then 10 minutes later I'm thinking 'why didn't I lose 10lbs' etc. I hate it. I've started to get so bad recently, not eating for days on end because I just don't want to! My OH gets really pissed off, he doesn't understands and tries to force me to eat sometimes. I don't really like food, its ok but only when I really need it iykwim? I just smoke to get rid of the hunger feeling and that works fine for me.

 

[louandivy]

Plus your BMI is already pretty tiny! I know how you feel though, although I know that I'm not overweight I am just NOT comfortable at my current weight but am thinking of stopping dieting because I'm beginning to obsess over food a little bit. The thing is, even if I lose weight I'm not sure I'll ever be happy - I'll always just want to see if I can lose a little more. Does anyone else feel that way?

Yeah thats how I feel! I'll be like 'yay I've lost 5lbs' then 10 minutes later I'm thinking 'why didn't I lose 10lbs' etc. I hate it. I've started to get so bad recently, not eating for days on end because I just don't want to! My OH gets really pissed off, he doesn't understands and tries to force me to eat sometimes. I don't really like food, its ok but only when I really need it iykwim? I just smoke to get rid of the hunger feeling and that works fine for me.

The thing is, we have to be so careful of what we do around our little girls! I would never forgive myself if Ivy developed an eating disorder because it would be MY fault and if I saw her go through that pain it would kill me!

I suppose we are different in that way though, I am OBSESSED with food! When I restrict, I spend hours and hours just looking and recipes and when I was at my worst I would cook whole meals and then just throw them away, so awful. I become so bitter and envious of people who can just eat and enjoy it that I snap at them and make them feel greedy, who's to say that I wouldn't do it to Ivy too? I also binge/purge when I restrict which is getting into a whole new ballpark and I don't know how I could be a capable parent and bulimic at the same time.

Maybe you should consider asking for help hun, have you had therapy or been in treatment before?

 

[Groovychick]

I'm bulimic and find it an immense struggle on a daily basis. I eat the same things every day and any deviation frightens me beyond belief. I am desperate for my daughter to grow up with a good appetite and be happy with her body. On this basis, I have been accepted to start some group therapy sessions in April. I'm doing it for my girl.

 

[fluffpuffin]

Am feeling myself on that slippery slope again Following a healthy diet just seems to take so damn long to lose any weight

 

[mayb_baby]

I am gone again MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING

Spoiler

I don't want to hurt or mess with anyone but today I had 2 apples a bowel of soup and 6bottles of water and 4 5cal energy drinks. I netted under 600cals and did an hour of spinning and burned about 370cals and I feel soooo good

 

[Lubbird]

x

 

[Jellyt]

Hello everyone.

I hope you're all doing okay. I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you. I'm writing the beginning of a teen novel for an assignment and i've used the subject matter of anorexia as I happen to draw from my own experiences quite well. However, i'd like to hear some more 'real' stories. I've read other pieces of fiction and I think it would be beneficial for me to talk to some other people and hear their stories. I won't share anything you say to me with anyone else, it would be purely for the purpose of my work. If anyone would be kind enough to pm me their story that'd be ace. What do you think?

Anyway, I hope everyone is okay. I've gained a bit recently and i'm feeling pretty terrible!

 

[mayb_baby]

Hello everyone.

I hope you're all doing okay. I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you. I'm writing the beginning of a teen novel for an assignment and i've used the subject matter of anorexia as I happen to draw from my own experiences quite well. However, i'd like to hear some more 'real' stories. I've read other pieces of fiction and I think it would be beneficial for me to talk to some other people and hear their stories. I won't share anything you say to me with anyone else, it would be purely for the purpose of my work. If anyone would be kind enough to pm me their story that'd be ace. What do you think?

Anyway, I hope everyone is okay. I've gained a bit recently and i'm feeling pretty terrible!

I'll PM you

 

[tasha41]

Been sick for a week, barely eating. Lost 9lbs in the month because of that.

Now that I'm feeling better and am able to eat, I am like.. addicted to not eating. I take a couple of bites and feel guilty and spit it out and toss it away, etc. Right now I am SO hungry and I don't want to waste my time preparing something I am just going to waste or feel guilty about eating.

 

[mayb_baby]

I am gone again MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING

Spoiler

I don't want to hurt or mess with anyone but today I had 2 apples a bowel of soup and 6bottles of water and 4 5cal energy drinks. I netted under 600cals and did an hour of spinning and burned about 370cals and I feel soooo good

Ok so I have massive slipped again and I think I am heading for trouble

Spoiler

I love spinning looaads atm. I did 90 Mins 501cals and ate 468 cals I am now prepreg weight and the past few weeks its been dropping off and I have soo many complements. I am starting legs, bums and tum on Thursday followed by spinning I also run Mon-Fri. I am getting such a buzz from it!
But I know I need to eat more and I have had a quite a protein filled diet this week which is good but I have purged a few times (6 this week which I always feel guilty about)

 

[louandivy]

I just found a poem I wrote when I was in recovery, thought I would share (will spoiler it though as it might be triggering)

Spoiler

I've been battling both sides of the fight;

I always dream in black and white,

I strive to live, I ache to fall

I don't mind either way at all.



There's a girl that sits upon my heart,

She pinches, pulls and points and laughs,

Whispering excuses, twisting my fingers,

My steps getting slower, beginning to hinder.



But when my vision spots a streak of light,

I feel my heart flutter, despite the fight,

I devour the freedom, straight down to my pit

A second of silence; and then, God, it hits.



A black hole of guilt, it engulfs me in one,

My stomach lurches up, the darkness has won,

And a shrill voice is pounding on my chest,

So I buckle and cower, tired and oppressed.



And my head always buzzes, trapped in the battle

One side craves decay, shaking its rattle,

Its hand on my ribcage, serene at the touch,

The sharpening angles it can't help but clutch.



But a quiet strength arises on my other side,

Nurtured and fed, warm and bright,

Gradually expanding, as she screams out in hate

Crouched under the numbers, denying her fate.



And it will unstitch my lips, allow me to speak

To utter the words that made one side weep,

One day she'll be silenced, with black and white blending,

And I'll say that 'I'm hungry' without repenting.

 

[Lina]

Beautiful and inspiring lou, a very good friend of mine died of ana and bulimia and I wish she was still here would love to have shared it with her and am sure she would have got comfort from it as I did. All you ladies are strong pls hang on.

 

[louandivy]

So sorry about your friend