any other over 35 first time mums?

[Leeze]

Angel, you asked me a few pages back whether I'm still going to use the sling. I've been taking it out plus the buggy so I've got ve choice of both. I have to admit, my shoulders and back feel a lot better just in a few days of using ve sling less. Also, if I'm using the sling now I've got the buggy to support myself with so I feel like it's less likely I'll fall over. I couldn't give up the sling completely because at the moment Kia's main way of napping is through feeding to sleep in the sling

 

[clio]

SabrinaKat--Oh, the number of times we've talked about it! Wouldn't it be nice if a marriage were that easy? And when I said "reassess" our relationship, I should perhaps have used a different word. It's more that when I learn something new because he kept it from me for so long, it affects the way I understand our history together. It's like a paradigm shift.

Leeze--I had all these visions of me carrying the boy everywhere. I have a Moby, a Becco and an Ergo. He's too big for the Moby now, the Becco is now one of his toys because he loves to suck on the straps, and I'm sending the Ergo to my sister for her baby. I simply couldn't do it; carrying him hurt my geriatric back too much!

And I'd feel exactly the same as you re: husbands and drinking. It's just so blatantly unfair, especially when it makes the division of labour even more uneven. How can OHs not see that?

Angel--Yaaay Dom!!! Congratulations Angel! And how cute is he? He is soooo beautiful!

And actually, J is not at all fond of that hat. I am! Hence, he wears it a lot. Even inside...

 

[clio]

...as a quasi-smoker, your OHs won't quit until they are ready...

...but maybe tell them no smoking at home?

"Quasi-smoker"--I wish! Nope, he's a full-on smoker. But he never smokes in the house, which is some small mercy. But I'm not fighting this battle ever again. It's not worth the anger it brings forth from both of us.

Angel, Eric lies, too. About big things that he's "embarrassed" about, but they're really just stuff he doesn't want to tell me about. And the lies are the type where I have to reassess the entire relationship because of this new piece of information (but it's never been about an affair, thank god). The last time it was the cigarettes. It hasn't happened often in the nine years we've been together, but it's happened enough to make me cynical about certain things, too. And make me feel betrayed, which, I've decided, is one of the worst feelings possible.

And again:

StormJet--I'd be totally mad, too. (Though I am incredibly impressed that you wash and vacuum your floors everyday!)

My husband and I officially take care of the kid 50/50, so it makes me so mad when I come down for the morning and find that OH hasn't fed J his breakfast (he and J are early risers. REALLY early risers). But by now it's time for J's nap, which means that he will then only get lunch. Seriously, how hard is it to give J breakfast? Dry Cheerios and an apple! That's it! His latest excuse? "I was busy trying to entertain the boy." WTF? Try feeding him; that takes up a good 45 minutes! It's like weaning him is entirely my job, including giving him ALL meals. Making them all I'm fine with. It was my choice to do BLW. But...arggghhh!!!

Wow. OH came off really badly in this post. But, I love him, so one deals, I guess.

Ps on the rare occasions I'm out I get texts saying 'what will I feed her?' - oh my goodness man open the cupboard its full of emergency jars and pouches or even chop up a banana and give her it with a yoghurt - or make an omlette (ok probably a step too far!)........... ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[SabrinaKat]

Does your OH discuss or mention your parenting style with others? I'm curious as my OH said that his co-workers were warning him that my style of getting LO to sleep will 'cause' problems later, e.g. I rock him in his bouncy chair, holding his hand and then transfer him to the basket/cot -- usually, he's asleep within 5-10 minutes, and he will self-settle (unless hungry or in teething pain) if he wakes up throughout the night with replacing the dummy, a stroke of the head, cheek, etc. If it works, then why criticise? I don't know why it bothers me that he's listening to others, but it does work most of the time (and I/we both can tell the signs of sleepiness before he even gets to the bouncy chair/sleeping bag on, etc)....any thoughts? would you be annoyed?

EDIT.....

didn't have a good night; OH took LO, but Finn woke up crying around 12am, so after a bottle and a cuddle (even though it was my OH's night, I had to go in and help as who can resist helping when LO is crying mama?), my OH thinks it's okay to let LO 'cry' (not CIO or CC), which I hate -- and at 7.15am, LO was up, crying again, so of course, no lie-in....in fact, OH is working today (Sat) and tomorrow (Sun), so I don't get much of a break....sigh, I love my LO, but with him having a slight cold and me having a touch of flu/cold, it's hard to be patient (not with LO, but with my OH)....

the cats are well....very comfortable sleeping on my bed (growl!)....

byeeeeeeeeee!

 

[clio]

SabrinaKat--I would imagine that as an historian, you know that nothing is monolithic, and neither is this aspect of my ostensibly "not good" marriage. But I think we're beating a dead horse and should now leave it alone.

My OH has a number of colleagues that had babies around the same time as us, and they instead have created a friendly competition about things. For example, my husband will walk in and instead of saying hello, will say: "Slept through the night!" to which the others will reply "B@stard!!!" Actually, I think the friendly competition is only about sleeping, because, really, what else is there? Otherwise, I know of no one who would criticize anyone's parenting style. Everyone knows that we're all just trying to survive. Can your husband kindly, yet in no uncertain terms tell them to shove it? Or just not talk about it at all?

Ironically, after what I just wrote, we are no longer STTN. Teething has put an end to that. But we are back down to one wake up for food, and then back down. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted...

 

[SabrinaKat]

I think my OH lacks...tact (and maybe me too at times)!

Things okay today; hope all others are okay? (no, not sttn either, but as a bonus, we have some lovely teeth buds, and that can only be good, right?)

best wishes to all!

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Leeze]

Hi ladies. 3am wake up here. Zzz. Sabrina, my OH definitely gets influenced by work colleagues and he'll come back to tell me that so and so has their baby on a strict routine or so and so had to work really hard to get their baby to have an earlier bedtime. I normally counteract it by telling him about a mummy friend whose baby wakes every 45 mins through the night or someone I know whose 18 month old has never slept more than 4 hours in a row. It's hard work though as I tend to feel criticised when he says this stuff whereas I think really he's got good intentions. Xx

 

[Leeze]

So, couple of BLW things I've tried after buying some nice minced lamb from the butchers. Firstly were mini lamb burgers. These were a great success on day 1 but got flung on the floor on day 2. I mixed a bit of the lamb mince with some beaten egg, a tiny squirt of tomato puree and a pinch of paprika then made it into tiny burger shapes and fried. I also made a mini cottage pie by frying up the mince and adding carrots, leeks and potatoes along with some baby stock cube, a bit of garlic, some paprika and some thyme. Then I split the mix in 2 - one half I made into croquettes and the other half I coarsely mashed to make shepherd's pie. She picked up some of the pie but then spat it out. The croquettes I made by pureeing half the mix, adding a bit of gram flour to thicken and then coating in flour, egg and breadcrumbs and lightly frying. I was really proud of these and OH and I even shared one and agreed they were pretty tasty. Kia picked one up and ate one little piece then broke the rest into small pieces and threw it all over the floor. Our best BLW 'success' though? We ordered Indian take-away tonight and Kia was putting out her hand and asking for some. Most of it seemed so salty so we tried her with a tiny bit of poppadum. She loved this, ate it very enthusiastically and put her hand out for more! After all my other efforts! I give up! X

 

[SabrinaKat]

Leeze -- we were having fish and chips last night and LO looked so sad and lonely, watching us.....

LO's cold seems to be better (only a slight cough) today, so am hopeful he's almost back to normal....

AND....we start the settling in tomorrow at the creche in preparation for my return to work on the 15th, thus beginning my last week as a SAHM/end of maternity leave (unless I get fired or quit due to my hatred of my immediate boss)....sigh....

bye!

 

[Borboleta]

Hello ladies,

Just popping in to say hello. I caught up with most of you.

Keep it strong if you either trying to quit or staying away from cigarettes. It is all worth it.

It is almost 4 am here and I cannot fall back asleep!! It is the day of my cousin's wedding so we have a big day in front of us, I am so stressed!! My sister is here But my dad just gave us a scare 2 days ago passing out in the kitchen!!! We went to the emergency room and he was dihadrated and has a urinary infection. But he is pre diabetic and it sounds like his blood sugar is all over the place which is causing the nausea and dizziness. We spent 6 hours at the emergency room and thiago did great! He is a sweet heart! Yesterday we went to the rehearsal dinner and he had at least 10 people holding him plus other people coming to say hi and he did not fussed once . Anyways , at least on the stress level my hubby had an interview on Friday and it sounds like he will have another interview this week with another company. I guess I am just worried about my dad and finances.

Oh, did your LOs sometimes don't want to eat the baby food very much? The past 2 or 3 days thiago has not been eating very well. He drinks his bottle, but not much of his food. I give him yogurt in the morning ( which he loved before), them I made some chicken, corn and peas purée ( not a huge fan but was eating some before) and for dinner I have some apple and blueberries . He had his mouth wide open before now he closes really tight and maybe has a couple of bites and them he does not wants it anymore. I thought that maybe he is going thru a growth spurt before and now he is not.

I will make sure to take lots of pictures today and I will post some of thiago's tuxedo.

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

were good - Martha seems to be over her ear infection fingers crossed! party today at a soft play yey! went for a family walk to the park yest (no football on so dh at home) and Martha went in a swing and also had a good trot around - it was an insight into what its going to be like when shes walking on her own - wanted to stop to look at leaves, flowers, dogs etc etc lovely tho!

your dhs do waaaay more than mine not complaining tho its just the way our set up works

got my first physio app through woop woop as my si joint and right hip are starting to hurt already - 15th my folks are going to look after martha - only the 3rd time theyve ever looked after her so hopefully itl go well!

re smoking - dhs dad died of lung cancer pretty young so theres no way he would smoke after that which is a relief altho Id much rather he'd not gone through that of course!

 

[tweety pie]

Hi ladies
I gave birth to twin girls 4 months ago and haven't had a period yet is this normal or should they have come back by now?
Please help i am so worried that i could be pregnant again.

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies
I gave birth to twin girls 4 months ago and haven't had a period yet is this normal or should they have come back by now?
Please help i am so worried that i could be pregnant again.

Did you breastfeed? My period took forever to come too. I think thiago was over 4 months when I finally got my period back. But I think it is different for every woman. Did you do a pregnancy test?

 

[Borboleta]

Angel: I forgot to answer your question about the church dedication. I am not catholic although majority of brazilians are as you mentioned. The church that we went is a non denominational church. And Clio we are not sure what we are going to write yet but they will explain it to us once we take the baptism class the week before the service.

 

[AngelUK]

Borboleta that picture of Thiago in your avvie is to die for! What a cutie he is! Love it!

 

[Leeze]

Borboleta, sorry to hear about your Dad. That sounds really stressful. Well done Thiago for managing 6 hours in the waiting room. Hope your Dad's ok now and everything went ok today. Kia also goes through phases of not eating. I think it's normal. It could be teething-related or maybe a bit of a sore tummy. Kia ate hardly any lunch today and then this evening wouldn't stop eating! X

 

[Leeze]

Sabrina, hope it all goes well with settling Finn at the creche. I've got a couple of friends who've gone back to work recently and it's really positive to hear from them how their LOs have settled. I've got another 5 weeks to go then I'll be doing the same. Today I feel ok about it but I'm pretty sure I'm going to find it difficult when the time comes. Big hugs xx

 

[tweety pie]

Hi ladies
I gave birth to twin girls 4 months ago and haven't had a period yet is this normal or should they have come back by now?
Please help i am so worried that i could be pregnant again.

Did you breastfeed? My period took forever to come too. I think thiago was over 4 months when I finally got my period back. But I think it is different for every woman. Did you do a pregnancy test?

No i am not breastfeeding and haven't done a test "bit scared".
Feel better knowing that it can take 4 months for it to come back.

 

[SabrinaKat]

morning, guys -- as I begin my last week as a SAHM....sob.

I've had baby duty all weekend as my OH worked both Saturday and Sunday, so am partly looking forward to the break of having LO in creche and partly going to miss all of our mummy+baby time, BUT it's only part-time, so we'll still have afternoons of mummy-baby time from 2 onwards as my OH gets home at 6pm.

and....should be finishing the quilt this week (had to take out a row of patchwork on the front, but will have enough to finish the back), so cross fingers! and will post a picture here....

and, happy thanksgiving (canada)!

bye!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Morning ladies - Sabrina hope settling in goes well! L is starting nursery at the end of Oct, then 2 days a week until I start work again in January. I need to know she is settled before I can go back to work and I have to go back. Had to send my return to work email today which was depressing, I felt physically sick saying 'I will be returning to work' - the time has flown in and I don't know how I'm going to leave my baby girl

Rowan my DH doesn't do much - well I don't think he does, I'm not ok with it though, it makes me mad and concerned about how things will go when I am back to work! I guess we will see when it happens!

L is having a morning nap, for how long who knows - hopefully a long time so I can get tidied up (she said on the computer)...


Ps tweety pie is there a chance you might be pregnant? I'd really want to know! I bled for 6 weeks after LO was born and then had my first period 2 weeks after that.