Anyone LTTTC Number One?

[MrsHowley81]

Ash can you just imagine what it will be like when it is an actual embryo normal fertile myrtles surely can't appreciate it in the same way surely. Speaking of which we were reading the paper in the waiting room today and there was a picture of that Stacey Solomon girl smoking, for god sake what a selfish cow, she may as well just add a load of junk food and coffee in for good measure, but of course she will have a healthy beautiful baby and continue to have more I am sure grrr

 

[ashknowsbest]

it is true! It's like when I watch that show teen mom. It makes me sick that these teenagers were able to get pregnant on their first time having sex EVER and I'm sitting here and I've probably BDed like a million times and I still have yet to have a baby! And when I do get pregnant it's not even going to be through enjoyable sex because I have to have IUI or something! How ridiculous! I watch the real housewives of atlanta and it's like that girl kim on there, she was pregnant and still smoked sometimes, its like ... jeeze!!!

 

[MrsHowley81]

I know it boils my blood, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't drink coffee, I eat really healthy and make sure I have my 5 a day and I have to have IVF and yet these people are drinking, smoking and not really giving a damn and they can get pregnant when ever they want to, I think my pregnancy envy is ultra sensitive today xx

 

[ashknowsbest]

it's okay to have sensitive pregnancy envy today! I have days like that, all the time actually! Omg, to make matters worse, I feel like the universe always throws it in my face! So I got on the elevator to go downstairs yesterday with my OH and there's this pregnant lady like ... so pregnant she was about to burst! standing there, and I'm like way to go universe, just throw it in my face! Terrible! Makes me so jealous, I hate it! Buuuut hopefully my IUI worked this time and I will get that awaited BFP!

 

[MrsHowley81]

I know what you mean today there seems to be a lot of people on Facebook posting pictures of their babies, there was one which made me feel quite sad as she had an 11 pound baby and he was really fat and it just made me feel so so sad, and all her status updates were about all the shit food she was eating xx

 

[ashknowsbest]

try not to be too sad! We're all here in this together and we all will get there =D Especially since you now started your IVF journey! It really is tough though having to go through all of that. I never EVER thought I would have to have IUI ... ok well let me be honest ... I knew all along I was going to have trouble having children .. my OH and my mother kept telling me I was crazy and this that and the other and turns out I am having issues. I just had a feeling because I had a couple of accidents growing up where the raincoat broke , etc. and really I should have gotten pregnant and didn't and then my mother had me at 18 but never was able to have children ever again (I call myself her angel baby) and so I just had a feeling and I was write. Everyday I wish I was wrong and that my OH and my mother were right but that's just not how it worked out ...

Now I have to be on all of this medication and be mean to my OH for no reason ... reasons that I can't even control and it all just sucks! Buuut, like I said we're in it together, all of us! And you're starting IVF and the odds for you are GREAT and it will happen and when it does you will love your baby even more than anything in the world because it was such a long journey to get him/her!

 

[fisher640]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've not been around as much. We took a total and complete break this month. No temping, no charting, no OPKs, no . <- No seriously. (I also haven't been on B&B as much) I have to say it was really nice. My friend had a baby 2 days ago, and it was so nice to not be wondering if I'm finally pregnant while she's got her new baby.

CD1 here.

I called the clinic this morning and we're all set to go with Clomid 50 next month (April) + IUI. It says in their pamphlet they only up the dose if you don't ovulate, so I don't imagine since I'm ovulating without difficulty without clomid that that would change. I'll also have bloodwork and an ultrasound to monitor during the first month with clomid.

I'm trying this month very hard to take steps so that I don't have as much to worry about next month while we're doing the medicated cycle. It's my last semester of grad school so my goals are (and I'm on track so far) is to get as close to 100% as humanly possible of ALL of my coursework complete by the end of March so that I can hopefully be less stressed during April for our 1st medicated cycle.

I'm open to suggestions of what else I should do to help?

 

[10yearsttc]

Wow - I've missed a lot, this is an active thread and thank you all so much for your big welcome!

You guys are making me laugh so much... The "Witch", and "Dildo Cam" - hilarious.

I am so new to this IVF thingy - apparently my 6 follicles are ready for harvest on Tuesday, so I will be at the clinic in 3.5 days and who knows what happens. I'll just go along with it. I don't even know if 6 follicles is that good...!

Wishng you all the luck I can send you

 

[greekgirl]

six follicles is plenty i am sure. how great? good luck!

i am feeling pretty depressed today. i woke up to light spotting... it's a week before my expected period (my ticker is a little off) and this happened for the first time last month so i guess it's a new disappointment sign.
i spent the morning crying and wondering what we are doing wrong while getting my things ready for my short trip to athens tonight.
maybe seeing my parents will distract me. i just hope i don't break down and start crying again. i haven't seen them since christmas and everytime i mention my not getting pregnant my mom keeps saying to pray and it will happen in time. i am sick and tired of waiting for a miracle. yeah, my woe is me is kicking in fast.
sorry for the length.

 

[10yearsttc]

I'm really sorry for your story. Did your FS/RE say anything wrong that prevents you from conceiving? Or are u classified under the Unexplained category?

I am also a very LTTCer. TTC for 3 years, NTNP much longer and never had that BFP. Unfortunately, I can't do IVF

I hope the ICSI works for u. It just worked for my TTC buddy 2 months ago so don't give up yet.

Thanks Lian... nice of you to take the trouble to send your reply. Both hubby and I test normal, in everything other than I am nearly 41 (shame about that!)

About to have follicles harvested or whatever it is they do.. then implantation a few days after that I guess. I've already decided I don't want to continue IVF if this doesn't work, it's a rollercoaster and I've had my ride now.

I'll keep reading your posts.... !

 

[Feisty Fidget]

I have noticed that we all seem to have cycles of most of us finding it tougher then usual on this hellish rollercoaster. I wonder if it is like Nuns living together having a synched cycle? Maybe our shared experience makes us sensitive to each others moods and so when a few of us are having a tough time we all start experiencing it?

Well I broke down after the evil mare lodged herself in full residence and started looking at private IVF It shouldn't be crossing my mind as 3k for one shot only is a huge sum and I know that the NHS will refuse to let me have a round with them if I have had private before (one poor girl wrote that she had a MMC after private IVF and because NHS classed it as successful she wasn't eligible for treatment with them!). So have decided that private IVF WILL wait until the NHS one but as I have 4 years to fill before that I am going to work hard to get our finances in order (we are racking up debt as DH works for Game and they may be about to go into administration so all his hours have been cut ) and then once we are actually managing to achieve some degree of disposable income at the end of the month (Possibly late July/August ) I will start with accupuncture and possibly reflexology. Western medicine seems to be turning it's back on me and so I am going to look further afield.

Forgot to add that I am back on the clomid as of today Not looking forward to it as November's round had me breakdown in a car park just because I couldn't find a space! Am also trying to get my weight down to 112 lbs for optimum BMI results - am on a break from dieting at the moment as needed to comfort eat

 

[urchin]

Just a thought FF - how will the NHS know you have had a private go at IVF if you don't tell them?

Especially if you do your scans private - just tell your clinic not to contact your GP

What they don't know won't hurt them!

 

[lian_83]

HELP! I'm waiting for O but instead I thinking I'm getting AF. My cycles are slightly longer than average, I usually ovulate around CD17-23. Now, I'm CD19 and I have very light bleeding and dizzy.

For 3 years I've been TTC, this has NEVER happened ever! If anyone could spare some minutes to look at my charts, I'll be so grateful. I don't know what is going on with my body.

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Lian I think you have just had a surge/drop in hormones that is causing a bit of a bleed, don't sweat it hun and keep at the testing!

Urchin that is sneaky I do like the idea of trying to play the NHS for fools but we could thoroughly come unstuck if the Private clinic slipped up even once and forwarded on any documentation to GP/Hospital. I did loosely discuss having IVF private abroad with DH as no-way NHS would find out but he wasn't keen

 

[MrsHowley81]

Also FF have you even considered that 1 round of private could actually work, when I asked my FS yesterday she did say we have a 50% chance of success once she had made my insides more accommodating so much higher than I thought it would be, You would not need to have the NHS round then, you could also egg share to make it a lot cheaper, to be honest I am not sure I could wait another 4 years, it must be at least worth looking into xx

 

[urchin]

Data Protection Act says they can't disclose your information unless you sign a document to authorise it ... so if they did 'slip-up' you could claim biiiig damages against them!

But going abroad would definitely be a viable option - there is no way the news would get back home unless you brought it yourselves ....

 

[wannabeprego]

Hi girls,

Sorry I havent been around much, my new job has been keeping me super busy and when I do get home from work in the afternoons alot of the time I am too tired to post on here. I am trying to silently stalk and keep up with you lovely girls best as I can even though I dont always have time to comment.

A warm welcome to all of the new girls!!!

To be honest I dont hardly ever think about TTC at all much these days, I didnt use any OPKs at all this month. Even though me and DH did have during my fertile window, since I ususally OV pretty regular each month I kind of already know when I will be OV'ing for the most part. But until I am ready to do the surgery I think I am going to just focus on work and saving as much money as I can for my eventual surgery and IUI costs. I did have a crazy dream that I got this blazing dark pink BFP and I broke down and tested but of course I only saw a faint line, which I of course dont trust since I always have a tendency to get those annoying faint lines, I dont think it means anything at all though since it is early still and it was one of the crap dollar store tests.

Some how for now i have managed to shut off my desires to have a baby.. I think i just got tired of being depressed and the emotional strain that is involved with LTTC. For now I have somehow found a way to be alright with not having a baby. Work has been keeping me busy so it makes it alot easier to do than when I wasnt working and had more time on my hands to obsess. Plus for the most part I like my job and I am still in a learning phase so it keeps my mind busy. I have been successfully recruiting new hires and had several get hired on with the company and I have an upcoming interview scheduled for a potential new hire next week and some resumes and samples of work coming in as well hopefully this coming week. So things are rolling along really great, and I think my coworker and I will be able to reach our goal of getting 11 new hires on with the company by the end of the month.

I think I am doing a pretty good job and that I might just have a natural talent for recruting. I am feeling good about it because recruting was always an area of HR that I wanted to try working in and if I stay at this company for a few years and get some good recuriting work experience I can most likely move onto a bigger staffing agency that would pay even higher wages down the road. It is great work experience for my BA degree in the field of HR management as well. So I am finally feeling like things in my life are getting better than they have been in a really long time. Things have been very stressful for me and DH since we moved to the new state and house that we live in now for about 1 year and 8 plus months. I am glad to finally be feeling better about our finances and happier for the first time in a long time.

I am now somehow able to tolerate the endless pregnancy announcements and new born baby pics on my FB, and even my coworker's huge baby belly that I see every day doesnt even phase me anymore. Somehow I have accepted my situation for what it is for the time being, and by making sure I save up my $$ I will be preparing to jump back on the emotional roller coaster with the surgery and infertility treatments when I am ready to give a go all over again in the future.

I hope that all of you lovely girls are having a great weekend!! Good luck and baby dust to all of the IUI girls that are in their 2WW right now and to everyone else waiting on the to arrive... Fingers crossed that the stays away!!!


https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/2464246wtqey44u15.gif

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Oh Wannabe I was only thinking about you earlier today! I am glad that you are in a good emotional place right now

I don't think I can wait 4 years either - found a new batch of wrinkles this afternoon which is hammering home the fact that I am not getting any younger and if I want more then one child then perhaps we should get a move on but after spending the afternoon with DH very pregnant cousin (3 weeks until she pops) I have realised that I am not actually that old as she is starting her family early 30s and to me looking at her she doesn't seem that old, it is just so flipping confusing

Urchin your point does sound very intriguing, basically if the clinic screwed up we would be able to sue for enough money for the rounds of IVF that we would have been entitled to anyway. We discussed it earlier and we have a choice of Tokyo next year or IVF and to be completely honest I am so worried it will fail and I will be distraught over emotional battle and the sheer scale of money it has cost for basically nothing that I have decided on our trip to Tokyo first (if we ever get our finances sorted ) and then start saving for IVF.

 

[urchin]

Hey Wannabe - good to see you chikkie, and very glad that the job is going well for you. Sounds like you have fallen on your feet

FF - you gotta do what's right for you ... and Tokyo does sound rather tempting

 

[Feisty Fidget]

If the success rate was higher then 50% then I would probably go for the IVF but as I said to DH to pick IVF over Tokyo, pay out all the money, go through all the emotional drama of IVF and to then have an unsuccessful round I just know that I would be heart broken and always wishing I had done Tokyo first. That said I may squeeze in a private IUI before we go