any other over 35 first time mums?

[kosh]

sorry sorry I keep foregtting/missing comments!

sabrina - sorry I missed your bit re. the high chair collapsing! is it properly fixed now? i still haven;t decided which one i'm going to buy, so we are still feeding G in his M&B snug seat!

---ETA

angel, sorry I only just realised i got the threads mixed up. i deleted my comment

 

[Rowan75]

omg so much to catch up on! have been a =way a bit trying to write all the thank yous from the Christening - v late oops!

leeze oh bless you that must have been awful! glad you're both ok!

angel pics are Gorge! sounds fab!!

clio hope the shower gets sorted out!

re relationships - we must be wierd as we actually get on tonnes better - i dont know if its cos in the last few years we've had such a lot on (ltttc, fertility meds, losing babies, losing parents, losing 3 friends (2 to suicide one a heart attack at 35), motorway pile up, moving 4 times etc etc) but the weight has been lifted and were back to our easy going sunny optimistic selves which is a relief as I thought that was gone a bit...maybe this new baby is helping..watch Now Ive said that we'll be arguing all the time lol - even not having a kitchen is going ok - altho I DO miss my dishwasher!!

mARTHA SEEMS TO BE CUTTING BACK TO 3 BOTTLES A DAY...INTERESTING - EAR INFECTION SEEMS TO BE ON THE MEND PHEW! oo caps lock sorry!

my mat clothes arent fitting so need new ones - well second hand off ebay ofc lol

scan tmro v excited and a bit nervous tho weve been using the doppler every day so all seems fine at the mo

 

[AngelUK]

Oooh Rowan soo exciting for the scan tomorrow! Are you going to find out what you are having or will you stay team yellow? And if you are finding out, will you tell us? Pretty please?
As for what you went through before you had Martha... How dreadful! I am glad you are back into a more easy stage of life!

 

[kosh]

And kosh from what I have read on BnB it seems fairly normal that we all snap and fight more with our OH. Nick and I used to have such a peaceful serene relationship (apart from two major, major upsets) but now... we snap constantly and while he thinks it is mostly me, I have come to know an anger and impatience in him that I didn't suspect was there. A bit scary cause I have bad childhood memories of anger that led to rages. Not that Nick has rages but still it is scary. So yes babies do not help a relationship in some ways but certainly adds another dimension to it. Sending you lots of

thanks angel
our relationship was never serene unfortunately (latin types! ) but we would argue and make up quickly. i guess one of the reasons why we're arguing so much more now is because i used to be the patient/understandig one and now i have no patience whatsoever and do not let go things that upset/annoy me.

also i have a tendency to see things in black and white so when we argue i immediately think everything is wrong. i also have this probably naive idea of what a good relationship is, with no arguments or disagreements always in love and happy etc etc a bit childish I know!

 

[SabrinaKat]

My OH thinks the same way - anytime we have an argument, he wants a divorce! He also says I'm having a breakdown or there is something wrong with me because I want to argue all the time - in fact, we don't argue that much and it blows over in minutes, but he grew up in an environment where there was no arguments and I grew up in a more tempermental environment (parents divorced when I was younger, but both remarried to people much better suited for them!). Actually, his parents probably did argue, but behind closed doors and his mother has mental health issues, so it was a most artificial environment, actually. (His mother is in the hospital at the moment after a suicide attempt, sigh....), so I think my OH is sometimes over-dramatic as well....

am not feeling well today, me thinks a touch of flu and LO has been taking short-ish naps, so every time I get cozy under the electric blanket, LO is waking up! My OH suggested making spaghetti when he gets home, but it takes forever (and he doesn't multi-task, so just sits at the kitchen table while the food is cooking, whereas I do housework, put laundry out to dry, etc., and then he wonders why I complain that he doesn't do anything!

didn't mean a rant....oh, well...LO is a good mood, so will go play with him!

bye!

 

[Leeze]

Thanks ladies, for all your kind words and support. I'm still a bit numb today but Kia is more like her happy self which is the main thing. Angel, you asked how it happened. I was just walking along chatting to my friend and tripped up. There wasn't even really anything there to fall over. I was so exhausted from teething hell and multiple wake-ups over many nights and I think I just lost my footing on the edge of a paving stone. I had Kia in the Ergo sling so luckily I didn't drop her but I was wearing her on my front and I fell forwards and she hit her head. I was also worried I might have squashed her by falling on her but I did break my fall a little on my hands and knees. I keep thinking how it could have been a lot worse and it really scares me. I've started taking the buggy out with me everywhere now which is a bit of a pain because we live on the 2nd floor and it's quite difficult sometimes in London on buses and trains etc but her safety has to come first.

 

[Leeze]

Kosh and Sabrina, I personally think it's better in relationships if you can be open and honest with each other and this sometimes means disagreements or niggles. But, i'd much rather have that than pretending everything is ok or sulking etc. I also want Kia to grow up in a home where people talk through any issues or problems so that she feels able to do that when she's older. And that's sometimes going to mean that she'll see us disagreeing with each other. I'm not talking about screaming at each other or full-on rages, but trying to work through stuff which might mean getting a bit angry or upset at times. Difficult one to find the right balance though!

 

[Leeze]

Rowan, you guys have been through a lot. Wow. Glad your luck's changed now though. Sounds like the difficult times have brought you closer. Funnily enough, I felt really close to OH last night - I think going through tough things can make you appreciate what you've got and having someone to lean on is amazing. So, did you have difficulty conceiving Martha but you conceived number 2 quite quickly? That's amazing if so.

 

[Leeze]

Happy Birthday Georgina! Kizzy, does the time feel like it's gone quickly? I can't believe that Kia will be 1 in a month's time. Although in some ways it's gone quickly but in others it feels like a lifetime!

 

[kosh]

rowan - good luck in the scan tomorrow!!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

I have been reading all your post. Love you all!

Leeze and Sabrina : glad to hear you and Kia and finn are fine. I always fear the stairs when gong down with thiago!!!

Rowan: God bless you tomorrow! We want to know the sex of the baby!!!
And after you have the baby tell me how it is having two little ones so close in age. I am still debating about having another one !

Angel: love the boys outfit and pictures!! They are such a handsome pair!!! You will have a line at your door full of girls!!!! I wish I was a baby now !

Kizzy: happy birthday again for your cute pie georgina!!! Loved the Facebook pics!!

Clio: I am doing well. Trying to keep my hopes that my hubby will get a job soon. I think we found a church that we liked last sunday so hopefully thiago will be dedicated in the beggining of December. It is really cute how they do it. You write a letter and read in front of the members. My sister is coming on Friday ... So full house!!! So happy to have my family here!!

Catch up with you girls later.

Kosh:

 

[clio]

Oh my lord, this is a lot to catch up on and reply to!

Okay--Leeze--that sounds terrifying. How about you, are you okay?

SabrinaKat--F's experience is scary and alarming. I looked one day and realized that J's bouncy chair had lost a vital screw and we used the bouncer daily. Anything could have happened.

Rowan!--good luck tomorrow! You must be so excited! Yay!

Happy Birthday Georgina!

Angel--I thought I'd see Christening gowns! But these are much better! How sweet!

Re: spats with OHs--Both OH and I hate fighting. We will do anything to avoid it. So we usually have a very harmonious relationship with each other. But now we snip and snap at each other and that feeling of peace isn't there anymore. Do you think it's gone forever?

Sorry, that was a very maudlin way to end this post. Here--this is better:

 

[Leeze]

Clio, I personally think our relationships will be much improved when we get regular decent sleep! Then hopefully we'll have the time, energy and understanding for each other again! At the moment there's a lovely little person who demands so much from us that we haven't that much left to give. Not sure when this happens. Hopeful that at some point maybe around 2 or so that they sleep 12 hours most nights and can self-settle. Now, wouldn't that be amazing!

 

[Leeze]

Borboleta, we're still debating about whether or not to try for another. Time's not really on our side, is it? I think we will give it a go in the New Year. Partly I think it's a crazy idea but I also love the idea of giving Kia a sibling and love the idea of being pregnant again!

 

[kizzyt]

Good luck for the scan rowan xx

 

[SabrinaKat]

Rowan- crossing fingers for good news at your scan!
Barboleta - I worry every time I carry LO down the stairs!

As for trying for another....I think I'm too old (turn....45 next week!) and I know I would stress and worry and I think, what with the pre-eclampsia and the emergency c-section, it would be a tough pregnancy earlier (I made it to 34 wks without any serious problems, altho the high BP started in wk32). I am just so grateful that we have our little miracle baby (without IVF, without serious fertility meds (did eltroxin for underactive thyroid and metformin for mild PCOS) that I don't want to tempt fate! Unfortunately, in Ireland, it is very difficult to adopt after 40, so although we might consider in a year or two, we would have to do in the USA (and we'd like to adopt a little girl from China/overseas as unfortunately, there is a surplus of little girls....) ; we've also talked about egg donation (my OH suggested that I have my eggs taken, but I think we might spend loads of money on my own eggs without a good return)....but at the moment, I just want to sleep (ha!) and enjoy my LO without worrying about trying for another, adoption, etc.

Kizzy - happy belated b-day for G!

We had another minor incident yesterday, I was showing my OH how LO could sit up on the couch and he fell over...onto the table where the remote was -- HE is FINE!, but had a cry and has a red spot on his head. My OH said, 'oh, should we use some cream?' WTF? If anything, use an ice-pack! I bought one of those old fashioned ones when I was pregnant -- with a screw-top and you put on the spot? I also told my OH that we should start to expect bumps and bruises as he is getting more mobile, etc. Growl! I am taking that first aid course next week (the 13th), so will ask about bumps, bruises and using an ice-pack!

must run -- have to hoover the living before LO can play on his activity centre as the cats look like they had a party last night....

bye!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rowan75]

scan was fab yey!!! Baby very wriggly like martha was heres a pic

saw consultant afterwards (due to traumatic borth last time and 3rd degree tear etc) she was lovely *dh was looking after martha and had forgotten we had a bag of toys oops bless them! )

got referral for physio as she thinks i will get spd again and split stomach muscles - argh couldnt walk for 3 months last time nightmare if that happens again! lets hope shes wrong!

took 3 years ttc for martha - but we had 2 mmc in that time so its such a luxury this time!

 

[kosh]

brilliant news rowan and lovely scan picture!!
3 years TTC for martha, and how long for this one, like a month?
we had a mmc and an ectopic too, so i know the feeling when you go to for the scan and the LO is moving about there!
aww i want to be pregnant again, i must be absolutely mad

---eta
re. your previous post - can't beleive all the things you went through,

 

[kosh]

sabrina - i dread those accidents! did F bang his head?

question for mothers with crawling babies - did they learn on wooden floor or carpets?

 

[SabrinaKat]

no, B -- Finn didn't bang his head, just fell into the remote, cried for a few minutes and was fine. Today, after his bottles, we both stretched out on the couch for sitting up practice and he was fine (not scared or anything), but I made sure that he was as close to the corner of the couch (not anywhere near-ish the edge) as possible.

Me thinks teething devils are back as LO has been extra cranky today...sigh.

crawling: we're on a rug as LO is still unsteady on his 'own'.....

rowan - great news! we had an mc and two (one definite) chemicals before I got lucky with LO -- I hated scans, even when it was good news (always worried)....

growl - realised that I may run out of fabric before I finish the back of the quilt (very old Laura Ashley fabric).....grumble....

must run as LO is very cranky....(and so am I)...

bye!!!!!!!