any other over 35 first time mums?

[Leeze]

I love The Cure too! I went through definite goth phase in my late teens and early 20s. Also Siouxsie and the Banshees!

Thanks for the encouragement re DTD. We didn't manage it due to tiredness. We had a little go but Kia woke up and we were tired and it got late. Might try later but exhausted again.
Also.I dont feel.that kindly towards OH right now so its hard to get in the mood!

Borboleta - that's amazing that T can do letters. What a smart little guy. Kia.can do a bit of.counting all.of a sudden which is incredible. Plus she sings Twinkle.Twinkle! She misses some words out but you can tell what it is. Its.the cutest thing ever!

Angel, I don't know how I manage on so little sleep sometimes. Its.very.hard. I feel crazy even considering baby number 2 but its definitely now.or never!

Brain has gone blank again! Re jobs, my OH works in software design for marketing agencies and work in Social Care in a charity supporting.vulnerable families.

Clio - I love the way you write and your descriptions of J. I get a.very vivid picture of.him.and what he's doing. XX

 

[Borboleta]

Okay I am back.

Leeze: I laughed when you said that you were not feeling very warm towards OH !! Than DTD can be most definetely be a hard one !! But like you said this is the time .
And how cute that Kia can sing twinkle twinkle !!! Did you record it? You should save it and give it to her when she is an adult so she can enjoy and laugh .

Angel: I think you should do a test with seb. Can you put a cookie in front of him and see what he does. . Thiago will gag and make a big fuss about a weird testing food but if you put a cookie in front of this boy he will have no trouble swollen the dang thing !!! Than you can tell if the problem is that he doesn't have his molars or he is just a picky eater like thiago is . I am telling you that all the girls that I watched were wonderful eaters, but the boys ... Oh Lord!!! And I got one of those at home !! Yesterday he ate two organic fig bars and loved it!!! And today we went to have lunch with my MIL at a Thai restaurant and he had a couple of bite of white rice but gaged with the chicken and wouldn't touch anything else. Thank godness I always bring fruit with me so he ate grapes and half of a peach.

Clio: I laughed at your question if I was ready to spend money !!! Actually OH is going to make a little less money than he used at least the next 6 months until he get some of the job requirements done. Than he will receive a bonus which will bring him closer to what he made in his last job. So for now, we have to keep being good.
And I meant to ask you a couple of questions:
- can you have your nerve on your hip blocked or something like that? I know you said that hip replacement wouldn't do anything for you, but can they do anything else?
- how is j and his potty training? His toddler bed and has he stopped humping things ? I have been meaning to ask you these questions a long time but kept forgetting.

Sabrina: I can't believe that your dad has not said anything !!! How rude! Do you think he will eventually or he will not even come see you for the holidays? Are you still making a pit stop in Houston? I am still waiting for a picture of Finn.

Charlie: are you getting sad and stressed to go back to work? But I do remember you saying that it was going I be part time at first right? Who is taking care of S? Is she moving everywhere now?

Kitty: you lucky girl. How wonderful that Blake sleeps thru the night at such young age. Do you rock him to sleep or just put him in his crib? Does he sleep on his bedroom or with you and your OH?

OH texted me and he said he is having a fun day . And my hair looks fabulous !!! Nothing like dye to cover your grays!!! Makes you feel ten years younger!!! At least thiago is not wondering who is the new grandmother . Mommy is back . Actually I can't believe that in a little over one month I will be 40!!! My MIL was asking me if I want to have a party for friends and everything ... Not sure . I might maybe since you just turn 40 once in your life right . And nothing like having our friends and family by your side to commemorate your next decade !! I wish I could invite you all ladies to come to celebrate with me .

 

[SabrinaKat]

well, after my non-biting post, LO got me twice!

OH brought an old mobile/cell phone (with the sim card out of it) for Finn and he played with it for awhile, but realised that it wasn't connected, so not very happy! I gave him an old calculator with big buttons and that is now his new favourite toy! sigh....we have a puppet penguin and he's Steve the accountant (my little joke) and Finn thinks it's great (I make up funny voices as I do numbers!), so whilst everybody seems able to do letters, Finn likes numbers!

I'm very sorry about no new pictures, but we are so lazy. I will get OH to take a few and will change my picture soon....(I take terrible pictures)....but Finn now is more a little boy than a baby (sob) and part of me wishes that I was wee bit younger so we could try for a younger sister/brother - I wish I could go punch that doctor who told me at 26 (due to PCOS) that I couldn't have children....! But maybe 20 years ago, modern science wasn't so advanced? At least, I can be happy for storm and rowan and their LOs!

best wishes to all, and I wish sleep for all!

bye!

ps. I have decided, though, as long as storm doesn't mind, that we will travel up to Belfast before Christmas so that Finn can meet her LO (and get in there before B's T - hehehehe!) - although, it appears that Finn has a little (girl) friend in creche - she's a few months older, but very sweet and cute. Finn and Elin sit next to each other and when leaving, she comes to the door and waves. They were friends in baby unit, but she moved onto wobblers a few months ago, so a grand reunion when they met again.......!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Wooo hoo, would love to meet F, SK

 

[kosh]

question for all - we are trying to go for a weekend away. I found the best place to stay in (a boat! ) but just realised that allows smoking what would you do, would you still book it??

 

[Storm1jet2]

Afternoon ladies – just a very quick update – today I got L a toddler bed, I’m so excited – its so cute – this is the one I got –

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S39836495/#/S59851606

and this mattress

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00155087/

of course with the obligatory sheets and mattress protector etc..

I’m keen to see how it goes tonight


Kosh - will you be on the boat with other people? What kind of boat - if its a big boat will you get your own room? I'm a bit confused if you mean a big boat or a little boat that people with have smoked in before? TBH I would be more concerned about drowning that smoke

 

[kosh]

Afternoon ladies – just a very quick update – today I got L a toddler bed, I’m so excited – its so cute – this is the one I got –

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S39836495/#/S59851606

and this mattress

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/00155087/

of course with the obligatory sheets and mattress protector etc..

I’m keen to see how it goes tonight


Kosh - will you be on the boat with other people? What kind of boat - if its a big boat will you get your own room? I'm a bit confused if you mean a big boat or a little boat that people with have smoked in before? TBH I would be more concerned about drowning that smoke

oh, I loooove that bed, it's on my list for G too!!

sorry I wasn't very clear (sleep deprived and full of cold )
it's a teeny weeny boat (10m2). parked. and yes, I am concerned about previous smokers.
small detail: it's in Amsterdam.....

 

[kosh]

forget my question - I've found out that smoking is not allowed in the bedroom only on the terrace.
but after storm's comment, now I'm wonering it it will be dangerous?

 

[Borboleta]

Kosh: since it is parked I think you will be fine. Just make sure G wears a life vest when he is running in the terrace . Sounds like fun!!
I have a question for you: how is Gael's language coming along? Is he saying two words yet? Little t is still not saying two words together but his vocabulary might have about 10 words.

Storm: the bed is sooo cute!!! I would love to hear how she will sleep tonight. She might really like it and decide to stay in her bed. Are you closing the door of her bedroom?
Oh, and by the way, notice what Sabrina said about Finn? He is already cheating on L !!! Little t is being kept pure for her. So he is still the best choice for her !!! You might want to rethink this whole Finn and Lydia idea !! If Lydia could just say thiago's name !!!

Sabrina: you might have an accountant on your hands .
And OH came back from work yesterday and was showing me the options for health insurance (pretty expensive for our little family of 3). But expected I guess. Anyways, he was showing me how they all cover maternity !!! And I was like: " I don't know if I want to have another one!!". Oh the pressure!! Just can't decide !

 

[kosh]

Kosh: since it is parked I think you will be fine. Just make sure G wears a life vest when he is running in the terrace . Sounds like fun!!
I have a question for you: how is Gael's language coming along? Is he saying two words yet? Little t is still not saying two words together but his vocabulary might have about 10 words.

yes, thought about the life vest

re. language - no we are absolutely nowhere near two words!! Gael has said about 45 words (I've written them all down ) including animal sounds, but many of these were just once. I think he probably has 20 words that he frequently uses.
oh and I can't remember who asked before - he used to just nod yes/no but he said 'yeah' and 'ti' (si) yesterday!!

 

[clio]

clio - you and OH are historians as am I -- that our 'jobs', whether as lecturers, SAHMs or language teachers, are different from our studies isn't what defines us -- it's our love of all things historical, which we will pass on to our LOs (at least, that's what I tell myself) and I look forward to starting Latin with my LO (already trying fairy tales, e.g. Julius Caesar and the three little (Roman) 'pigs').....!

I think it's wonderful what you are teaching Finn! And I totally agree that history is like a "bug"--you either catch it, or you don't. You won't find a single graduate student who doesn't have a complete and utter obsession with the past.

However, I'm not certain whether you're saying that it does or doesn't define you. In my life, it actually does, but no one really knows about it. I developed a personal philosophy based entirely on my studies as a social historian and always look at the world in historical ways. So does my husband and my father and our friends. And I don't mind, though it's a bit isolating. For example, everyone will be talking about the "new" dilemma of violence among teenagers (eg. Columbine) and I know it isn't a new dilemma; this juvenile delinquency "crisis" has repeated itself over and over throughout every decade for over a hundred years, and it's actually a moral panic, a cautionary tale, to try and keep teenagers in line.

But because this is a ridiculous way to contribute to a conversation, I usually don't say anything. But I'm very glad that I know that information.

Anyway, bad news on the home front. Total breakdown again, Mental Health Crisis Team called in, decision made not to hospitalize me (thank god), p-doc is on vacation (thank god as well--she's an idiot), but in the meantime, the team told me that there are psychiatrists covered by Alberta Health who do talk therapy, instead of just-throwing-anti-psychotics-at-me therapy.

Turns out, chronic pain and depression share neurotransmitters and similar triggers. And then there is the simple matter of chronic pain simply making you depressed, regardless of neurotransmitters. Though all of this has also triggered either an incredibly quick cycling of mania to depression every few minutes, or I've entered a mixed state, where I experience both at the same time. I suspect the latter. I have an incredible urge to spend and have become obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine wooden railway. I'm currently on the hunt for the cheapest wooden railway Tidmouth Shed I can find. These are classic manic symptoms.

You know, one of the worst symptoms of this illness is that you believe that you are making everything up just for attention. (Doesn't help that my sister actually believes this.) But yesterday, as the crisis team asked me all these questions, they said they were surprised I hadn't reached this state earlier. And suddenly, I knew I hadn't been imagining all the things that had brought me to this point, and I felt such an incredible sense of relief.

Okay, going to go. Please just keep on writing--I am always reading.

 

[Leeze]

Big hugs Clio. I'm a big fan of talking therapy - I'd say give it a go if its on offer. You sound like an amazing person to me and a great Mum, but isn't it typical that you not only feel awful but then feel awful about feeling awful. I think sometimes we give ourselves such a hard time when we need to give ourselves love and encouragement. I know i do it to myself. I expect perfection and to be superhuman!

Kia has started putting 2 words together recently and it's amazing how many she does now. It seems yo happen very quickly once it starts. Examples: Daddy back, Mummy down, balloon gone, this way, baby owl, bottle milk, aeroplane gone, hello cat

XX

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: like Leeze said I would give it a try on the talking therapy. It might help you. It is amazing how sometimes people can say things that just put the whole puzzle together. When my mom past away my sister had a breakdown. It was really bad but going to see a therapist really did help all of us to know how to cope with the loss of my mom and how to move on. Have you done a therapy talk before? And you are so blessed to have such a wonderful support system around you. I know sometimes our OH are a pain but when we need than they are there for us most of the time. And your mom sounds lovely too. to you Clio!!!

 

[charlie15]

Clio x

 

[clio]

Thanks for the support, guys, and yes, I've done talk therapy before. Years and years of it with my beloved p-doc in Toronto. I had expected my current one to do TT as well, and was surprised to find she only dispensed drugs (and badly). I had tried talk therapy with a number of psychologists since I have arrived here in Alberta as well, at $300 a pop, and stopped my search for a good one when the last one told me to take a pottery class at the city college to help with my problems.

But sadly, as much as the talk therapy will help, it won't get to the bottom of the problem, which is the pain and the triggering of the rapid cycling. Mania doesn't stop on its own--you have to drug it away. Once we take care of this, talk therapy will be helpful in conjunction. That won't be for another 10 months though, as psychiatrists are in great demand here.

 

[clio]

Clio - I love the way you write and your descriptions of J. I get a.very vivid picture of.him.and what he's doing. XX

Leeze--that is an incredibly kind thing to say! I love to write! Thank you! I used to write stories about the cat, but then J became more interesting. Now they appear to be merging...

 

[AngelUK]

Sorry ladies, no time for a proper post again, as the boys are a bit full on this morning and I had a one/two day fever thing and am feeling a bit weak.
Just wanted to quickly say Clio tons of . Hope things will get easier again soon for you!

 

[kosh]

clio - no words really, just a very big

if it's any consolation I'm in a bad place at the moment too. been having bouts of bad anxiety followed by uncontrollable crying

oh well

leeze - gael tries to sing twinkle twinkle too. he does the hand gestures (like they do at nursery) for the first verse, and then sings 'apapav' for 'up above'

angel - I'm sorry at my coment re. Seb's not eating being a phase. I hope you didn't think I meant it wasn't important. If it's any consolation (again!) Gael is now only eating ravioli?? he even had the leftovers for breakfast this morning!!

that's all I can think for now
hope all are well

 

[Storm1jet2]

Kosh just get a little life jacket for G, I have a friend who has a boat and they have her twins who are 7 and little girl who is 1 1/2 on the boat all the time I was thinking more L and her crazy climbing!

Clio - no words really - just try and keep in touch and we know you will be reading even if you don't have the strength/motivation/will to post much.

Angel I hope you get better soon!

SK I felt a little sad when you said about it being too late to have any more kids, are you still thinking of adoption at some stage?

Leeze - whats OH done? I don't feel very warm towards DH most of the time, when I'm tired he just iritates me!

In other news we got the toddler bed up last night, L insisted on helping and I have to say I was pretty impressed with her use of a screwdriver! She was putting the screws in the right holes and trying to tighten them up bless her. Then when the bed was up she went crazy nuts jumping on it - up and down on and off - and so on for ages, she didn't want to come downstairs for her bottle and cried to get back up to her bed - more jumping etc.. but she did go to sleep, DH had to settle her at 2am by getting in and giving her a cuddle but was able to leave again and she cried a little a few more times but stayed in until 7:20! That was an excellent night for us! Long live the toddler bed! Oh and Borboleta yes we closed the door but she can open it herself anyway She didn't get out which impressed me more than anything. In a few days hopefully we will be able to take the cot down!

I can also feel the baby now which is nice, very infrequently but teeny tiny flutters - very exciting. I will take a photo soon when I'm less tired. I need to take my wedding/engagement and eterity ring off - they are too tight already!

Must go catch up more later - have a good day all!

 

[clio]

Thank you again for the support, everyone.

Kosh--I am so very sorry about how you feel. You must be completely drained from it. How long has this been going on?