Anyone over 45 TTc ?buddies needed <3

[BBbliss]

Thank you for your support ladies.

Garnet I'm impressed your Dr. Was so positive, like we said here before its so hard to find drs who believe in us. How are you feeling?

Lass66, it seams a lot of us here have the same story, partners who never had children of their own, the things we do for love... I with you all the best on your journey.

Saintly, I know, I believe that too. Well, we had a netting yesterday with the dr and embryologist and they think since we only have one that we shouldn't mess with it, and not do the biopsy. I know I was convicted I wanted to but in the end I also need to listen to the team of experts. So yesterday they froze the blast graded 4BB and we'll transfer in a couple of months once my body is ready end receptive.

 

[SaintlySue]

BBbliss, I can understand your decision. The embie has come very far and there is a better chance that it is healthy than you may realize. I wish I could say something to ease your fears but I have seen more women under 30 have down syndrome babies than over 40. The stats are skewed because women do not typically have children over 40. My cousin(guy) same age as me married in his 20s she was also in her 20s their child had down syndrome along with other abnormalities. For many reasons they waited ten years before even seeing a geneticist. They were told most of the time it is just a freak incident and probably would not happen again. You have done a lot of things to help your body produce a healthy egg most women do not even think about that.

 

[marathongirl]

BBbliss- happy to hear about your golden emby!!! I agree that it only takes 1 golden egg. We are all here for you. Now you just have to get your body to the stage where it is most receptive. I think you have been doing all the right things for a while now so that should be no problem!

Garnet- thanks for the encouragement. I'm really hoping this is it for you! Please let us know. When do they typically test?

 

[Delphine11]

Thank you for your support ladies.

Garnet I'm impressed your Dr. Was so positive, like we said here before its so hard to find drs who believe in us. How are you feeling?

Lass66, it seams a lot of us here have the same story, partners who never had children of their own, the things we do for love... I with you all the best on your journey.

Saintly, I know, I believe that too. Well, we had a netting yesterday with the dr and embryologist and they think since we only have one that we shouldn't mess with it, and not do the biopsy. I know I was convicted I wanted to but in the end I also need to listen to the team of experts. So yesterday they froze the blast graded 4BB and we'll transfer in a couple of months once my body is ready end receptive.

I think you made a very sensible decision, BBbliss. You listened to the experts' opinion and then made your own decision. It sounds like you weighed things up very carefully, so your decision was well-considered and based on information from people you trusted.

I know very little about IVF - do you mind if I ask if there's any special way you get your body receptive ready for transfer? Does it involve drugs? Sorry if that's a very stupid question!

Thank you for the advice about my consultant and that I should remember I'm paying and I can walk away if he's not helpful. My partner said that too when I revealed my worries to him today. Sometimes I feel like I'm having to beg for help whereas if I was in my 20s they'd be queuing up to help. I refuse to be written off because of my age! I've read so many stories where women were told their problems were due to age and there was actually a solveable problem they had that no-one spotted because they didn't bother to investigate properly and just made assumptions.Here's a page with women in their 40s saying a similar thing:

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a26394503/not_enough_effort_in_helping_over_40_ttc

Yes, you're right about so many ladies having new partners who don't have children of their own. That's my main motivation too. I never planned to try to have another baby in my 40s - but then, I never planned to get divorced... But my partner has no children and desperately wants a child so I'm more than happy to try to give him a child of his own. I only wish it was a lot easier!

I think my partner and I are keeping the vitamin and supplement business afloat all by ourselves I'm taking a lot of supplemets already and he's just got extra ones for sperm quality (any suggestions for supplements to improve sperm motility and morphology would be very welcome).

 

[BBbliss]

SaintlySue, THANK YOU SO MUCH! And I think you are right, just yesterday by total chance I came across a video someone posted on FB about down and they had the kids with their moms and I did notice the mothers were not old women but just regular moms. Because I only had one the embryologist recommended we didn't biopsy and again I trusted him, so today you just made me feel better about it.

Now, you will never believe what happened today! I got a call this morning that I now have TWO frozen blasts! One that was legging behind and the embryologist chose not to tell me, maybe so I didn't get disappointed again, so this one slower one finally become a blast good enough to freeze so now I have even more possibilities

Delphine, it's not a stupid question at all! That's why we are have, to help each-other out. Well, in my case it does involve drugs. I'll be one BCP for the next cycle and I believe the cycle after I'm using estrogen patches and progesterone shots that need to start 4 days before transfer. I may do lupron shots too before the progesterone. I don't have my full protocol yet they give it to me on a need to know basis as its just so much info. Still, this is just a plan they have for me, I doesn't mean "or else" it's just so there no question my body isn't ready, besides right now I feel beat up from all the injections and retriaval, this way I have time to get strong.

I believe the two problems we have at our age is thin lining, estrogen helps that, and progesterone is important to support implantation and pregnancy. I think it's one of known reasons for yearly misc. at our age.

I've heard vit e, baby aspirin are good for lining, and some ladies progesterone creams after O

 

[Garnet]

Yes hormones! Bcp first to regulate cycle! It was not my egg so I did not have to do as much! Lupron to shut down ovaries and to prevent AF from happening! Estrogen to build lining 10 days or more before transfer. Mine was 8.9 cm! Progesterone pills 3x day to help with embroyo development. I take both until 12 weeks!

 

[Delphine11]

Thank you, BBbliss and Garnet! I didn't realise that happened with IVF so thank you both very much for explaining. It makes perfect sense now I know. I do think it's good that everything's done to give you the best possible chance.

BBbliss - two embies! That's fantastic news! What a lovely surprise for you to be told that!

 

[BBbliss]

Garnet how far along are you? When do you get your beta test? i can tell you are so excited, I'm happy for you

 

[marathongirl]

BBbliss- so happy to hear you have 2 embryos!!!! Yay! I just have a good feeling about it and am so excited for you!

Garnet- also excited for you! How many days post transfer are you? Will you test soon?

 

[BBbliss]

BBbliss- so happy to hear you have 2 embryos!!!! Yay! I just have a good feeling about it and am so excited for you!

Garnet- also excited for you! How many days post transfer are you? Will you test soon?

Thank you! I do too!!! It just doubled my chances that little fighter

 

[marathongirl]

Any updates ladies? How are you doing Garnet? Thinking about all of you. Hoping we see some BFP's soon!

 

[BabyGriffin14]

I am 12 DPO today and tested negative. I am cramping badly and I'm super emotional, so I know AF will be here within the next day or two.
I really had my hopes up this month and thought we get our little miracle. Sad doesn't even begin to cover how I feel today, but I can't sit at my desk and cry all day.

I know my age has a lot to do with my issues, but I also think stress at work is making a BFP twice as hard to achieve. There really isn't a lot I can do about my job though. It's not like I can just quit. I'm actually filing an official complaint against the main perpetrator this afternoon, but again, that doesn't really help with the stress.

 

[BBbliss]

BabyG so sorry you are having a bad day... Sometimes I wish the whole world could just stop while I'm TTC but it never looks that way and right in the middle of the worse of days that's when everything happens and you have to keep it to yourself... I know

Better days will come, be good to yourself first, take a deep breath and look ahead to what's to come and what's possible

 

[Delphine11]

Hello, ladies - I just posted a comment and lost it!

I'm posting this here because I don't want to upset my partner now he's finally more relaxed after a crappy week.

Rant warning! :- I saw the specialist this week and I am now angry and stressed. BBbliss, it was like reliving your experience The man I saw appeared to have made up his mind before he saw me. He wasn't interested in my cycles, what i was doing, or anything else. He basically sat there and told me my eggs were old and crap and my only option was donor eggs! I was so frustrated!

Every time I tried to say "Yes, but...." he just cut me off and went back to saying 'Donor eggs'. I said that I appreciated my chances were lower because of my age but I only needed one good egg. His reply was "No, they're all old and bad" I was so angry! He doesn't know that. He's not done any scans or seen my eggs. I do realise some or many of them will be dodgy, but they are NOT all old and damaged! Even when I told him about that CP I had a few months ago, he didn't even seem to listen. He just couldn't wait to butt in and say "Donor eggs" again.

Anything I tried to suggest or ask about, he said No to. I asked for injectibles - he said no. I even asked for Clomid and he said No. I asked for progesterone - he said No. I felt totally hopeless. He was writing me off without any look at me as an individual. He wasn't even prepared to try anything. He didn't even mention IUI. He made me feel absolutely wretched. I was sitting there telling myself to ignore him because i know so many ladies on here have had similar problems, but even though I know that and I know women older than me have got pregnant with their own eggs, to have to sit there and have that said to your face is very hard. In the end I couldn't help crying. It was frustration as much as anything.

My partner was furious. He couldn't understand why he was saying all that. He's spent a couple of days talking about it over and over. I know he's still hurt and angry. The guy even said that taking supplements wouldn't improve his sperm, which made my partner utterly miserable as he was trying to improve his SA results because it was below average.I told him that simply wasn't true. That was the worst thing - seeing my partner hurt and upset.

I feel that that specialist just wrote me off because of my age. Some of the things he said simply weren't correct. He wouldn't listen to me and he wasn't interested in helping us. If he wasn't saying "Donor eggs" he was saying "No". I'm still so angry about it! I paid my money and I expected him to listen to me and try to do what he could to help in any way but he was only interested in IVF with DE.

Sorry again for the rant! I know you ladies will understand and I could do with some cheering up after that fiasco. I don't have much choice for specialists and I really wasn't expecting that man to be so totally unhelpful. I was prepared for all the stuff about low chances/miscarriages, etc but NOT prepared for his total refusal to let me try anything with my own eggs - not even Clomid. It's not fair.

Thanks for reading - and best wishes to you all *hugs*

 

[BBbliss]

Delphine, I'm so sorry for your terrible experience. It was exactly what happened to me and I was so angry I kept complaining about it to my poor DF for a full week till I decided to let it go. Well, none of it is true! He does not know ALL your eggs are bad. Nobody knows that! Your very last egg could still be a healthy egg, the odds maybe lower but egg quality can't be measured, only quantity. You KNOW older women get pregnant all the time, you've heard the stories here and everywhere. Hold on to those. I was hurt and angry but I knew it in my heart he was just wrong! One of my friends from work is my age and pregnant right now and she wasn't even trying. Also, I'm a true believer that supplements hugely improved my DFs SA results, it was almost a miracle, within four months he was "cured" don't give up! Put this A hole behind you and move forward with your head held high. Listen to your heart! Xoxo

 

[SaintlySue]

Delphine, so sorry you had to experience that. I do not know if it helps but my DH takes clomid to improve his sperm count. He recently had another SA and it showed increase in count and motility. I am a little concerned because morphology was back to 0 and when we asked the nurse she told us that morphology only mattered when you do IVF. So waiting to hear back from the urologist regarding that. But he had normal low range of testerone so the urologist put him on clomid his testerone is normal but now mid range. His count went from a total of 8 million to total 72 million big difference. I think the doctor did not want to help you by helping your DH which is just crazy. I do not know your age but after many failing IVFs and IUIs we did conceive our son naturally when I was 45 delivered at 46. A very smart beautiful little boy. When my OB tells me about the over 45 patients with pregnancies they have always been normal healthy babies. For me and my DH someone finally looked at him. Again so sorry.

 

[Delphine11]

Delphine, I'm so sorry for your terrible experience. It was exactly what happened to me and I was so angry I kept complaining about it to my poor DF for a full week till I decided to let it go. Well, none of it is true! He does not know ALL your eggs are bad. Nobody knows that! Your very last egg could still be a healthy egg, the odds maybe lower but egg quality can't be measured, only quantity. You KNOW older women get pregnant all the time, you've heard the stories here and everywhere. Hold on to those. I was hurt and angry but I knew it in my heart he was just wrong! One of my friends from work is my age and pregnant right now and she wasn't even trying. Also, I'm a true believer that supplements hugely improved my DFs SA results, it was almost a miracle, within four months he was "cured" don't give up! Put this A hole behind you and move forward with your head held high. Listen to your heart! Xoxo

Thank you so much for replying, BBbliss - I really needed that after the place my head was in this week. Thank you

I tried to stick up for myself and I was very well-prepared but he just talked over me. He rushed through all his questions and moved onto the next one before I'd even finished answering. It was like I didn't count because of my age.

YES! That's what I tell myself - I may not have many eggs left but one of them could be the golden good egg I need. And when he was saying that stuff about my partner's SA and how nothing could improve it, I thought of you and I knew he was wrong. My partner was taking a few basic vitamins like zinc, but now we've added more - L Arginine, L Carnitine and a much bigger dose of CoQ10.

That news about your friend at work really cheered me up!

Just...thank you

 

[Delphine11]

Delphine, so sorry you had to experience that. I do not know if it helps but my DH takes clomid to improve his sperm count. He recently had another SA and it showed increase in count and motility. I am a little concerned because morphology was back to 0 and when we asked the nurse she told us that morphology only mattered when you do IVF. So waiting to hear back from the urologist regarding that. But he had normal low range of testerone so the urologist put him on clomid his testerone is normal but now mid range. His count went from a total of 8 million to total 72 million big difference. I think the doctor did not want to help you by helping your DH which is just crazy. I do not know your age but after many failing IVFs and IUIs we did conceive our son naturally when I was 45 delivered at 46. A very smart beautiful little boy. When my OB tells me about the over 45 patients with pregnancies they have always been normal healthy babies. For me and my DH someone finally looked at him. Again so sorry.

Thank you so much too, SaintlySue! It was great to read you conceived your son at 45. My specialist made out that no woman could get pregnant in their 40s. He made me feel old and crap and useless. I'm 46, by the way. The specialist said "Time's running out". I said "Yes, that's why I've come to see you so you can help". But he did nothing. That made me angry.

You're right about him not wanting to help my partner. I really felt he was making up excuses to get rid of me - unless, of course, I agreed to use donor eggs. Every time I suggested a solution or something to try, he came up with another 'problem'. My partner was quietly devastated at what he said about his SA. I will mention the Clomid to him - thank you. I didn't know that could help men.

My specialist wouldn't even give me Clomid. I wanted to shake him. He was adamant. I asked if there was anything he could give me, and he just said No. I think that's when I realised he wasn't being fair. I did say to him that I didn't mind 'wasting my money' because I just wanted to try things to see if they could help, but he refused. Not for safety reasons, just because he was sitting there like some kind of dictator who was in charge of my life and my options.

Thank you for your kind and helpful reply

 

[Garnet]

Well ladies the DEIVF did not work! Sad but at least we tried one last time!

 

[Delphine11]

So sorry to hear that, Garnet

Sending you my best wishes. I hope you're OK.