any other over 35 first time mums?

[SabrinaKat]

well...........my immediate supervisor has realised the error of his ways, e.g. the threat of legal action, and I seem to have my job, although it will be 5 mornings a week, rather than 3...oh, well.

Finn is good today, but I am tired (stress of worrying about work), so me thinks will take it easy today, hopefully, Finn agrees!

I love all the pictures of assorted LOs -- we do have a cute bunch, eh!

hugs

 

[Borboleta]

well...........my immediate supervisor has realised the error of his ways, e.g. the threat of legal action, and I seem to have my job, although it will be 5 mornings a week, rather than 3...oh, well.

Finn is good today, but I am tired (stress of worrying about work), so me thinks will take it easy today, hopefully, Finn agrees!

I love all the pictures of assorted LOs -- we do have a cute bunch, eh!

hugs

Sabrina: good to know things are moving your way. Isn't it amazing when the work "court" comes in people just change their attitude!!! your boss looks like an idiot! So sorry you have to deal with him!

Conina and Storm happy to have you girls back.

So thiago had his 6 months check up and shots yesterday. He went to bed at 9 pm yesterday after a meltdown ( poor thing was exhausted!!). Hubby and I woke up at 3:30am so went to check on him and he was soo hot. Fever of 101.3F or 38.5C so gave him some Tylenol and brought him to bed with me. He slept until 6:45am and seems to be doing fine now just with a low grade fever. Poor little man, shots and those two big front top teeth braking in!!! What a day!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Poor Thiago! My LO had his 6 month shots last week and with teething, I felt sorry for him...

OMG! I just changed a very poopie nappy and it had bits of chicken in it (gross!)....

Nothing much else....hope all are well!

bye!

 

[clio]

SabrinaKat and Borboleta--oh man, I just came from an epic "get J down to sleep for his nap" session, and have no idea why I wrote your names. Hold on, let me think a bit... Ahhh--the six month shots. T had such a strong reaction? Oh, poor him. J just slept and grumped around for a bit. And poor Finn, with the teething, too. Whay oh Whay is life so hard for our LOs? And for us???

SabrinaKat--wow, you don't mess around. I am seriously impressed. This all happened, when, two-three days ago, and you've already threatened to take him to court and settled the matter? I'd still be sitting here on the couch, blanket over my head, trying to get the energy and courage to to sort this all out!

Angel--how are you doing? Are you still down, or did you get a night off? Anyway, still:

My "night off" consisted of:
- 1 o'clock, J starts crying. Husband (his night!) doesn't hear him through the monitor. I sleep in the room next door to J's and wake up. Have to see if OH will get up. OH doesn't. Have to get up, wake OH up. OH, in his sleepy confusion, yells at me: "I was getting up!!!" He doesn't remember that this morning.
- 6 o'clock. Still "my night off"--I typically sleep until 7:30, 8 am on my mornings off. Daddy opens my door, plops J down on me and says "I can't handle him." What does he mean by this? J is apparently all over him, not leaving him alone. Needing hugs and cuddles and then down, then playing right by him, then hugs and cuddles and then down again. I stare at him, and say: "Welcome to my world." This is ALL J does with me. I don't get no "independent play" anymore like OH does since separation anxiety set in. Normally, my husband can work while J plays in the morning, leaving him alone. I've tried to explain to him what it's like--that a few hours with J seems like a million because he's become whiney barnacle boy with me. Only now does he understand what I was talking about.

I feel like I should explain the cushy arrangement I have re: taking care of J, especially at night. (And please, no one say that I don't have to explain myself. It's just getting to the point where I seem like a lay about.) I have bipolar (manic depression). I have for 20 years, so it's pretty much under control, and just a part of life. BUT, the thing that triggers it is lack of sleep, or interrupted sleep. And, too much stress, obviously. So, we trade off. Two hours each with the boy, and then we pass him to the other person. One night on, one night off, and OH does all mornings because I can't wake up that early after already being woken during the night. Hence, my lay-ins. This was arranged long before J was even conceived. We knew that if we wanted a baby, I was going to need help. The chances of someone with bipolar getting PND is 75%. But, I didn't get it, so something's working. And, my husband and his hours help a lot.

The thing is, I look at all of you, taking care of your LOs all day long, and wonder how you do it. And boy, do I admire you.

BUT, and I really need to emphasize this: I'm fine. We've done really well. The trading off works, and Oma helps a lot by taking him twice a week, and then I can get even more sleep. I just felt that it was getting time to explain all of this sleep.

 

[Indigo77]

Well done, Clio, on working it out. It's amazing that you didn't get PND. I never thought of you as someone that just slacks off, though...just an FYI..

Poor Thiago! Please give him a cuddle for me..

 

[SabrinaKat]

Clio - YOU are amazing! I also suffered from mild depression (didn't get PND too badly, it was more sleep deprivation) and due to wanting to be 'alert' I take 1/2 to 1/3 dose of my sleeping tablets, so some nights it is really, really, really hard to get much sleep (plus stress (e.g. employer, OH) doesn't help. I did cognitive behavioural therapy after an mc a few years ago, and fortunately, learned some tricks, but some nights, it IS hard.

As for clingy, whining babies? Sadly, Finn has turned into that, BUT if we play with him, he laughs and dances and plays, and by the time my OH gets home, I am exhausted. However, and as well, Finn is usually a pretty sweet little boy, and he does sleep okay at night (although last night, for instance, he will wake up every so often and I replace the dummy and just cross my fingers....). Incidentially, I have OH do two nights a week as well as I need some sleep as well -- never apologise, tho!

Right now, my OH is getting an idea of how demanding Finn is -- not crying, but a bit loud and easily bored...

yawn...

 

[Leeze]

Aw, poor little Thiago. Injections and 2 new teeth. That's a lot for a little fella to have to deal with. Sending hugs. Clio, I think it's great you guys really thought it through so well to make sure you could get enough sleep and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Sounds like you're being a really responsible parent and partner. Big respect to you for putting things in place the way you did. Do you think your OH was just having an off moment? I know for me if. I haven't had enough sleep and Kia's being clingy then I often feel like it's too much and I can't handle it. Then ten minutes later she's giggling about something and my stresses melt away somehow! So ... I'm at my parents and already today 3 different people have wanted to give her cake or a biscuit. What is that all about? Makes me really angry. Grr

 

[Leeze]

Sorry, meant to say too ... Well done Sabrina. Sounds like quite a result with your work. Well done. How are you feeling about going back 5 mornings? I'm going back 3 days and I'm not really looking forward to it but I think I'm starting to accept it more.

 

[Borboleta]

Clio: so nice that you shared your story with us. I always think that you might be helping one of us with issues that we have to deal with just by sharing your feelings . You are a lovely mother.

Leeze: I know people like stuffing kids with sweets don't they! Thiago's aunt gave him his first Popsicle but she made sure to tell us that it was sugar free.

Thanks for all the thiago hugs. He is doing a little better today. Low grade fever and I am trying to make sure he takes his naps. We went to one of his favorite places , walmart, and got some more Tylenol and Advil for later.
My hubby finally got a phone interview today!!! I am starting to stress about money but hopefully he will be getting a job soon and things will get back to normal .

 

[Storm1jet2]

Evening ladies - just having a quick catch up there with DH baths the little lady. Had the worst night with her last night, she was sooo unsettled, not that she is ever great at night but last night was one of those crying every half hour nights, I dont even remember what time I brought her in with me at! DH was on a 12 hour nightshift and as she screamed solidly from 5-6.20 and then got up and was moany cause she was tired when he arrived home after 8 I practically threw her at him and went to bed for an hour. I'm so tired today I'm ready to collapse. I'm going to bed when she does and as DH isnt working for a few days he can help for a few hours.


Sleep deprived ladies you are not alone, over 8 months and she's had 4 good nights ever... Ever hopeful tonight will be number 5

Better dash as shes just arrived clean and ready for bed - time for me to give her that last bottle as she wont take it for anyone else... ps I only bath her every night as she ends up with her dinner through her hair and EVERYWHERE!

4 more months and Im back to work - shes bound to be sleeping by then isnt she??????????

 

[Bravemom]

Ladies your babies are all beautiful and I hope you all get some sleep ,it does get better I promise ,with my kids I ended up having them in bed with me just for the extra sleep and because of that i only got them out of my bed wen they were three years old Sabrina well done on standing your ground Will u be able to manage five days work with your l.o ?

 

[Borboleta]

Evening ladies - just having a quick catch up there with DH baths the little lady. Had the worst night with her last night, she was sooo unsettled, not that she is ever great at night but last night was one of those crying every half hour nights, I dont even remember what time I brought her in with me at! DH was on a 12 hour nightshift and as she screamed solidly from 5-6.20 and then got up and was moany cause she was tired when he arrived home after 8 I practically threw her at him and went to bed for an hour. I'm so tired today I'm ready to collapse. I'm going to bed when she does and as DH isnt working for a few days he can help for a few hours.


Sleep deprived ladies you are not alone, over 8 months and she's had 4 good nights ever... Ever hopeful tonight will be number 5

Better dash as shes just arrived clean and ready for bed - time for me to give her that last bottle as she wont take it for anyone else... ps I only bath her every night as she ends up with her dinner through her hair and EVERYWHERE!

4 more months and Im back to work - shes bound to be sleeping by then isnt she??????????

Hi storm,

So sorry to hear about LO not sleeping well. why are these babies not sleeping!!! If they just knew how wonderful it is to have a full night of sleep!!! Unfortunelly they will just figure it out when they become teenagers and them we are older and old people don't sleep well ... So you know what that means to us!!!

 

[AngelUK]

Sabrina well done for getting through to your boss even though this is more work than you wanted. I often let official ppl walk all over me! I'm a wuss at times

Borboleta poor little Thiago! Even adults would not feel well under such circumstances. So no wonder he suffered. I really hope he is better now and back to his cute smiley self. Oh and I just I bet with the new teeth his smile is going to be even cuter! Do post a pic when they are through? In the meantime I hope he doesn't suffer too much. Oh and I really hope your hubby gets the job

Clio you are amazing! I think you should be proud of yourself for how well you are doing. You should never apologize for getting some sleep! Even if it were way more, I would still say, good for you! Children are tiring, I had no idea how tiring before I had them. I mean, my boys are small still and don't have that many complicated demands but it does drain me. So with an older child it must be more tiring even! (I really need to get fit for when my boys get crawling and walking waahh!) And then added to the mix your bi polar and all I can say you are clever and resourceful and obviously a really great mum! Organisation is all and when there is a sense of humour such as yours added to the mix you do get a rather super mum (and I mean that in a truly complimentary way, not the way I use it for some of the ladies in BC )

As for clingy babies, mine aren't too bad yet and I wonder if perhaps they won't get as clingy as singletons as they have each other and are never alone? At the moment they don't interact much apart from maybe looking at each other but surely it must register that there is someone always there with you? When did it start with your babies?

As for offering a baby cake! I hope they asked you and didn't just give her some and you had to intervene? Cause that would have been so hard on poor lil Kia, unless she isn't that interested anyway?
I really hated it when walking with my dogs when ppl just came over and stroked them without asking, so I just know I will get really angry if someone offered my boys food or even touched them without my permission What a comparison though lol.

Stormjet I feel for you I really do but when I read that your girl has never slept well and is over 8 months old, I do feel a bit dashed in my hope for Dom sleeping better soon. Ppl keep promising me that it will get better. At first they talked of 12 weeks, then they said Hungry Baby Milk, then Solids once a day and now it is wait till 6 months. But so many babies on kosh's other thread are way older than 6 months and sleep so badly that I wonder if perhaps my Dom will follow their lead. But I guess only time will tell and it isn't as if I can do much at this point anyway. Hope you get your 5th night tonight and feel refreshed tomorrow

Kosh my dear, are you better? I am thinking of you lots and hope things are starting to look a lil rosier.

 

[clio]

Thanks for your kind words, everyone. I hate doing the "big reveal," but after awhile, once you've gotten to know people and talk about so much, it becomes harder and harder to not explain why things work a bit differently in my house. It becomes easier for people to have the background info.

Do you think your OH was just having an off moment? I know for me if. I haven't had enough sleep and Kia's being clingy then I often feel like it's too much and I can't handle it. Then ten minutes later she's giggling about something and my stresses melt away somehow! So ... I'm at my parents and already today 3 different people have wanted to give her cake or a biscuit. What is that all about? Makes me really angry. Grr

He probably was having an off moment; today was his first day back teaching, so he's nervous. But, he's never gone through the clinginess with J yet either. That was his first time.

As for biscuits, I actually told my MIL to feed him whatever she liked (which turned out to be sugary Num Nums ) simply because I knew that she'd be nervous about the BLW. My husband and I figured that if she didn't have to second guess herself, it would be easier for her to just hand him food. But I really didn't expect Num Nums!

Thanks for all the thiago hugs. He is doing a little better today. Low grade fever and I am trying to make sure he takes his naps. We went to one of his favorite places , walmart, and got some more Tylenol and Advil for later.
My hubby finally got a phone interview today!!! I am starting to stress about money but hopefully he will be getting a job soon and things will get back to normal .

I'm glad that Thiago is feeling better, though I'm surprised that he still has a fever. Poor little one! How did he sleep so far today?

And yay for interview!!! That must be a relief. Fingers crossed that he gets it!

Storm1jet2--that sounds like an awful night. Might as well stay up all night if it's every half hour, and staying up all night sucks. I'm sorry! I didn't realize that your LO is such a bad sleeper! Do you take part in Kosh's other thread?

As for clingy babies, mine aren't too bad yet and I wonder if perhaps they won't get as clingy as singletons as they have each other and are never alone? At the moment they don't interact much apart from maybe looking at each other but surely it must register that there is someone always there with you? When did it start with your babies?

It just started a few weeks ago (so, 7 months-ish?). Though, come to think of it, ever since he started cruising, he's made a beeline for me, even if DH is in the room. But the extreme clinginess, no more than a month ago. It's getting worse in the evening, too, to the point where I have to wear him to get anything done. I don't know about twins, but hopefully it'll be easier for you. Have you read anything about twins that will give you a clue as to how they will react to things as compared to singletons?

Kosh-- Hang in there.

 

[skweek35]

Hi ladies,

Just popping in to say hi!
Love seeing all the pics of your LO's! They are so gorgeous!!

Was back at work yesterday, although we have had staff training yesterday and today again. Kids (yes I'm a teacher) are back tomorrow, so expecting to be exhausted tomorrow night.
I only have about 5 or 6 weeks work till my Maternity leave starts! I hope I last that long.

 

[SabrinaKat]

In our case, there is some whining at times, but he really seems clingy/restless the last week or so (so, at 7 months), but Finn isn't cruising yet (he makes the motions, but seems happier 'crawling' like a crab on his back, e.g. moving his butt and body as he rolls and therefore, needs to be watched all the time (unless in his bouncy chair). We've been practising sitting up, and I did try spreading his legs for balance, but he keeps trying to grab toys almost within reaching distance and then pitches forward (he's on one corner of a two person couch/sofa and I am within a few inches of him, so can 'grab' him), which he thinks is so funny and starts snorting with laughter and then, pitches forward again.

Kosh- hugs!
Clio - I figure depression can be good, e.g. maybe out of the funk, we appreciate things more? I love Oscar Wilde's comment: 'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars'. Depression to me is the gutter, but sometimes, we can also truly appreciate the stars/good things....
AngelUK: hopefully, the twins won't be so clingy (be curious though in a few years if they develop twin language?)
skweek - everybody will tell you to get loads of rest now, etc., but the fact is...having a baby is one day/night at time -- make sure you 'enforce' some proper sleep-time (like clio and I do) where your OH is responsible, even 1 night a week can make such a difference.
Barboleta: hugs to little T - I hate injections, but it's better than the alternative....!
and Leeze, Bravemom and others - not ignoring, just knackered and can't think of anything to say!

we got Finn off to sleep around 9:30 - cross fingers that he lasts to 5 or 6am (he does, BUT wakes up and have to try to put dummy back in and cross fingers, so I never really truly sleep when I have him.....sigh!

best wishes

ps. does anybody know if there is a dummy/pacifier fairy? I seem to lose dummies between the cot and the bedroom door and then cannot ever find them again! I bought two new ones and one disappeared near the stairs BUT WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN....(I thought maybe my cat had a secret stash (I have lost earrings as well when I have just taken them out of the bag never worn AND NEVER SEEN AGAIN.....)), spooky, huh?

 

[kosh]

hi ladies!
what a day. funny you mention separation anxiety as i was wondering if that is what we're going through atm. Gael has been incredibly clingy and every time i put him down or leave the room he cries. he was doing this a week or so ago but i thought it was due to teething. i'm not too sure now.
i needed to get things done as someone is coming to see the house on friday (we're selling) and i managed to do zero! we'd had a bad night and only 3 short naps today so he was basically tired, grumpy and clingy ALL day. by the end of the day i really didn't know what else to do with him to keep him happy. on the positive side, he 'talked' himself to sleep at bedtime!

clio - thanks for sharing as leeze said,it's great that you and your DH planned it so well, and that is working! i suffer/ed from anxiety and was sooo worried I'd get PND. luckily didn't happen, i'm just incredibly tired and stressed,that's all lol

borboleta - how's Thiago now? here more oh and fingers crossed re. your DH job. what does he do?

sabrina - work situation! are you ok with working 5 days?

storm - I didn't know you had a bad sleeper too. come and join us in my other thread!

angel - is your night off tonight?

 

[kosh]

ps. does anybody know if there is a dummy/pacifier fairy? I seem to lose dummies between the cot and the bedroom door and then cannot ever find them again! I bought two new ones and one disappeared near the stairs BUT WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN....(I thought maybe my cat had a secret stash (I have lost earrings as well when I have just taken them out of the bag never worn AND NEVER SEEN AGAIN.....)), spooky, huh?

this is like the missing spoons at work!
someone actually did a test to see how long it would take for 10 new spoons to dissappear from an office kitchen!


oh - and I totally agree that depression (or any of those) makes you see/appreciate things differently.

 

[AngelUK]

kosh yes it is Speaking of which I am off to bed. Night night lovely ladies

 

[Leeze]

Just test quickly. Something to hopefully reassure you all re separation anxiety. Suddenly in the last 2 or 3 days Kia has got better about letting me leave the room. Feels quite liberating and I'm hoping it's here to stay! Storm, every 30 mins wake-up? Wow. That is scary stuff. Don't know how you cope with that. We sometimes get that at the start of the night say from 9.30 till 1.30 but then Kia normally sleeps at least 4 hours at a time after that. In fact, I feel very lucky that she's STTN for about the last 4 nights in a row. She's settled late, mostly 10pm or later but then slept until about 8am. Is your LO mobile yet? A couple of mums have said to me that their LO's sleep improved massively once they started crawling. Oh and re the biscuits, I managed to stop them giving them to Kia but she did get a bit wound up as one of them tried to hand one to her and she was about to take it before I intercepted it. It was a massive sugary oaty biscuit too - maybe something similar to what Clio was talking about with MIL. I said to the neighbour who was trying to give it to her that she wasn't really allowed things like that until she was 1 or older and he said 'oh, but I bet she'd give it a good go though'. What the f..k! She's not a doll. Then I must admit I did give her a tiny crumb of my mum's apple cake as it was home-made and my mum said it only had a tiny bit of sugar in it and I believe her because she's got lots of food allergies so wouldn't lie about it. Not sure it was the best idea but hey ho. Right, she's finally settled at nearly 11pm. I'm going to bed now. Night night. X