any other over 35 first time mums?

[Indigo77]

Ok...so we decided to stop giving N bottles around Xmas time, but after reading this....hmmm....?

He still has a bottle at nap time & another at bed time....maybe he'll self-wean later?

I have been dreading this & TBH, I don't want to give it up....it's our only cuddle-time together....he's always on the move now....

Has anyone stopped giving bottles here & if so, how did you do it?

 

[Borboleta]

Just a quick one before I go to sleep.

Indigo: thiago is off bottles since he was about 13 months. What I did is I use a sippy cup with silicone nipple and gave him that before naps but the bottle before bed time for about 1 week than I he got used to the sippy cup during the day and didn't mind me giving him the sippy cup at night before bed time. It was really stress free transition. But the pacifiers .... that will probably be a different story . Like bangle we have a couple of pacis in his crib and he interchange throughout the night !!! Oh well like you after reading all the confessions here I am not too worried .

 

[Storm1jet2]

Ladies I love your confessions and we all turned out ok right?

It's just after 7 and L has officially STTN, she's in her own bed still! How! In her own bed with 2 bottles mind you... Either that or dh has seen to her but I doubt that, I always hear her. I am in shock though!

 

[AngelUK]

Woohoo Storm!! YOu didn't even have to change her bum?? Wow I hope you slept beautifully!

 

[SabrinaKat]

We still give bottles at morning wake-up, 1 after creche in the afternoon and before sleep. We have moved over from follow-on milk to regular milk, which he seems to like. We also have two sippy cups around the living room with water and/or lemon squash (heavily diluted) and offer water/squash in small plastic cups at times, but our health visitor also recommended stopping the bottle, but it's a comfort thins and we always cuddle when having a bottle, so will continue for awhile.

As for dummies/pacifiers, we use to stop bitings! We will pop into his mouth to distract him and I have given written permission for the creche to use this as well (it's against HSE policy), but if it stops at least one biting, fine! and storm - I am so mortified by Finn's bitings at creche and find it very upsetting, but aside from telling him to be gentle and that we do not bite our friends and asking for a kiss as an apology, and now using the dummy to try and distract him, there is nothing much we can do --- sob! He does understand it is 'bad' and it makes mommy 'sad', but until he is a little older, it is hard to reason with a toddler!

as for vocal skills, he will talk through the dummy and loves to chatter away, so angel, if it is affecting his vocal skills, then perhaps a gentle weaning?, but in our case, Finn's vocal skills are pretty good and the dummy works to comfort and distract him...

and I used to suck my thumb until I was about 11 or 12 for comfort myself!

hugs and bye!

 

[Claireyb1]

Fab new storm about the sttn!!! I'm only slightly jealous! Lol you soooo deserve this.

I do believe it's somebody's birthday today...... Charlie???
Happy, happy birthday! Didn't manage to meet this week, how are you fixed for next week?

Hugs to all

 

[charlie15]

Ah thank you Claire I am 41 today! Having a chilled day at home with Sophia and Charlie OH is home early so may pop out, we'll see! My birthday is a bit weird tbh as it's the 2 year anniversary of my father dying tomorrow, so I kind of think a lot more about him this time of year. Tomorrow we are going to scatter his ashes with his favourite dogs ashes too....she died 16 years ago we haven't saved them for this I promise! Mum just never knew what to do with them, so this seems perfect, we will go to the park where they had lots of fun, long walks together and Sophia can go on the swings that I did as a child too.

Clairey, let me have a look at next week, back to work on Wednesday but could possibly do Monday?

Storm, yey for a good nights sleep I hope you feel a bit more rested now...and I hope you haven't touched the litter, even with the thoughtful gift your OH gave you

Sophia has cut her 3rd tooth, the left upper incisor. I shouldn't say this, but she seems to cope with teething by sleeping more the last few days she has slept until 8am! What can I say, I am so very lucky, I think she is like her mummy, I hate early mornings!

 

[Storm1jet2]

I know SK - I did send an email to nursery saying I fully understand that kids bite and I don't hold any ill feeling towards the child or the staff but I am also slightly concerned that L will start biting back! My buddy in work I sit beside her little girl is 2 1/2 and she is the biter too - she gets notes every couple of weeks about the bitings and she too can't think of a way to stop it. IF L was doing the biting I would have no clue how to stop her!

Clairey - she has lulled me into a false sense of security but I know its a fluke - who knows what tonight shall bring... No bottom changing either - fresh nappy before bed and nothing til this am, it was a huge nappy but it hadn't leaked, she did however have milk left this am so she must have had a decent sleep. I heard her squeak a couple of times but it was nothing more than a few 2 second squeaks, no crying or shouting Lots of mummy being awake though - I just don't know how to STTN myself anymore these days!

Ohhhh Charlie HAPPY BIRTHDAY - November is the month to be born, heehee its my brothers tomorrow and mine next week

L is constipated this am - she was crying 'My tummy' and 'Medicine' this am - bless her so its going to be an apple juice day until she gets a good old clear out! The joys of parenthood eh?

 

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Charlie I'm sorry your daddy died the day after your birthday How horrible for you. Had be been ill or was it sudden - as I know no matter how ill someone is death is always almost unexpected? Its nearly 2 years til the anniversary of my mums death too - how odd they died only a couple of months apart. I'm glad we didn't have to deal with ashes, cremation isn't that common here its usually burial. With my uncles ashes he died the august before my mum the ashes were scattered partly in the sea on Bournemouth beach (my uncle used to be in the navy) a tiny part in the garden of their flat and my dad brought some home and scattered them on my granny and aunts grave (unbelievably my aunt died 11 weeks before my uncle). I think my dad found it sad but also nice to scatter the ashes where he wanted to - my uncles wife wasn't fit to do it herself, after a couple of strokes I'm not sure she was even fully aware that my uncle had died - she was very detached at the funeral. She is still alive in Bournemouth in a very nice private care home which is costing a FORTUNE. OK I'm rambling - but I hope all goes well tomorrow and you feel a sense of peace with the ash scattering... xxx

 

[AngelUK]

Happy brithday Charlie! Hope you have a brilliant day and get spoiled as you deserve
I am so sorry about the sad anniversary tomorrow though. How is your mum holding up this time of year? Hope you are both ok.
And I totally do not agree, I think you write very nicely about S and I love reading about her antics and her progress!

Sabrina good idea about the dummy and the bitings. Like with F the bottles also are a comfort thing to our boys. We have stopped giving the last bottle before bed time though as Dominic refused it 5 times in a row and now give it with dinner instead. He doesn't always finish it then either. But at any rate I think this is the time to try and move to beakers and to wean them off formula (HV said that is why Dominic is so round and to switch to cows milk twice a day). If only the stupid things wouldn't spill everywhere! But using the ones with the valves defeats the purpose since the idea is for them to suck less . So yeah, lovely! This morning was the first time I didn't give a bottle on waking and had them wait till in their highchairs to give them their beakers. Sebastian hardly had any and Dominic a bit more than half. Did you switch Finn over gradually by mixing formula with increasingly more milk or did you just start with one bottle milk and one formula? We are trying to do 3/4 of formula and 1/4 of milk and then increase from there in a few days.

Indigo I feel like that too, the afternoon bottle was one opportunity to quite frankly baby them again a tiny bit and now I am told to drop that one completely

Clio I just wanted to specify, I did enjoy my boys' babyhood and I loved them so so much from the start! I never had any trouble with bonding with them at all. But if I may use an analogy, imagine dreaming of Egypt all your life. You want to see the valley of the kings and the pyramids and the museum in Cairo and all that wonderful stuff. You finally finally make it there but instead of being able to look at your leisure and take in the glory and beauty, you are made to walk through all sites at a brisk trot, all the while being completely exhausted and bleary eyed and so scared something really really bad will happen to the beings you love the most in life, if you don't keep up. This isn't quite the right analogy but the only one I can think of. I loved having my boys even when I was completely off my head with exhaustion but I wonder how it would have been had they slept better and I envy women whose babies do, for the experience.

Ok OH is looking at me sternly cause I am not painting, meh! Better get back to it. It needs to be finished by the beginning of the week : panic:
to all!

 

[kosh]

charlie - happy birthday!
sorry about the sad anniversary though. hope the scattering his ashes helps with closure. I know it took me ages to accept my dad died

storm - yay for L's STTN
can you send some sleepy to Claire and me

re. bottles - if you enjoy a cuddle will feeding them why stop?

kitty - I meant to say this long ago: I too beleive that you should think of this xmas as Blake's first one, even if stricltly speaking it isn't. . I can't imagine how difficult all the time he was in NICU must have been.
ah, and he looks gorgeous in his owl outfit!

that reminds me, sabrina - love Finn's cheeks! doe she look more like you or your OH?

clio - I also haven't mentioned yet - love J's picture with the baloon! oh and Gael also only wants the colours page of 'wow said the owl'
I missed something - you don't want any more boardbooks?
Have you looked at that 'who's hiding' I recommened?

angel - Gael has/had glue ear. I think it was a mild case because he seemed to hear ok, although I believe it did bother him at night when he was younger. Do you think Seb has trouble hearing you? Does he shout much? Also, did you ever get him check for the lip/tongue tie? I guess that can also contribute to speech issues.

sorry ladies that's all I can't comment for now, I can't keep up with this thread..

so and to borboleta, leeze, claire, indigo (I'm sure I'm foregtting someone...)

 

[Kitty_love]

Happy Birthday Charlie!!!

 

[SabrinaKat]

let's see...LO is running around the living room with OH hopefully watching him and not the TV...maybe he will wear himself out and sleep tonight (for OH's night)!

I think clio asked about why LO was in NICU - partly because I was so poorly (I was in high dependency (which is between intensive and normal care!) as I needed magnesium sulfate on a drip to combat the possible onset of eclampsia. I am not sure how sick I was (had had a bad headache for a day or two (a headache unlike any previous and I am prone to terrible migranes) and supposedly, either my liver or kidney was starting to become toxic and I was so swollen that I could feel my tongue in my mouth and my eyelashes when I opened and closed my eyes...I was being seen every other day for BP, etc., and that morning, I begged to be admitted as I was starting to get very worried - LO throughout was very active, but I was scared for me. My ob-gyn, who had scheduled the c-section for the monday (we were trying to get to 37 weeks (the monday), agreed and she arranged the c-section for that day (a friday)....and he remained in NICU because he seemed sleepy and slow to feed, but once they knew I had been on a very mild anti-depressant during pregnancy and, more importantly, once the teat went up a size, he gobbled it up and was finally out. We were very, very, very lucky that the pre-eclampsia didn't develop until around 34weeks and that Finn was 6lbs 11 oz at 36wks (estimated to be around 8-9lbs), but it was very hard.

angel - we just offered a little regular milk (vitamin fortified) and he seemed to like it, so we just started using regular milk for a few bottles, etc ., and now only have a half carton of follow-on milk powder for emergencies. In fact, you might find the boys like it more (milk), I mean. Oh, and we have a toddler cup (the sippy cup can be very messy) that is like a straw, and it is less messy - we also have a sippy, though and we have small plastic cups (in fact, the IKEA toddler plates, bowls, cups and cutlery are great) that we offer a sip or two of water (otherwise, it can get very messy)....

am sooooooooo tired. my tooth has settled to a dull pain, but is manageable. OH gave out about not going to the dentist (I have an appointment already scheduled for next Friday) and I explained that even if he 'paid for the dentist', I would have to pay for the extra time in creche or leave work early without pay....

must go! bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Happy birthday Charlie. Hope you had a super special day.

 

[SabrinaKat]

and belated happy birthday, Charlie!

hugs!

ps. I knew it was your Bday, but am very forgetful....apologies!

 

[clio]

Angel--I didn't mean to offend you, and I'm very sorry that I did. I don't think I expressed properly what I was thinking. Maybe when I am not exhausted, I can explain what I meant without offence. Right now, I feel like my brain is stuck in first gear.

Charlie--Happy Birthday! I'm sorry though, that your birthday falls on the day before your dad passed.

Bottles--I'm still using them because I don't dare wean him off of them. It's part of his nap time routine, and his bedtime routine (though bedtime is just very diluted milk). I did take away his nighttime one for a few days, but then my mood plummeted and I began to believe I was causing him horrible, irreparable emotional damage and started giving it to him again. But we have to do it because a close family friend, who is a dentist, said the lactose causes cavities behind the two front teeth. She says she sees it all the time. So I'll remove the bedtime bottle again, I guess, and tell OH to stuff it with his elaborate nap time routine, which includes a "full-leaded" bottle of milk.

Sorry, I'm incredibly grumpy right now, and very angry. I've been up since 4 am because my OH did it again--instead of giving J medication when he woke at 4, he cuddled and rocked him back to sleep. This is NOT THE RULE. Meds before 5 am, and after 5 am, we wait until 6 to get him up. OH is constantly constantly constantly breaking this rule, and my sleep ends up interrupted because J continues to wake in the middle of the night for a cuddle, and I have to go through sleep training all over again. And I can't afford interrupted sleep because then I get sick, and then I don't want to have anything to do with J because that is currently the main symptom of my depressions and that makes me incredibly ashamed. I had finally managed to pull myself out of the last spiral down--which was also caused by OH's refusal to follow the rules, causing interrupted and not enough sleep--and a day later, he "makes a judgement call" again. And now I'm hiding out in my room so J doesn't see me cry.

Sorry everyone. I shouldn't dump this on you.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Clio my lovely its not dumping its sharing. In my experience dh pretty much ignores the vast majority of my rules, the rules I create cause they fix the problem!

Don't worry about the crying, I cried today cause the queue in the cafe at the garden centre after Santa was too long, we couldn't wait as L needed fed and she fell asleep on the way home, its 3pm and she has had no lunch... I have no idea what this does to the rest of the day..

Oh dh has just woken her.. great.

Big hug Clio x

 

[SabrinaKat]

clio -- if I don't sleep, I get sick too and it also causes the beginnings of depression, anxiety and binge eating. This is why the nights LO is so fussy, etc., and it's my night, I get my OH to take him from 3am as I figure 3 hours is better than nothing.

Neighbours blasting music since 10am. It seems that they do this at the weekend as nobody is around at the council, etc., to be able to complain to and do anything about it at the time. I am so glad that we are away for 2 1/2 weeks at Christmas as last year, they had blinking lights, loud music and generally were terrible (and we weren't the only ones who were annoyed)....

hugs to all!
bye!

ps. clio - we give LO a bottle before bed, but not in bed - I thought it was the bottles left in bed/cots that was the problem? AND, if OH ignores your instructions, write in big black letters on J's door, so maybe he will follow them?

 

[SabrinaKat]

on a piece of paper/poster board? (not on the wall itself!)

 

[AngelUK]

Clio my dear, I was not at all offended! Not in the slightest! I just wanted to specify a little, sorry if I sounded vexed.
I am sorry you are feeling so down and I am now not sure that it is Storm's "DH" who deserves the worst DH medal. But on the whole it does seem to be a man thing to never ever fricking listen! Mine is like that too and it drives me around the bend as you know. And I have shared this more than once so please don't think you are dumping anything on us. We want to know how you are doing and it is indeed sharing! Lots and lots of . I hope you get some good sleep soon and that your OH gets his act together. xx