anyone over 35 going for fertility treatments this year? IUI, IVF etc

[Indigo77]

Is it horrible?

 

[readyformore]

Is it horrible?

Which part specifically?

It's impossible to say that it's horrible because it got me my son. But, I can tell you that the emotional cost is too high for me and I won't be doing it again.

 

[Indigo77]

Hmm...my DH just met up with an old friend at a conference in Vancouver. They are pregnant with their 2nd son. The first came after their 1st IUI and this one came with their 2nd...He had low motility and low count and she had an issue, as well....just don't know what it is...Usually I hear about people having to try again and again....and eventually moving on to IVF...

 

[readyformore]

We were unexplained infertility. The first 3 failed. We were taking courses for IVF while going through the fourth IUI. So, if the 4th wasn't successful, we would have gone to IVF. But, at least there are options. If I hadn't done IUI, I wouldn't have my son.

 

[Lyvid]

DH and I are decided we will do whatever we can, we're both willing to go through the procedures if necessary. If I don't come up pg with this cycle I'm hoping to get in to a Dr by the end of June and start getting some testing done including SA for DH. Including our 8 months NTNP (and at it like rabbits, we were newlyweds and you'd think my DH was 18!) we've been at this for over a year, over 6 months really TTC. So if it doesn't happen then yes, I'll be trying IUI by the fall.

 

[sarahincanada]

But, I can tell you that the emotional cost is too high for me and I won't be doing it again.

aww sorry to hear that, I was wondering if you could elaborate ... you said you wouldnt do it again so interested to hear more. I can imagine the 2WW when you have done a treatment must be insane.

 

[sarahincanada]

Is it horrible?

I dont think IUI is too bad...I had a sono where they put a catheter with a camera into the uterus and flush your tubes with dye....I was soooo nervous as had read some horror stories and as mentioned hate all that stuff. it wasnt bad at all, had an 'ow' pinch when she went through the cervix but that was it. my tubes were clear, I think if your tubes are blocked you get bad cramps. I asked her if IUI felt similar and she said IUI was less as what they use to deposit the sperm is smaller than what they use on a sono with a camera. so Im not worried about it

 

[sarahincanada]

DH and I are decided we will do whatever we can, we're both willing to go through the procedures if necessary. If I don't come up pg with this cycle I'm hoping to get in to a Dr by the end of June and start getting some testing done including SA for DH. Including our 8 months NTNP (and at it like rabbits, we were newlyweds and you'd think my DH was 18!) we've been at this for over a year, over 6 months really TTC. So if it doesn't happen then yes, I'll be trying IUI by the fall.

well I would love to keep in touch on this thread as thats my plan too! although Ive had all the tests and can start at anytime. Lets hope we will get our bfps before then

 

[Lyvid]

DH and I are decided we will do whatever we can, we're both willing to go through the procedures if necessary. If I don't come up pg with this cycle I'm hoping to get in to a Dr by the end of June and start getting some testing done including SA for DH. Including our 8 months NTNP (and at it like rabbits, we were newlyweds and you'd think my DH was 18!) we've been at this for over a year, over 6 months really TTC. So if it doesn't happen then yes, I'll be trying IUI by the fall.

well I would love to keep in touch on this thread as thats my plan too! lets hope we will get our bfps before then

Definitely! FX'd for you!

 

[Indigo77]

I will be following this thread to see what happens. I am such a chicken when it comes to these things. Until last summer, I had not had a pap smear for 15 years! My doc basically scared me into it. I cried the entire time she was down there! She actually suggested I have a few drinks before the next one. I told her not to expect me for another 15 years. My dentist won't work on me unless I take a valium first. My hubby actually takes time off to take me to doc appts because he knows I will cancel if left on my own. The funny thing is, we found out last Christmas that my sister's hubby has to do the same for her...

 

[Lyvid]

I will be following this thread to see what happens. I am such a chicken when it comes to these things. Until last summer, I had not had a pap smear for 15 years! My doc basically scared me into it. I cried the entire time she was down there! She actually suggested I have a few drinks before the next one. I told her not to expect me for another 15 years. My dentist won't work on me unless I take a valium first. My hubby actually takes time off to take me to doc appts because he knows I will cancel if left on my own. The funny thing is, we found out last Christmas that my sister's hubby has to do the same for her...

My BF is the same way. She and her hubby TTC for about a year and when that didn't work they adopted! There's no way she would go through IUI or IVF, she about dies when she has to have a shot or blood taken for any reason and she reacts very badly to most medications including BC. She was worried about them taking blood for a BFP confirmation even! We each do what we're able! FX'd for a natural BFP for you Indigo! And for the rest of us too!

 

[Indigo77]

She and her hubby TTC for about a year and when that didn't work they adopted!

Funny that you said that...When my sister and her hubby found out his swimmers were bad, they went straight to the adoption route. I think she was relieved.

 

[sarahincanada]

I will be following this thread to see what happens. I am such a chicken when it comes to these things. Until last summer, I had not had a pap smear for 15 years! My doc basically scared me into it. I cried the entire time she was down there! She actually suggested I have a few drinks before the next one. I told her not to expect me for another 15 years. My dentist won't work on me unless I take a valium first. My hubby actually takes time off to take me to doc appts because he knows I will cancel if left on my own. The funny thing is, we found out last Christmas that my sister's hubby has to do the same for her...

Im the same with the dentist!!! and same with the vet, I hate taking in my pets!!! I dont like going for these tests but glad I did as I wouldnt have known about my polyp. I figure no pain no gain and I would like a baby so forcing myself to do it. you never know, you might get the courage one day but Im sure you will get a natural BFP before that

 

[readyformore]

But, I can tell you that the emotional cost is too high for me and I won't be doing it again.

aww sorry to hear that, I was wondering if you could elaborate ... you said you wouldnt do it again so interested to hear more. I can imagine the 2WW when you have done a treatment must be insane.

It seems like some people are wondering about the discomfort of IUI. It's basically like a pap smear. Totally not an issue for me.

About the emotional aspect. . . . .Well, for me, it seems like the more I invest into ttc, the harder and more crushing a bfn is to handle. I remember going to my first RE appointment being very excited. I was shocked when she told me that the average success rate is very similar to a natural pregnancy rate. I think that she brought me back to earth when she said "Most people will not get pregnant with IUI." It was a very sobering moment. Yet, I couldn't help but get my hopes up each time.

In the course of ttc, I had been temping, trying opks, scheduling bd, keeping hips elevated, going to the doctors for bloodwork, HSG, husband's SA, etc.
IUI was so much more. I was at that office 10 times a month for blood work and ultrasounds and the 3 inseminations per cycle. I had to have ovarian cysts drained vaginally. I was on clomid which thinned my lining, so I had to take estrace to counteract that, which needed even more monitoring. Progesterone vaginal suppositories too.

The office only did blood work at 7:30 am. Period. My shift at work starts at 7. I had to fill out medical leave papers so that I could come into work late and not loose my job. Oftentimes, I switched my shifts. I still remember working a 4 day stretch where I worked 2-12 hour shifts, then 1-16 hour shift, and another 12 hour shift; back to back to accomodate scheduling for my IUI. . . .which failed.

Repeat for 2 more cycles.
4th cycle was the success.

Changing your entire life for a baby that isn't coming, was so devestating to me. I was a basket case. Knowing that my overall chances of conceiving now are even lower due to my age, I don't know if I can handle it again and come through with my sanity intact. My girlfriend mentioned that I clearly must not want another baby as much as I did my first because I'm not willing to do IUI again. Well. . . . there's no guarantee that you'll get a baby out of it. If there was, I would have done it 6 months ago.

Sorry that this sounded like such a downer. Obviously, I'm thrilled that it worked and my son is completely worth it, but. . . . . . .

 

[Indigo77]

and same with the vet, I hate taking in my pets!!!

Same here...My hubby takes them....For a while we would both take them and then he told me it would be a less stressful experience for everyone if I stayed home...

 

[Indigo77]

But, I can tell you that the emotional cost is too high for me and I won't be doing it again.

aww sorry to hear that, I was wondering if you could elaborate ... you said you wouldnt do it again so interested to hear more. I can imagine the 2WW when you have done a treatment must be insane.

It seems like some people are wondering about the discomfort of IUI. It's basically like a pap smear. Totally not an issue for me.

About the emotional aspect. . . . .Well, for me, it seems like the more I invest into ttc, the harder and more crushing a bfn is to handle. I remember going to my first RE appointment being very excited. I was shocked when she told me that the average success rate is very similar to a natural pregnancy rate. I think that she brought me back to earth when she said "Most people will not get pregnant with IUI." It was a very sobering moment. Yet, I couldn't help but get my hopes up each time.

In the course of ttc, I had been temping, trying opks, scheduling bd, keeping hips elevated, going to the doctors for bloodwork, HSG, husband's SA, etc.
IUI was so much more. I was at that office 10 times a month for blood work and ultrasounds and the 3 inseminations per cycle. I had to have ovarian cysts drained vaginally. I was on clomid which thinned my lining, so I had to take estrace to counteract that, which needed even more monitoring. Progesterone vaginal suppositories too.

The office only did blood work at 7:30 am. Period. My shift at work starts at 7. I had to fill out medical leave papers so that I could come into work late and not loose my job. Oftentimes, I switched my shifts. I still remember working a 4 day stretch where I worked 2-12 hour shifts, then 1-16 hour shift, and another 12 hour shift; back to back to accomodate scheduling for my IUI. . . .which failed.

Repeat for 2 more cycles.
4th cycle was the success.

Changing your entire life for a baby that isn't coming, was so devestating to me. I was a basket case. Knowing that my overall chances of conceiving now are even lower due to my age, I don't know if I can handle it again and come through with my sanity intact. My girlfriend mentioned that I clearly must not want another baby as much as I did my first because I'm not willing to do IUI again. Well. . . . there's no guarantee that you'll get a baby out of it. If there was, I would have done it 6 months ago.

Sorry that this sounded like such a downer. Obviously, I'm thrilled that it worked and my son is completely worth it, but. . . . . . .

OMG...Yep...Not for me...And I assume IVF is even worse...

 

[readyformore]

We started the classes for IVF. That was the plan if the fourth IUI didn't work.

Yes, IVF is much more involved. More invasive too. But, I think it has a higher success rate, depending on the institution that you use.

 

[Indigo77]

Yes...a much higher success rate...IUI has a very low success rate for women over 38...

 

[velo]

I will be following this thread to see what happens. I am such a chicken when it comes to these things. Until last summer, I had not had a pap smear for 15 years! My doc basically scared me into it. I cried the entire time she was down there! She actually suggested I have a few drinks before the next one. I told her not to expect me for another 15 years. My dentist won't work on me unless I take a valium first. My hubby actually takes time off to take me to doc appts because he knows I will cancel if left on my own. The funny thing is, we found out last Christmas that my sister's hubby has to do the same for her...

I figure pregnancy is going to involve its own invasive exams too. I used to be a chicken to these things and I avoided pap smears for about the same amount of time. When I finally went for one, I think I went back to the GP 4 or 5 times for her to try, and she had me taking a prescription muscle relaxant first. It still didn't work! So she sent me to a ob/gyn that was fairly nasty and just went for the brute force approach which didn't help my opinion of pap smears.

At the time I think I had issues with vaginismus (involuntary contracting of the vaginal muscles) which also caused problems with intercourse. I learned to relax these muscles and so everything went much more smoothly with both sex and pap smears! But then I moved last year and so I was seeing a new GP who didn't I guess have the knowledge of the previous one where to find my cervix etc.

Again she struggled to get the speculum in but then when she got it she's like oh your cervix is very posterior, which I guess is why it causes trouble when the doctor is assuming my cervix is in a more average position.

My advice would be to look for a new doctor who can be more patient with your fears!

 

[sarahincanada]

But, I can tell you that the emotional cost is too high for me and I won't be doing it again.

aww sorry to hear that, I was wondering if you could elaborate ... you said you wouldnt do it again so interested to hear more. I can imagine the 2WW when you have done a treatment must be insane.

It seems like some people are wondering about the discomfort of IUI. It's basically like a pap smear. Totally not an issue for me.

About the emotional aspect. . . . .Well, for me, it seems like the more I invest into ttc, the harder and more crushing a bfn is to handle. I remember going to my first RE appointment being very excited. I was shocked when she told me that the average success rate is very similar to a natural pregnancy rate. I think that she brought me back to earth when she said "Most people will not get pregnant with IUI." It was a very sobering moment. Yet, I couldn't help but get my hopes up each time.

In the course of ttc, I had been temping, trying opks, scheduling bd, keeping hips elevated, going to the doctors for bloodwork, HSG, husband's SA, etc.
IUI was so much more. I was at that office 10 times a month for blood work and ultrasounds and the 3 inseminations per cycle. I had to have ovarian cysts drained vaginally. I was on clomid which thinned my lining, so I had to take estrace to counteract that, which needed even more monitoring. Progesterone vaginal suppositories too.

The office only did blood work at 7:30 am. Period. My shift at work starts at 7. I had to fill out medical leave papers so that I could come into work late and not loose my job. Oftentimes, I switched my shifts. I still remember working a 4 day stretch where I worked 2-12 hour shifts, then 1-16 hour shift, and another 12 hour shift; back to back to accomodate scheduling for my IUI. . . .which failed.

Repeat for 2 more cycles.
4th cycle was the success.

Changing your entire life for a baby that isn't coming, was so devestating to me. I was a basket case. Knowing that my overall chances of conceiving now are even lower due to my age, I don't know if I can handle it again and come through with my sanity intact. My girlfriend mentioned that I clearly must not want another baby as much as I did my first because I'm not willing to do IUI again. Well. . . . there's no guarantee that you'll get a baby out of it. If there was, I would have done it 6 months ago.

Sorry that this sounded like such a downer. Obviously, I'm thrilled that it worked and my son is completely worth it, but. . . . . . .

thank you for your honesty! you havent put me off, mainly because you said it doesnt hurt which is my main worry. the rest I can handle (schedules and visits) as Im lucky and make my own hours.

Funny you said about IUI chances being no better, my FS said the combination of clomid and washed sperm is a really successful one. I guess I will see.

I cant imagine what the 2WW will be like once Im paying for treatments like IUI and IVF, its going to be very hard. But I think I will take the risk if Im more likely to have a baby in the end (I have to believe Im more likely otherwise why bother_. But each cycle will be hard, I will be seeing my therapist a lot during that time Im sure!!

hubby seems to think it wont get to that point, but every month I get my period I lose hope of a natural bfp.

so you are trying naturally now right? I hope you get a bfp very soon