Anyone LTTTC Number One?

[Feisty Fidget]

Urchin I can't help but smile everytime I read something about your little peas affecting your body, I really am pleased as punch!

Greek I regularly work myself up over the conundrum of adoption vs invasive ttc. I think until it is something that is absolutely final for us, I will not really be able to give it the open thought it really needs. For me it really is a last resort, I have regular nightmares about everything being hunky until the dreaded teens and then the whole scenario of the child accusing me of being a bad mum and how they would have been better off with bio mum etc, not sure I could handle it Plus not sure how I would react to them planning to find bio Mum, as I had been separated for 20 years from my bio father I would have to let them seek their parents out but I know I would feel destroyed at the same time.

Well valentines for me today! Am showered and lazing in my dressing gown after enjoying a scrummy breakfast of gluten free ginger and chocolate cookies and a cup of tea. Am making DH drive the smart for the first time today (he is on a provisional license) and then we are off to Waitrose to see if they have anything nice for a romantic dinner (hopefully dine in for £10 )

 

[urchin]

Hi MrsH - scan is 27th Feb - so 9 more sleeps!

greekgirl - tbh people that haven't been there don't have a clue about the decision they would make if they ever had to - none of us do until we are faced with it...so take her opinion as what it is; a load of hot air! (and we all know what they say about opinions!)

Have a lovely V-Day FF ... hope you get lots of pampering and smoochery!

 

[MrsHowley81]

Wow Urchin, it is going nice and quick now, I bet you can't wait...... but I am sure you are also very nervous all at the same time. I can't imagine what it must be like, It must also be hard not wanting to indulge and go shopping, I find that hard now and I am nowhere near being preggo yet!
FF I hope you enjoy you v/weekend, I love romance.
I to also thought adoption would be a last resort and the thought of it used to make me feel sick, I also thought I would be able to conceive naturally (I was wrong) but adoption seems to be a more and more realistic option for me

 

[pinkfee]

Wannabe ignore that silly agency woman, and I can't understand why she bothered to call you back if your resume was that awful?!? Times are crap at the moment, but a uni degree will only ever be a good thing to have on your resume... keep strong hun and that perfect job will be out there for you. I remember how difficult it is job hunting, I was made redundant before I got my current job and its soul destroying applying and applying and getting no where. and that on top of Ltttc i can totally understand why your feeling poo... Big and take more of those gorgeous walks, definitely good for the heart and the head.

Mrs H i'm also supposed to be today but the fact i'm on bnb shows you how enthusiastic i am about it!!

FF - have a fab belated V day
VJ - good luck
Greekgirl - sorry the got you

 

[greekgirl]

hey i am in no way "knocking" adoption. it is as of now something that we won't be dealing with because we believe it is too early. my friend came at me with this argument: "why do you want to 'carry' your baby for 9 months if you can't concieve naturally? just so it can look like you?" and it really got to me.
then she threw at me something along the lines of won't you love your adopted baby as your own?
i felt like i was being attacked for wanting to concieve and birth my own.
of course i would love the baby because it would be OUR baby! you don't go to an adoption agency and apply for a child and think hmmm i just want a baby. babies are fun and cute - obviously you get one because you have so much love to give and because you want to extend your family and be parents.
sorry for my rant.
i already did this on my ttc journal.
we will continue trying for a while before we apply to adopt. we'll cross that bridge IF we get there.

 

[MrsHowley81]

Greek, Your friend clearly has no concept at all, just because you can't conceive naturally does not mean you lose the right to have you OWN baby, it really angers me when people think just because you can't conceive naturally means you lose the right to experience pregnancy, I have a friend who adopted and she is extremely happy but she still finds it hard to deal with that she will never experience this. So of course we must try everything we can so we can have that experience before we even have to consider adoption, but at least if we do have to adopt we know we have tried everything we possibly can xx

 

[urchin]

like I said - your friend has no idea! (I hope you didn't think I was knocking you gg, cuz I absolutely wasn't )

I am unable to use my own eggs - so I am not passing on my genetic material to my child - but so what? Does that mean I will get nothing from knitting my own baby for 9 months???

I would also never knock adoption - but really it isn't the same as carrying your child yourself. Now it might have been an option that I would have needed to consider - but I would much rather carry my child and spend those first few precious months with him or her, than adopt a child who was older (even if we were only talking a year or so)

 

[greekgirl]

no, i didn't think anyone was knocking adoption. it was me defending me there...
of course it's not the same to adopt though she believes it is for some reason...
how is the only difference wheather it looks like you or not?
and no, she doesn't understand what it's like to be trying because she never has and she has made it clear over the years that she doesn't want kids or a marriage. though lately she seems to be talking about having to get a few procedures done if she ever wants to have kids- so i guess all our mutual friends getting married and pregnant is starting to get to her... oh yeah, by the way another friend is having her baby this week. i am actually very excited for them. and jealous.
i am jealous of all my pregnant friends. it a friendly way. but jealous.

i wish i had never had this discussion with her -my friend- because now i think she made up her mind about me by putting words in my mouth all night drawing her own conclusions and i am affraid to bring it up again.

 

[wannabeprego]

Sorry my nook is acting up. Updates on our ltttc: we are going to do iui this month with clomid 150 mg and ovidrel. Im excited and hoping it takes. Fingers crossed.

Thank you for the kind words and Good luck with your IUI!!! That is very exciting!!! I hope you can get your BFP!!!

 

[wannabeprego]

wannabe - that looks like a fab place to walk ... and think yourself lucky that it's only horse poo that your dog eats - one of mine eats dog poo. On Thursday, after indulging his habit, he then threw up all over the sitting room floor - just as we had sat down to tea

now THAT was gross!

Ewww... OMG.. now that is gross for sure!!! I am now considering myself lucky!!!! LOL....

 

[wannabeprego]

@Greekgirl, I am so sorry that the got you!!! big hugs to you hun!! I am sometimes guarded about telling people about our LTTC problems, for the most part only a few of my family members know and a few close friends know. I have found that with friends it isnt always a good conversation though, depending on where they are in their lives. Like one of my friends that is the same age as me and in his 30's, he still lives at home with his mother and hasnt even had a real relationship that I know of, and he hasnt even thought about having kids yet, so talking to him about it is not a good idea, since he just doesnt get it... LTTC has actually made me pull away from a few of my friends because alot of the time I am an emotional wreck and they dont understand what is wrong with me.. It is hard though hun... sometimes LTTC can feel so lonely so thank goodness that we have this group of wonderful girls to help us through this!!!

@Chels, LOL @ your dog rolling in the poop... Dogs are so sweet but can be so gross at the same time!!!LOL...

 

[wannabeprego]

VJ Good Luck
Greek It is always hard to judge who will be understanding, and to be honest no one will unless they have been through it, I am a firm believer of not keeping it a secret and also if someone does say something stupid then tell them, don't let them make you feel bad.
Wannabe That lake does sound immense, my dog would love it
Urchin when is your scan I missed that bit?

AFM I was so looking forward to the weekend, but I have a stinking cold (occupational hazard) and my hubby got a lot of shouts last night (he is a fireman) so despite going to bed early to shift the cold, I still didn't get any extra sleep, so I am just going to stay home and do the house work etc how exciting is my life!!!

I hope you feel better soon!!!

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/maiCEFC7117.gif

 

[wannabeprego]

Wannabe ignore that silly agency woman, and I can't understand why she bothered to call you back if your resume was that awful?!? Times are crap at the moment, but a uni degree will only ever be a good thing to have on your resume... keep strong hun and that perfect job will be out there for you. I remember how difficult it is job hunting, I was made redundant before I got my current job and its soul destroying applying and applying and getting no where. and that on top of Ltttc i can totally understand why your feeling poo... Big and take more of those gorgeous walks, definitely good for the heart and the head.

Mrs H i'm also supposed to be today but the fact i'm on bnb shows you how enthusiastic i am about it!!

FF - have a fab belated V day
VJ - good luck
Greekgirl - sorry the got you

Thank you so much for the kind words and positive encouragement!!!

I honestly dont think that the lady read my resume because when I mentioned that the reason why I left my last job listed on my resume it was because it was a temporary job through a staffing agency she said ...."What, where on your resume does it say that??" And I of course told here it was the first bullet listed under the name of the job... so she obviously didnt bother reading my resume before she called... All I can say about the lady is thank you for wasting my time and making me upset...sigh... thinking back on it I wish i had told her off...but I know that wouldnt of made things any better...LOL... I am a bad girl... I am over this entire episode today though and I am feeling much better!! This isnt the first time that I had a bad experience with a staffing agency though, and I usually prefer to avoid working with them and just look for direct hire with a company because of things like just happened to me...

Yeah, hiking outdoors and working out in general is a great stress reliver for me... When I am feeling really anxious it calms me right down... It is better than Xanax...

 

[Feisty Fidget]

GreekGirl there do seem to be a group of people out there that believe if you admit to wanting a child of your own that you carry over an adopted child you are instantly a bad person. We had similar to this when I stupidly announced a few years ago that if it ever came down to adoption I would consider looking further afield like perhaps china.

Oh god what a mistake it was to mention this I was instantly made to feel evil as there are so many children needing adoption over in the UK (obviously as opposed to China where many baby girls are handed over due to the one child policy and the preference for boys). When I made my strong feelings clear (a child growing up in care in the UK has a substantially greater life then that of a child in China) I was then thought of as selfish or that I was condoning the sometimes shocking treatment that takes place of UK care facilities

The problem with opinions is that everyone has one but not all people can accept/agree with others.

 

[wannabeprego]

hey i am in no way "knocking" adoption. it is as of now something that we won't be dealing with because we believe it is too early. my friend came at me with this argument: "why do you want to 'carry' your baby for 9 months if you can't concieve naturally? just so it can look like you?" and it really got to me.
then she threw at me something along the lines of won't you love your adopted baby as your own?
i felt like i was being attacked for wanting to concieve and birth my own.
of course i would love the baby because it would be OUR baby! you don't go to an adoption agency and apply for a child and think hmmm i just want a baby. babies are fun and cute - obviously you get one because you have so much love to give and because you want to extend your family and be parents.
sorry for my rant.
i already did this on my ttc journal.
we will continue trying for a while before we apply to adopt. we'll cross that bridge IF we get there.

First off your friend needs to take a step back and realize that this is a choice completly up to you and your husband.. no one else can tell you what you should do when it comes to having a family!! Infertility treatments are a blessing and thank goodness for modern medicine because I know that I am most likely going to have to do IUI to have a baby with my DH due to his low sperm count. So why wouldnt women take advantage of the options we have offered to us??? We only get one life to live so I think that we should make the most of it!!! Ultimatley I know that personally i would do anything within my power to get pregnant with the help of infertility treatments. I dont want to be 60 years old looking back on my life wondering, "what if" or have any regrets.. so long story short you do what you think is best hun and dont let anyone else tell you what you should do!!!

My brother and his wife are in their mid 40's now, and they had to go through multiple IVF's to have their first daughter, my brother had slow swimmers and his wife had fertility problems, she wasnt ovulating on her own and her diet over the years wasnt good enough so her fertility had suffered, so it was a miracle when they had their daughter who is now in kindergarden, but the bottom line is that they did have success... They tried IVF for a second child but it failed several times and they decided to do adoption.. Of course adoption here in the states is expensive if you want a new born baby. I know couples that have paid between 20k to 40k for a child. Luckily my brother and his wife had some land that they sold to pay for adoption and they waited for 2 years for a pregnant mom to select them to get their second daughter. So for them it was truly a blessing... They were able to get their baby when she was only 2 days old. My sister in law ended up having a hysterectomy recently so she of course ended up having more problems with herfertility than meets the eye...

So adoption here in the states is even a challenge and many people cant even afford it and the waiting lists are long so it isnt necessarily any easier than going through with fertility treatments, and in my case I doubt if I could ever afford adoption.... Although I know you are overseas so things could be very different where you are....

 

[wannabeprego]

sorry about all of my posts girls..... This thread is so busy that I am having a hard time keeping up...LOL... when I wake up in the morning there are like 3 new pages for me to read....LOL... I am sorry if I missed anyone in my posts!!! I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!!!

 

[need babydust]

Ok I have been trying to conceive for 11 years this year
I feel like giving up but stupidly every month I get my hopes up
Ever scince I met my husband 11 years ago I wanted his baby the issue
Is he has a v low count well anyway this month I had a bit of spotting a week
After ovulation but after vigarous sex sorry tmi then the next day
There was brown discharge on my pj bottoms sorry again tmi
Now for the past few days my cervix feels alot softer and higher up
In previous cycles at this stage it was alot harder maybe I am
Imaging things again like I do everymonth..also I am very cramps
So who knows I feel so frustrated just really want a positive
Test its so horrible keep seeing one line on a test every month anyone
Else been trying this long it's killing me I just want to be a mum
There is so many people who don't deserve kids why me? Also my much
Younger sister is pregnant with her second baby and
I can't help but feel jealous ...baby dust to you all I hope
Every single one of you gets a big fat positive

 

[MrsHowley81]

Welcome needBD, So sorry to hear you have been struggling for so many years, have you sought medical help at all? It is hard not to be jealous and it is perfectly normal to feel like this even about your own sister, I had to endure my SIL's pregnancy during my hardest times and I hated how I felt towards her, and I judged every little thing she did because all I could think was I wouldn't do that, I would not risk my unborn babies life in the slightest way. And it isn't fair that unsuitable people can get pregnant so easy and yet us hard working, married, own homing, responsible adults cannot get pregnant for love nor money.
Also hun I really don't know if you are preggo this month, I really wish I had a big fat crystal ball for us all, all we can do is hold your hand if AF arrives and clap our hands and celebrate if you do get your BFP, cos at least we all understand and we will not judge you that is for sure and we will all definitely give our opinion and be honest with you xx

 

[MrsHowley81]

Sorry I just noticed how I shortened your name and now it looks like you need sex lol x

 

[urchin]

lol MrsH