any other over 35 first time mums?

[AngelUK]

Gah! OH ran down the corridor when he heard Dom crying today (while I was out at the vets with Alfie for his shots) and he tripped and fell badly, injuring his arm. It is impossible for him to lift either baby out of their cots. It is supposed to be his night and he will take it but he won't be able to rock Dom back to sleep so if Dom wakes he will have to do our verison of CIO . Plus he might have to wake me at the crack of dawn to get the boys out of their cots and changed etc. Unless of course his arm improves over night. But if it doesn't then it will be 3 nights in a row of not great sleep for me. And it will 4 tomorrow as I will be on duty again then. I am so selfish! Of course I hope OH's arm will improve cause I don't want him to be hurt but mainly I want to cry at the prospect of not getting my full night's sleep again tonight How horrible of me. How did I do it when the boys were tiny and for more than 3 months I always had 4 to 5 nights in a row? Then the boys were on a 3 hour rota with their feeds and it took almost an hour to feed both. I guess one gets used to things and copes somehow.

I wanted to catch up with personals before going to bed so here goes:

Borboleta I meant to say thank you for advice re CIO. I really don't want to have to do this but I guess it is getting habit with Dom and his 2 bottles at night. I know he knows how to self settle as he has done it many times. And he has had 3 or 4 nights where he only woke once for a bottle so he doesn't really need it. But I am very interested how it will go with Thiago and his naps. I don't think either of my boys need this as usually they fall asleep in their bouncies quite willingly. Maybe it will change when I start putting them in their cots for naps.
Poor little Thiago and getting his shots. Did he cry very hard?
As for bumpers, we still have the breathable ones even though our boys don't get to move around their cots much cause of their wedges and belly bands.

Storm thank you I know you understand the depressing-ness haha of non sleep even better than me as you don't have anyone to take your L every other night. And as for how I cope with two, Sebastian is a very good sleeper and unless Dominic wakes him he usually sleeps right through till just before 6. So really I only have one bad sleeper. But I hope things are improving for you? How is her sleep now on her lactose free diet?
As for your friend with the twins I bet her kids aren't such bad sleepers and she gets 12 hours from them every night It is easy to look well rested when one is well rested.
But for your other friend with that little girl who is allergic to everything. Wow. Poor LO and poor friend! Is there any chance the little girl will grow out of this or is she stuck with this all her life?
As for us not dtd. Well it has been over a year now and quite frankly I think it is a combination of things. I don't think Nick has fancied me terribly much for a number of years or he truly did go off sex as he says. I find that hard to believe cause after all he is a man. It was hard enough to get him to dtd once a month when we tried to conceive for those 3 and a half years. Then also I am sure he didn't fancy me at all when I was pregnant with the twins though of course he kept telling me I looked lovely etc. And now I am so insecure about my horrible belly and the slight overhang I still have that I wouldn't want any either. I know he loves me very much but although he tells me I look lovely all the time, I just don't think he fancies me Sorry that was TMI and sounded too much like a pity party which it wasn't meant to be.

Sabrina we use the big bath too now and have this swivel bath chair. Dom loves it and Sebastian hates it but then he doesn't like bath time anyway. Hope Finn's bath went well tonight? Did he manage to sit by himself or did you have to hold him? I am looking forward to when the boys can sit in the bath unaided cause then they can share a bath and I hopefully won't have to draw two baths. (Sebastian needs special soap and shampoo cause of eczema).

Leeze are you all unpacked and settled in now? How is Kia doing these days? I am hoping she is no longer as subdued as she was at first?
Yeah sleep is sometimes just like it was with newborns. But at least I usually get every other night of a full night's sleep. So it isn't that bad But yeah I am looking forward to being able to just tuck them in and go to bed with no worries. I am sure it will happen before they turn 18 lol Isn't Chamomilia just chamomile? We have a calpol diffuser plug in that has chamomile and lavender in it and though it really helps unblock a snuffly nose, I don't think it helped Dominic sleep any better But it might help Kia?

Clio we posted at the same time almost I think.
My relationship with my mum has always been really good and close except possibly in my teens but even then nothing beyond normal teeny angst nonsense. I truly adore her and think there are few ppl in this world with a warmer heart and less selfishness. She didn't handle things well in regards food (or in regards to what she told me about men) but there was never any doubt in my mind even when I was a teeny that my mum loves me with all her heart and would do anything to see me happy. My mum has always been very slim and elegant and when she was young she never had to watch what she ate and was in fact known as the hoover in her boarding school. Only after she had my brother and me did she have start watching her diet a bit. She loves sweets and especially chocolate and is in no way obsessed with her body. I guess she is more naturally slim than I am. She did her best and her mistakes were mistakes but not ill willed ones
I loved your story about the cookies and Sesame Street! J sounds such a fun little guy!

Ok I am sure I forgot half of what I wanted to say again but I am too tired to remember. I am off to bed as it is almost 10! Night night lovely ladies

 

[Leeze]

Love reading all your chatty posts. Wish I had a bit more time and energy to join in!
Rowan, lovely bump. Making me broody too. Keep thinking it must be easier the second time round. Have you started buying anything yet?
Storm, those hams sound amazing. I'm salivating! And a lunch date. How cute. Did you find anything to talk about that wasn't about L?
Angel, I'm almost crying about your good night. That sounds like a pretty hardcore night to me. Mind you, maybe you're getting a double dose now of hard nights but hopefully in the end it works out less painful than having 2 babies one after another where you get 4 or 5 years of bad sleep. If that makes sense.
Sabrina, re bath toys. Kia's favourite are plastic cups. And like Jonah she loves to stand up too.
My brain has gone blank now so I'll say hello to everyone else and a shout out to Kosh if you're around. We're ok. Nursery phoned this afternoon to ask me to collect Kia as she had a high temperature. She was fine once I got her home and has been in great spirits this evening so I'm not sure what that was about. They have a policy though where they send the kids home if they have a high temperature. It was quite good to get out of work early, actually!

 

[SabrinaKat]

thanks, guys -- am looking into getting a bath seat that my overall boss recommends asap (me thinks the same as Thiago's possibly?), but Smyths toys here in Ireland is out of stock....to be honest, we don't bathe LO every night as our reasoning is that LO isn't crawling yet, so not so dirty? LO now also hates his activity centre (avatar picture) as he can't sit up in it and now hates being on his back! Think I might have to change the picture....sigh...he's getting to be a real big boy now!

have read through other posts, but am exhausted (it's 12am here), so I do look/read, but not always comment....actually Rowan, am delighted you are pregnant again but am not envious or broody as me thinks my body isn't ready for another pregnancy just yet, BUT I am so delighted that after the struggles for M, you got lucky so quickly afterwards....

and Angel , I've/we've DTD twice since LO (well, 2 and 1/2 as somebody woke up (LO!), just think am too tired and with twins? (In TTC, we were advised due to erratic cycles/PCOS to go from day 7 to day 30 of each cycle, got lucky with LO around day 9/10 of June 2011 cycle, so I told my OH to enjoy it then and leave me alone afterwards...am somewhat kidding....really, I do love my OH, but to be honest, have no energy.....)

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Borboleta]

Oh angel and Sabrina you all make me feel better about this dtd thing!! Hubby and I too are not like we use to be. Most of the time I am too tired and just want to go to bed and sleep and sometimes he is stressed about the job thing so we kind of forget about it. We both said the we need to start working on it more but it takes a lot of adjustment with a baby. I can count on my fingers how many times we dtd since thiago is born !! Now when we were trying he was my sex slave !!! Big change now!!! I love him though and think he is the sexiest thing out there!!!

Leeze: glad to hear Kia is doing well at the crèche. Are you used to the routine yet? Do you have time to cook your delicious food still?

Storm: send me a ham please!!

Sabrina: yes we have the best winter weather here. It was hot the other day!!! I had to wear a tank top!!! I like when it gets a little cold though so I can wear my boots!!! I LOVE boots!!! I could buy all the boots at any store!!!
When thiago started sitting by himself he loved the little playground thing you put then in and there is all those toys around him. How did the bath go?

 

[Borboleta]

Angel: I forgot to tell you that you shouldn't think that you are not sexy and beautiful enough. From your pictures on fb I think you are gorgeous . Do you think that your husband's problem with getting you pregnant maybe made him feel less of a man ( you know like a procreator?).?
I think we are all just so sleep deprived and all the changes with having a baby that takes a toll on the relationship. I need to start working on that.

 

[AngelUK]

Thank you Borboleta But I don't look like that now.

Anyway the night went really well! Dominic wanted his bottle at 11:45 and then slept till 5:30! He only woke then cause Sebastian was awake then and started chatting loudly! Actually in the mornings it is always Sebastian who wakes Dominic cause I think Dominic would sleep till after 6 at least! At around 6ish my OH lay in bed with the monitor on and the two babies crying over it. He wanted to leave them to it for a while and said he didn't think the noise would wake me. DOH! But I had to get up anyway as he cannot lift the boys out of the cots and on to the changing table etc. So I cannot even go back to bed now as OH cannot lift Dominic out of the playpen either. Sadly OH didn't manage to sleep more than maybe 90 minutes last night, either out of pain or out of worry about the boys, he isn't sure. But I can see it coming that he will get to nap 3 hours today and get to sleep tonight while I get no nap and no sleep tonight. Oh well, I know I have less grounds for complaint than most women with their OHs but still. I am tired and though he pointed out that I got almost 8 hours sleep last night it isn't enough to make up for 2 nights of broken sleep. But when he said he didn't want to go to the doctor to have his arm seen to, I put my foot down and said he had to go, as it wasn't fair on me to have to continue to do his share too just cause he doesn't want to get help from the doctor! Grr. Anyway. Tiredness always makes me mean
Hope you all had a good night and talk to you later

 

[clio]

Okay, this is the craziest thread ever. I go to sleep, and...

I just wanted to say that I am ALMOST finished reading through (I have around 4 or 5 more to go, but I am here, reading, and laughing at little piddling L). J has just woken from his nap, so I must go, and I will reply later.

 

[clio]

Hey everyone,

Wooh. A lot to respond to! I'll do my best!

First and foremost:

Angel--I'm sorry to make such an assumption about your mother; that was entirely inconsiderate and unthoughtful of me. Even after I posted it, I thought that anyone who goes to such lengths to make such a wonderful Advent calendar for their mother cannot have a bad relationship with them. If anyone was projecting, it was me. My mother was caught in a nightmare marriage with my father, and took a lot of it out on us (as did my father). While things are much better for them and us in their doddering old age, especially since J was born, Eric still has trouble being entirely nice to either of them after hearing stories of my childhood. Now, I'm actually okay and came away with minimal damage ironically because of the bipolar. I underwent 8 years of therapy with the most wonderful psychiatrist and I was able to work the vast majority of my issues out. It is my poor sister who still suffers because no one really helped her.

I really hope that OH's arm is better, but why on earth do men refuse to see doctors


As for the sex thing, I'm even worse than you guys. Yes, we haven't DTD since the day I ovulated and produced J like some of you, but we hadn't been having sex for years before we were TTC. And it was/is entirely because of me. I have no sex drive. I did, of course, whenever I was in the beginning of a relationship when we are biologically determined to have sex like bunnies, but after that... I suspect it has to do with my cervix--it started giving me pain in high school, and discharge that inflamed my entire vaginal canal. This went on for years, and no one could tell me what was wrong (I think I know now, but no OBGYN believes me, it's so obscure). Sex made it even worse. So, it killed my sex drive. I often don't think about it, but then at other times I feel so guilty, but my husband assures me that it's okay. And I know it is. And it's not that I don't find him attractive--I think he is one of the most handsome men around--but I just don't want to have sex. Both of us couldn't live without the other, so that's what our marriage and our love for each other is about.

I don't tell people any of this, though. So you all are among the first to know. And it's not because of this being an anonymous environment, because it isn't--I consider you all to be very good friends and I'm not embarrassed to talk about it here.

Borboleta--I know, J has a pretty good vocabulary for a baby. It started at 8 months (actually earlier, we think, but we just didn't believe his Pake when he swore J was saying the word "up" when he wanted sit in Pake's lap.) But remember, this boy comes from a family who never ever stops talking, so he was bound to start pretty early. Okay, his words:

up
down
Mum
Dad
cat
duck
apple
guitar (known as "tar")
no
star (because of the Sleep Turtle)
bottle (though he says "bap")
ball
tower
He is working on "lights" because he's fascinated by them, but it's hard to say.

That's all I can think of right now, but I don't think there are many more. Rowan's Martha is probably the same as J (tractor!)

Okay, falling asleep again. More later!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh I love reading all the posts! Yay!

Leeze, I hope little K is feeling ok, our nursery doesn't have that policy, they will give L calpol if I sign a consent form or verbally agree on the phone and then sign the form on pick up.

SK, we have the same bath seat as angel off amazon, its super for the price! That said we still have free range baby in the bath.

Angel, I feel exactly like you with my DH, utterly convinced he doesn't fancy me, he has such a low sex drive, when we were TTC we were at it like rabbits, I think he thought he would be a one shot wonder and seemed genuinely surprised when it didn't happen on the first cycle! It only took 3 cycles, I was very fortunate and I still think if it had taken one more month my mum wouldn't have seen L. Anyway once I was pregnant that was it, I think we DTD about 6 times my whole pregnancy and one of those was cause I was desperate to get her out.. anyway in the last 11 months its been 4 times... I think its lack of sleep, hardly spending anytime together and partly cause during my pregnancy apparently I stopped being affectionate... Hmm men just don't understand the morning sickness etc that comes with pregnancy, well mine anyway. At this rate is be hard pushed to have another child, not that we are TTC I hasten to add.

Clio I think that the fact your marriage is based on mutual adoration and love is much more important than sex. I often wonder what those people who are at it like rabbits all the time do when the time comes they can't either through illness or old age!

Kosh we miss you and hope you are around keeping in touch xxx

Skweek and Charlie, hope the newborns are letting you get some sleep and you are getting used to the new little people in your life!

Borboleta my lovely I would send you a ham if I could any update on your DHs job situation?

Rowan, hope your gorgeous, perfect little bump is doing well and of course the lovely M.

And last but no means least, the lady who got her BFP the same week as me, Clairey I hope little L is letting you get some sleep!

L and I had a lovely day today, we went to build a bear with my friend and her 3 year old (i said 4 before but she's still 3), we got fab female reindeers, with tutu dresses, bells

 

[Storm1jet2]

I posted cause my phone was freezing..

Bells round their necks, red sparkly shoes, red roller skates and a collar and lead... They rock! Cost a fortune but it was worth it. Angel my friends little girl has to be allergy tested every 12 week's, but so far no reduction in allergies. It's mad, she's allergic to all diary, chicken, beef, potato starch, broccoli, all citric acid, peanuts etc.. We sneaked to McDs and her mum and I had lunch while our 2 little ones sat with their 'picnics', her little girl was thrilled as L had sandwiches, a fruit pouch and a soya dessert like her. Apparently she has spent all day saying L is special as she eats the same as her! It wasn't really the same but same idea and she was so happy!

Anyway, big day for us tomorrow, stinky kidney test for L, im dreading it... Better go as I need a wee (charming I know, but given I didn't go for 12 hours as I forgot, this is an interesting sensation!), ah the joys of 'natural' childbirth....

 

[Leeze]

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, Storm. Wilt you have to hold L down again? How many tests will she be having. Sending you big hugss xx

 

[SabrinaKat]

Things okay-ish here, my head cold has decided to take up permanent residence, but am using a new cold medicine that means at least I don't have a runny nose. Just exhausted completely -- OH is taking LO tonight (we doing alternative nights at the moment), so I hope I do sleep, but I can sense LO's cries and always wake up anyway....okay, something running through my head, which may explain my reaction to
LO's crying (e.g. why I couldn't do CC or CIO), due to my guilt that he was put into NICU an hour or so after he was born because I was so ill with pre-eclampsia (I was put into High-Dependency (a fancy name for Intensive Care) on drips and meds and all I can think of is that Finn was alone in his cot in NICU and maybe he was crying for mummy? Or am I just being silly? Odd that months after I am agonising about that!

re: sex during pregnancy -- we didn't at all as I have a tender cervix and had on/off bleeding throughout (had to get an anti-d (I'm O neg, OH is A+, LO is A+) injection at 14wks after a little 'fun' and that was painful. so, what with pregnancy, having a newborn, etc., and complete exhaustion in the months....at least, I still find my OH attractive (usually, but not when grumpy....)

Am going to try a bath tonight as LO seems in a good mood....

bye!!!!!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

just saw your post storm re: LO's tests tomorrow (crossing fingers)....

best wishes

 

[Claireyb1]

I agree that it's great to read all the posts on this thread! and it's nice to know that Clio you regard so many of these lovely ladies good enough friends to share such intimate information about you.
With one thing and another over the last 3-4 months my DF and I haven't dtd at all in that time, but I am very lucky that he totally understands and has never put any pressure on me at all it's just life with a baby and we just have to deal with it
Storm, Lucy is being particularly bad with sleep at the mo. waking every 1-2 hours all through the night - I'm a broken woman! lol
I hope all goes well with Lydia tomorrow!

to all the other ladies.
xx

 

[AngelUK]

Storm I am crossing my fingers for you and L tomorrow and hopefully the results will nothing too bad.

I will respond to the other posts tomorrow hopefully. Am too tired now and off to bed. Hope you all have good nights with lots of lovely sleep

 

[Borboleta]

Hello lovely ladies,

Storm: you are a sweetheart. I will pray for you and L tomorrow. She is a little fighter and everything will be okay. And you a re a lovely mommy.
So cute the story about your day with your friend. I got emotional to think of you little friend saying happily that L was special like her because she ate special meals ( bless her heart. What an amazing little girl!
And 12 hours without going pee!!!

Clio: thank you so much to share your intimacy with us. Actually it looks like most of us are in the same boat as sex goes. We have wonderful partners that seem to understand our lack of sex drive . And I am so sorry to hear about your life growing up with your mom and dad. Glad to hear you worked things out though.
Not sure if I said but I am going to have a special place for thiago in the pantry too. Loved your idea.

Angel: I hope your hubby goes to the doctor and have his arm checked out. It sounds painful!! Hope he didn't brake his arm!!!

Leeze: after hearing you talking about start trying to have a baby at 40 I just told my hubby that we will start ttc again when I turn 40 next September. He started laughing . I just don't feel like trying yet. I am enjoying little t.

Claire: To you. Does Lucy takes naps during the day? How is her mood when she is awake?

Sabrina: so sorry to hear that you are still having trouble with this cold!! Can you go to a doctor so he could give you something stronger?

Rowan: hope you, michael and little m are doing well.

Sweek and Charlie: . Don't worry on trying to catch up with us. We are a talking bunch aren't we .

Kosh: how is little G and you doing?

Well until this moment I have not tried CIO yet !! Just can't do it!!! Thiago sleeps good for his naps and he is just waking up around 4 or 5 ( more 5 this days) then I go in or hubby and give him a bottle and he goes back to sleep until 6:30 or 7am. I am a softy !!! And the poor thing had the flu shot and he didn't feel very good the past couple of days. Oh, angel: he actually had his finger pricked to have his iron level checked and he didn't cry on that one ( even when the nurse was squeezing his finger to get more blood out of him ) but then when she got his leg and did the flu shot he cried for about 30 seconds and then he was just moaning for about 2 min. We still need to go back next month for a boaster on the flu shot. How about you ladies did you give flu shots to LOs? And how often do you go have then checked? Here he went right after he was born, then 3 , 6, 9 and 12 months. Then I don't know anymore

 

[clio]

Okay, awake again. The painkiller I take for my hip knocks me out completely, and it often is a struggle to finish even the last sentence of a post. I noticed that I had added something to Angel's personal and fell asleep before I could even punctuate it!

Borbeleta--want the picture now!

Re: your Texan weather--you are a cruel, cruel woman to tell me about this. It's really funny here in Edmonton, though (I'm a transplant from a much warmer climate in Canada). The second it gets above freezing here, all the kids wear shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops. It's ridiculous. Of course, winter lasts from October to April, so I guess I can understand the ridiculousity.

Angel--now to finish what I was writing... Again, I'm sorry about OH's arm and I'm glad you put your foot down about going to the doctor. And you are so not being mean by making him go. It's only common sense, especially if it will get things back to normal.

Leeze--how is Kia? Did you two contrive a plan to get you out of work early? Perhaps she held the thermometer to a lightbulb when no one was looking?

SK--we only bath J every other day as well because it is so incredibly dry here and it would dry out his skin. I have to use a lot of moisturizer on him as it is. I'm sorry about the cold. I'm surprised it's stayed for so long; are you sure it's just a cold?

Storm--I hate it when people say that a good sex life is an essential cornerstone (is that redundant?) of a good marriage, and without it, a relationship is doomed. I used to worry when I heard that, until I would come to my senses a minute later and recognized it as bunk. At least, for me and my husband, it's bunk.

Your hams sound gorgeous. If I weren't a dedicated Christmas Turkey lover, I'd certainly want one of yours!

That build a bear thing sounds amazing. Was L old enough to appreciate it? And how nice that your friend's little one saw kinship in L--it must be very lonely when you have so many allergies.

Good luck on the kidney tests. I'll be thinking of you. Will you receive the results right away?

Claire--I'm sorry about the horrible night. I don't remember if you BF--I know it can be especially hard then, as you're often then only one who can really settle LO.

AFM--I'm trying to figure out this switching over to whole milk thing, because there seems to be myriad info out there, yet none of it really tells me anything. I finally came across info from Health Canada which suggested I slowly mix it into his formula. So I did it for the first time around an hour ago, and now he's acting like the Engergizer Frickin' Bunny. He's running all over the place, yelling "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and waving two cooked green beans, one in each hand, around. Then he made me put his winter coat on with the hood up and now is yelling "eieieieieieieieieieieiei" and stopping every so often at the oven door to look at himself before running off hysterically again. And to think I was worried he wouldn't take to the milk well. Oh my lord, what's going to happen when we switch over completely?

I managed to get a pic (which was hard, let me tell you--most of them were blurs):

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8057/8248804636_6631ff9fcb.jpg

Oh, and now he just ran by holding the cat by the tail as she tried to escape him.

 

[clio]

Borboleta, we just posted at the same time. Yes, things were tough growing up, but I think karma came through. I often look at Eric and now at J and am amazed by the life I've been blessed with. Plus, my mother and I have a great relationship now--we talk nearly everyday, and she visits minimum 4 times a year. So, I made it through. As for the intimacy thing, it's embarrassing to talk about--you're supposed to want to have sex, and I don't. I don't think there is anything wrong with me, but am certain others will. So I don't ever talk bout it.

ETA: Oh, and all those years of therapy weren't actually about my parents or my childhood. As was explained to me by the medical community, if I wanted to live a normal life with bipolar disease, I had better stay with this doctor. Luckily, I got a lot more out of it than just drugs.

Okay, my computer is nearly out of juice, but J certainly isn't. He's breathing as hard as a rhino. Maybe I should go read him a book to calm him down... (hahahahahahaha!)

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: I LOVE the picture of J!!! It is histerycal!!! and now he doesn't even trip and fall anyomore he just runs!!!

I am so glad that kosh started this thread. It has been a real pleasure to get to know all you ladies. I know not in person which is different but still we can have a feeling about each others personalities and share a little of our secrets . Maybe one day we could all fly to London and meet each other . I picked London because it seems that most of you are from the area so it would be easier and I have nevere been to Europe so would love to visit .

Anyways, yes the weather here is wonderful . And I have my jacket on is it is 72F!! It is cold I kid you not!!! but the past couple of days is has been low seventies mid sixties. I did go to Walmart today on my flip flops though. I am sorry but I have to rub it in !! But during the summer is your turn to rub it in because I will be frying my brains if I go outside !!!

Night night lovely ladies.

 

[Borboleta]

As promessed here is the picture of Thiago in his bath chair.