any other over 35 first time mums?

[charlie15]

Oh ladies, I'm feeling so upset today!
I was checking Lucy's teeth earlier (something she isn't normally very compliant about) and it looks to me like she has the early signs of decay on her top teeth.
There are white deposits on the gum line and the enamel looks a bit dull.
I'm so upset right now, that I have in some way neglected my baby (I haven't)
I know the dentist will probably say it's the brestfeeing ,but there are such mixed messages on this subject. I was under the impression that breast milk from the breast wasn't bad as it doesn't really come in contact with the teeth like cows milk/formula from a bottle etc. and it doesn't contain lactose?
Going away now to cry some more

Do you know for sure that this is what it is?

I would just get Lucy to a dentist to advise Hun, it really may not be decay. I have no idea about decay and breastfeeding, I am guessing you are thinking about her night feeds?

 

[Indigo77]

Claire...I hope it's not tooth decay...

Angel...the one think I try to avoid is fueling the fire w N...distraction w humor works best for him (so far) & manipulating his environment to avoid certain behaviors.... https://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/7-secrets-of-toddler-discipline?page=1
There is a book referenced that may be helpful? I think I need to order it soon.

Clio....I'm trying to find your carpet stain recipe! I hate carpet! Our next house will have no carpet!

We're trying to head to the park before it rains, N really needs time outside, but he's not cooperating.

 

[AngelUK]

Claire you are not a neglectful mother! Even if it is decay (which it might not be!) I am sure you did your best to brush her teeth during the day. Don't beat yourself up about it please! I seriously doubt it is because of BF. But best thing you can do is go and see a dentist. Mind you, how they manage to check their teeth is beyond me. Unless they comply. I doubt my boys would.

Charlie and Indigo thanks for the advice. Will check out the link xxx

 

[clio]

Claire-- I'm sure the dentist can reassure you. Does L have a problem with gluten? That can affect the enamel on your teeth.

Re: Secret Cat Sick Solution--I posted it on FB, but I'll repeat it here: one bottle hydrogen peroxide, two tablespoons baking soda and one of dishwashing detergent (here they always want "Dawn." I have some just because it seems to be the dishwasher detergent of choice for all of these Americans and their homemade remedies. I have no idea if it actually does something differently than others.) Spray it on in the evening, vacuum it up the next day, and reapply for the parts of the stain it didn't get out. Sure beats scrubbing and then trying to get the detergent or whatever else you use out, as well.

Oh, it turns out that Dawn fights grease (what doesn't these days?). So I guess find an equivalent?

Angel--I don't know what to do about discipline. We're going through the same problems. J also hit me yesterday, and I yelled (usually "NO!!!" Or "JONAH!!!". Both because I'm surprised and because it shocks him into stopping.) I've found that right now, talking sternly makes no difference, explaining makes no difference, time outs would never work, unless I stand there, pinning him down, so, I go for distraction when I can. I like it--then I don't have to discipline at all, but it just means I've postponed the inevitable! The only thing we repeat to J is: "Always be kind to people and animals, Jonah. You're not being kind to us/me/the cat(s)."

Storm--This baby better not come late! You sound so uncomfortable! And I'm sure L doesn't make it easier! Are you anywhere closer to coming up with a name? Because you might just be trying to figure out one from your hospital bed!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Angel we used to pay 650 a month for L, but now it's just 2 days it's 305, they up the daily rate when you drop days. BUT the salary scale over here is much lower than London so it's still very expensive for us. A full day is about 37 but a half is 30... It's entirely up to you about the boys, I don't feel they are missing out but it might be nice for you all to have a few hours apart? I wouldnt say it's necessary mind you.

As for discipline, I find if I say 'do you want mummy to shout' she stops and then I distract her with something else. My sil is a nursery teacher and never smacks or shouts, she is all for distracting, but seriously that woman has the patience of a saint.

Clairey don't panic! Firstly you are an amazing mum and if it is decay as a result of bf then I'm surprised! We bought L a battery operated toothbrush (it does say 6 plus on it) but given her tolerance me level for brushing I've found it really good!

Still no Labour, just lots of bh again and some hurt! I never had all this nonsense with L! Come on little baby, lets be having you!

 

[Kitty_love]

Clairey - first, big hugs. Second, you've done nothing wrong. I agree with the other ladies that maybe a trip to the dentist would help ease your mind. Probably nothing bad at all, please don't cry. She'll be absolutely fine!

Blake has the run of the kitchen now, hope that's not gonna change? Not if oven/stove is on, then it's playpen time, but he has tons of fun in the kitchen as it's the only room besides the bathrooms that isn't carpeted. He "surfs" on empty cereal boxes (hands on box, while crawl/sliding across the floor) and loves to bang shape sorter pieces on the tiles to make noise! Plus, our house is open plan, so no doors, and he wants to be with me while I clean, and I like a clean kitchen! Other rooms can be messy, have clothes on the floor or whatever, I'm not too concerned, but not the kitchen!

More later...he's awake!

 

[SabrinaKat]

let's see - discipline - we try 'No, not nice', which he will repeat (whether he understands, I don't know), also distraction (we watch alot of Shaun the Sheep!), no proper smackings or spankings ever, but we are trying to say 'it hurts....'; his latest trick is to climb on his toddler table and we say 'no', and he says 'no', then we remove him over and over again. We will try 'time outs' when he gets older, but he does understand that some behaviour is 'bad' and it makes mommy 'sad', and will offer a kiss in apology....

creche costs: here it's about 5 euros an hour, but it goes in increments, so I pay 633.00 euros (about 500 pounds a month) for 30 hours a week (7.30 to 2), but my hourly pay for a 16 hour week is about 20 euros an hour, so after creche is paid and transport to/from work, I have about 200-300 euros left, but it is usually spent on meds, food, etc....There is no way that I could afford to put 2 children in creche! (plus the cost was originally over 800 a month because he was under 12 months, etc) as the ratio is 3:1 for babies and 6:1 over 19 months....

was called by an agency that places teachers in UK schools, so hopefully they can help me find a job -- so far, no luck with the 5/6 applications I've sent and am supposed to send a few more out Monday, but to be honest, have no energy!

and guess who was blasting music this am? not me...nice to see the noisy neighbours are worried about the hearing on the 10th feb...growl!

hugs!

 

[clio]

Blake has the run of the kitchen now, hope that's not gonna change? Not if oven/stove is on, then it's playpen time, but he has tons of fun in the kitchen as it's the only room besides the bathrooms that isn't carpeted. He "surfs" on empty cereal boxes (hands on box, while crawl/sliding across the floor) and loves to bang shape sorter pieces on the tiles to make noise! Plus, our house is open plan, so no doors, and he wants to be with me while I clean, and I like a clean kitchen! Other rooms can be messy, have clothes on the floor or whatever, I'm not too concerned, but not the kitchen!

More later...he's awake!

It was such a relief once we decided to let him out of the living room. I was going batty because of the small space. Little by little, we've let him have the run of the house, and each time we open another area up to him, we feel a sense release. Just don't ask us about baby proofing!

 

[clio]

So J and I just got back from our first real swimming lesson, and he was a super-star! So brave--I am so so proud of him! I'm glad we had gone a number of times already to my rec centre's pool, because he no longer meltsdown when we change into and out of (!!!) cold wet clothes. If that had been our first time!

Anyway, he was a newcomer to this class; the parents had been signing up their kids for this class for ages now, and knew all the "moves" to the songs, and had skills J didn't. But J was brave enough to jump off a low edge into my arms and then be dunked by me 3 times! He even took part in the farewell song, which dunked ears and noses and mouths underwater. At the end, I told him to wave good bye to the teachers and he would not stop waving at them. He's a shy waver, so that means a lot!

He fell asleep in the car and went straight to bed for his nap.

What's odd is that we're doing something OH doesn't understand at all; he grew up in a freezing, landlocked province and couldn't care less about swimming. I tried to tell him all of the wonderful things J did, and he has no idea what I'm talking about. I can't blame him, though. This is Edmonton, after all.

 

[Claireyb1]

Clio- lucy doesn't have a problem with gluten. I've never heard of a link between the 2?
I don't feel as bad this evening. I gave her teeth a good brush and looked at them again and they didn't look as bad, but I'm not sure if it was because I wasn't looking at them in proper light or not??
I will be making an appointment with her dentist on Monday. She has been once already about 4 months ago.
Storm- I bought lucy a gruffalo electric toothbrush for Christmas, thinking she would like it and let me brush them more easily.............errrr,epic failure! Lol

Thanks ladies for all your reassurances etc. bringing up children is certainly hard and worrying!

 

[Indigo77]

N didn't nap yesterday or today...very unusual...

Do yours ever do this?

 

[SabrinaKat]

LO usually does sleep, but how was overall sleep? (any more than normal at night?)

OH went down to his mum's, but I begged off as I have a slight headache and want to do some housework, applications, etc. There is a part-time job at a school in Belfast teaching Latin and I want it! We wouldn't have to move, I would be teaching 3 days a week and have the other 2 for my Latin postgrad cert and time with LO, and the commute, although 1 1/2 hours by car would be do-able (currently, it takes 1 20 minutes from my house to city centre Dublin in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon)....I'll pm storm to ask if she knows this school!

and MIL found the ring (it had fallen next to the bed)....

um...not much else...!

hugs to all!

I can't believe that Finn will be 2 tomorrow! (no party, but lots of cake!)

 

[clio]

N didn't nap yesterday or today...very unusual...

Do yours ever do this?

Sadly, it happens. You'll probably get a super-long nap today!

 

[AngelUK]

I don't think it ever happened with our boys. I have a vague memory that Sebastian might once not have fallen asleep in his cot at lunch time but it must be a long time ago. Usually they both drop off within 5 to 10 minutes.

 

[charlie15]

N didn't nap yesterday or today...very unusual...

Do yours ever do this?

Sophia has the occasional moment of either no nap, or a very short nap and it is usually developmental with her and then she settles back into naps as usual after a week or so.

 

[Claireyb1]

Lucy's never not napped at all but we've had some horrendously rubbish ones! It usually means a longer nap the next day.

 

[Borboleta]

Thiago never skipped a nap either, probably because I rock him to sleep. I would take a nap every day too if someone was rocking me to sleep .

 

[Storm1jet2]

L doesn't do naps.. they are so last year! Lol..

Sk what school? I'm dying to know!

 

[clio]

I remember more than one day in a row, sitting downstairs, going: "Please shut up! Pleeeeeeease shut up!!!" On days like that, he never did.

 

[Storm1jet2]

After my no nap post L decided she wanted a nap and slept for 2 hours, she's going to be up all night... Arghhhhh