Anyone LTTTC Number One?

[Pnutsprincess]

Hey Ladies,
How are you all doing?

 

[pbl_ge]

Eswemba, I agree with you. Secondary infertility is doubtless painful, too, but I don't think it's the same. Shame on that mom for dismissing your feelings, especially when she has two!

If you really want to make moms angry, try telling them that miscarriages are more painful and difficult (emotionally) when you have never had a child before. That's a good way to make friends!

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Another thing that bothers me (a bit controversial.. sorry if anyone disagrees...) is people who have miscarriages and then healthy pregnancies straight away after who think that means they can sympathize with LTTTC... its so different!

I have a friend who had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, and then got pregnant a month later. She still goes on about poor her and her miscarriage... and I have another friend who just started TTC and had one miscarriage the second month trying... and yes, she thinks she has it worse than anyone else...she tells me at least I never had a proper miscarriage.. thanks! I know it must be heartbreaking, but it's a sign that things are working... and they can't imagine what's it's like to be doing everything right and not get even a hint of a BFP.

Miscarriages are difficult, but normal (within reason) I feel like yelling at them, "You can get pregnant! Quickly, easily... it doesn't compare!"...

Please note I'm specifically talking about one-off miscarriages that happen to a high percentage of women, and not repeat miscarriages/ miscarriages during LTTTC etc... I can't imagine what that's like... I try not to think about it.

Basically, I think it's wise for people to be very sensitive to people in other situations other than the ones they are in, and not to try and compare difficulties... everyone had their own journey and everyone is sensitive to different things.

 

[J_Lynn]

I will stop talking to people who give me the old song and dance about how it's so horrible for them trying to get pregnant again. I've actually had someone tell me that it's different because after you've had one, you actually know what you're missing. That made me so mad I called her an unthoughtful c-u-next-tuesday and told her to lose my number. Walked off and haven't spoken to her since. The way she said it was with such a horrible tone I just pictured myself slapping her. UGH. So yeah, no .... secondary infertility is nothing like what we go through TTC#1. There is so much more psychological and emotional connections to us not being able to get pregnant. It's a huge issue - just wanting another child can't be the same thing. You already have one. You know what it's like to feed and grow that special being inside you - so see and feel your body change daily, to care and nurture the life of another human and to have a connection with someone to intimate that there are no words to describe it. If you can tell me that wanting that a 2nd time is the same as wanting it for the first, I will call you a liar until the last breath is taken from my body. I don't feel bad for people who are TTC #2, or 3, or 4, or 5, or 12. And I don't feel bad for it either. Because at least they've had one.

 

[pbl_ge]

Ella--YES!!!!! I'm not sure how ltttc with no bfp compares to repeat mc. All I know is that my flavor of quick mc (in wrong place--less hopeful) and then reaching the would have been due date with no bfp sucks (but I don't think worse than the others). Perhaps we can compare the three and see which sucks the most. Just kidding.

JLynn That woman is an idiot. Glad she got properly told off.

 

[ESwemba84]

Ella, I agree! Miscarriages are a somewhat common thing, especially for first pregnancies......so the ability to become pregnant within a few months after is not LTTTC. It is normal, and lucky as hell.

JLynn, hahahaha! What an idiot. I can't believe people are that stupid to really think that having a MC after already having kids is worse. Excuse me, but I know exactly what I'm missing and what was taken from me. I don't feel bad for people who are having trouble conceiving anything more than #2. If I have one child my entire life because that's all my body is capable of creating, I'm going to be just peachy with that, and be grateful I did have that one!

 

[J_Lynn]

Exactly! I just want one .... you will never hear me complaining and raising all kinds of hell because I can't have a 2nd. I will be THRILLED just to have one. I would donate a flippin kidney to have one. Just one. I would never drink another Dr Pepper again, I would sell my horses, I would trade off my car ... anything

 

[Myshelsong]

I love you guys!!!

I have no sympathy or anything like that for anyone TTC#2 and having a hic-up in the plan and it taking longer than they would like.

My cousin is having a really hard time conceiving her second and I do feel for her becuase it has been two years and honestly doing that for two years is upsetting, but come the F# bomb on, you have a child. Just enjoy the time you have with him and your step children. I know it seems unfair that you of all people are only allowed one child but what about me? Huh? Never had a BFP, never been close to being pregnant. It almost makes me want to jump up and scream "How Dare You!" when we talk but I cant, I can only say "yeah i know it does suck, how horrible for you."

But honestly I think the worst thing possible - and this could be because it is my worst fear - is to be a chronic miscarrier. The ladies that have had multiple and are still trying for #1. For all of you women that experience this my heart and prayers go out for you. Especially since I have NEVER had a BFP, if I miscarried I don’t know what I would do beyond crawl into a hole and die.

 

[J_Lynn]

My friend had AT LEAST 12 miscarriages before she finally got pregnant - her and her husband adopted twins then the day they signed the adoption papers to make it 100% official, she found out she was pregnant. She's had 3 more children, and just 2 months ago had a stillborn angel at 34 weeks.

SHE is the type of woman my heart breaks for. Even if I never have a BFP, I would take a life-long of never experiencing it than having that heartbreak 13+ times over

 

[fisher640]

I love you guys!!!

I have no sympathy or anything like that for anyone TTC#2 and having a hic-up in the plan and it taking longer than they would like.

My cousin is having a really hard time conceiving her second and I do feel for her becuase it has been two years and honestly doing that for two years is upsetting, but come the F# bomb on, you have a child. Just enjoy the time you have with him and your step children. I know it seems unfair that you of all people are only allowed one child but what about me? Huh? Never had a BFP, never been close to being pregnant. It almost makes me want to jump up and scream "How Dare You!" when we talk but I cant, I can only say "yeah i know it does suck, how horrible for you."

But honestly I think the worst thing possible - and this could be because it is my worst fear - is to be a chronic miscarrier. The ladies that have had multiple and are still trying for #1. For all of you women that experience this my heart and prayers go out for you. Especially since I have NEVER had a BFP, if I miscarried I don’t know what I would do beyond crawl into a hole and die.

I have a good in-real-life friend who has had 6 miscarriages. We both started TTC roughly the same time 5 years ago. She still has no baby and my heart just breaks for all that she has gone through. She knew about me and DH with LTTTC and we were sort of buddies about it. I was dreading telling her when I got pregnant, I felt so guilty. I agree with all of you though. Sure. I can see how secondary infertility would be 'hard' but I think that's more of "but I want another one cause I want it" rather than the hopelessness and wondering with LTTTC #1. I had to quit other forums and do mostly this one for that particular reason.

 

[OperationBbyO]

I will never ever ever ever ever understand women who bitch and complain about not being able to have #2. I'm still paranoid about #1 getting here. Even if I never get to have another child I will feel so blessed to be able to finally just have one baby in my life. I had 2 MCs before my sticky bean and even now in my 3rd trimester I'm still terrified something will go wrong and I will lose my little boy. We may have just as many problems trying to TTC #2 and yes, I will be sad, but there is no way in hell it will be as heartbreaking as the journey to #1. Nope. Those women are nuts. They should be happy they were blessed with a child.

 

[sugarpi24]

kinda makes you wonder about some ppl that are TTC for #2 or whatever on if they are even focusing on the child they already have i wish i could feel that feeling of having a child!

 

[OperationBbyO]

I wish that for you too! My baby is a Femara + progesterone (plus some extreme timing and other stuff baby) so I'm hoping the Femara works for you too!

 

[J_Lynn]

Me too sugarpi ... me too .... someday. I know it's coming one day. Don't know when, but somehow. I am hoping the femara works for me as well as it seems to work for the majority of the ladies on here - it seems to be the best thing since sliced white bread so I'm hoping it works for me. My dr is really working on my CM now to make it more fertile - it's getting a little more lubricative/stretchy during O, so maybe it will all come together soon. Ahhh man. I can't wait!

 

[ESwemba84]

I really hope this works for me too! I keep having minor cramping like it do on unmediated cycles in the week before AF, and I keep convincing myself that either I didn't do something right with the trigger shot and I never ovulated, or that the progesterone is not strong enough and AF is going to show the next day. Then again I can't tell whether my cramps are pre AF, or GI related. It's like very minor pain around each of the ovaries, but hardly in the middle. Has anyone had this with progesterone suppositories before? I'm 6 DPO and I fear I won't make it until test day.

 

[Ceilani]

Hi all, mind if I join in? We've been ttc for a little over a year now, with one mc along the way. I'm starting Femara next week, after 3 failed rounds of Clomid. I haven't been able to find too much in the way of how successful Femara is vs. Clomid, but my fs is sold on the change. I'll be changing my days, too, from 5-9 to 3-7.

In any case, just wanted to say hi.

 

[J_Lynn]

I AM HAVING THAT SAME THING!!!! I keep wondering if it's like GI cramping, or if it's in my uterus!!! The progesterone suppositories are throwing me off because I don't know what to expect with them and I don't know what kind of side effects they cause so I am thinking that either AF is ready and as soon as I am done with my 10-days of vaginal progesterone she is going to come in full force, or I'm pregnant, or I have some serious intestinal issues going on that are going to eventually wreak havoc on my entire body. Because this is day 2 of feeling like this!!!

 

[J_Lynn]

Hi all, mind if I join in? We've been ttc for a little over a year now, with one mc along the way. I'm starting Femara next week, after 3 failed rounds of Clomid. I haven't been able to find too much in the way of how successful Femara is vs. Clomid, but my fs is sold on the change. I'll be changing my days, too, from 5-9 to 3-7.

In any case, just wanted to say hi.

Clomid worked for me on the first round, well at least it made me have a decent sized follicle. It didn't do anything the other rounds I took it. This was my first round with femara and I had a follicle on each side, and one of them was so big and even had the little egg sac on the side of the follicle - it was really cool to see!! So femara has definitely worked better for me already!! Good luck!!

 

[cntrygrl]

Hey ladies was wondering if I could join you. I know I've met some of you on other threads.

 

[ESwemba84]

I AM HAVING THAT SAME THING!!!! I keep wondering if it's like GI cramping, or if it's in my uterus!!! The progesterone suppositories are throwing me off because I don't know what to expect with them and I don't know what kind of side effects they cause so I am thinking that either AF is ready and as soon as I am done with my 10-days of vaginal progesterone she is going to come in full force, or I'm pregnant, or I have some serious intestinal issues going on that are going to eventually wreak havoc on my entire body. Because this is day 2 of feeling like this!!!

I'm glad I'm not alone! I feel like I'm going crazy....is it cramping, is it not? Is it AF, or do I have to fart? This is the longest TWW I have ever gone through.