Ugh totally understand.
I am just looking forward to getting AF so I can get onto the next cycle and do better next time around. This last cycle we only BDed twice the whole cycle--we were just exhausted and sort of overwhelmed by life stressors and couldn't take it as seriously as we should. I guess that's okay, a lot of people sort of take a break for a cycle or two. But we are feeling very serious about next month. Last night was the first time DH brought up baby #3. I think he is scared to get attached, but oddly he is the one who feels very confident it's going to happen.
I, on the other hand, am beginning to believe it won't and that I may have fibroids or tubal blockage. I can't think of any other explanation for why we conceived DD and DS both on cycle #1 and then all of the sudden I can't conceive after 4 cycles. I know a lot of people try for sooooo much longer than me and I don't mean to compare myself to them. I am just comparing myself to my former self, where I used to get pregnant if DH sneezed. To me, if I don't get pregnant right away, something is wrong, know what I mean?
DH said "if it's a boy, I want to name him..." and my heart skipped a beat because I was like, if he is talking about it, maybe it's because he is intuiting deep down that it will happen soon.