Anxiety & depression...please help

[Angels4]

Hi all,

Ive had 4 miscarriages within 2 years, with the last being in Feb this year.

I thought I was doing ok with handling my grief, but I have cried literally every day for 2 weeks as my 4th would be due date approaches.

We have had 4 friends give birth in the last 2 weeks and another announcing their pregnancy so I think its all getting to me now as I shouldve been in the same boat.

Dont know if anyone can help, but I think im driving myself crazy over it.

I dont have energy at all & just want to sleep all day and im worried that I will continue to have miscarriages and never have a baby.

Sorry for being a downer...i just dont know what else to do

 

[Hope13]

I didn't want to read and run. As you may see, I am currently going through a miscarriage. I would be 7 weeks on Wednesday. I feel the Same as you but it's only my second miscarriage so I can't understand 100 % the devastation you are feeling. I am going to the docs tomorrow to get something to help me over the next few months worth of pain. Have you thought of seeking your GP for some counselling or medication to help? I know it isn't the answer but anything to help maybe better than nothing. I am in so much pain at the moment, I can relate to your Feelings. Take care xxxx

 

[Topanga053]

I struggled immensely with coping with my single miscarriage last year and then it taking a long time to get pregnant again. I was convinced I was infertile and would never have a baby. The anxiety and depression really took over me, compounded by literally dozens of our acquaintances being pregnant. For me, anti-depressants and therapy were life savers. I resisted until the pain became unmanageable. In hindsight, I should have gotten help much, much sooner. The anti-depressants made the pain much more manageable and the therapy really helped me deal with my anxiety about not being a mother.

I wish you all the luck in the world for a healthy baby and a speedy emotional recovery.

 

[Ltruns33]

I have felt overwhelming sadness to, numbness, too. We miscarried sat/sunday. We have been surrounded by love though, and feel hopeful, since we did conceive at all. That doesn't necessarily make it easier though, as the fear of the unknown future is unnerving. But when I was pregnant (only knew for three days and it impacted my life so much) I told a friend"this pregnancy erases all the months of trying. They don't seem so long now. I wouldn't wish long term trying on anyone... But for us the hard journey has been a beautiful one, and now I can see its purpose." We'll, the next day I miscarried, so my own words are tesung me. I feel like I will be pregnant again, however long it takes, and that when I do, THAT child will be worth the wait. Be encouraged, there is a rainbow after the worst storms. May your storms be calmed and your heart lifted up with hope. Hope does not ignore pain, but can carry the pain. Good luck.

 

[Angels4]

Thanks so much to you all.

I have gone to a counsellor, but I didnt really find it helpful. She told me basically everything I already knew, but I thought I would be magically cured...or should I say hoped.

I understand its a long long process to move past. I dont want to forget, but I want to learn to deal with it better.

Lately ive been having acupuncture (i try to stay away from using anti depressants as a family member really turned me off them), so hopefully it will help calm me down.

Thanks so much again, best wishes to you all

 

[Topanga053]

Angels, it could be that that counselor just wasn't a good match for you. I started with one counselor and wasn't noticing a lot of improvement. After a few months, I switched to another counselor who used a different method of therapy (and was a psychologist, versus an MSW) and I improved MUCH faster with him. For me, the second counselor was so much more helpful because he really pushed me to get to the root of the issues (i.e. identify how deep my fear of not being a mother was, how unrealistic it was, etc etc), whereas the first counselor just kind of listened to me and told me it would all be ok.

That said, obviously counseling isn't for everyone, no matter what type it is. I just wanted to throw it out there that sometimes it's the particular match that's the problem, not counseling itself.

I hope acupuncture helps you!! You will definitely find your way and I have complete faith that you WILL be a mother soon!!

 

[bubblz82]

Counselling is not a cure. I miscarried at the start of July. I had depression in the past and didn't want it to return so I decided to go to counseling. The counsellor you saw may not have been the right one for you? I am still working that out with mine. You at you are depressed. Have you been to the doctor for medication? Write this down. Always remember the here and now. Here I need to start listening to myself sometimes. Might help myself lol

 

[aimze]

What about some herbal help Hun? I've been taking St. John's wart which I think has helped be a mood lifter xx

 

[Angels4]

Thanks all!

Yes, maybe its time I found a new counsellor! Hopefully one who has patience to look deeper into the issues as you suggest.

Aimze, yep, ive already started on the herbals so hopefully that will help too!

Topanga053, thanks for the faith...it means a lot xx

Bubblz82, I know what you mean..im great at giving advice, but not that great at helping myself lol, thanks