any other over 35 first time mums?

[Storm1jet2]

Lol Kosh, I have the crazy toddler already, I'm well prepared for the mayhem!

 

[clio]

Welcome Lady H! Please jump in whenever you'd like. We love new members! Why do you consider your LO your little miracle (on your ticker). J is our miracle because it just took so darn long to have him. Is there a story behind your miracle, if you don't mind sharing?

Angel--J says "gook" too. Which is silly; he can recite the "B" section of an alphabet poem, but can't say "BBBBook"? Slacker. And a racist, to boot.

 

[AngelUK]

LOL thanks kosh, that warning applies so much more to me as a twin mum than any other!
Sorry ladies still no time and appliance for a proper update. But wanted to say Welcome Lady H I know you slightly already from Dee's journal

Dominic isn't making huge progress with the walking as he still prefers to crawl. Must admit I was hoping for faster progress but Oh well. Sebastian has occasionally consented to be finger walked but not much. My boys are slow that way I guess.

Hope all are well. xx

 

[Borboleta]

Kosh: so true. That is why I go back and forth on the idea of another one . Remember I baby sit for a family before that went from one to two and than three. Total mad house . But the hardest was going from one to two hands down. From two to three no big deal. All I know is that I am not ready right now. So little t is my one and only .

Storm: just saw a friend of mine that has a 20 month old and she is 32 weeks pregnant. And her daughter reminds me of L. Full of energy. She is having another girl and said that she is more tired this time around but doesn't really have the time to rest while watching after a toddler. She moved her to toddler bed and she still awakes during the night too once . She is ready for the baby to come but at the same time is scared about having to watch after two babies. . But I think as you just feels exhausted caring for a toddler while pregnant but just do it the same will happen when the baby is here. Lots of woman do it right .

Angel: remembered thiago walking assisted for the longest time? But then all of a sudden he got confident and decided he didn't need help. Dominic will go for it when he is ready .

Claire: I bet that the heat is messing with L's sleep. I don't sleep either when is warm in the room. Could you get her a little portable air conditioner? Is it expensive? I am so spoiled in here that I would die to go to Brasil and have to sleep just with the fan in the summer time .

Indigo: it took us 1 year to get pregnant with thiago and 6 cycles of Clomid. Dd you have to take something? And that is another turn off for me to ttc. If I have to take Clomid again . It is a crazy medicine. It worked for us but still makes you coo coo.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Finn is okay today, but another boo-boo! He tripped over a clear glass container outside in the garden at creche and has a red mark on his lip - we think it's he's not used to wearing shoes (he didn't have to in the baby unit, but moved up to wobblers this week (he had two weeks of settling in last two weeks), so we have to encourage him to wear shoes a bit more...sigh, BUT on a positive note, also, I think he said thank you! I was giving him a bottle and I swear he said thank you, so I said 'you're welcome' and he laughed! and he can drink out of a regular (small sized though!) cup (ok, most of it down his front, but he was able to get some)....he's not a baby anymore, sob. Also, with the tantrums, we just let him scream and cry and then, suddenly, he realises that we are on to him, hehehehe (but I do give a cuddle just in case as I think the transition to wobblers is slightly hard for him (they run and play and talk and everything!)....

better go and make dinner....sigh. I'm tired....

bye!

ps. borboleta - we have a fan on all the time in the living room and I try to open the windows just to get a breeze; at my mum's house, they used ceiling fans, so I prefer a bit of fresh air myself! and when LO sleeps in my room (during this heatwave), I bring the fan in and LO and I both sleep a little better...

 

[charlie15]

Thanks for the link Kosh, a reality check indeed. I do have a good friend has 2 with a 20 month age gap and both are very energetic! I see her in the park often and they both want to run in opposite directions! One plus is she has lost all her baby weight running around after 2 little ones! So they are keeping her fit! I think any age gap has it's problems though. Another friend had 2 with a 3 year gap, the younger is 8 months now and the older girl is so jealous and is doing everything to get mums attention! The baby has been bitten and covered with blankets and all sorts of other crazy things! I feel so bad for my friend, she is struggling a lot and feel for her daughter as she is finding it so tough.

SK poor Finn, tripping up a lot with his shoes

Storm, hope your friend gets some good news on Thursday and hope your MS improves once out of the 1st tri, I cannot believe you are nearly in your 2nd tri! So exciting, what is the due date??

 

[clio]

SK--that's exactly what we say to J: "Gentle, gentle. Tata has feelings like mummy and dada. You don't want to ever hurt living things." Though, after he's beheaded yet another of my flowers, I have in frustration told him, "Great. Now that flower is DEAD." Not that this has stopped his vegetation killing spree.

He'll probably blame his mother when he goes on Oprah to tell "his side."

What a crazy little Finnzilla you have there! The name is perfect! You must be losing weight like mad chasing after him!

Kitty--you mentioned earlier about J's love of words. He does come by it honestly. OH actually just published a book, and my Dad's latest book was dedicated to J. They are just history books, but Eric honestly writes like a silver-tongued angel, even when writing history.

Oh, and that's amazing that you sign with F! And that you make signs up! Was it hard to teach B? It must be so neat to communicate at such a young age! When did he first sign back with comprehension? And I can't remember--who else signs? Leeze, I think, and maybe Rowan? But I know exactly what you mean about their faces lighting up when they finally get you to understand them. J always looks so proud and so excited, which makes me so proud and excited in turn.

Ah, the installation of the baby gate. That was a nightmare! Good for you for doing it the smart way, with the ipad and your husband doing the work. We eventually took ours off because it was so badly installed that it was more dangerous than the stairs (thank you, OH!). How did your installation end up going?

Kosh--that is amazing that G is doing so well verbally. J didn't pronounce things clearly at all until he really made an effort and that could take forever. Oh, and "Ba" meant so much for a long time, too. Only we could tell what he meant by it in different contexts.

Borboleta--I bought such a cute cover for the toddler's pillow I got, but he will not use the pillow. I found it on the ground every time I got him up. So, no, he won't use a pillow. He doesn't care at all, though. He loves just sleeping on the mattress. Have you used one for little T?

Has your OH heard yet? I love how they take their own sweet time, as if nobody's life matters. And I'm glad that your husband decided to do the tree himself. We have to do the one of the front lawn, too, but I'm hiring someone. It's so cheap here because all the houses are essentially the same, lawn wise. It's economy of scale: they made it affordable so now hundreds of households will use the service.

As For Us--J has a few new games. One of them is called "The Bedtime 1-2-3 Game." I guess I tend to number things as I do them (eg. "One...turn off light. Two..turn on sound machine"). J now says these numbers, too, but has no idea what they mean. He just likes repeating them or saying them at the same time as me. But he has added an "action" to our routine. Number Three now means: throw yourself headfirst into your crib, land on your face dohh, and laugh hysterically. I've started to hold him away from his crib as I turn off some lights, and he just laughs and laughs, knowing the heart attack he is, yet again, going to cause his mummy is inevitable.

The other game is called "Going. Home". Borboleta, you might remember this game from the episode of Pocoyo, where Pocoyo, Ellie and Pato all pretend to leave and come back to great fanfare.

Anyway, I bought a small toolbox for my gardening stuff. It was in the backyard, and J picked it up, said "Going!" and marched towards the gate door. Since he couldn't get out, he turned around, walked back, set his shoulders, turned around and said "Going!" again. He did this a few times, but I didn't know why. Then, suddenly, the game changed, and he started at the fence and yelled, "HOME!" as he walked into the yard. I finally remembered the video and reenacted the ballet scenes (don't ask) for him. He came "home" a lot that day.

I'm certain I've missed people, but I have to go attend to the boy. I still haven't finished reading, yet, either, so more will come.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Due date is 11th February, ironically the day my friend killed herself 4 years ago to the day... I really hope I don't deliver on that date...

Charlie my friend the midwife has 15 months between her two (older mum too) and she's survived just fine, she found the second pregnancy hard as she had hypermisis (did both times), but they are 3 and 4 now so she survived

 

[kosh]

i think ideally i'd have a 4year gap.
but age is not on my side unfortunately

 

[Indigo77]

Kosh
I think I've been scared straight after reading that thread. Oh, and this hasn't helped, either...
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/baby-club/1935679-your-2nd-pregnancy-easier-than-your-first.html

Borboleta
N is a soy baby. I never tried Clomid, but I was on my way straight to IVF when I got my BFP.

everyone!

 

[kosh]

sorry indigo, I didn't mean to scare anyone, but I think that's one of the reasons why I always wanted a bigger gap between two, the other being that I love this stage so much that I don't know if I don't want to give him 1/2 the attention. on th eother hand, I never wanted my LO to be a single child... basically, I have no idea what to do!

 

[SabrinaKat]

another biting at creche - sigh...if he's not falling over, he's doing a friendly bite or two...we're trying everything at home, e.g showing him that it hurts, trying to distract him and the 'gentle, gentle' as well. He's such a lovely little boy and 90% so much fun, too I asked the creche to please apologise to the other parents and to stress that we are trying hard to curb at home....sigh.

If we had another...I'd prefer a larger age difference, too (e.g. when Finn was 3 or 4), but at 45, our only option really is adoption...and I remind myself how lucky I was to have him naturally at 43/44 and again, was about to start first proper cycle of IVF that month or the next when I got my positive test....and to be honest, am exhausted most of the time (am feeling alot better, tho!)

hugs to all!
bye!

 

[AngelUK]

Sabrina this won't make you feel better but Sebastian gets bitten by Dominic every day several times. Twice today so far. He cries so much but Dominic won't stop and we aren't always there to catch it. On the other hand Sebastian pulls Dominic's hair and that makes him cry. We live with wild little baby beasts it seems. Sigh.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Sabrina this won't make you feel better but Sebastian gets bitten by Dominic every day several times. Twice today so far. He cries so much but Dominic won't stop and we aren't always there to catch it. On the other hand Sebastian pulls Dominic's hair and that makes him cry. We live with wild little baby beasts it seems. Sigh.

It does, though....the girl in the creche said her little girl did it, too -- it does make me feel better somewhat and the child he bit was fine, and within two minutes they were playing together again, happily, but aaarrrgh! (and Finn pulls our hair, but we are having more success with showing him to pet/pat hair, and he now goes up to other children in the creche and gently pats their hair, and he also will comfort other children when they are upset, so aside from clumsy in shoes and a biter, he's great....

so tired....yawn....!

bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Had a bad day yesterday. Went to my MIL yesterday and thiago is horrified by this tonka truck toy that talks and does flips and stuff so I decided to sell this toy but he saw it yesterday at my MIL and starts crying in fear. My MIL than says that thiago has issues because he doesn't like his grandparents neither other people from the family . I got really hurt by that comment but tried to keep my cool and just told her that once my OH goes back to work and she needs to come by the house to baby sit thiago pretty much everyday when I have to teach my classes he will warm up to her. I know it kills her that he doesn't want to be with her. If I am with her he will totally ignore her. And makes her really sad. But at the same time I wonder if she comments with other people that there is something wrong with thiago. He is not a normal child and stuff like that. . He is not your usual child that smiles when people talk to him as I mentioned here before and he is clingy to me and my OH. Her comment made me look at early signs of autism on YouTube . He does do eye contact with you, doesn't line up toys, doesn't shake his head all the time, he is improving on his language skills. he loves playing with us ( actually he doesn't like playing by himself very much), if we point at things he will look towards what we are pointing and most of the time look at us if we call his name. So the only thing different about him is that he is not very warm to people other than OH and I. Well, actually he does like my niece and nephew. I think he just has to warm up to people more than most babies. My SIL mentioned how similiar his personality is of her other nephew ( From her husband side). Made me feel better.
Yesterday when I was rocking to go to sleep I started crying just thinking how much I love him and how I want him to have a "normal" life. . Sorry for being a little down today.

 

[Kitty_love]

Please don't let her comments upset you. Sounds to me like mil was upset that T didn't run into her arms with smiles and giggles excited to see her, then made a nasty comment to you because her feelings were hurt. So he's afraid if a weird talking truck toy, so what? Some of those talking plastic toys are rather demented if you ask me, no wonder children would be afraid of them!

So he loves mom and dad best, good for him! He knows he can trust you. Poor little guy, somebody judging him and making those crap comments about him...And upsetting his mom! How dare she say stuff like a baby under 2 has 'issues'. Sorry, these types comments really rile me up, especially coming from a mil. In my opinion, she's wrong, sounds like he's progressing fine and developing his own personality.

You were great to keep your cool, best in the long run I guess. I'm so sorry she upset you.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Borboleta what utter nonsense, T is just a normal kid! L for all her madness hangs round my neck and hides her little face in my neck when she meets strangers or people she hasn't seen for a while! Did I mention she hasn't let me leave her in creche in Church for months? I end up staying in with her... She's only her usual bubbly little self when she's entirely comfortable!

T is not autistic and you must not let people think he may be. I say this as auntie to a child who they still can't decide if he has aspergers and my good friends little girl has aspergers.

Big big big massive hug. We all want out LOs to have happy and,healthy futures, its normal to worry about a precious children xxxx

 

[charlie15]

Borboleta so sorry your nutty MIL made you so upset and i agree with Kitty Love, how dare she say that Thiago has issues, that's nuts and an awful thing to say just to turn her hurt around! Sophia had one of those loud toys, a cow, that made her hysterical...that's gone! and today i decided that my legs needed a bit of de hairing, so i attempted to wax them while she was playing...she cried so much, so i still have hairy legs! When we were in Holland Sophia took 4 whole days to warm to her grandfather, of course he was upset, but he did not criticise Sophia! she got there in the end and on the last day she was happy to have a cuddle with him. What i am trying to say is Thiago is a normal, healthy and happy boy who may just have a cautious and slightly shy nature and there's nothing wrong with that, he always sounds very endearing if you ask me, so pay no attention and maybe tell her to make a bit more effort to spend time with him, get to know him and then i am sure she'll see how utterly lovely he is.

 

[AngelUK]

Borboleta the ladies are right! There is nothing wrong with T at all! Sebastian is shy too when he doesn't know people! He used to cry hysterically when my mum came to visit and it took him a day or two to get warm with her. Last time he saw her was immediately smiley cause he still remembered her as it hadn't been so long since the last time. But woah did he not like my dad lol. And my MIL who he hardly sees (even though she lives on the other side of London) makes him cry every time. Some children are more shy than others and have stranger anxiety longer that others. Doesn't mean he isn't perfectly normal! From what you tell of T, I find him to be bright, sweet, affectionate and perfectly normal, just not extroverted like perhaps Dominic.

 

[Borboleta]

Oh ladies,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I almost got emotional from reading your comments . I love my MIL just sometimes she has no filter and says it what is on her mind. I think I mention this hear once that her daughter had a break down in front of all of us ( and she never does that) saying that she was tired of trying to be like her and that everything had to be up to her standards. I felt really bad for her but her mom didnt care. She said to us that she is what she is. Good thing that she is usually a very nice person. But I am sure she passed the "thiago has issues" comment around the family! I didn't say anything to OH because he is like his mother and he would go crazy if he heard what she said. Better keep the peace in the family.