any other over 35 first time mums?

Angel--I think the article is very interesting, but also a bit narrow in its argument. My mother was beautiful and thin when I was growing up, and yet I still have body-weight issues. And the role of media, to my mind, is as powerful as this woman suggests a mum's insecurities are. I think it's even more powerful. But I will pay heed!

Seriously--go try on a body slimmer. You'll feel a million times better!

Storm--definitely, at the minimum, an iPad. Or, take it up a notch and ask for a macbook pro as an early "push" present!
 
Cause I am over 20 kg over what I should be. But that is beside the point lol.

Hmmmm I find that hard to believe! You hide it well.

Clio my mum was 5 ft 2 and very slim. Actually my parents weren't great at handling my weight issues, they encouraged me to shift weight but often said stupid things which really knocked my confidence and then wondered why I had no self confidence!
 
Yes, I must admit that these days, I feel the pressure from both my mother and my sister to lose weight because looks are so important to them. They've never said it outright, but I know what they're thinking. Though my sister's tune has changed because after her baby, she'd also put on 40-50 lbs, and finally understood. She managed to lose it again, though, the stinker. And within a year!

I just came back from our "Active Tots" class, and finally, J wasn't the only ridiculous child. It was full of only 2 year old boys (a total fluke), and they ran around like nobody's business. The woman running the class had never run one with toddlers before, and at first was trying to get them to do quite complicated stuff and wasn't happy when they were running around a pole in the middle of the room during her exercises. Then another mother (who I think was quite silly to do this) opened the blinds to the huge picture windows, and all the boys went running to look out the window and wouldn't come back! And J, for once, did most of the activities, and I was so impressed. He even waited his turn for the slide. So this one is a winner.

Afterwards, I talked to a few of the mothers, and they said that they're doing exactly what I'm doing; signing their kid up for as many of these programs as possible, because there really is nowhere for their toddlers to run, otherwise. Plus, we are all so bored. Winter sucks.
 
I do have weight issues because I am 3 stone (30-40lbs) over my ideal weight (and that's a healthy 9stone( 126+), so it is frustrating because due to PCOS, it makes my weight loss very hard....and depressing....but on a positive level, I did get down to 'overweight' (about 11 1/2 stone or about 160lbs) before getting pregnant with LO and my body was thankfully able to deal with that, so I am grateful that I was able to lose weight before.

oh, well. We've also decided to start applying to secondary schools rather than universities as I think I will have more luck in the UK (with Oxbridge, PhD, etc) and the salaries at independent schools are decent -- OH could study, I could work, etc., and I am already comfortable in classrooms, etc.

Happy, B-day, LUCY!
hugs to all
bye!
 
Hi ladies,

Angel: I just shared your beautiful article on Facebook. I loved it. It is something that we normally never think about it. I used to baby sit this little girl that her whole family is overweight and she would hear her grandmother saying how fat her tights were and when she was around 4 years old we went to the pool one day and she said to me that she didn't like her tights because they were too fat:(! It broke my heart to hear that :cry:. But I told her that she was beautiful the way she was. But she is surrounded by family members that are in a constant diet. But whenever I get to see her I always tell her how beautiful she looks :thumbup:. And the interesting thing about that article is first : I am so glad I don't have a girl :haha:!!! We as women suffer a lot with our body image unfortunelly! And second it made me think about things that we sometimes say about ourselves ( specially my OH:() of how stupid he is, or he wished he could have become a famous writer or actor and he never followed his dream, or he is a looser:(. I tell him " do never call yourself a looser again" and enjoy life's little pleasures. Maybe he would still not be happy if he was a famous writer with bunches of money. Anyways, thank you for sharing :kiss:.

Claire: happy birthday Lucy!!!! I hope you are having the best party!! And we wished we could be there to give you a big hug:). Like angel I want to see the cake too:).

Clio: so cool that you got into a good kids program for J. :thumbup:

Thiago is saying a couple more 2 words sentences. And he now says on and off. It is a slow progress but still a progress for him:).
He does something now that is so cute. He knows the numbers 1 to 20 and he puts them in a row and are able to say 1 and 2 ( in Portuguese), 3 sounds French to me :haha:, 4,5 and 6 sounds English and the other number he cannot say it yet so he just goes " wawawawawa" pointing at each number like he is really saying the numbers :haha:!!! But if you ask where is number 16 he will get it for you. The other day we found a good night moon book that counts the objects in the book and they had the number 100 and you could just see how excited he was we I pointed to the number 100. He was like " oh my gosh!!! What kind of a marvelous thing is this!! :haha:"
I have come to a conclusion that thiago has my dad's looks and my father in law's personality. When my FIL is excited about something he kind just smiles but nothing like jumping up and down or raising his arms. Thiago is the same way. My OH says that he likes playing hard to get :haha:.

I better stop here or this will become a novel :haha:.
 
I forgot to tell Sabrina: I love your picture!!! And I can totally see Finn's cute little cheeks are from you :kiss:. And am I the only one that remembers your picture of you that you posted here a while ago? I love your complexion. The fair skin and the red hair ... Just beautiful:). What color are your eyes?
 
Oh and one more thing, I took thiago to have his hair cut the day before and I wanted him to have the same lady that cut his hair last time but she was not at the salon when I went, so I made the mistake of going with another lady. Man, did I regretted it!! She butchered my poor son's hair:growlmad:!! When I got home and started looking at his hair I got so upset that I called the salon back and explained what happened and asked if I could take him in again to have his hair fixed by my lady this time. So we went today and she fixed his hair. A little on the short side cause she had to fix the other lady's mess but I am much happier now:).
 
Oh gosh Sk 9 stone.. haven't been that since I was a child! I'm a UK 10 to 12 at 11stone and if I drop below that people start asking if I'm I'll :) I'm happy at a size 12.. maybe by the summer..

Anyway L and I had a lovely day while dh slept after night shift, we went to the petstore to see the rabbits, fish etc. Got some cat food, fish food and dog treats. Then went to mothercare and got crib sheets for the baby as I seem to have lost them. Then went for lunch, to the book shop and the chemist etc. Then we met my friend at the local leisure centre (the mw friend) and went to the kids playzone where L and her 3 and 5 year old ran around non stop! Clio I thought of you as it sounds like J needs an area like this, it was a 3 story softplay area and the kids just ran non stop only popping back to us for juice... They had a ball!

I wonder if it's got a website brb...
 
Stupid video isn't working.https://www.newtownabbey.gov.uk/valley/playzone.asp

In short it's 3 levels, fully enclosed and requires lots of climbing and crawling and slides etc.. Miss L loved it!
 
Oh gosh Sk 9 stone.. haven't been that since I was a child! I'm a UK 10 to 12 at 11stone and if I drop below that people start asking if I'm I'll :) I'm happy at a size 12.. maybe by the summer..

I'm just 5 feet, so 9 stone (or under 10 stone) looks okay on me. At the moment, I wear a 16/18 in uk sizes, so not HUGE, but because of my height (and the fact that it seems all in my waist since having LO), it is frustrating....!

have updated the cv for more secondary school stuff, so cross fingers. I might also enrol in a postgraduate course in Latin (for both possible jobs and mostly for my own interest as I miss it!)...........

bye!
 
Storm I am a size 18 and all the pics you have seen of me are only of my face. So in that way I do hide it well ;) I was happy in a size 12 too. Well sort of. Happier at least ;)
I keep meaning to tell you, the other day in the local toyshop I came across these cute little "Sorgenfresser" which means worryeaters. I thought that maybe this might help L with her nightmares? She can put her worries in their mouth, zip it up and they eat it and it is gone. She might be too young to understand the concept of course but I thought the idea just too cute and bought some for our boys for later :)

Clio my mum isn't like the one in the article either. For me it was just about being careful to not be disparaging about self in front of children. I would hate for my boys to think that only skinny women are worthy and all fat women or those struggling with their weight were stupid cause this is how I feel about myself. My brother seemed to think like that when we grew up. I hated him for it but of course he has his own insecurities etc. and he was only a teenager.

Borboleta I agree, what you say about the things your husband sometimes says, is exactly the same sort of thing as the article wants to address. When he says he is a loser in front of his son, he could do untold damage! So we all have to watch it and make sure that we pass on self esteem and not hang ups :)

Going to have a bath and it is about to run over. Will be back later hopefully :) xx
 
Ah ladies, I would just settle for being able to bend at the minute, everything is soooooo hard and such an effort. I've been every size in my life from a 10 to a very very tight fitting 18, at that stage I went to weight watchers and lost 50lbs, but that was in life before L when I had time for me! Actually after L I went to slimming world and lost the 30lbs I needed to shift but I never got to stay for class so it wasn't much fun. After this baby I need to whoop my butt into shape simply so I will be able to keep up with them :)

Hey did I mention I'm currently so big and my hips and back hurt so much I keep getting semi stuck in bed, I have no dignity left lol..

Ok sleep time, my friend who has the cancer, his wife is coming for coffee/lunch tomorrow..
 
Thank you ladies for all your birthday wishes for lucy!,
We spent the day with my mum and went shopping and had lunch. She had great fun ,but it's so full on!
I have made her a cake but she is not having it until tomorrow,as df will be around to enjoy it etc.
We are off to the London aquarium and maybe a trip on the London eye tomorrow.
The aquarium is a nod to her birthday present that we have bought for her........a tropical fish tank.
It's all set up but no fish just yet as I need to make sure it's ready for fish etc. she will be so excited when we get some :thumbup:
Storm, you have fish don't you?

I agree that I can now see where Finn gets his beautiful face from........he has your face sk- gorgeous!

I have to say since having lucy I have never been more comfortable with my size or shape (apart from when I was a skinny size 8-10 back in 2000) I think the fact that I have carried and given birth to a child has made me so much more relaxed about how my body looks. Although I think maybe some of it is more a case of I don't care as much anymore?! Lol:haha:

Hugs to all.
Xxx
 
Oh gosh Sk 9 stone.. haven't been that since I was a child! I'm a UK 10 to 12 at 11stone and if I drop below that people start asking if I'm I'll :) I'm happy at a size 12.. maybe by the summer..

Anyway L and I had a lovely day while dh slept after night shift, we went to the petstore to see the rabbits, fish etc. Got some cat food, fish food and dog treats. Then went to mothercare and got crib sheets for the baby as I seem to have lost them. Then went for lunch, to the book shop and the chemist etc. Then we met my friend at the local leisure centre (the mw friend) and went to the kids playzone where L and her 3 and 5 year old ran around non stop! Clio I thought of you as it sounds like J needs an area like this, it was a 3 story softplay area and the kids just ran non stop only popping back to us for juice... They had a ball!

I wonder if it's got a website brb...

sounds like a great day!
didn't she have a nap at all? wasn't she cranky?
 
I have to say since having lucy I have never been more comfortable with my size or shape (apart from when I was a skinny size 8-10 back in 2000) I think the fact that I have carried and given birth to a child has made me so much more relaxed about how my body looks. Although I think maybe some of it is more a case of I don't care as much anymore?! Lol:haha:

I am the same. I still complain about my hips being wider etc, but I think I just don't have the energy to care as much as before!

I read the article and although I agree with the way you see it Angel re. the boys, there was something about the way it is written that I didn't like?:shrug:
I agree with Borboleta, I'm glad that I don't have a girl, but similar issues apply to boys - my DH is very self-concious about his body and tends to get obsessed about working out etc and I really don't wont Gael to grow up feeling that's what is expected of him :nope:
 
storm - don't know if you mentioned, are you hoping for one type of birth?
 
a few pictures of the birthday boy :cloud9:
 

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Ah Kosh, he is beautiful, I love love his hair, slightly wild!

SK I agree you look so young in that photo. I love the rolly on the FB pic! And you have beautiful hair, I love red hair, so much so that I use to henna it, now too much grey that needs hiding! I can also totally see Finn in you.

Me and my body after Sophia, well I have been more comfortable in my own skin, but tbh I have good and bad days....today is a bloated one! But I think I've always been like that. Tbh what I am most uncomfortable with is my fitness, I use to be fit, and I just have no time or energy for that! I am meant to be doing an exercise DVD twice a week when Sophia naps, but I now have a dodgy knee from doing so much kneeling and bending down with Sophia I think, so that's on hold :nope:

Before I had Sophia I wanted a boy, one of the main reasons was the whole body image thing with girls. Now obviously I wouldn't change a thing, but I am so aware of it. It is not only about been overweight though, it's about all the oh you look so pretty comments all the time, everything is always pretty with a little girl and I am sure that's part of the reason girls grow up thinking that their looks are more important than their brains, sense of humour, personality etc and there is only so much you can control externally as they get older. It's a worry for sure, but tbh I don't think that it's limited to girls anymore, I still think it's worse for girls, but boys are becoming so much more image conscious, I know my OH is more image conscious than me :haha: I don't think I have a particularly negative self image and nor did my mum. But that article does remind people to stop being negative about themselves in whatever capacity in front of, or with their children. But I do think it's only part of the problem as we live in such an image obsessed world, so it's all around us. I suppose we can help our children to deal with those influences as they grow, well I hope we can anyway.

Poor Sophia has a cold now. And I am worried with work about what I may be bringing home. I looked after a patient for 6 hrs yesterday with very likely meningitis. Some of the procedures that we carried out with the patient do put us at more risk of infection, but it's still pretty small. I have looked after so many people with meningitis and thought nothing of contracting it after I come home. But now with Sophia I am a total worry head, I need to call occupational health.

Anyway ladies hope you are having a lovely Thursday x
 
Kosh I love the pics, he is so handsome and I love his hair too! As for Miss L she fell asleep in the car on the way home which was a disaster as I had to let her nap for half an hour and she didn't want to go to bed last night..

As for the birth I'm hoping for a nice straightforward vaginal birth with hopefully just gas and air like with L. Thing is I know how flipping sore it is this time! I don't want an epidural as that will guarantee an overnight stay and I don't want a catheter either! That said I was begging for pethadene or an epidural with L but it was too late :). I guess my main aim is to get the baby out safely without too much damage to me!

I have the mw this afternoon and tomorrow I have a funeral, my friends dad died, not unexpectedly. Her parents were friends of mine so my dad will go with me and dh can look after L. Not looking forward to it, but then again who does like funerals!

Had to laugh at L this morning, she was messing around so I turned the light on to get her up and was greeted with a little grumpy face screwing her eyes up saying 'no mummy, turn light off!' She's funny!
 
Kosh he is gorgeous! I especially like the first piccie cause he looks so delighted and expectant :D

Claire wow that is a great present :D Let us know how she takes to the fish? Hope she won't be like that girl in Finding Nemo ;) Not likely of course lol (Finding Nemo is of my favourite animated films btw, I just love it!)

Charlie about not wanting a girl for the whole body image thing, I totally understand what you mean there. I always wanted girls and it took about an hour after finding out that I was expecting twin boys rather than girls till I could be happy about them. But not passing on my really bad attitude towards eating and my body was one of the things that made me realise early on that I am lucky I would have boys. I realise of course that it is now also affecting boys but I do still think it is less so. Plus my OH has a great attitude towards food but one that makes me stare at him in open mouthed disbelief: He will actually leave a tiny corner of a brownie or biccie or bread roll when he has had enough and is full. I seriously don't understand how that is possible. I have never felt so full that one tiny corner of food would have to remain uneaten. I realise of course that his attitude is healthy and mine isn't but I just cannot understand him lol And to illustrate what size left overs we are talking of, I am going to include a picture I once took in sheer fascination.
IMG_0087.jpg
Maybe my not leaving food if at all possible stems from my mum who is similar (even though slim all her life) but her attitude comes from her childhood in post-war Berlin where food was hard to come by.
But the whole thing is very complex of course and it isn't just one thing or another.
I hope Sophia will recover from her cold soon poor thing!
But I didn't realise that meningitis was contagious! How dreadful! But yes I bet your work does mean extra worry on that front.
How are you liking work now? Are you back in the swing of it or is the hecticness/hecticity (? < :haha:) still a bit much?

Btw Sabrina and Charlie I too always wanted red hair! I wanted to have hair like Deborah Kerr or Rita Hayworth lol, so I too coloured it with henna. My father said it made me look Jewish in a non good way. How racist and mean of him but I know what he meant. It didn't suit me even though my skin is very light. Didn't stop me of course but now looking back I must say it wasn't a fantastic look for me. But other than that I have never coloured my hair and I am not looking forward to having to do it all the time when I start going grey. I had one grey hair last year or the year before, cannot remember, but mercifully none since. I find it annoying enough to use anything but the most rapid leave in conditioner. I imaging having to colour ones' hair would mean loads more time spent in the bathroom? Blah!

Storm I am sorry you have to go to a funeral. They are indeed horrible.
Hope all will be well with the MW this afternoon too.
And L always makes me smile. She has such character! I wonder if your second girl will be as much of a little whirlwind. ;)

As for us, all is well. OH is out today again as he is working on his house. Tenants moved out and left the place in a dreadful state. So he has painting and repair work to do. None of which he particularly likes. I on the other hand always found painting and DIY meditative and relaxing. Not that I would like to do it for him, mind you! His house is in such a horrible part of London and is such a dreary place that I always call it his hovel lol He agrees with me btw.
Dominic is making great progress on his little sentences, if you can call them that? An example would be, he saw the cat outside the window and pointed at him and said "Mummy, like kitty!" to denote that he likes Alfie. And when I was brushing his hair, which he HATES, he said "Mummy please no! No like!" Aww how can I continue when I am being asked like that! At first I thought he only knows please in connection with food cause he always asks for "Biccie Pleeeaaaase!" but that brushing incident proved that he understood the word as such. I am so proud of him :) Btw I don't know where he got please from cause although I always say please when I want him to give something to me, I only asked him to say please once or twice before handing something to him before he started using the word. As for like, I don't know how he picked that one up but it started with food too. He will go "Hmm! Like!" and Hmm sounds just like Yoda lol And he cracks me up cause he started saying moremoremore and nonono. Yesterday in gymbo he was saying "nonono no like" to the teacher when he said to him "come Dominic it is bubble time". Too funny. :D

But that reminds me: Clio unless it is the gymbo dance ("Gymbo the clown goes up and down, up and down) and airlog time where they can bash the airlog in rythm to a song, or parachute time, neither of my boys consent to do what is expected of them and run in all directions doing their own thing.

Sebastian has been talking a tiny bit more. He said Ellie and Pati (Pato) and bubbles and tried saying treasure too. But the words don't come often and certainly not as repetitvily as they are with Dominic, who will repeat a word hundreds of time until you acknowledge that word by saying it back to him. Sigh.
But they are both so much fun now and such little persons. I love this stage! :)

Got to go, they are waking from their nap and I need another fortifying coffee before going in to them.
 

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