any other over 35 first time mums?

[Storm1jet2]

Oh Kosh whats up in your marriage? If its any consolation I hardly see my DH when I do I'm nagging him cause he just doesn't anticipate any of L needs, has to be handed everything and of course its me that does ALL the night shifts with the little madam and he just doesn't have a clue how bad it is - if he did he would seriously pull the finger out and help me more! We also have the added strain that I have now band him from going to see his parents while L is awake without her - he doesn't take her, he feels uncomfortable when she cries in their house due to their reaction! It makes me want to scream, I take L to my dads ALL the time, sometimes she screams sometimes she doesn't but my dad has never once said one negative thing about her - in fact one day she was having a bad day my dad actually took her up to his bedroom and closed the door and kept her screaming for 20 mins just so I could calm down as I was seriously ready to snap - he tries so hard. DH parents - they don't give a crap - they tell everyone how great she is and they literally visit her for an hour or two once a week... oh dear I'm off on one. Anyway I guess Im trying to say that this is an IMMENSELY stressful time and I defy anyone that is going through what we are with non sleeping little pixies to have a decent marriage right now.

Much love to the rest of you, Sabrina I'm stressing about work too, moreso cause L isn't sleeping and I don't know how I go to work if shes up from 3-5.22am like last night when I will have to get up at 6... sigh.

Clio - maybe you could get your cat to give my cats some lessons, 2 of the 3 tend to run away from L.

Ps ladies - always remember every baby is different and they all do things at different times, L is crawling like a nutter and pulling herself up on everything, so now she can't be bothered trying to talk anymore - we have been reduced to YUM YUM when she gets something she likes to eat and odd random shouting, all other babbling energy has been turned into crawling, bouncing, pulling my hair out (please stop I'm going bald!!) and poking me in the eyes or up the nose

Oh and Angel - I want one of your favours they sound fab! Please post some photos we would love to see them...

 

[SabrinaKat]

LO's taken two very long naps, so was working on the patchwork quilt -- I'm almost done with the front and the back will take me no time, so hopefully, will finish this week/weekend...(clio- I'll look at those patterns when I finish as I have a habit of not finishing projects/starting new ones, etc)

I'm pretty lucky with my OH in relation to LO, but he does tend to forget to do things, e.g. bring a bottle up or acts like he should get a medal for making up bottles! Given that all this week and last week, LO has slept past 7am (when my OH is getting ready for work) and he hasn't had to do a morning feed, he acts like I'm in easy street...yes, having clean clothes, bibs, feeding/weaning (OH hates to do as LO is messy-ish), entertaining LO, waking up throughout the night (but LO has been better) is soooooooooo easy! grumble, grumble...grumble!

it's cold and wet and rainy here -- can't go out, soooooooo tired of staying in....

oh, well....

bye!

ps. LO gets a special gleam in his eye when I'm holding him and he grabs my hair, glasses, etc....and let's not talk about the bad habits that the cats are showing him, heehee!
pps. can your LOs put their feet in their mouths? and if so, is it always during feeding and/or nappy changing? (I blame the cats for this one!)

 

[Storm1jet2]

Haha Sabrina yes she does stick her feet in her mouth but usually during nappy changing time. Ps where abouts are you? I'm just outside Ballyclare and we have been out dog walking this am while it was still dry, I guess when you have a dog you end up outside in the rain anyway!

We had our first cat run into - Lily (cat) was sitting on a cushion on the sofa and now L is pulling herself up on the sofa she started grabbing the poor cats tail and paw, obviously I tried to stop L, but given I can't get her to stop pulling my hair out I wasn't very successful! Lily got fed up and swiped at L, but I intercepted as I knew she was going to. Hmmm I wonder how long before the cat gets her?

L has just gone for a nap which spells disaster for bedtime but she was so tired and grumpy there was no way she was even going to eat dinner never mind last another few hours.

As for DH and L, he can look after her but that is it, he can't do ANYTHING when he has her, yet I'm expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, have everything sorted for L etc etc - can't wait to see how this works when I'm back at work 5 days a week.....

 

[SabrinaKat]

As for DH and L, he can look after her but that is it, he can't do ANYTHING when he has her, yet I'm expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, have everything sorted for L etc etc - can't wait to see how this works when I'm back at work 5 days a week.....

you should see the living room after he's played with LO...and on Saturday mornings when he has LO and I'm still in bed...

 

[clio]

Haha Sabrina yes she does stick her feet in her mouth but usually during nappy changing time. Ps where abouts are you? I'm just outside Ballyclare and we have been out dog walking this am while it was still dry, I guess when you have a dog you end up outside in the rain anyway!

We had our first cat run into - Lily (cat) was sitting on a cushion on the sofa and now L is pulling herself up on the sofa she started grabbing the poor cats tail and paw, obviously I tried to stop L, but given I can't get her to stop pulling my hair out I wasn't very successful! Lily got fed up and swiped at L, but I intercepted as I knew she was going to. Hmmm I wonder how long before the cat gets her?

L has just gone for a nap which spells disaster for bedtime but she was so tired and grumpy there was no way she was even going to eat dinner never mind last another few hours.

As for DH and L, he can look after her but that is it, he can't do ANYTHING when he has her, yet I'm expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, have everything sorted for L etc etc - can't wait to see how this works when I'm back at work 5 days a week.....

SabrinaKat--Yup. He especially eats his feet when he has shoes on. Luckily, he doesn't walk yet... What is this game you play with leaving food in the cats' bowl? Did F make it up?

StormJet--you said that 2 out 3 cats run from L. What does the third one do? I hope that Lily isn't the third one! I think Morgan is so good with J because a) she's lonely--she was the apple of our eye before and got all of our attention and b) she's bored and c) her breed. She's a Manx, and they are known to be the most dog-like of cats. So she's really patient and doesn't startle at anything. I've never seen a cat like her (and, like most of us, I've had a lot of cats).

After two horrible days and nights of teething, the second top one has finally broken through. Yay!

Okay, another J melt-down. He used to be so good at playing independently! So I'll have to come back...

 

[clio]

Okay, meltdown was actually about teething and needing a nap.

kosh--Are you feeling better? What's going on with your husband? I know that you decided that you wanted to trade off nights putting G to bed--did he agree? I've also got to say that I've never had this much tension between me and my husband, as well. And we don't really talk about it because it's just like a blanket hanging over us; there's nothing specifically wrong, but we're tired and bitchy. And at times resentful regarding who is supposed to take J when. What are the arrangements for little G when you go back to work? Will the division of labour re: G be more fair, seeing as both of you will now have the same work/home situation?

StormJet--I know what you mean about basically doing everything and OH knowing nothing about it. The man cannot do laundry, cook (well, he cooks, but I've never tasted anything more disgusting. Or smelled anything more disgusting.) He doesn't know what to buy for the boy, could never go clothes shopping for him, and has no idea what items need to be re-stocked. He has no sense of organization and even tried to dismantle my setup because he felt it made the living room "crowded." And who spent two days trying to find a brand of RF carseat for our stupid car? Me.

Angel--The christening sounds great! The story about your brother and Dom made me laugh, and poor Seb! (I love their names more and more every time I read or write them. As I said, I've always loved those names in the books. I did suggest Sebastian to OH, but he said no. As he did to almost every other male name.) And pics please! No matter how grainy. How did you dress the boys?

Borboleta--where are you? I want to hear what gorgeous little T is doing. How's the crawling going? And, of course, I want to know how you're doing!

Re: age--it's nice to be one of the youngest in a group when you're 40! Kosh, I appreciate this thread so much. It was a genius idea to get our demographic together.

So my sister (who is a complete train wreck) changed the date of the shower my mum is throwing her because one friend from Australia pushed her arrival date back. Because of this, my mum can't come for New Year's as planned. She's still coming, but at a more awkward time for all of us. And my sister is insisting on waiting for this friend because she's had to endure shower after shower and wedding after wedding, often dateless and obviously childless. She wants to impress ALL of her friends with her new man and her pregnancy, which I do understand, but seriously, the rest of us now have to change very elaborate and carefully thought-out plans for this one friend. And none of us want to tell her that she's being unreasonable because she's extremely volatile even when NOT pregnant. And right now, she is a ticking time bomb. In the end, it's not that big of a deal when my mum comes, but I so often want to shake my sister and try to snap her out of her self-centred-ness. (<--I'm almost certain that that is not a word.)

Bah!

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone. Not been around much due to teething hell and extreme tiredness. Yesterday something really awful happened. I tripped over in the street with Kia in the sling and she got a nasty bump to the head from hitting the pavement. We went to Accident and Emergency to get her checked out and luckily she's ok. Was so scary though and one of the worse days of my life. It happened so quickly. One minute I was chatting to my friend then suddenly I was lying on the pavement with Kia underneath me. Still in shock today but so relieved she's ok.

 

[Leeze]

Re babies and stress on relationships ... I'm so with you on this one. I get so frustrated with OH about little things and snap at him a lot. I feel like there's so much stuff he should know how to do by now and he still has to ask me about every little thing. But, I also know that I have very little patience for him. I'm tired and grumpy and somehow all of my tenderness and patience is reserved for Kia these days and pretty much all of the frustration and impatience I feel when I'm with her gets saved up for him and taken out on him. I'm kinda hoping it's just a phase and in a couple of years it'll all be easier. One way I've tried to describe it to him is that I spend all day thinking about her needs and I need him to take care of mine better. But, the reality is that he works hard, doesn't have much sleep either and also saves most of his love and tenderness for her at the moment.

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

We had a great night! 9:15am till 7am! he has never sleep this much before!!!

Kosh: to you. I am sure we all know how you feel. I was talking to another friend of mine yesterday. She is 42 and has a 9 month old baby ( first one) and she asked me if I have arguments with hubby more often since thiago is born. I told her Oh, yes!!!! We snap at each other more often and we are not as loving with one another as we used to. It is like we ent another persons life and we have to learn to adapt all over again! Very weird!!

And to the ladies that are going back to work: . In one hand it is nice to be around adults and have some time for yourself but in the other hand i cannot imagine how you feel leaving LO in another place with different people and just hope they are taking good care of him/ her. But my mom used to work when I was growing up nd she had a lady taking care of us and we loved her. She was really great! And I did baby sitting here when I first got to the US and I loved the little ones that I took care. I guess just follow your instinct and LO will be fine.

 

[AngelUK]

So many posts again!

Kosh I am sorry you are having problems with your DH. I wish I could help somehow cause I know how stressful babies can be for a marriage/partnership. I am here too to listen if you want to vent.

Ladies your kitties sound so much fun! It makes me miss ours She left us 5 months ago but it seems ages and yet only yesterday. But it is too soon to think of adopting a new kitty. First of all cause of the boys being too young maybe and secondly cause we still grieve. Besides for us there could never be her equal anyway cause she was perfect to and for us.

As for eating feet; my boys cannot quite bend that way yet. They are grabbing their feet when getting changed. When did yours start doing this?

So here are a few pics of the Christening. A bit blurry as you will see.

Sebastian after his extensive melt down, asleep on his godmother Nelly (he has two godmothers, Nelly and Andrea and one godfather, Beau)


Nick holding Sebastian's head cause poor Nelly could hardly hold my heavy boy any more after a while.


Father Stavros lowering Dom into the font.


All the godparents. I blurred the faces cause I couldn't really cut them out here. From left to right: My brother Stefan with the sleeping Dominic on his arm, Nick's sister Rena, Nelly with the sleeping Sebastian on her arm, Beau and Andrea.


In the Orthodox church it is custom for the babies to wear one outfit to the christening and a fresh one for after the dunking. So the first outfit they wore is this with a long sleeved vest underneath and long socks and Converse All Star shoes:

 

[AngelUK]

(only allowed 5 pics per post so here)
After their dunking they wore this outfit that I just photographed on my bed, it hasn't been washed and ironed yet but I couldn't find a pic online.

 

[SabrinaKat]

AngelUK- cute outfits (I really liked the first one!). I DO understand about kitty loss -- my beloved kitty (grey tabby with a fantastic personality) died about a year or so before I adopted Sabrina (to be fair, though -- I had moved from the USA to the UK and he was adopted/fostered by an old room-mate of mine when I moved, but we kept in touch (I sent packages, his new 'mummy' sent pictures)...he was amazing - after a previous partner died, Irving the cat slept on that side of the bed, so whenever I leaned over, there was a warm, purring body....

Kosh - I think we're all the same situation, more or less -- the fact is, that we are of a generation that discusses and talks about it -- unlike perhaps our parents, we don't keep it in, which was much more isolating and ultimately, destructive. You're not alone in having problems with your OH, so hopefully, our stories will help you (it does me and I mention to my OH the things you guys say, so he doesn't say it's all me, etc)?

Barboleta - for me, work is only mornings (pick-up at creche at 2) and I think it will be good for LO, e.g. they follow a curriculum, so LO will get additional stimulation especially for things I can't do as well, e.g. tummy time, more activities for crawling, etc. However, if I feel that I can't do work and look after LO OR he appears to not enjoy creche, I will be reconsidering working at all.

Leeze - glad that Kia is okay, but what about you?

Clio - the left-over food in the bowl is if I try to give LO a little too much and the cat is sitting there, waiting ever so patiently....so, of course, have to give the cat the left-overs as she has been so good.

had a bit of a scary moment myself today -- was peeling potatoes for sausages and mash and LO was in his highchair and I heard a 'crunch sound' and the back of the adjustable seat had collapsed backwards! LO was fine as he was strapped in, but lying completely flat on the chair! I tried to move the back back into place, but it wouldn't click back, so I made a game of it, laughing and unstrapped LO and brought him back into the living room. Very annoyed! My OH looked at the chair and 'fixed' it, but it now worries me a bit....

am off to sleep as am tired....OH is taking LO tonight, so will try to sleep a bit.....

bye!

ps. we think one of the cats has become a major klepto (I have missed earrings, etc, which may have gone through the worm-hole to Clio's), as my OH's watch and camera have gone walkies....(probably in my OH's computer room under his accumulated mess....he's lived here for six years and has never cleaned his bedroom properly (he just moves the piles of clothes over to put LO into his basket....)

oh, must run - LO has started teething again and needs his mummy (we had a few good days.....)

 

[Leeze]

Gorgeous photos Angel. What very cute outfits. Did everyone behave themselves? I mean the adults,obviously! Xx

 

[Leeze]

Sabrina, I'm mostly ok. Thanks for asking. Still in shock a bit and got a few cuts and bruises on my hands and knees. Also feeling very over-protective now. Was so awful that something can happen so quickly without any warning. Glad Finn's ok and the chair problem has been fixed. So many things out there that are potential hazards. I thought I was generally quite a laidback Mum but I think that might all have changed now! X

 

[kosh]

quick reply, will try to post properly tomorrow

all - thank you so much for your support. i wrote that comment right after an argument, feeling extremely upset. it does help to know I am not the only ones struggling in their relationship.

leeze - are you ok? is kia ok? i can only imagine how scared you must have been

angel - lovely pictures!! and i love the outfits!


should go to bed now!

 

[kizzyt]

Morning ladies!

Leeze how scary, you poor thing, big hugs to you xx

Sabrina that must have given you a shock too!! X

Kosh I think babies put a strain on every relationship, it's tough but you are not alone, my oh and I are more snappy than we used to be (tiredness causes most of it I am sure) but we also have a closeness we never had before so swings and roundabouts I guess!!

Barboleta - go thiago!! That's a great sleep!!

Angel the christening sounds wonderful, great pics too x

As for us, it was Georgina's 1st birthday on Monday, we had two parties on Sunday, one with my friends and kids and one family, it was great if not a little tiring! poor love was not too well tho with a rotten cold (combination of teething and nursery I think!) so she was tearful and clingy and not sleeping too well. On her actual birthday we spent the morning playing with her new toys and opening presents then we had lunch at nando's and my parents and niece came over and had cake and sang happy birthday

She's just learnt the word "no", was fun for a day or two but it's getting old pretty quickly!! Haha

Hi everyone else hope you're good

 

[kizzyt]

Oh and it's funny you are all cat lovers yet I'm so scared of them ive actually had hypnotherapy for it!

 

[kosh]

happy belated bday georgina!

 

[AngelUK]

Thank you all

Leeze I must have been typing out my post when you posted yours cause I totally missed it before! How utterly scary! Do you know how it happened? Did you slip or stumble over something? I am always scared of something like that when carying the boys. I used to have nightmare visions of me tripping and them flying out of my arms etc! I am glad Kia is ok and hope you will be too soon!

Sabrina if you can be sure that the chair tipping back wasn't some sort of design flaw or a weakness in construction I am sure it will ok. But saying that I am a lil wary of choosing a high chair cause I find them quite scary even though we are fast approaching the time when the boys will need them. Thank golly Finn was ok! And I know what you mean when you say making a game out of it. I have noticed that when one or the other of the boys bumped their head slightly on the wall above their changing table (they will turn over to see the decal tree there) and I made a fuss at first they were a lil shocked and cry-ey but when I smiled and laughed at them they soon changed into smiling too. Btw I don't mean to say that they bump their heads regularly there but it has happened once or twice while I was trying to put on their nappy and they twist and squirm towards their tree.

kizzyt Happy belated birthday to your lovely little Georgina. Hope she enjoyed her parties even though she wasn't 100%?
As for being scared of cats, did something happen when you were little? I am sorry they scare you so! Did the hypnotherapy help?

 

[AngelUK]

And kosh from what I have read on BnB it seems fairly normal that we all snap and fight more with our OH. Nick and I used to have such a peaceful serene relationship (apart from two major, major upsets) but now... we snap constantly and while he thinks it is mostly me, I have come to know an anger and impatience in him that I didn't suspect was there. A bit scary cause I have bad childhood memories of anger that led to rages. Not that Nick has rages but still it is scary. So yes babies do not help a relationship in some ways but certainly adds another dimension to it. Sending you lots of