any other over 35 first time mums?

[SabrinaKat]

yep, angel -- I miss the old 10 to 5am/6am schedule myself....(You'll remember I keep a log, and honestly, up until about a week ago, he was okay 4-5 nights out of 7, so I can only surmise that it has to be a combination of teething and his cold that is waking him up for comfort at around 2am/3am, thankfully, am 'off' work until 7th January (not so wonderful at 2am, tho)

oh, LO is reacting/fussy in both of our bedrooms now.

would love to go to the cinema as well....oh, well, we'll continue to 'download' our latest releases...hahahaha!

Sesame Street is the coolest ever (although I did stop watching in the mid-1970s), however, that Big Bird was a little strange, but I do get that it's very 'American', not sure of any alternatives? There's a fabulous YouTube video of James Blunt (guesting on SS) singing 'My Triangle' to the tune of You're Beautiful and it always makes me smile (actually when I am very glum, I watch and it makes me laugh!).

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AngelUK]

Tell you what makes me laugh from Sesame Street The Count Censored

 

[AngelUK]

I don't know what is going on with Dominic tonight but he just cried for 20 minutes. We put them to bed shortly after 7 and at 8 he woke crying and become totally screechy and hysterical after a while. Now he has dropped off, from exhaustion probably . I feel so horrible! I don't know if we are doing the right thing and/or if we are doing the CIO correctly even. I mean OH still rocks Dominic to sleep as part of the bedtime routine and of course Dominic still gets a bottle at around 1 or when ever he cries for it. Maybe we are giving him mixed signals? The last two evenings he didn't wake at all till his midnight to 1am feed. Or if he did only very briefly. I had thought we cracked it and now we got this again. Any advice?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hello all!

Angel its all trial and error and sometimes even when you follow exactly the same routine they just react differently! Don't feel bad a little bit of crying won't harm him!

Clio our milk intake is up and down, but now she's taking milk at night cause that's the choice or water that's 8oz so it takes the pressure off! Today she had a yoghurt and 4oz milk in her cereal, the 8oz in bed and 6oz going to sleep, I'm happy with that. But on a bad day its been 7 or 8oz! I put it in her mashed potato on bad days too. Ps what's wrong with lactose free cheese? It should be the same as normal but with the hard to digest sugars removed?

SK the party's in the middle of the night are tough, is he teething? I've been up for 4hours with L screaming on many a night and I have cried with her!

I had an odd day today, went to Tesco with my dad and 2 of my brother's boys who are 9 and 7, it took forever, and then at the checkout the 7 year old said I have flashy dots in my eyes, I don't feel good. He's my slightly different nephew, I think he has aspergers or something, he's just different! So I pulled a fruit shoot out of the shopping and told him to drink it and he was like 'you want me to do what with it?' He was white as a sheet and he couldn't even walk over to the nearest seat. I took L off my dad and he had to half carry my nephew to the seat. He was roasting, so we got him cooled down a drink and back to my dads, gave him calpol and he spent the rest of the day on the sofa! This kid can't stand still for 2 seconds and he lay on the sofa for 3 hours! I wasn't too worried though as he managed to eat everything brought to him but his funny turn in Tesco did take me by surprise!

L is still dosed with the cold and her cough is wild, that's 2 weeks so far! I'm feeling rubbish again, sore throat, as suspect lump in my mouth which I'm hoping is just cause of the cold and not an abscess its so hard to shift anything when you are shattered!

Ok I'm rambling again... Just one last thing, Clio I was worried about all the criticism my mum was going to provide with L and obviously that didn't happen. I would give every penny I have to have just one day with my mum and L. She would love my little girl so so much. Through the stress of the interfering hold on to the happy thought your mum is getting to know your son....

Got to go, can't talk about my mum missing out on L without the tears flowing xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

storm, my FIL died back in 2010 and it's still hard, especially at the holidays. He would have been delighted with our LO and it's so hard (but I do refer to Grandpa Matt to LO, as perhaps his spirit is around?).

I am so grateful that we all are having sleeping problems in that I feel less isolated, etc. LO woke up from his afternoon nap around 3, so we tried to keep him up until around 7/8, which he easily fell asleep and has been moderately fussy, e.g. waking up a little, but with a head rub and a comforting tone, he has fallen back asleep, but it's only 10.20pm, so I know he'll be partying later tonight. It's partly his cold/cough and teething and perhaps developmental. I love him so much, but at 2 am, am so exhausted. My OH has been very good, but if this keeps up past my return to work....well, that's three weeks away and can only hope it's temporary.... I went on-line and looked at reputable sites, and our approach, e.g. rocking, no crying, etc., is okay/reasonable, so it's not our approach, but it's this 2am/3am waking up that is killing us. Therefore, I have no advice to others, except to offer my sympathy and hugs!

we're off to bed now, hopefully, LO will agree!

bye!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[charlie15]

Just popping in to say hello! i'm sorry i haven't had a chance to read through any posts at all!

Sophia will be 6 weeks on Monday, cannot believe how quick these 6 weeks have gone! she has slept so well for the last 2 nights, from 12-5am but mummy couldn't sleep at all!! the 1st night i had drank tea far too late so hey ho, i watched her sleep! and not sure why not last night! she has slept most of the day while we were out but still hoping for a peaceful night! think she may be going through her 6 week growth spurt.

Anyway will be back and hopefully will be able to contribute something of interest!!

 

[AngelUK]

Storm I am so sorry! I bet you feel her loss more keenly now even with the holidays coming up. And your story definitely makes me all the more grateful that I still have my mum.
I am sorry your nephew had taken a funny turn. Was it just something like dehydration or hypoglycaemia maybe? I hope it wasn't anything worse. Poor boy!
And of course you are right a bit of crying won't harm Dominic. I suppose I have been reading too many of those Baby Club posts who are so vehemently against CIO and CC. I have never been against it but still, I feel guilty for leaving my boy so distressed.
Couldn't your OH take L for a bit during the day or could you have her at the nursery for an extra afternoon so that you can get a few hours sleep? Sounds like you really need sleep or it will be hard to shift that cold. I know my sore throat flares up again every time I had a few bad nights too. Of course I know you don't like sending L to nursery as it is and she always picks up another bug there but you do need to look after yourself too.

Sabrina how was your night? Did you get the dreaded party at 2? I hope it went better and that indeed it is just a short phase. I cannot even imagine having to go back to work with never knowing if you will get enough sleep. That alone is stressful. Storm your are in the same situation of course and I know you aren't too hopeful that it will improve for you by then. More to you both!

Charlie how lovely to hear from you! 6 weeks already! Time does fly! How great that she is sleeping better for you! Now you just have to get your body's programming to believe it may relax and not be on the alert for feedings and then hopefully you and S will be in sync again And everything you want tell us on how it is going and how Sophia is doing is of interest! I love reading about little babies and their progress (though it makes me broody lol)

Nothing much to report here. We had a good night apart from those 20 minutes of hysteria yesterday evening. Dominic woke at 12:45 and went to sleep in about 10 minutes after his feed. He woke me at 2:30 cause he whimpered in his sleep but I didn't need to get up or anything as it lasted less than a minute. Sebastian woke me at 5 cause he wanted his dummy and then again at 5:40 but then they both slept till 6:40. So I feel much more rested today
Got to go, they are done playing. xxx

 

[clio]

Oh my! I wrote this AGES ago yesterday morning! I obviously never posted it. Nor does it seem finished, as I seem to have missed people. And, who knows what has been posted since. Oh well, here is my "missing" post...

SK--I'm so sorry! That sounds like a horrible night! Is there a way to figure out a system with your OH? Eric and I had lots of problems in the beginning which directly affected J's sleep because we weren't on the same page. It took some yelling on both sides as we both broke the rules a lot, but eventually it worked out.

Now imagine me ducking my head... Have you considered CIO/CC? I remember you giving your rationale for why you're against it, but I can't remember it. BUT, I will respect it!

Angel--I hear you on the early waking. J got up at 7 this morning, and it was like Christmas! But every other night: between 5 and 6, and rarely past 6 am. But I'll take it over night wakings. I know people say that it doesn't matter when you put them to bed (ie. lengthen the time they're up), it still won't change their wake up time, but it worked for us. 6 pm bedtime and a 4 am wakeup became a 7 pm bedtime and a 5ish am wakeup (but never before 5 am). We'd never make it to 8 pm, though. His natural bedtime is 6 pm.

Because we speak English here in good ol' Canada, we got the American version of SS, but they did throw in a few French segments, the way they throw in Spanish ones in the States. They don't bother with the French ones anymore. Here is the video my mother found bizarrely offensive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs

I don't know. She would probably have a problem with "The Little Engine that Could" as well. After trying forever to shut the conversation down, I finally just said that if these are the values instilled in J, then I am all for it and that's all there is to it, Punkt aus fertig. I also don't see how this is typical "American" thinking.

Oh, and I loved the Simon's Cat video. I've seen one before, but not as funny as that one. We just bought our tree and it's downstairs in the mud room as we wait for the branches to drop. We're not worried about our lazy cat, but rather Jonah attacking the tree. We'll have to put all the straw stars on the bottom. He can't hurt himself too much with those!

Maybe he'll dust it.

Borboleta--I meant to mention earlier that our local BrU was out of Large blue and green Halo sleep sacks, so I grabbed two pink ones. My mother was horrified and made them check the back room for the other two colours but it was a no go. I told her that she's being ridiculous and that size trumped colour any day. So little T and J are now cross dressing at night, it seems.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh my, what a Crap night we had again last night, she started 20 minutes after I got to sleep and I don't think I got a block of more than an hours sleep... I can only assume its this cold, her nose is streaming and she still has a terrible cough. DH is working, we did see him at 6am this morning but other than that we havent seen him since Thursday, I often wonder if that makes L more attached to me as daddy disappears for 3 days at a time. Obviously he doesn't actually disappear but L doesn't get to see him, or me!

So just over 2 weeks to work... I don't know how that is going to work, I'm worried about getting L to nursery the days dh is working as he would be away to work before nursery even opens! Part of me is looking forward to being me and not only Ls mum, but the bigger part of me is dreading it, but we need the money. Incidentally please don't ask me if I can go part time, as I can't, the best my work does is a 4 day week and obviously that cuts your pay, holiday entitlement etc and you have to prove you can do your job in 4 days

I wish I had the option of being a stay at home mum for longer, dont know how I will cope being away from L....

I'm currently sitting in my dads driveway, L fell asleep on the way here and I don't want to ruin her nap!

Anyway in my entirely self centred post only just over a week until we see the paediatrician.. I have this horrible feeling he is just going to say they will review her kidney in a year. I guess I'm just desperate for an excuse for her nighttime screaming.. boy can that we lady scream..

Big hug to all the other sleep deprived mums xx

 

[SabrinaKat]

well, we had an okay night -- LO seems to have been fussy but not fully waking up and slept until about 8am -- I have no idea why or how or if it will work again tonight. He's in good spirits, playful, etc., with a little teething distress/coughing.

Clio - We don't CC or CIO (although I have no issue with others doing it) as it makes me irritable and anxious (not a good thing, as I sweat loads), besides our rocking, no cry approach works most of the time --
Storm -- again, hugs and don't worry about non-personals; sleep deprivation is horrible and I was also very worried about returning to work....

OH is off to get the Christmas tree today (but I think it's too early, we always got a tree around the 21st, and then, the house was decorated for about a week and everything back in its boxes by New Years' Day)....and we took a picture of LO in a Santa hat (will post later) for our Christmas cards (will send out this week). I don't get all Christmassy, e.g. we have our turkey (turkey breast) and the basics already, so it's one holiday I don't stress over....(or maybe am delaying the inevitable? as this Christmas is going to be hard, e.g. MIL -- perhaps I am in denial...me thinks I am, oh dear! at least LO will love the tree, the presents, etc...right? and the cats, too!)

bye!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

storm big hugs re your mam and also about going back to work - I hope it will go ok for you - my mammy friends havent found it as hard as they thought it would be - they were saying oh how lovely to feel like yourself for a bit and read a magazine and get all your lunch and just daft things like that make a difference - fingers crossed for you x

 

[Storm1jet2]

Thanks ladies, have to say the more I think about going back to work the more I think about TTC number 2! Originally I had intended to go back after 10 months but when I actually go back I will have been off thirteen and a half.. oh she's awake!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Bad night for us too! Thiago woke up at 3:15am and we tried to do the CC but after one hour of him crying really hard in his bed I fed him and rocked him to sleep ! Them he woke up at 6:30am with a poopy diaper. So that was the end of sleep for us. Not sure what is happening with him since yesterday he is Mr. crabby. He just whines and cries most of the time he is awake. We went to a friends christmas party yesterday and guess who's kid was the most unhappy one? Yes our kid!!! All the other ones happy and content but thiago.
So today it looks like it will be same crabby day. He is taking a nap now hopefully will be a long one and he will feel better.

He is doing good with CC ( not counting last night ). Has been fast asleep and the two previous nights he slept great.

I was going to go watch the hobbit today with glen and his dad but decided to stay here with thiago and spare my mother in law from watching MR. crabby .

Clio: I loved you story about the pink clothes !!! That would be a great black mailing material !! They are so little ... They don't know. Oh, when I baby sit for this family at the time their daughter was about 3 and their boy was about 1 and half and I remember when she had her little friends over they would get all dressed up in their princess dresses and the little boy comes up to me carrying this princess dress in his hand and say: put the dress on, put the dress on . I laughed so hard and told him: oh, I am so sorry but I can't put a dress on you. And I went to try to find something for him to wear instead of the dress. His grandma was worst because she did put the dress on him ! Good thing his dad didn't see that !!!
Hope you are having the best time in Jonah's party!!! Happy birthday little man !

Angel: so glad you had a good night. I guess that is how they say we have good nights and bad nights. Some more bad nights than others . I talk to a lady yesterday that she has a 15 months old baby and she goes to bed at 7pm and wakes up at 5 am everyday. And the worst is when they go back to sleep and you cannot fall back asslep!!!

Charlie: good to hear from you girls. So glad sophia is doing so well. Time does go by so fast. I have fun with thiago now but miss him when he was little . Enjoy this time with her. Do you have more pictures of her?

Sabrina: glad to hear you had a break with sleep deprivation!! Poor little Finn he must be exhausted too. Can we see the picture of him in the Santa hat?

Storm: first for your lack of sleep, and on missing your mom. As I said before just cry your heart out specially at this time of the year. I always miss my mom the most during mothers day of course. Everyone goes out with their moms and buy gifts for them and it just makes me think of her a lot.
You are going thru a lot of stress with lack of sleep, L's health, taking care of her pretty much by yourself, going back to work, the loss of you mom. It is a lot for one person to handle it. You are truly amazing .

Leeze and rowan: to your girls.

And I keep trying to put food in front of thiago for him to grab it and eat it but he just doesn't do it !! He just looks at and maybe touch with one finger!!! I think I am going to try to make pasta for lunch and see how that goes. I am going to try not to give him purée food and just pieces of food. Sight !

 

[Storm1jet2]

Evening ladies, just wanted to say something I've been thinking about today, DH used to help a lot more with L, bearing in mind he has zero experience with children and
from she was 3 weeks old until my mum died a week later there were days he was left with her for hours, no support from his family and no one to help but my SIL occassionaly.
I felt an immense amount of guilt leaving her and I've always been able
to settle her quicker so I guess I've gradually pushed him out. We used to do CC when she was smaller and I always folded before him and got cross when he left her too long so I took over. Then when she got sick it was me that brought her to bed with me, he couldnt as he's such a restless sleeper I've had a smack or two in the face from his flailing arms.. so now she sleeps with me and he can't help at night and its my doing. I think with my mum dying I do have a slight obsession with L.dying which I know is irrational but its still there.

My DH is generally a decent man, well apart from the times I want to kick his butt and I do give him a bad press! That's all for now x

 

[Borboleta]

Well, thiago woke up in a good mood. He was really cute and we played together while daddy is at the movies. He did have a tiny bit of sausage and brisket ( leftover Texan barbecue ) and a bit off some roll with butter . And of course his favorite desert oranges. Tried to put the food in his tray and he just touches with with big thumb and throws the food on the floor . Oh, we'll I guess I keep trying. He did grab the roll for a while and putted in his mouth so that is good. And I will go buy more gerber finger food puffs so he can work on grabbing them.

Storm: that is good that you are coming to an understanding of how things are working between you and your husband. It does make sense to me. Would you consider trying to talk to your husband about it? Maybe after that he would be happy to help you more and you let him do it. I totally understand how you feel guilty about leaving her with him. I feel that way too sometimes ! If thiago wakes up early and he tells me to go back to sleep, that he will go downstairs with the baby; can you believe that a lot of times I say no that it is okay and HE can sleep more!!!! What is wrong with me?!!!! Maybe is a maternal thing and we think that we are the only ones that can care for our babies .

 

[SabrinaKat]

well, LO has gone off to sleep around 9 and am crossing my fingers --he's already awoken once (but with a few head rubs, went back to sleep). I am hopeful....cross fingers....

OH bought the Christmas tree, but we had to put it in the front hall as it's too big for the living room, but actually, it looks really nice there (white walls and a grey slate floor), but I am so cross! I was able to untangle the lights and then, when I took downstairs, they were all tangled again and then, when I finally untangled again, they didn't turn on! My OH's suggestion was: 'why didn't you test beforehand?', which was NOT appreciated as I HAD! So, at the moment, we only have one string of white lights and in my opinion, they look lovely! (clio, borboleta and other us/canada mummies -- am I wrong that lights in the usa/canada are one string? in uk/ireland, they are on a huge circular line, so it's impossible to find the end! or was that just back in the 1970s/80s) and I screamed and swore (LO was upstairs) and I felt much better! In fact, I have been a right cow all day but not at LO, but my OH -- he's making life more difficult at the moment, he's a hoarder, so I have double cleaning duties and am trying to make the house cleaner before the inspector MIL arrives, e.g. cleaning the linen cupboard where my OH has thrown the clean clothes that I neatly folded....grumble! or having to hoover twice today because of the mess of the tree! oh, well...hopefully, LO will sleep and my grumpy-ness will disappear with some sleep!

bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clio]

Hey everyone,

Hopefully I'll be able to post uninterrupted for the next little bit; I had a long one already to go--just a bit more to write--and had to go because of J and it got lost.

But, here's what I remember. First and foremost:

Storm--you're absolutely right; I should be grateful for every moment that my mother has to spend with J. And to be honest I am. He LOVES her, and she loves him back. We just have problems that go back years and are exacerbated by high-tension periods, like Christmas. Often, we have the loveliest times, though. And I wish you had your mum around still. This Christmas must be very hard for you.

What you wrote about holding on so tightly to L and not wanting her to cry any longer than she has to if you can soothe her faster than your OH makes perfect sense. Of course you will feel an incredibly strong bond with her after the loss of your mother, and with your husband doing shift work 3 days at a time. I don't know anyone who wouldn't feel that way.

Okay, so that's all I remember... Wait:

Borboleta and Angel--I wish I knew everything about CIO/CC and could help, but I only know my kid, and we've never had any trouble with it since we started (he takes after my husband, it's obvious. OH can fall into a deep sleep at any point, never has insomnia, and he wakes early. ) The only thing I do just before bedtime if we've been having a bad day with J is give him Advil (Tylenol is for the day). His mood is only bad when he is overly tired (which he isn't, anymore) or teething. But if J were to be acting strange in the night, I'd assume teething (not even hunger, because by now, we know his "hunger" schedule), and dose him.

SK--Have you considered switching rooms when it's your husband's turn? If F's afraid of the room, then maybe leave him a safe place each night? I know switching rooms back and forth can be hard, but we've been doing it for any number of reasons for a while now, and always have our essentials "ready to go" (ie. easily toss-able) using baskets.

Just out of curiosity, what do you think frightens F so much in your OH's room?

Rowan--oh, I've been learning all about renovating early-ish 20th century houses, although my experience is entirely vicarious through my sister. She spent an insane amount of money on a 1910s duplex in Toronto (Toronto is notoriously expensive to live in--much like London, I suppose). She had to re-do the roof, the wiring, knock through a wall, paint the entire place, and can't even afford to fix up the kitchen. Half a year after she moved in, she discovered that the people who had lived in the duplex next door had just been unnaturally quiet, and when they sold their "half," everything the new owners do can be heard through the paper thin dividing wall. So now she has to look into sound-proofing which costs A LOT. All I can think of is: wait until that baby comes!

Leeze--so the Hobbit was worth seeing? Not that I get to go to any movie anytime soon; we blew our chance with my mum here to babysit simply because we were too tired at the end of the day to even remember to go. But boy do I crave movie popcorn... I guess we could always ask Oma.

As for us, it was J's birthday today (only 13 more minutes to go), and I'm over the sadness. But where on earth did the time go? Everyone finds it so strange that I'm so sad, but I've got an enormous amount of pictures and videos from when he was still immobile but full of character and I can remember them ALL, it seems, and I miss that J. But I wouldn't give up this J for all the world.

I've been looking through his birthday pictures, and can't find a single really good one. But let me see what I've got...

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8080/8279537523_930bc5a1e8.jpg\\

It's not the best pic, but among the best I've got.

He loved this huge bear Oma got him, which he throws himself on and hugs and hugs and hugs, and he also loves the xylophone from my mum. OH told me this morning that he has basically abandoned all of his old toys, and had created a gymboree out of our living room. Since it's small enough (and full enough) to get to surface to surface, he has a routine where he starts on the couch, crosses the gap to the coffee table, then the ottoman, then the love seat, then the hassock, then stops to play the xylophone, throws himself on Bear and starts it all over again. Why even bother paying for Gymboree?

Oh, and I was right. The train had to be salvaged pretty quickly as his cousins attacked it (and he is too young to even know what to do with it). But it'll look gorgeous in his room where it will stay until he is older. I'll just have to think of something to tell my sister...

And I shall sign off with a picture of J and me today, on his actual birthday, making dinner and talking to Oma, who called to give me congratulations, which is apparently the Dutch way to do it. Screw the child--it was ME who did all the work!

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8212/8279564487_8b60603282.jpg

ETA: Okay, you were right--the urge to give him yummy cake overrode any "why give him something he doesn't know about yet" rationale. He took one bite, went "mmm," and then took off, spreading crumbs everywhere. We spent the end of the evening digging them out of the carpet and off of our socks...

 

[clio]

Oh, and SK, I'm not really sure what you mean about the lights. Yes they are certainly one long string (though we had to string three together to fit the tree)--how can they be circular? I can't even imagine what you are describing. Can you post a pic--even if it's off the internet? I'm now fascinated.

Actually, here's what we have (except ours are white--this is just an internet pic):

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v218/ekater/images-2_zps4dd371db.jpeg

 

[AngelUK]

Congratulations Jonah (and Clio) on your 1 year birthday! What a big boy he is and how utterly adorable! Love love your pics!

Cannot write more as OH is like a tired bear this morning and I heard him utter the dreaded "ffs" under his breath when I came on here for 5 minutes with my coffee instead of sitting with he boys So more later xxx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Happy happy happy birthday Jonah! Thanks for sharing the pics Clio, love them.

Oh Angel I did laugh, DH didn't get home until nearly 10 last night, deid goodness knows what til whenever and slept in until 9.30 and is wandering around looking like death warmed up. L cheered him up no end by biting him on the face, I kid you not she's lifted skin off his cheek! I was downstairs doing laundry so I don't know how he dealt with it, but I never heard any crying.. she scratched me down the face earlier and I said NO and set her on the floor and she screamed like I'd thrashed the living daylights out of her! I only said no and set her down!

In other news her cold is just terrible, we had vomit over the bed again, she woke in a pool of sweat and has green snot streaming out her nose, I'm shattered...

SK, I have 3 sets of lights on my tree, one round the mirror, 3 round 3 trees outside and 1 around the canopy thing over the door, I just love lights!

Better go, trying to get L to nap but she's coughing again