Again, you are all lovely. He DID get that spark of conscience and cleared the snow in 15 minutes flat while I was inside fuming.
Oh, SK and Kitty, I do so wish I had a snow blower! But people would laugh if I brought it out in Edmonton. There is simply so much snow that it would blow the first layer off in a fine mist and the rest would look mockingly at me, as would the neighbours. Plus, they're expensive... I was actually quite surprised at how well my hip is holding up. I've even thrown all the pain killers--except for the long acting ones--and the pot away (both of which OH watched me do with great trepidation) because I was tired of feeling all fuzzy all the time. And one of the reasons I threw the pot away is because I began to have huge anxiety attacks, which I never had before. I've always been very "chill."
The anxiety is being caused by a whole bunch of stuff which had been brewing under the surface, but didn't surface properly until yesterday. I was still in the throughs (sp?) of J preferring OH, which I blamed on my illness and my inability to play with him (stupid kids' chairs...murder on my joint), and frankly, while I like buying train stuff, I hate playing with them. Thank you for making me feel better about him favouring OH instead of me. My great fear is that it will never end.
And I'm so lonely here. I once told my mother that I envied not being in Oakville for our "Fridays with the Women," whereby my mum's best friend (the dentist), our housekeeper of over 20 years and now a good family friend, and I used to hang out in my mother's gorgeous solarium and drink tea and eat cakes and just feel, well, in good spirits, no matter what. My sister always eschewed these Fridays, until she had little G, and now she goes too, with the baby. And now, through some absurd logic, my mum leaves messages telling me that everyone just left, and what a lovely time they all had, and how they wished J and I were there, too. I cried over the last message. I keep thinking that dealing with J alone wouldn't be so bad if I weren't alone, and could just pop round my mum's.
Instead, I'm snowed in, I don't know where to go, and Eric's family isn't my family. Even my SILs have family in Edmonton, so they're not alone in this huge family that puts so much emphasis on their Dutch heritage and their Dutch names and want to claim J as Dutch (it's a common Edmonton thing. The city was founded only in 1905, and families came over in droves after the war and created large, close communities to hold onto their sense of identity). As a result, though, I'm missing Sunday Dinner after Sunday Dinner, and while they love me, they don't understand, and they also don't understand why it's been going on for so long.
And there are a whole host of other problems that I need to talk to someone about, but the system is taking so long. I have an appointment with a consultant in January (made months ago), who will then decide if I need someone who will talk to me and charge it through Alberta Health. Then I have to wait approximately another 10 months to get into see the actual psychiatric specialist to whom I've been assigned. In Ontario, we just had to make a few calls, pull a few strings (I know, unfair, but we were always desperate), and I was in before six weeks had passed. My family has been trying to do the same thing here, but no one knows anyone in this province. We have no strings to pull, sadly. And it's not like I can go home for a while, because as nice as Friday afternoons are, the visit always devolves...
I just want to feel so much less lonely. And isolated. We don't even have a car right now; OH, for some strange reason, assumed that every time he took the car in for something (which was really not often--it's a good car), that they were checking the oil. Well, they weren't, and the engine recently started to stall all the time. Turns out, it was full of the sludge that, four years ago, used to be oil. Our mechanic spent 2 days clearing out the oil, declared it ready to go, collected our hundreds of dollars, and the car stalled at the next red light. OH looked it up online, and discovered that if this problem can't be fixed by flushing out the oil, we'll need a new engine, which costs $5,000! We're praying that if it comes to that, our insurance will cover it. If they don't, I guess my retirement fund cheque will go straight to a new engine. We do have a second car--my tiny one from before I met OH--but he's always got it, and I'm petrified to drive it in this horrible snow and ice anyway.
Moral of story: don't have a child and move to Edmonton. Or really, just stay clear of Edmonton even if you don't have a child.
Sorry about your father.....the day you planned sounded so perfect & special...I hope it was....
she has developed a very generous nature, she seem to love giving all of her things away! she offers us her food at each meal now, including Charlie, and when we eat out, she offers people at the next table too, it's actually very sweet and funny, but meal time are getting longer! 
there is that book, why men don't listen and women can't read maps...well I can read a map, but I have yet to meet a man who listens, apart from my grandpa 
hope he keeps to his promise this time, 3rd time lucky I hope and hope you get a good nights sleep tonight.
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!!! He didn't answer so I take it as yes 
!!) to put some decor outside. Thiago has been very good about not being rough with the Christmas tree 
