any other over 35 first time mums?

[clio]

hello, all! sorry for the non-communication, but the staff room computer at work wasn't/isn't working and at home, somebody gets cranky if he isn't at the laptop and I don't mean OH!

absolutely nothing here, think I am getting AF, but not too fussed to be honest. Um, we are seriously talking relocating as we are both getting fed up with economic woes and having so little money (to be fair, though, I am only working part-time, but that is my decision until LO gets a little older OR...I get a proper academic job and I am starting to look at those (not alot of hours at university, but loads of preparation at home, but I have loads of 'cheat sheets' from previous teaching and if I do language teaching (in that case, Latin), it would be fun for me anyway), so might be returning to USA or Canada next year. Clio - if you or OH hear of any jobs, let me know! We're just tired of working hard and paying loads of taxes when our lovely neighbours don't work and annoy us with the LOUD TV!

Sounds awful! OH is looking on something we get called "the Hist List"--it's news for all things history.

Okay, he's found:
University of South Dakota--Assistant Professor for Medieval/Classics. (I don't know if that's both or just one, but for Historians it's a focus in one).

As for Latin, have you tried: https://www.aclclassics.org/jobs?

I'll tell OH to keep an eye out.

Re: first names--OH asked J to identify us by our first names. "Where's Eric?" got no response, but mine did. After that it was "EvaEvaEva" forever. And I hated it, so I can sympathize.

ETA-- My iPhone just got wiped because it couldn't accommodate the new update! Thank goodness for Photostream! After I realized what had happened, I quickly added the pictures my phone was "streaming" onto my mac and made them part of the photo library before they were stripped from the phone. But I lost videos! This has never happened to me before!!!

 

[Indigo77]

Leeze...good luck! Are you using FF?

Angel...it must be so lovely to see such sweet moments like that!

Baths are hit or miss here, too. He has to be a little bit tired to enjoy them. If he's energetic or in middle of something, I don't even attempt it anymore. The problem is that he really needs a bath everyday now, so if I don't think he'll cooperate, he'll take a quick shower w my DH instead of a bath. He is also more content in a bath when I have the faucet on. He likes filling his cups, etc..

Clio...the gig comment was just slang, sorry. DH doesn't lecture much...he is classed as staff & not as faculty, although he teaches 1 honors course for fun each year. He's the Uni's Director of Int'l Studies & has been in this position for 7 years, or so.

My family (not DH & N) has been high maintenance lately & I'm a bit fed up. I'd like to distance myself for a while, but it doesn't seem possible right now. I feel like they're sucking me dry, though.

Kosh....I'm sorry you argued w your mother. I hope it didn't get ugly. How is gorgeous Gael? I wish you'd post more pics of him.

& to everyone!

 

[Indigo77]

Oh no, Clio! You lost your videos?

 

[clio]

It's okay--turns out "returning iPhone to factory settings" really meant "oh, we can update your iPhone no problem, and no, you haven't lost anything." I think that's a huge problem in translation.

Still waaaay behind and reading!

 

[clio]

He was so mad I left him and took L and the dog and went to my dads for 5 hours without him and then the git went to bed last night and slept right through and left me looking after L all night (not a great night as she was poorly) and yet I was the one that had to get up for work today and he has today off to do with as he pleased while he hoofed L into nursery at 9 am... Honestly I could scream.. actually I might just scream... ok I need to stop now.

Okay, so I'm not saying that my way is better, but I would have hoofed it myself, but with my foot into OH's side when he wouldn't get up in the night. What's his justification? Because when you're NOT working the next day, there are certain rules about who should get up...

ETA: Big news. I just cleared my full 14 GB iPhone to just under 8 GBs. I got rid of all the photos that have already been transferred, but I can't bring myself to erase any of the videos, even though they go as far back as March, 2012. I'm an iPackRat!

 

[clio]

Have I mentioned that we're back to some very, very unsuccessful CIO nap times? J really, really wants to kick that last nap, and his mood is horrible if he manages to do it for that day. Which is almost everyday these days. He's also decided that he wants a bottle of milk in the morning, and he wants it in his darkened, ready for bed, room, and once finished, he clambers back down off our laps and demands to go downstairs again. If we put him to bed, he'll yell for as long as we've decided to CIO. He is persistent. We're up to two to three attempts a day to put him down. He is such a grumpy bear.

Question for all: Are all toddlers like J? I asked it before, but it was more rhetorical. Now I need to know. Do they all move all the time and do you feel like you're ALWAYS chasing them? My mum said my sis and I were "normal," so I assume we weren't like J. But this is what I'm looking down the barrel at right now: a child who refuses to nap and sleeps less than 12 hrs at night, who is teething back molars, and won't stay still.

And I'm so grumpy that I yelled at J when he came in to the living room with a bowl of mango, and two or three disgusting pieces in his mouth. He deliberately let the pieces dribble out of his mouth, down his front and onto the carpet. He then turned the bowl upside down and dumped the rest. And I got sooo upset.

Oh oh, now I'm getting mad at auto correct. REAL mad. Where is that cat when you need soothing???

Leeze and Borboleta--J is a huge nighttime pee-er but we got the Huggies Nighttimes ones and we've had no leaks since. Or if we do, it's just time to go up a size. We're still in size 4 for them, as well.

Charlie-- Sophia's first tooth! Welcome to hell.

Kosh--seeing as they're all being whiney/cry-ey, I think it's back molars for G, too. He and J are basically the same age, right? I'm sorry his sleep is even worse now!

Storm--I never asked: are you feeling better?

Angel--I think you should go and have a marvelous, kid-free time. I'm sorry that your friend is still in a poorly state (I assume there are at least some "better-ish" times?). It's been decided that J and I are going on the 2nd till the 11th to Toronto/Oakville. Oakville is where I grew up and my parents still live there, and it's where we will stay. It's only a 40 minute drive to Toronto, so some even consider it a suburb, but it's a town in its own right.

Thank you for the compliments on J's video. I love that horsie too! I'm so bad, though. Considering the problems I have with my SI joint, you'd think that I wouldn't want him near horses (and you'd be right), but I've been teaching him the proper way to mount and dismount, how give Horsie's backside a wide berth, so he can't get kicked (by a plastic horse!), and he must also always give Horsie big thumps on the neck and say "Good job! Good job!" even if J's session with him wasn't the greatest. I also took him to my old barn while my mum was here. A horse did a big snot blow on all three of us, and J took it in stride. He whined a bit, but then stopped when we went back to give the horse a big slap on the neck and say "Good job! Good job!"

SK--J suddenly decided that he preferred standing up right by the faucet so he could get some proper water time. It's like a shower, but not. Could that help--not making him sit? Or putting sticky bathtub letters or something on the wall at (standing) eye level?

Leeze-- good luck!!!!

Borboleta--I love your description of your dancing!

Okay, got to go--hopefully more later!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Clio - L never stops, I mean never, if she's not asleep she is running around. Ok in fairness she will stop to draw over things (I see the Portuguese limestone fireplace and her activity table are the latest victims).. but she is nuts! My dad says I was nothing like that and she is an energetic wee beastie I'm constantly wrecked running after her as she has little to no common sense. Dh and I were just saying tonight we had no idea once she started walking that from there on in she would run riot! Todays injurys whilst fully supervised include a minor graze to the knee, bump on head and mystery scratch down face! How?? As for dhs justification... Um none, he's tired too....

Quick funny story we had all congregated in my bed this am, basically while L slam dives us and sits on our heads and giggles and I pointed at dh and said 'who's that' to which she replied 'a man'... Lol dh couldn't argue and she hasn't called him Paul since the last incident...

I'm feeling grand, the ms has gone thank goodness, I've managed to twinge my arm lifting little madam though... *sigh* right better go and wrap nephews birthday presents for tomorrow.. lunch out tomorrow with L and dh is working.. oh crumbs! Oh and I'm not allowed Julia for a girl as apparently that's the name that was chosen for dh as they were convinced he was going to be a girl!

 

[Indigo77]

Storm...when is your gender scan?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Storm...when is your gender scan?

4th October, less than 2 weeks now

 

[AngelUK]

Good morning ladies

Sabrina I am sorry the bath is such an issue. If it is cause he is getting cold, could you not keep pouring warm water over him? Sebastian loathes the hand-held shower-head so we have three water jugs there instead. Two pre-filled with clean water for their final rinse off and the third that we just fill with bath water to just get the worst of the soap out of their hair first and to wash them down with. And even though water still gets in his eyes, at least it isn't from the dreaded shower-head. But I am guessing you probably don't wash his hair every time you bathe him and this might not be the problem with Finn?
I am still crossing my fingers for you that AF stays away for the next 8 and a bit months

Kosh my poor woman! I so wish something would change for you. And to have a fight with your mum too! A bit much! I am sending tons of and really hope things will get better soon. They have to!

Storm wow your dad's op sounds a lot bigger than I had thought! I actually thought it would be one of those tiny almost invisible incisions! Now I am even more outraged that they sent him home the same day! I am glad he is doing well though and sounds like he is the brave stiff upper lip type to only have told you about this now.
I think my boys suddenly had a growth spurt too after I suspect they had slowed down quite a bit. That, or I am again shrinking all their clothes in the wash. Yesterday Dominic wore a t-shirt that is 12 to 18 months and his belly was showing! Now, I do think he has put on a bit of weight since we changed feeding styles but still, it was decidedly too short in the back too. So this morning I put them in outfits my mum got them which are 18 months to 24 and they are not at all too big as I thought they would be. But I guess they are as good as 18 months old now anyway. Wow, where did my tiny boys go?! Their legs now are too long for the changing table, on which I used to be able to change them sideways, they were that small. Bittersweet!
As for L's hair, are you like me who prefers a short bob on little girls? I don't think long hair is unattractive mind you, I just think it is so cute when they have what I call a little French girl cut and a hair slide at the side (pretty much as I think Lydia has it at the moment). I always imagined if I had a daughter she would have that.
Shame Julia was vetoed Back to square 1. What is your DH's choice for a girl? And where are you on boys' names?
Glad your MS has gone completely and you are feeling so much better. How would you say does this pregnancy compare to your first? Is it easier or you just know what to expect now and aren't as bothered?

Leeze thank you, yes I hope the boys will grow up being close and love each other. I am worried about that as there is no brotherly love at all between my OH and his brother who is a total so and so and a druggy to boot. My own brother and I didn't get along at all when growing up either, and though I do love him now, I don't think we are close close cause we are completely different. Do you have any siblings?
I am always very excited to look at pee sticks, so if you have a squinter, do please share? Still crossing my fingers for you!

Charlie have you tried the pool yet with S? Hope it went well? When are you coming back? I have lost track of it again but I think it mst be end of this month, right cause you said you'd be going for 4 weeks if I remember correctly. I am glad you are having such a good time Hopefully Miss S will sleep better again soon now that she has cut her tooth!

Indigo I think my boys would benefit from bathing more often too but we don't manage it more than twice a week maximum So they are proper piglets ! But as for showers, wow I'd be too scared that they would slip out of my arms Or I would slip. Plus it isn't as if they ever hold still, apart from Sebastian disliking the shower head and probably trying to get away.

Clio glad you didn't lose everything after all! How dreadful that would be! As for videos and iPhoto, doesn't yours download those automatically along the photos? Mine does. I usually keep all my photos on my phone too cause I cannot part with them which is silly. But it is so hard to decide which of the very first ones I should keep on the phone and which should be deleted. I have thousands!
Sorry the napping is such an issue. But I agree, he really is too young to not sleep during the day. Wish I could advise but while Sebastian doesn't always sleep when we put them down for napping, Dominic usually drops off like a little angel within the first 4 minutes. So does J eventually sleep after a bout of CIO or has he the stronger will than you and you just give up?
As for toddlers being like J and us always chasing them, I don't think we qualify for that yet as my boys aren't so steady on their feet yet and have very little room to run away, even if they could. But Sebastian is on the whole very happy indeed to just sit on my or OH's knee and play with the label of his muslin while watching the dreaded boy in blue lol.
As for dribbling out mango, Dominic does this too when he has had enough, that or chuck them on the floor (which is a double bummer cause that means mummy cannot gobble them either then) Lucky we don't have carpet I guess.
And as for my kid free night, I am looking forward to spending some alone time with my mum but I know I will miss my boys soo much! I haven't been away from them over night ever!
As for Andrea, no she doesn't really have good moments unfortunately. She has been transferred to the University Hospital now cause her gastroenterology specialist at her super duper leading luxurious private clinic has given up on her. I kid you not! Her father did a search online to find some sort of hope for help and found out that there is a professor at the university hospital not half a mile away, who specialises in Crohns and Colitis Ulcerosa and has been granted several million Swiss francs by the government for his research with stem cells etc. Yet her specialist never even mentioned this to her, nor the new meds she has been put on now. I haven't heard from her in months but her mum called me a few weeks ago to tell me all this. I hope things are looking up for her now but last I heard, her body had given up healing. So she really is very very ill.
Do you think part of your problems with your joint come from riding? That would be so sad! But of course there is no guarantee that J has inherited the tendency towards that joint weakness so he might enjoy riding one day? And the story of the snot and the good job is hilarious! I absolutely loove J stories!

Nothing much new here really. I am still looking at houses but really should sort out this flat first to have a new estimate done and see what we could afford in the suburbs. I especially need to sort out our bedroom as the carpet is totally moth eaten and I have clothes (that no longer fit) coming out of 2 wardrobes. It looks dreadfully untidy and makes the room look really small. I probably should dismantle the two small wardrobes and two chest of drawers and get one large wardrobe that fits everything to make it look neat. Sigh. And I do love how organised those Ikea ones look. But I hate tidying up! And I get so attached to clothes even though I might not have worn them in a decade. I am crazy thinking I will ever fit into a size 10 (I think that is a size 6 in the US) again lol
Got to go, my boys need me!
Sending tons of and love as always. xxx

 

[Indigo77]

Clio....N is never still, either...nor is he ever quiet...even in the car, he will 'sing' loudly & while trying to figure out how to unbuckle his car-seat buckle. He's a busy, busy boy. I love it, but sometimes it gets tiring & I can't wait for my DH to get home & take over. He also has this habit of throwing anything he doesn't want to eat onto the floor. He's getting better at not doing it, but needs to be reminded.

Angel...I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I don't know the backstory, but I hope there is hope for recovery for her. I hope you enjoy your time without the boys! I think you will find yourself missing them, but it's ok to relax & enjoy yourself.

Storm...that's right around the corner! lol at the 'a man' story! On the other hand, perhaps if he spent time with her on his days off, she would call him Dad more often....

Leeze...when are you testing? How long did it take to get pregnant w your first?

N & DH went shopping & let me sleep in! It's rainy here today & I have a mountain of laundry to do. I'm hoping I can persuade DH to take N to the Children's Museum so I can get a few things done around here without distractions.

I don't remember if I told you the blackbird story?

We taught N that the blackbirds say 'kaaaaw, kaaaaw, kaaaaw'. So, now when he sees birds, he says, 'cock, cock, cock!' lovely, right?

& to everyone!

 

[clio]

Morning everyone!

So, last night, while speaking to my mum, I called my parents "assholes." As you can imagine, the trip home is cancelled.

I was really down yesterday and very snappy. OH took J to Oma's, and I called my mum. I told her about the "Mango Incident," and my mum's response was: "He's sensitive so he's picking up on your moods. He was obviously trying to tell you that he wants things to go back to normal." But this actually did freak me out, because this is truly my biggest worry--that he'll become afraid of me and resent me. Or grow up a bundle of nerves, afraid of setting me off.

After a quite a bit of arguing over the phone during the course of the day, I finally yelled: "I am so upset by what you said because I WAS RAISED BY ASSHOLES AND I DON'T WANT TO PUT HIM THROUGH THAT!!!"

Awesome.

 

[AngelUK]

Oh dear. Clio .
But you know while I am sure your parents aren't a-holes really, I too am afraid that I will repeat the mistakes my parents made with me and my brother. It is worrisome to all who weren't lucky enough to have the perfect home-life I should imagine. So far, from what you told me, J is just a self confident little boy and does such thing cause he is into exploring all sorts of feelings and tastes etc. So I think that him dribbling out the mango was in NO WAY cause he picked up on your mood but rather cause he is a toddler and he has no concept of what is icky to us. And I suppose being aware that he does sometimes set you off, is the first step to managing your response, right? So I am not worried too much and I doubt he will be a bundle of nerves!

 

[Indigo77]

Agree w Angel &

Sorry Clio, but your mother's comment would have set me off, too. WTH?

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies,

Clio: you are a wonderful mommy, and no matter how we loose our temper with them the most important thing is that you share your love with him, play with him, spend quality time with him. When I was growing up I was always afraid of my dad because he was a very stern man. But even though I had this feeling forwards him when he was not mad about something or someone, he would spend wonderful time with us, playing and being loving towards us. So I knew he loved us and his family was the most important thing to him. So even though you might have doubts of how J will take all that is happening to you in the future, just know that you love him and you are doing your best as a loving mommy that you are. And we all have days when we just don't have a lot of patience and snap at people or our OH's or LO's. Maybe when you feel better you can call your mom and just tell her you really didn't mean to say what you said .
And thiago is as you know not a super active child. But he is a wiggle worm!! When he doesn't want you to hold him it is like fighting a Jiu jitsu match with him !!! And I can just imagine how tired you must be if J doesn't take a nap! Thiago still takes two naps because I rock him to sleep otherwise I think he would be taking just one nap. But keep trying. Like angel said he is a little young to not take naps anymore. Maybe is just a fase .

Sabrina : I hope you don't get your AF .
And the bath: thiago got so used to me bathing with him that if I try to bathing by himself he hates! He cries most of the time he is in the tub. I have toys and everything and nothing works. So he takes baths with me . He likes that I leave the water running in the faucet a little so he can either drink it or fill things up. Another thing that can be bother Finn is that he doesn't like his eyes wet when you rinse his head. What I do with thiago is I tell him that we need to brush his teeth so lay him on my legs ( head towards my knee) and brush his teeth than I let him have the toothbrush and rinse his head while he is laying on my legs so water doesn't go in his eyes .

Angel: I loved the story about Dom being all loving towards seb. How cute is that !!
And so sorry about your friend. I hope the new doctor can find a way to help her.
I would love to go to your house and help you organize. I love organizing. Even though my house is a total mess right now with toys everywhere. If I don't use something for about 2 years or so I get rid off. Maybe you should just start with the closet. Little by little. My goal this week is to clean the yard .

Indigo: N sounds like a busy body . Does he actually unbuckle himself from the car seat? And I am sorry you are having a hard time with your family too. Sometimes you loved them and sometimes they just make you crazy!!! And the blackbird story is hilarious!!! I remember this one little boy that I took care of when he learned how to say crocodile he would say "fuckcodile" !!!!

Kosh: I am so sorry life is a bit hard on you now . Just hang in there, things will go back to normal. They always do. Sometimes it might take longer than we want but they will.

Storm: Lydia is getting to be a big girl!! And I love the story about a man!!! . She is a caricature!!
I can't wait to hear about your scan!!! And hoping your dad will get well soon. Have you moved houses yet?

Kitty: hope you and B are doing well.

Leeze: I hope you not get AF either. And are you still cooking delicious food for Kia? Thiago is still not eating well! Although we had a good day a couple of days ago that he ate well ( for him), but most of the time he is a little bird eater!

Charlie: I love the picture of S with the koala. She is just so cute.

We are doing well here. Thiago had a good evening enjoying his 10 year old cousin yesterday. Oh, and his nana got him train tracks. He loves it!! But the funny thing is that you cannot have more than one train linked together. He likes just one at a time . If you put them together he will take them apart and shakes his head yes ( like this is how it is suppose to be ). And he is a snuggle bunny. He now caress you arm when you are holding him .

Bye ladies.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Hi, all!

First, many thanks clio - the USD seems very do-able (and I have experience in teaching survey courses), and I looked at ACL site as well. I think my OH might take some persuading, but any job would be a 'foot in the US/Canada' door, and as I did medieval/ancient history for BA (specialised in ancient later), I need to broaden my horizons....!

I also worry if LO picks on mummy's screaming moments, but he has temper tantrums, too (I think it's excusable in his case), but in relation to 'bipolar' and/or manic depression, the most important thing is that our LOs know that we love them. Obviously, there are times when we are going through a rough patch and that's when family should also be there. I asked my OH about his overall reflection of his mother (remember she is bi-polar) and although now as an adult, there are some very tricky moments -- his overall memories are full of love and affection for his mother.

got AF yesterday and have been eating normally (was doing slim-fast and lost 7lbs so far this month) and back to 'diet' tomorrow. Not too upset to be honest, as I am 45 and if we get lucky, great, if not, oh well. I'm also emplying a tactic from pre-IVF, pre-getting pregnant with LO, e.g. trying to see the positive ' oh, that gives me another month to shift some more weight' -- hugs to my CBT therapist for that one...hehehe!

hope all are well and nope, bath-time isn't much improved, but we do wash LO's hair every day as it's so fine, it gets matted and a bit....um...smelly otherwise (maybe the cats are grooming him?)

and I'm making another sweater for LO and although it said it was 'easy', the instructions were so complicated that when I translated and looked in my knitting books, they said that 'picking up stitches' is hard SO WHY PUT IT IN AN EASY PATTERN? So, I improvised and sorted it out, but GROWL!

hugs to all!

bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Oh and I forgot to say that little t baths most days ( maybe just one day a week without a bath, my hair wash day ). And he stinks if he doesn't .

Sabrina: sorry you got your AF. Maybe next month.

 

[Leeze]

i just did a long post then hit an advert that took me off the page and I lost the post. grrrrr! need.to go to sleep now

main thrust of it was Clio - J's behaviour sounds totally normal to me. Kia wont sit still for long, sleeps 10 hours and is going through a throwing food and spitting out phase. big hugs x

to everyone else - will try catch up soon. OH is away this week so even less leisure time for me than usual!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Morning everyone - well I think I have deduced the magic formula to get Lydia to STTN, get up early - go to the park and make her wake for ages to get to the playpark then let her run around like a lunatic, have snack in car and 45 min power nap, take her to HUGE shopping centre with cousins for buffet lunch allowing her to eat all the crap she can, let her walk around HUGE shopping centre playing with cousins, bring back to grandpas have cake run around garden, go to second park allowing her run around, go to shop more running around and bath when exhausted and pour into bed after bottle of milk complete with 2 other bottles of milk and hey presto... do you think I can replicate that EVERY night? Lol... Oh and she had 4 poos too!

Sk sorry AF came but hey it was a practise month and as you said a chance to shift a few more pounds

I bath L every day and wash her hair as she is such a stinky little monkey and she smells of sweat and stale milk if I don't

Borboleta we haven't moved yet - waiting for my dad to recover from his surgery but the legal side and money bit is all sorted - its weird I feel like im in limbo!

So 20 weeks tomorrow - wow can't believe it - TBH ladies I've found I'm so busy with L that I don't really focus on being pregnant so in many ways its more tiring but easier if that makes sense, I mean I'm nearly half way and once the boking stopped I have kind of forgotten about it... the time is flying in!

Better go and do some work - laters!

 

[kosh]

was hoping to post an account of my holidays but this takes priority unfortunately.
Friday lunchtime I was about to leave work to go and see Gael (we spend 30min together every day ) when I got a call from the nursery saying he'd had an accident and they'd called the ambulance. He fell from standing from the top of the slide (which is about 50cm high) and bumped his head badly. When they picked him up he was all floppy and lost consciuosness for 3-4min. The nursery manager thought he was having a seizure
Luckily I work literally 50mts away so I was there in less than 2 minutes (you should have seen me running!). He'd already come around when I arrived but was all pale and crying my poor baby. The paramedics arrived a few minutes later and took us to A&E.
He slowly started to recover and after a while he was playing with the toys while we were waiting to be seen. They checked him thoroughly and he seemed responsive enough etc, but they still wanted us to stay in to observe him. When we first arrived I noticed he wasn't using his right hand as much and I mentioned this to the doc so he sent us to get an x-ray, and yep, he'd broken his wrist so he now has a little cast on his arm!
After being seen by docs technicians nurses etc we were told we'd had to stay overnight so they could be sure he was ok (they preferred not to give him a brain scan to avoid the radiation). DH brought him lots of toys and nice food and spent a few hours with him until it was time to go to bed and he was much better, still quite unsettled but not as upset.
Saturday he got a new lighter cast done and we waited for the pead neurologist for a final consultation. He was def not concerned about the episode being a seizure but rather a blackout due to the shock/pain. He said it's unlikely he was unconsciouss for such a long time and that it might have been their perception of time under stress. He still told us what signs to look for just in case, but he examined him once more and said he seemed absolutely fine to him, so we were discharged! Can't tell you how happy Gael was when we started packing all our stuff and said we were going home!

I'd been sooo stressed I cried for the first time when I sat in the car......