any other over 35 first time mums?

[kosh]

indigo - sorry to hear about your sister. panick atacks are nasty. is she better now?
I too go back and forth re. trying for another one. I don't want gael to be an only child yet I don't think I can cope with him and a newborn and everything else.....

claire - glad your mum's pain relief is finally under control! hope she starts to feel a bit better now

 

[clio]

After OH and BIL moved a piano I didn't even want, down to our basement:

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5523/10231896863_4ab328e4cc.jpg

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8552/10231829856_f31d1db2f8.jpg

Apparently, "it got away from them."



I chose this house based on some very key things, and the basement, which had been so wonderfully and professionally finished, was basically at the top of my list. OH keeps pointing out that it could have been "a lot worse!", meaning, no one was hurt. I point out in return that my first response after the crash was "Oh my god, are you guys okay?!?!" Only once I had determined that they were, then I let into OH. BIL reassured us that the same thing had happened to them, and they had fixed it themselves. And I glared pointedly at OH because this is exactly what we hate about their house--all the cr@ppy DIY projects!!!

I told OH that he better have a plan quick as to how he was going to fix it. But then I decided that I should create the plan myself, seeing as it was his planning that had landed us in this position to begin with. I told him that he was NOT going to do it himself (his plan), and instructed him to get his Dad over to fix it all, including painting the wall. Otherwise, I'm calling in a professional.

(His Dad is retired and bored, so he loves these types of projects. But he pretends he doesn't, so we'll have to do some tricky reverse psychology on him to get him over to do it.)

Kosh--I wanted to say that I am actually very envious of you and the speed at which you acquired a new position. One of the many awful aspects of this illness is that I am never able to hold down a job, because at some point, I get sick and have to leave. I'm actually jealous of all of you with jobs, especially if you like your work. I have only rarely been independent, and I can't contribute to our household economy, our savings, or even have money that is my own. No one has ever, ever made me feel badly about it, but I'm still so envious of women with careers.

Storm--a propos of having a career, it's yours I covet the most. I'm good at computers and networks and learn quickly, and love to problem solve. So I'd love to work in IT. I've been looking at how to become qualified, but it's crazy expensive and a bit confusing. In order to get certified in one area, I'd have to take many courses that cost $400 each, and yet are only 2 days long. So I could get one certificate after another very quickly, but how can one afford it, and how would 2 days on a subject make me an expert? How did you go about doing it?

Borboleta--the stay back home was pleasant; the weather was wonderful and everything looked beautiful. As per usual, J spent almost all of his time outside. I was a bit bored, but J had a wonderful, wonderful time with both Grandfather and Grandma. And I met my niece, who is an odd little egg. Very piercing eyes, but few smiles. And, at 9 months, she couldn't handle being held by anyone if my sister was out of sight. Only when my sis was back in the room was my niece okay in other people's arms. J never did this, so I'm not used to separation anxiety. Is this what happens to all of our currently "velcro babies" on the thread?

It was only the flights which were nightmares. I was in a constant state of damage control and being on guard at the same time. Very stressful. If I hadn't had to deal with the stupid car seat the airline forced me to use, things would have been much easier, but J couldn't fly without it.

Oh, and after you wrote about Electric Thomas (and that hilarious story ), I bought J one, but it turns out that he's afraid of it! He doesn't understand how it is moving on its own and I think he thinks it's alive. But his cousins love it, so it's just a matter of time, I think.

Sorry guys, my Chatty Cathy-ness ends here, although my personals are far from complete. But OH and J are back from Oma's. Love you all!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Morning ladies! Not too bad a night for us but I've had a bed bug from 2am, I suppose at least she slept!

We ordered new carpet yesterday, ended up get green stripey stuff. L loved the carpet shop, helping ripping down all the samples and setting them on the floor saying 'mats', she added a few random ones in though I also found out dh thinks I want my old room back when we move next month?? It's the only room to the left of the stairs above the garage, not big enough for a double bed? I did ask how I'm meant to hear L and the new baby.. he hadn't thought of that.

Clio, don't panic your damage should be easily fixed, I'm a dab hand at filling, sanding and painting... If you were closer Id sort it for you!

Ok how I got into computers, I did a degree in geology and them moved on to a masters in applied environmental science, whilst writing up my thesis 'The impact of lead mining on the surrounding environment' I suddenly took sick the day after my friend with the cancers wedding. Turns out i had appendicitis, didn't shout loud enough about the searing agony o was in and the burst. I had them removed, had to stay in hospital for a week on an antibiotic drip feeling very ill. So whilst out and feeling rubbish and finishing my thesis under pressure as I didn't want to graduate late my friend mentioned a computer conversion course for people who had a non computer degree, so I applied with thousands of other people. This is a bonus of Northern Ireland its seen as a deprived country at times so they used to invest in people. So I got on the course after the tests and interviews, graduated and started. Basically I got unemployment benefit but was in full time training, so about £70 a fortnight or something rubbish, but free training. They put us through some basic exams, a few Microsoft exams and a 3 month placement. My placement was with a construction company and after they offered me a basic job, I built computers, installed printers, put in network points and progressed to installing networks etc.. whilst doing more exams. 5 years later when I had experience I applied to my current job, got the job an almost £7,000 payrise and moved into a desk job where everything I did was sitting at my desk. My current job role has changed unbelievabley but 8 years later I still have my lovely desk job now doing software delivery services governance globally and i love it, and work with some great people... Most of which have been there as long as me

 

[AngelUK]

Sorry ladies am still sort of out of action due to various things keeping me busy. So no real personals again today.
My boys seem to be recovering, no more fever but Dominic still has quite a cough. It has been 2 weeks now I think that he/they wake at night for an hour. They don't cry and just chat and play but it is exhausting for us. Day time naps are great though. Only one now after lunch and lately they have been 2h to 2h30. Wonder if that is connected?
I am completely at my wits end what to feed Sebastian though. He refuses everything he used to like, even toast or has maybe 3 tiny bites at most. He will eat fruit such as banana and melon and maybe grapes but that is it, oh, except yoghurt. But apart from that he absolutely refuses to be fed. But he will even refuse a baby jar breakfast or porridge or muesli. And both boys throw food of course, though Dominic clearly does it to get a reaction as he looks at me provokingly while doing it. It would be funny if I didn't hate food on the floor so very very much. It makes me angry, to be honest. But as for the refusing to eat, can all this still be related to Sebastian' feeling poorly? And how long will this last? I am sure he has already lost weight. He isn't skinny so that part isn't worrying me yet.
Am sorry for such a selfish post. Just put them down for a nap and now must continue to paint. I hope all are well, I am reading your posts and sending hugs and love as always. xx

 

[SabrinaKat]

sabrina - any news re. applications?

it can take weeks! Unfortunately, the process for an academic job is very time-consuming in that they have rounds of interviews and look at loads of stuff, so many (USA) will hold interviews in early January, but I am hopeful....(UK academic jobs start advertising in February, March, etc), so it is a very long process....sigh

 

[SabrinaKat]

Sabrina: happy birthday!!!! How was the zoo? Hope you had a great time. Did Finn like the zoo? .

He LOVED it, but am not sure whether it was the zoo animals or the birds that he was so excited to chase after!

 

[SabrinaKat]

not much here - had to ask OH to take LO out (they went to get cat food and a new fan) as I couldn't concentrate on writing cover letters for jobs (deadlines 15th October), but now that's done, hoovered the stairs and put a chicken in the oven.

I can't seem to shift my cough at all, so may have to go to the doctors tomorrow.

Had a fun day with LO yesterday as he decided that he wanted to file my nails, he grabbed my nail file (cardboard) and picked up my hand, then held one finger and started to file -- it was very funny! He has great hand skills (e.g. can change the TV remote, etc), but I am wondering about his speech - he seems to be trying to say sentences rather than single words, e.g. he will say mama, dada, but I swear he is trying to say 'I want', 'No, I hate....'...any ideas? Some of it does sound like gibberish, but it sounds more like sentences than single words.

angel - the only advice I have is perhaps to have 'food' available at all times, e.g. we have some rice cakes and cheerios (dry) in a little bowl so LO can help himself if interested? Sometimes it takes him a few hours (!) to even eat breakfast (toast and cheerios with some raisins) and I tend to leave a plate of anything not eaten in the living room, so he can have some more if he wants later (it can take an hour for fish fingers/sticks (which I used to be opposed to, but we get 100% full cod ones and they are good for toddlers)....also, Finn now refuses to be fed anything, he wants a spoon and then he will eat, but it is messy. Also, at IKEA, we bought some toddler forks (with matching plates (not flat at the end, but rounded up, so food doesn't slip off) and he was having great fun yesterday trying to use a fork (with daddy's help)....

hugs to all!
bye!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Angel I didn't realise how lucky I am with L and the eating, but she too has periods she isn't much interested. Breakfasts are really hit and miss, today she had a few spoonfuls of cereal, 2 satsumas and a couple of grapes but she takes ages to want to eat!

Sk applying for jobs is such a battle, I hate it! I hope it goes well.

I'm shattered, dh has just taken L for a nap we are at my dads. I decided to make pasties today, they are from the hairy bikers diet cook book, leek, potato, onion and half fat cheese using homemade bread dough instead of pastry.. I had no idea they would take so long! Now I'm making the dinner too and earlier I made choc cornflake buns with 4 kids, one of which was L, what a mess! I must be mad

 

[Kitty_love]

Hi ladies! Well AF arrived so maybe next month, and I'm like you guys, somedays I'd love to give Blake a sibling, others I think it wouldn't be so great. We'll just have fun and see if we're meant to have another I guess. Not too stressed about it to be honest. We're blessed to have such a happy, healthy boy!

Blake has pulled himself up to standing in his playpen, he was so excited and prod of himself, grinning away! Have only seen him do it once so far.

Kosh - that's really great about th new job and the "meant to be" timing!

Clio - I know what you mean. I remember soon after we bought our house and went to visit my parents, when we came home our house seemed so small in comparison! But then, when we come home from vacationing London, staying in nice but small hotel for a couple weeks, our house seems enormous!!! So I guess it's all perspective

Sorry about your walls, we've had a few of those happen here as well. Hopefully your fil will sort it all out.

Storm - that's really interesting how you got your computer skills Thanks for sharing!

 

[AngelUK]

Sabrina, sorry I missed it! Happy belated birthday! Hope you were spoilt and got some pressies from your men? xx

 

[clio]

Storm--okay, well, a job in IT is out. What a process, but I'm so impressed with all that you did! Except for the appendix part. I'm sorry about that. And yes, you are insane. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. L had to get it from somewhere.

Storm, you are welcome to fix my house. What is chip rock to you is a chip mountain to me and my husband. I desperately hope OH can convince Pake to do it.

Kitty--I'm sorry that AF arrived! for next month!

Was it you who thought seeing Niagara Falls was important? How about seeing the Rockies, huh? A bit more majestic, don't you think? And I've seen the Falls. Bo-ring. The North American meet up should be in the Northwest, don't you think? Or along the Western Coast? Disney World?

(If I were back home, I'd think the Falls is a wonderful idea, as it's only an hour or so trip from my parents. )

Angel--I'm glad your household is on the mend! But poor you and Sebastian! If you had more options to give him, you could do the whole "well, if that's the only thing the toddler will eat, then give it to him," deal, but that doesn't seem possible in S's case, if he will eat so little. I decided to do that with J, but the options were better ones: cheese and ham. Only problem is the amount of sodium in the ham; when he eats that much, he's over his allowed quotient for the day. Can you think of any protein you haven't tried for S yet?

SK--wow! That's amazing about the number of academic jobs you can apply for! My husband and I should have done something other than Canadian History; it's a bit of an obscure subject outside of Canada. Well, inside Canada, too. Were you ever on any search committees to give you insight into the "behind-the-scenes" process? Do you have to present a lecture to a class or to your peers if you're short-listed? Well, good luck to you in January!!! I'll certainly have my fingers crossed! Oh, and would you prefer to end up Stateside or in England?

Claire--I'm glad your mother is feeling better--it must be such a relief!


So, I'm bailing on Thanksgiving with my in-laws, which is on par with bailing on Christmas Dinner. But until yesterday, I had no idea it was T-giving weekend, and that tonight was the Dinner. And I'm tired, and I miss my own family, and I'm not feeling well. I don't know if I mentioned, but because my sis was making me feel quite guilty about procuring me some pot (long story), I told her to forget it and figured I'd brave it with just the pain meds the docs gave me. But it didn't really go so well. So I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now... Forgive me!

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies,

Kitty: sorry to hear about your AF. But like you said we are so blessed to have our LO's . And how exciting that B got to stand !! Things just happen so fast at this stage!

Indigo: hope your sister is better today. Why did she stop taking her meds? I have an uncle with squizofrenia and he doesn't like taking his meds either. Now he has disappeared for 2 years already. No one knows where he is. And hope you get a BFP this month. I can't remember if you had N naturally or with the help of meds?

Storm: you have your hands full cooking for everyone! Plus pregnant!! You must be getting the second trimester energy . And that is amazing how you went from geology to IT!! It was meant to be. Sometimes I think about going back to school because I certanly don't want to go back into music therapy.but not sure what I would like to do. I love teaching my classes and owning a little business of my own but unless I had someone to bank me so I could open a much bigger place I don't know how much I could grow doing this. Oh well, I am still 40 years old, I have time to think about it !!!

Sabrina: glad to hear you and Finn had fun at the zoo. And keep on sending those resumes. You might be lucky like kosh and get a job offer very soon .
And thiago still just saying one word, no sentence.

Clio: oh godness! Major work for you guys with those walls !! And how is the poor piano? Do you play? I played for years but I don't have one so haven't played in a long time . I kind of miss it.
And I think what you described your niece sounds normal to me. Thiago didn't have the 8/9 months separation anxiety. But he kind of has it now. Which is normal too. He won't cry but if I am there he wants me and no one else but maybe daddy. My MiL watched him yesterday for a couple of hours and when I came back he wanted nothing to do with her !
And What a cute story of j and the electric Thomas !!! Thiago gets upset when Thomas is not working because he left the damn thing on and drained the battery !!

Angel: S sounds just like thiago. I have a strong feeling that you have a picky eater on your hands. Thiago will go thru cases where he will barely eat anything and when I say barely is a couple of bites of food throughout the day and good days when he just eats what he likes to eat like chicken nuggets, fruit, dry cereal, French fries !! That is about it! Oh, cookies he loves cookies !! And milk and grated cheese ( no other kind of cut but only grated ) . He used to love this cheese breads that they have in Brasil but I can buy them here but it took me a couple of weeks to make them again and now he won't even touch them ! It is on the I don't like list! It is so frustrating but I am getting tired of shoving food down his mouth while he screams! So I am thinking that I know he doesn't have the best diet but he needs food so I just give him what he wants. Eventually when he is a little older I can rationalize with him and tell him he needs to at least try something. Right now he doesn't understand that yet. Oh, and I give him multi vitamin ( which he loves ) to supplement his diet. You should go and check a thread that I started called picky ( bad) eaters. It made me feel a little better about thiago .

 

[SabrinaKat]

Sabrina, sorry I missed it! Happy belated birthday! Hope you were spoilt and got some pressies from your men? xx

thanks, and nope - aside from flowers from OH and card made in creche by LO, the only things bought were for LO (IKEA toddler table and chairs, toddler plates and a few finger puppets and a stuffed crocodile from Dublin Zoo)! OH isn't very good at presents and this year, I wanted things for LO!

 

[SabrinaKat]

SK--wow! That's amazing about the number of academic jobs you can apply for! My husband and I should have done something other than Canadian History; it's a bit of an obscure subject outside of Canada. Well, inside Canada, too. Were you ever on any search committees to give you insight into the "behind-the-scenes" process? Do you have to present a lecture to a class or to your peers if you're short-listed? Well, good luck to you in January!!! I'll certainly have my fingers crossed! Oh, and would you prefer to end up Stateside or in England?

I was shortlisted for positions in Australia (got a free trip to Brisbane back in 2006), but the one disadvantage was I didn't have a major publication, which I do now, so am hopeful -- sometimes you have to do a lecture and a graduate seminar as part of the interview process; other times, it's a series of interviews, etc. I stopped 'looking' around 2007 as it was clear that my OH wasn't keen on leaving Ireland, and then other stuff happened (a good one was LO, though!) Personally, I would love the Toronto job (got into there for graduate school) and it would be closer to home without being home, if that makes sense.

and Happy Thanksgiving!

hugs to all and to all, a very good night!

 

[clio]

SK--that would be so odd (not bad odd, just...odd) if you got the U of T job. For 15 years, my life was so intertwined with the U of T, and I had always lived in neighbourhoods close by, right up to my departure for Edmonton, 6 years ago. If you get flown in, give it a big hug from me. But imagine--I don't know when you applied for the TO grad position, but maybe we would have been in Toronto at the same time and in the same area if you had taken it!

 

[SabrinaKat]

I would have been in Toronto from 1994, but decided to go to Oxford instead...so am hoping that karma means that I get there one day as both times I visited it, I really loved it!

Not much else here - LO was very very grumpy and clingy this morning (brought onto the bed from 1.30 to 3.30am - YAWN!), so I looked every inch my 46 years (gulp!) this morning when I got dressed. On another growl-OH, I decided this morning to get up earlier and was in the bath and almost finished when OH came in to get LO and I didn't ask about the stuff for creche (Foxy, dummy, snufflebaby (like vicks for babies), etc., but just collected and was ready to go. So, no arguments, etc., because I made the effort to do what needed to be done and didn't even ask OH....!

hope all are well! hugs and all that!

 

[clio]

SK--I was there from 1993 to 2007! I doubt we would have crossed paths in any meaningful way, but ah...we could have exchanged smiles when passing on the street. Think of that, SK, think of that. EERIE. Well, I hope it all works out, what with a book in your pocket now! (Books sadly mean nothing in our discipline anymore. Everyone and their dog gets their PhD published somehow--I think it's because there is a real push to continue to develop the literature of our field--so it evens out the playing field again. What you now need is your "next project." Not just a fully conceived plan, but evidence of research so far. I lose OH to the National Archives in Ottawa a lot, as he works on his "next project.")

Storm--you may not believe me, but I think your MA thesis is awesome. I don't wish to pull everything back to history, but this is a wonderful new trend in the discipline: Environmental History. People take the stuff you write about, but find incidences in the past, and write about the effect on the environment, and the economical, political and social fallout.

*****
AAARRRGGGHHH!!! We put J down to nap, as it was time, and he yawned (a gold standard sign). Then he woke himself up during his bottle by...yes...kicking himself repeatedly in the groin. Now he's yelling and bouncing in his crib. I look at his "big boy bed" turned around to the wall so he can't get out, and wonder when we can ever turn it around for naps...
*****

Borboleta--I know--I bought so many batteries for Electrical Thomas! If you can't hear the whirring, you can't turn him off! And since J is afraid of getting him if he hits a wall (in fact, he started to come over to me for hugs when E. Thomas got stuck, that's how afraid he was, the poor thing!), I often wouldn't hear it for quite a while!

*****
OMG, J is HUMMING. He doesn't know how to hum! Well, I guess desperation is the mother of innovation here: humming as a form of self-imposed sleep deprivation. Okay, now he's turning to pure screaming. But I refuse to acknowledge him.

Ahhh. Silence. Oh. Nope. Oh, and now the "I'm dying" crying. I HATE nap time. How do any of you get more than one nap out of your LO??? In fact, how do any of you get any naps out of your LO??? This is truly not a rhetorical question!

I did do some observing and asking around while in TO, and discovered that yes, J is very active, and more so than other toddlers. It's nice to have that confirmed, I must say. Makes me feel slightly less old and infirm. My father also made the observation that J doesn't mind being left with anybody, as long as there are toys around, or a yard or park. And I thought that that couldn't be that strange. So, is it strange? Would your LO go with anyone with toys?

 

[clio]

Oh, thank you. He is finally asleep. That was a full half hour of resistance to his ONLY nap. And that was short and at least ended in a nap. I remember the woman from the dayhome saying that if he stayed in the afternoon, he would be expected to lie quietly/nap on a mat for 2 hrs. Period, no exceptions. And I tried to imagine this, and couldn't help but visualize her chasing J around, trying to enforce the rule, and was relieved that he'd only be staying for the morning!

 

[SabrinaKat]

We only get one nap a day out of LO now, but at the weekend, it is a long-ish one, which try to start around 10-11am, and then, he simply isn't interested in a later nap. We do try quiet time in the late afternoon, where we cuddle on the sofa with the curtains drawn, and I figure that's good enough....

hugs to all

(in our field, getting our thesis published is a bit tricky -- I used 1/2 of my thesis as the basis for the first book and will use the other 1/2 (plus another 80,000 words) for the second one that is 'under consideration', which translates as to a publisher is interested, but not committed yet (fine with me, as it looks good on a CV!)....

bye!

 

[charlie15]

Kitty Love, yey for a standing Blake and sending you lots of maybe we can be TTC buddies? we are starting this month...better find my mojo!

Angel, i am so sorry you are still having problems with Sebastians food. I obviously have no advice from personal experience as Sophia hasn't got to that fussy eating age yet! but i did read a tip about difficult eaters who are toddlers, which was to leave a snack tray out for them to help themselves as it seemed to suggest that meals often don't work as well for some toddlers. I have no idea if that would work with Dominic around, possibly not but maybe more snacks, less meals?

Clio, don't ask me about naps, what do i know, not a lot it would seem Sophia and Jonah are very similar with naps. Today she took an amazing 2 naps, but i was out with her most of the day, so one was in the car (which is rare) and the other the buggy, both for 20 minutes. And the last 3 days she has only had 1 20-30 minute nap each day! sometimes she is fine with this and is just not tired but other days it can result in a very unhappy Sophia. But she is a master of nap fighting, yesterday i tried, boobie, rocking her, lying with her pretending to sleep etc and despite all the yawning and eye rubbing she would not have that nap then she just gets an earlier bedtime, what else can you do i think J is a good night sleeper isn't he? luckily Sophia is. She makes up for the lack of naps by sleeping 14 hours at night!

Borboleta, Sophia loves her multi vitamin too, she gets so excited when she sees it. nuts these babies!

Now we have Charlie back, it seems i am no longer allowed to stroke my fur baby. Sophia has decided that Charlie is all hers, if i so much as attempt to stroke her, usually to try and show Sophia how to be gentle and not wallop the poor cat, she grabs my hand and pushed it away every time what has happened to my baby, she now really is a bossy little toddler

hello everyone else, hope you are all well x