any other over 35 first time mums?

[Storm1jet2]

Aww Indigo sorry you got bad news - not nice. I love the story about N though - so very very cute!

It was a proud day in our house yesterday (joking) L can now run out and show you where the dog did a poo and then runs to the dog and says bum! Lol - if you ask whos poo it is she says 'Mine' so we keep having to say no its Caras! Shes like the poo police - as soon as the dog is done it has to be lifted and binned or she stands beside it shouting 'Ohhhhhhhh' - its funny. In other news shes starting giggling and talking in her sleep - oh help - shes her daddys girl ok. She was in with me this am and she was giggling and then saying 'noooooo' its kind of cute but hard to sleep through!

My dad just got news yesterday he has to go for his op on Friday! Typically DH is working Friday night, so is my SIL and so is my other brother! Thats what happens when your family is full of medical people - so now L and I will have to go down and stay with poor grandpa - i'm dreading her nighttime messing around but I can't leave him on his own as he is getting operated on on Friday and sent home on Friday evening - good old NHS! Seriously not even one night in hospital - I think its madness.. but hey ho...

L isn't eating very much at the minute - I think she is getting back molars but I cant get in there to see! She was crying last night and saying sore - bless her so I gave her some calpol - thing is she LOVES calpol so I'm never entirely sure if shes faking or not

3 weeks and 3 days until I find out if I have a blue or pink bump - and if everything is going ok! The little tyke is boucing up and down on my bladder etc.. I'd forgotten those little pings can take you by surprise

Oh and my dads cat has been eating like a horse, loosing weight and pulling her hair out - so after a trip to the vets she has an overactive thyroid and is on tablets for 10 days to see how it goes - poor thing, I can't even remember what age she is but shes either 14 or 15 - the vet said shes not in pain so thats good, we just need the tablets to try and stablise her - shes eating my dad out of house and home and cant eat enough to keep up with her super charged metabolism at the moment.. shes half bald too from all the fur pulling - bless. I hope she settles down with the meds as she is too old for surgery

Ok better go and do some work!

 

[Kitty_love]

Hi Charlie!! Hope you're having fun!

Hi Clairey - good to hear from you, glad you're checking in!

Indigo - sorry you got bad news, hope it's not too too bad. That is hysterical about the billy goat, belly button! Lol!

Ok, you girls and all these adorable stories of what your lo's say, too funny!!! All of us need to keep a little journal or something to capture all these cute, funny, silly things our LO's say while they're little. Easy to forget as they grow, but will be so fun to look back on later!

Storm - poo police Hope your dads op goes smoothly, I'll be thinking of you on Friday, wishing your family well. Poor kitty, hope the meds help and she feels better soon.

Borboleta - glad you had a good night after the rough ones. How's hubby liking the new job? Coworkers are welcoming, I hope?

Clio, Kosh - thinking of you both, hope you're feeling well.

Hi to Leeze, Angel, SK!

Today Blake is 9 months old! Going to give him some stacking cups when he wakes up from his nap. He's starting to army crawl around, really can move across the room, Just hasn't quite gotten his belly off the ground yet. Oops, he's awake! Love to all!

 

[SabrinaKat]

just a quick one...another altercation with the neighbour this morning as her child was skate-boarding outside our front door at 7.10am (WTF?) and as I was shutting the window, I commented 'what a stupid child', of course, he heard me and went running to his mommy who came screaming at our front door (my OH told her to go away) and then screamed at us as we putting the baby in the car -- I lost my temper and told her off. I should have called the police and I did call into the police on my way home from work, but they said that there was nothing they could do. So, the neighbour banged on the window as I was coming home but I ignored her (which is what I should have done this morning, I know....sigh). As her behaviour isn't criminal per se, there is nothing the police can do, so will have to hope the complaint made to local council will work....

LO is okay today, OH is okay, and so am I....hugs to all....bye!

 

[Leeze]

SK -:that sounds so stressful. Arent they meant to be moving out? Sound like bullying behaviour to me. You really dont need that

Storm - my cat got thyroid problem and recently had one removed but sadly problem is still there. He didnt seem too bothered by surgery and is about 14. But cost us £430 and hasnt stopped problem. Ge'z been on tablets about 4 years and they did keep it under control for quite a while but over the last year he's lost quite a lot of weight. How exciting to find out gender soon. Going so quickly!

Kia has recently discovered the joy of farting - even "big fart' vs "little fart". Although her cutest thing this week was when she walked out the bedroom last night and announced she'd be "Back in a second" as she walked out the door! I say it to her all the time when I'm tidying up or grabbing something from another room but was so funny to hear her say it

Happy 9 months to Blake

Indigo - sorry you got some difficult news. Glad you are comforted by what you've got. It does change your perspective, doesnt it?

Love and hugs to all XX

 

[kosh]

just to say hi while still on our short holiday
having a great time, shame we're going back tomorrow
hope you are all well
xx

----
i scanned briefly through some posts
sorry about the bad news indigo, but great N story. I love it when they get words confused my favorite is when I say to G 'dame eso' ('give me that' and he comes and gives me a kiss (beso)
hope everything goes well with yout dad's op storm
sabrina i'd try to ignore your neighbour as much as possible
loved the 'back in a second' leeze!! so cute!
happy 9 months blake!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Morning everyone!

SK your neighbours sound like loopers! I had a few run ins with my neighbours when L was younger (we are in a semi) as they were doing stupid things like DIY and converting the roofspace at midnight! They did cut it out though and apologised when I text the girl one night and said DIY at midnight are you serious, you have woken L 3 times so far! They didn't realise how bad L was at sleeping as their kids who are 2 months older than L and 4 sleep through ANYTHING! L is such a light sleeper its not funny. Your neighbours need a good slap!

Leeze that is so cute about K, I love the back in a minute - too cute for words The farting obsession is funny too, L laughs when she parps - shes such a little boy - nothing girlie about my little madam at all!

Wow Kitty can't believe B is 9 months already! I've been meaning to ask if you DH is 6 ft 5 how tall are you? My dad is 6 ft 2 and my mum was 5 ft 1 1/2 so they had a big height difference. I remember as a teenager (late teens) having a brief snog (classy) with one of my friends who was 6 ft 5 and I had to stand up 2 stairs Awww he was a nice guy, wonder whatever happened to him......

Kosh glad you are having a good holiday!

Indigo how are you are your shocking/bad news? Still being positive?

Clairey how is Miss L, I loved the photos of her helping her grandma... When L helps it drives me nuts - shes such a hinderence!

Rowan not sure if you still read the thread but if you do hello and I hope the m&ms are doing well!

Angel how are things with you? Any improvement on Sebestians eating these days? We are in non eating days at the minute but I'm pretty sure we have more teeth coming in..

Borboleta how is DH getting on in his new job and how is T dealing with the change in childcare arrangements?

Charlie - hope you are having a fabulous time too and can't wait to hear all about it and the flights etc with Miss S.. you are a braver woman than me!

Clio my dear I hope you are ok - I hope you are at least trying to read the posts even if you can't bring yourself to post for now - we haven't forgotten about you xxx

Not much to report here - bad night for L, she was crying sore bum (classy again - must take after her mum) and I'm not sure if its because she was a little nappy rash, honestly its not that bad though, cause shes constipated today or because we have been allowing her food with lactose in it (not milk on its own yet though).. I don't know - but she didn't want to go to nursery today, but she was ok when she got there - poor pet. DH is working the next few days..

Oh and I'm dreading taking L to sleep at my dads on Friday night, I almost wish they would keep him in overnight because I have no idea how bad L might be.. wish me luck! Oh will try and take some pics of her room as its nearly (but not quite) finished!

 

[Claireyb1]

Another micro on the run post from me!
Off to my best friends dads funeral in a bit. I am having to take lucy with me as the only people I could leave her with are at the funeral too
I hope she behaves? I will have to send her off for a walk with daddy if she plays up
I hope everyone is ok?
Storm. I will have to sleep at my mums next month as she is having her colostomy reversal ( it's been nearly a year since we nearly lost her ) god knows what Lucy will do? Although she sleeps fine when we are in Ireland? ( by fine I mean, no worse than normal )
I hope it all goes ok for your dad and for your sleep!!!

Hugs to all.
Xxx

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Claire sorry to hear about your best friends dad - you just need to get through the service with little L and then I am sure she will be a welcome distraction - hope all goes well!

 

[SabrinaKat]

thanks, guys -- I finally got through to the 'community liasion (sp) officer' of the police and I asked for a meeting. I briefly explained the situation and that the council and the owner were both denying any responsibility and that fundamentally, I simply want to be left alone and that she uses her 5 kids as a excuse for her behaviour (e.g. the parking, the rubbish, the loud music are ADULT things) and whatever my behaviour is, my LO has a right to play in his own garden without fear, etc. We are meeting the CLO garda (police) next week -- I said that I was referring to civil jurisdiction but it could take a year for that and I didn't want to meet up with her, etc., just for her to recognise our rights as well! Unfortunately, there is this scheme where an owner signs over the property to the local council FOR FIVE YEARS, so this lovely woman probably thinks nothing can stop her or evict her, but my formal complaints to the council, the tenancy board (civil), and meeting with the police etc., will constitute evidence of my ultimate goal -- I plan to sue the tenant in civil court (and the council and the landlord) for their anti-social behavour, etc. If she moves, then no court action.........aargh.

LO is being a right mister (not a girl, so can't use 'madam') with his biting, his screams, and his general annoying behavour -- my OH comments whenever I complain, 'but you wanted a baby' - yes I did and I love Finn, but OMG, today, OH came home at 4.30 and was just in the way of housework, laundry, and bottle-making - according to OH, to whom I reading this to, 'mommy would be better off living by herself'. Personally, I think my OH would be a wonderful example of extreme hoarding on CBS' HOARDERS! We are actually laughing (a little) in that my OH would probably get loads of benefits and not have to work if this were the case. Unfortunately, it is not. We did write (I did) a letter to his job explaining why the earlier shift was impossible, etc., and they seem to be somewhat understand...maybe...who knows...?aargh....!

storm - good luck friday night!
clio - hugs!

and hugs to everybody!

bye!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Sk just a quick one, doesn't dh have the right to considered flexible working as F is under 4? Or is that a UK thing?

 

[AngelUK]

Good morning ladies, sorry I have been so silent again. Not having a good few days. My AF is now almost 2 weeks late and I wonder if my thyroid isn't to blame. If you remember, I had a blood-test that showed the levels were a tiny bit off. I should have gone back for a follow up test but forgot. Will have to schedule one now I guess. At any rate this would explain the down feelings I am having.

Also I think I am a crap mother who loses her temper with her boys and sometimes shouts and I am so ashamed! I have been reading up on things how to improve my anger management with my boys. I also wanted to find out why Dominic and sometimes Sebastian bang their head on the floor in frustration and are much more tantrummy than they used to be. So I did a bit of research and came across Dr. Laura Markham's site called aha parenting which is very useful so far and has shown me where I inadvertently went wrong in some ways and I am trying to rethink my approach as I do agree with what she has to say and I do want to be a more attachmenty parent (though I still hate the term!). But it is hard with twins. In one instance she basically says that if your child is super clingy, to cling extra hard to them and let them be the ones to pull away first. That is all fine but for example this morning Sebastian clung to me soo tightly! I love this and I don't want to let go either. But I need to get Dominic up and dressed too and give him cuddles too, if he will permit. So while I am standing there holding my little boy tightly, my other one looks up at me and cries cause he wants to get out as well. But as soon as I thought Sebastian was done cuddling and I set him down in his cot he started crying and banged his head against the cot rail. So when I bent over to comfort him, he grabbed my hands as he wanted me to lift him up again and to be held again . And I am trying to be patient and understanding with Dominic when he is frustrated and screams and doesn't want me to dress him when he wants his bottle instead but I have to get his sleeping bag off and a fresh nappy on him!
So basically I am feeling like I am failing my boys. I am going to spend more time in the front room with them cause I am sure they are acting up cause they need me there more. I wish I could let them roam the flat freely but I cannot baby proof every where. For example we have soo many cables from our computers and I know the boys will want to investigate the router and speakers in their room. I have no idea where to store the big vases that now sit on the kitchen floor in a corner and I have no idea where to put poor Alfie's food and water which are in the kitchen too. So far he isn't a counter jumper and I want to keep it that way, so his food cannot be up on something either. As for their own room, I know the boys are going to reverse their laundry basket and their nappy pail and shred the packaging of the wipes and nappies we have piled up. Sigh, I have too little storage room on the whole and dangerous things sit out especially in the kitchen that would be lethal for my nosy boys. But if I let them be free and keep an eye on them I would have to tell them NO constantly and the more I say that, the less they hear me and the less they will heed it and the more they will do what they shouldn't. I am feeling very frustrated and sad this morning. Also a little scared cause I want to do so well by my cherished boys and I am not sure I can or know how
So between this and the constant PMT, I am feeling a little fragile lately but thought I'd let you know why at least I am not posting more. But I am not asking for pity or sympathy, I promise! Sorry for such a selfish post I don't think I have time for more at the moment but will try again tonight when the boys are in bed and OH is cooking maybe.
I am reading all your posts and sending lots of and love to you all.

ETA: Just got AF. Hopefully the cloud will now lift soon off of my head

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Angel you are not a bad parent at all! I shout ALL the time, way more than I should and it makes me feel bad too - tbh L doesn't much care if I shout. Its hard enough with one never mind 2 little people looking for your attention. Sometimes L is super clingy and I find it very difficult when I am try to get her dinner etc.. ready when we are home alone, which is 3 or 4 days a week as DH is at work. Other times she pushes you away when you try and hug her. As for baby proofing, I pretty much haven't bothere - which is why the fake rocks on the gas fire now have lots of teeth marks in them, the vase (although metal) is usually sitting in the middle of the living room and my house generally looks like its been trashed - honestly its a disaster - I will try and take a photo later to cheer you up

Do you get out much with the boys? I find a day in the house with L is just hell! We need out - even if its just to someone elses house, she needs a change of scenery and if she can get outside all the better - but a day in the house... no no no no can't do it - too much hard work trying to keep her entertained! Even now when she likes some tv and colouring in and books etc.. but more than a couple of hours in the house and she goes stir crazy.... I'm dreading the winter. Actually it was raining so much on Saturday that we went on a trip to IKEA just to get out, had coffee in the cafe and L loved it cause she could run around and it was noisey and entertaining...

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT - I think you deserve a medal coping with 2

Glad AF has arrived and I hope you start to feel a little better, but remember my lovely that we all face tough times and feel bad about things and I for one SHOUT and it doesn't make us bad people, just frustrated that we aren't doing our mummy job as perfectly as we probably thought we could.. and yet probably doing it a hundred times better than many other people!

Everyone is here to support everyone else so today you get the BIG HUG award for a lovely caring mummy who is just a little stressed and down

 

[kosh]

angel - first off hugs: to you! of course you are not failing them!!
then, I can't imagine how difficult it must be with twins, I really have no idea how you do it! as you said, it's 'easy' to attend to their needs when it's just one baby, but how do you do it with twins when their needs are different??
I really like that website too. I found useful tips to help them deal with frustration and strong willed babies.

re. baby-proofing rooms etc. this is something I actually meant to ask you ladies, do you have one room (or more) 100% (or almost) 'safe' where you just let them on their own? do you have gates in all the stairs? because we went the other way and did very little baby proofing but that means we have to be (almost) 100% of the time with him


I will post about our holiday shortly, need to get things done at work!

 

[Kitty_love]

Hi Angel! Glad you posted about how you're feeling. I totally agree with Storm, in no way are you a bad parent!!! We're just human, and sometimes we get frustrated or angry, it's ok. I actually think its better to let it out a bit than hold it in and let it eat at you. Plus, you recognizing that you'd rather not shout and researching baby behavior and parenting techniques shows that you care so much and are definitely doing good by those two little guys! Thanks for posting the link btw, I'm going to check it out for sure

We're using a playpen right now and a baby gate on the open stairs from family room to basement, but that's about it so far. No gate on the stairs from main level to upstairs. Same as you, cat food and water (and way too many toys for 2 cats) will remain on the floor, cords (tv, computer, etc.) in family room and den. Blake only gets to roam around if one of us is wit him, but at the moment he loves his playpen, so no worries yet. I think I'm in denial, that he will go from baby to 6 yr old We do plan to completely baby proof his room once he's in a real bed and able to walk around, plan to have this be his safe space.

Oh and I really feel for you lacking storage space, Angel! Seems small, but so important when you want to get "stuff" out of the way. Wouldn't want to ruin your garden, but maybe a small storage shed or something? Not sure what I'd do without our basement (Yes, I am a packrat!)

Oh, and I used "stern voice" to Blake once a month or so ago, said something mean like cant you shut up for 5 seconds when he was whining and whining one day. He immediately stopped whining, turned to look at me, and gave me a huge smile. He's such a character!

Seriously, you're really doing great Angel! It's obvious your boys adore you, and you adore them back. I'm not so good with advice, but I'm always here to listen. Lots of love

Kosh - cant wait to hear about your trip!

 

[Indigo77]

I just want to say that baby proofing will change your life & it's so worth the effort & expense. It really does change everything & I can't tell you what a relief it is to be comfortable in your own space. The amount of emotional energy spent on policing & worrying (& you don't even realize how much you're doing it!) is drastically reduced & all that wasted energy is better spent enjoying your space with your LO. I can't emphasize enough how much it changed things for us!

BTW, when we bought this house, we installed a mouse hole in the door of one of our bathrooms so our dog couldn't get to the cat food & so they'd have a peaceful place to be away from the dog. The same now applies to N. It looks like this...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000AU64PK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1379004635&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

We have a large TV that has yet to be babyproofed & in always ill at ease when we're in that room. I think we just need to put it in storage or purchase a higher & sturdier piece of furniture to place it on, but can't seem to find the time to get it done.

We put quite a few things away in storage....the shed idea is a good one.

I will say that it's a PITA to babyproof, but it's so worth it.

 

[Kitty_love]

That mouse hole, cat thing is so cool! Thanks for posting the link!

 

[Leeze]

Angel - everyone shouts sometimes. Its a human reaction. I like aha parenting. I also recommend you "like" little hearts books on facebook and/or orange rhino. These are both amazing resources with lots of ideas and tips on more gentle parenting - basically to help parents from losing it! I find them both to be life-savers.

Re: baby-proofing - we have mostly done it but there's still a few things like the cat food bowls and cat litter plus some electric cables in the bedroom. I was actually thinking only today though, that Kia has recently really calmed down in terms of being much more interested in playing with actual toys than causing havoc somewhere! It felt endless in terms of her constantly having her hands in the cat's water etc but now she very rarely does it. So, remind yourself that it will get better soon XX

 

[Indigo77]

Angel...I have difficulties w 1 'easy' boy, so I don't know what to say other than you seem to adore & cherish your boys & are always looking for ways to be a better mother & I very much admire you as a mother. You are not failing them.

Reading your post broke my heart.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Hi all - just a quickie - my dad is through his hernia op! YAY - hes back on the ward, should be getting out later and Miss L and I will be going to stay over tonight in case he needs any help (not that L will be much help) - she was slam diving my dad last night so I need to make sure she doesn't jump on him! Just happy dad is through his op

 

[Kitty_love]

Wonderful news Storm!!! Hope he has a quick recovery, and that little L sleeps well tonight.