anyone over 35 going for fertility treatments this year? IUI, IVF etc

[sarahincanada]

You had to know I would be here!

I am so glad you were able to come to the decision about the embies; now that you have, I can say this...my biggest fear was always having 2 kids in diapers, 2 not sleeping through the night....you know what I mean.

In hindsight, that period of time is relatively short and it was a foolish thought...basically, 2 embies is your best shot and I would run with it.

I think so too, the chance of pregnancy is only about 30% to begin with, and the chance of twins 30% of that. If it happens we can work it out, we are fortunate that we are both self employed and can change our hours etc to cope. yes the thought of 2 babies not sleeping at night is worrying but its more the worry about creating 2 healthy babies. and I will want more children, so having a toddler and a newborn would probably be worse! at least with twins they are on the same schedule.

 

[dachsundmom]

Sarah, that's the thing; I am also self-employed and my DH is a SAHD...I could easily work it out, but I have some serious fear about two babies, lol. I thought the toddler stage was pretty good.

Frankly, whatever happens, be it one or two babies, I think you will do a fab job!

 

[sarahincanada]

greenfingers can I update you on the front page to have a bfp now?

 

[35_Smiling]

Hi All....I'm back!!!

Sorry, we went out for lunch!!

Good news, we have seen 1 little heart beat...OMG I am so relived. Everything is fine, we could see the heart beat really clearly and the little bean measures 9.4mm, spot on for 7 weeks.

Woo hoo......you girls will all be following me soon.

Thanks for all your support, it means the world

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

 

[hockey24]

Sarah - I continue to be amazed at your numbers! That is so fantastic!! Friday can not come fast enough!!

Glad your transferring 2 - the thought of twins scares the crap out of me, but the thought of having no babies, scares me even more!

 

[crystal443]

Greenie- Yaahhhhh!!!!! So happy for you Now you can relax and enjoy it

Sarah- I think most women fear two babies...but I also think if you have two babies you will do fine!!! Dmom is right, it is such a short moment in time and your self employed with no little ones at home so you can rest during your pregnancy etc. Go for it

 

[GreenFingers]

Sarah- 16 still, that is fantastic and I totally understand about having 2 put back, I keep thinking to myself today what if we had only put one back and it was the other one that didn't make it! Roll on Friday, you must be sooo excited x x

Thanks everyone for your kind words and yes Sarah, please do change my status.

Hockey, that's it now till the 12 week scan, I need to find a midwife which may be hard as I am in temporary accommodation!!!

 

[LLbean]

GF you are a blueberry YEY...so happy about the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah glad you are going for 2...I honestly think that is the best deal... Had I been able to do that perhaps I would still have one bean in there

 

[Milty]

Yeah GF

I am also glad you decided on two Sarah

 

[onmymind17]

Greenfingers, i am so happy for you!!!!

Sarah, way to go lady, wow thats fantastic, soon you will be joing Greenfingers in the BFP's!!!

 

[sarahincanada]

Hi everyone! so today Im taking my mum downtown for some shopping and perhaps dinner, then going to the inlaws after so that should keep me busy. I dont get a report on my lil embies today just have to wait till tomorrows apt. how will I sleep tonight!! actually Ive been pretty calm and relaxed all week and even forget all about it.

just wanted to rant about my MIL:
my mum is leaving to go back to the uk on saturday morning, and my inlaws were bugging me asking when they can come see her to say goodbye. as I didnt know if my transfer would be wednesday or friday I was avoiding them as I want to just rest after and not have any questions asked (they dont know about any of this). So I was pleased to find out its friday, as they had been asking about meeting thursday so it worked out perfect.

then yesterday hubby tells me 'my mum said thursday isnt good afterall and wants to come over friday instead' as if it had all been arranged. I was so annoyed at him as I told him they would probably advise me bed rest and my inlaws would think something was wrong if they came over and I was in bed, the night before my mum leaves! plus I just didnt want to be dealing with her the night of my transfer as she annoys me greatly. So I called and left a message saying friday was not good for us and we will just pop into theirs on thursday night to say goodbye. She makes a big deal out of everything and every meeting has to involve a massive meal or cakes and tea, its so annoying. I just hope she doesnt quiz me about why friday is no good!

 

[dachsundmom]

Why didn't DH just say no? Was he unaware that you'd need to take it very easy tomorrow?

 

[sarahincanada]

Why didn't DH just say no? Was he unaware that you'd need to take it very easy tomorrow?

no Ive mentioned it many times!! when I spoke to him after he did say that he hadnt confirmed it, said he would talk to me. I find he just accepts anything she says or says he will ask me then I have to be the one saying yes or no. it happens all the time, not long after my mum arrived his mum had decided we would have dinner around our house and I was like um no, the place is a mess and I dont have time to clean it! its like she always has been in charge of all arrangements and so just goes ahead and decides on things

the worse was the month that I thought he had a bfp as my LP was longer and it was that weekend I was going to get the beta. I told him I wanted to relax as if its negative it will be hard, but the inlaws came over. they arrived 30 mins after the call that my beta was negative. the last thing I wanted to do was talk to her! I ended up pretending I was ill and not spending much time with them. My hubby just wants them to come over and hang out, but she makes that hard as she acts all weird if I just go and do my own thing and says 'oh we will get out of your way'.

its hard as my hubby is close to his parents and loves having them over, but I just clash with his mum, she drives me crazy.

you know whats funny, some of the reason I want to just have 1 embryo implanted is because his family is religious and if we had twins I would feel I need to be honest that it was IVF. but if it was a singleton I wouldnt have to say anything. does this make sense? I can just imagine them not wanting to tell the religious aunts it was ivf. of course people have natural twins, but Im an honest person. his mum tells the family everything, and tells me what everyone says. when we first got together she would tell me what they were saying about our age difference (hubby is 9 years younger) and that would really hurt me. As I am not ashamed of IVF sometimes I think f**k them and in some ways would love her to say something so I could have an excuse not to talk to her anymore! but that would be a big strain on my relationship.

sorry will stop waffling now!!

 

[dachsundmom]

Sarah, I get it...really get it. But, in the end, I cannot imagine that his family would be rude enough to ever make a comment about IVF and I would think they'd be smart enough to realize that you worked hard to have a baby or two and STFU.

From what I can tell, DH's parents live close to you? So being told no every once and awhile should not be a big deal and you owe them no explanation at all.

Can you say you'd just like some time alone with your mum before she leaves?

 

[NorthStar]

Sarah your in-laws will surely be delighted with a grandchild by any means, it would be awfully harsh of them to judge you for IVF.

I have "in your face" in laws too though so I totally understand where you are coming from with the other stuff, D's dad is actually a degree worse than your inlaws in that respect, whereas my own parents have some concept of boundaries. People think however they have been raised themselves is normal though.

 

[sarahincanada]

Sarah, I get it...really get it. But, in the end, I cannot imagine that his family would be rude enough to ever make a comment about IVF and I would think they'd be smart enough to realize that you worked hard to have a baby or two and STFU.

From what I can tell, DH's parents live close to you? So being told no every once and awhile should not be a big deal and you owe them no explanation at all.

Can you say you'd just like some time alone with your mum before she leaves?

oooh that a good one, perhaps I will say that.

its hard to explain, she wont outright come out and be nasty, but would say things like 'I havent told the aunts about your age difference' which casts a negative light on it and is a dig without coming right out and saying Im embarrised about your age difference. so I can imagine her saying 'im not telling the aunts that you did IVF'. but I shouldnt think ahead, perhaps they will be great but it will be a good test!

 

[dachsundmom]

She'll get over it, lol...

 

[35_Smiling]

:wave: have a wonderful day everyone. just popping in

 

[LLbean]

ok...first of all the blame would be on your hubby...he should know better

on the "twins" conversation... you need not disclose IVF at all...twins can happen to anyone at any age, family history or not. There are many things that can increase the likelihood of twins but it can happen to anyone...

What other factors affect the chances that I'll have more than one baby?

While identical twins generally happen by sheer chance, there are several factors that influence your chances of having fraternal twins:

Heredity: If you're a twin or if twins run in your family, you're slightly more likely to have a set yourself. Women who are fraternal twins have a one in 60 chance of bearing twins.
Race: Twins are more common than average in African Americans and less common in Hispanics and Asians.
Age: The older you are, the higher your chances of having fraternal twins or higher-order multiples. A 2006 study found that women over 35 produce more follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) than younger women. Ironically, increasing levels of this hormone are a sign of failing ovaries and declining fertility. But FSH is also the hormone that causes an egg to ripen in preparation for ovulation each month, and women with extra FSH may release more than one egg in a single cycle. So while older women are statistically less likely to get pregnant, if they do get pregnant, they're more likely to have twins.
Number of pregnancies: The more pregnancies you've had, the greater your chances of having twins.
History of twins: Once you have a set of fraternal twins, you're twice as likely to have another set in future pregnancies.
Body type: Twins are more common in large and tall women than in small women.

SOOOO many things can factor in to twinning and does not automatically mean you had IVF

 

[NorthStar]

Sarah when you live overseas your time with your mum is really precious, and your inlaws really should understand that, I used to be a basket case the day before my parents went back, and my mum would start crying 48 hours before the big airport bye bye.

So even without the IVF/bedrest story, your MIL is clomping all over sacred ground here but that message that Friday is not a possibility should really come from your husband rather than you being the bad guy.