...as a quasi-smoker, your OHs won't quit until they are ready...
...but maybe tell them no smoking at home?
"Quasi-smoker"--I wish! Nope, he's a full-on smoker. But he never smokes in the house, which is some small mercy. But I'm not fighting this battle ever again. It's not worth the anger it brings forth from both of us.
Angel, Eric lies, too. About big things that he's "embarrassed" about, but they're really just stuff he doesn't want to tell me about. And the lies are the type where I have to reassess the entire relationship because of this new piece of information (but it's never been about an affair, thank god). The last time it was the cigarettes. It hasn't happened often in the nine years we've been together, but it's happened enough to make me cynical about certain things, too. And make me feel betrayed, which, I've decided, is one of the worst feelings possible.
And again:
StormJet--I'd be totally mad, too.

(Though I am incredibly impressed that you wash and vacuum your floors everyday!)
My husband and I officially take care of the kid 50/50, so it makes me so mad when I come down for the morning and find that OH hasn't fed J his breakfast (he and J are early risers. REALLY early risers). But by now it's time for J's nap, which means that he will then only get lunch. Seriously, how hard is it to give J breakfast? Dry Cheerios and an apple! That's it! His latest excuse? "I was busy trying to entertain the boy." WTF? Try feeding him; that takes up a good 45 minutes! It's like weaning him is entirely my job, including giving him ALL meals. Making them all I'm fine with. It was my choice to do BLW. But...arggghhh!!!
Wow. OH came off really badly in this post. But, I love him, so one deals, I guess.