Anyone over 45 TTc ?buddies needed <3

[dmama]

So sorry to read that, marathongirl. I was thinking about you and wondering how you were getting on.

But it is good news you've managed to get pregnant, and the fact you have plenty of eggs left is fantastic. It's just luck surely? One of those eggs will be the golden one

How are you, dmama? Is all going well?

As for me, I do have some news I'm currently pregnant. It's totally, totally nerve-wracking. I worry most days. Everything's been good so far, which is very reassuring, but my worry never goes away really.

We used donor eggs. Not because I thought mine were all past it, but simply because we didn't have the money for lots of tries and treatments. I don't regret using donor eggs for a moment. It was the most logical choice, I think, and I'm very happy : )

Best wishes to you all xxx

OMG Delphine!!!! You stinker!:hugs
Well, congratulations!! Did you use a known donor?
I know what you mean about not giving up on your own eggs despite the move to DE. I also feel that if I had Celine Dion's money, I could have done a few more attempts with OE and eventually would have had a success, but I wasn't that financially able to do it and also did not want to be much older when I delivered, and finally did not want the ages between my kids to be too far apart as the reason for doing this is for a close sibling. Well my hats off to you and I hope the next 9 months goes swimmingly!!!! You will never stop worrying my dear. Not even when your kid(s) gets married and has kids of their own.
How far are you along?

Hi BBliss - You certainly deserve time to yourself. We certainly have to take care of ourselves or else nothing else matters at all.

All is well with me except I am still having some brown spotting the doc thinks will hang around for several more weeks. It does worry me since I didn't have this with my previous pregnancy, but nobody else seems worried at all. Haven't yet done any of the testing. That comes next week...hope it all goes well...

Hope everyone is doing well....

 

[SaintlySue]

Hello Ladies,
I hope you are all doing well. Marathongirl I am so sorry. Since you do have so many eggs you just need to get your body to pick a good one. Does DHEA help with that or soy isoflavones. I remember something about a supplement that could help with that but cannot remember what it was. Congrats Delphine! Dmama glad your pregnancy is progressing well. BBliss I hope you are feeling better. I am sorry about your sperm issues. Do you know what is causing the issues? I have not really felt like being around the board much. DH recently lost his cousin, hit and run while he was riding a bike then his aunt died just a few weeks later. Poor DH has been very hard for him. I was very excited that I did O on cycle day 14 this month. My cycle has been moving all around ovulating anywhere from day 18-21. But as it is for everyone I need a good egg and healthy sperm to find each other. I wish there was a supplement for that.

 

[Delphine11]

Thank you, ladies : )

I'm actually a few weeks ahead of you, Dmama. I had some health problems which freaked me out, and I've been so nervous about saying anything. I know that sounds neurotic, but I do think pregnancy is more stressful if you're older. I used an anonymous donor not a known one.

dmama, I hope your spotting eases off. I'd read that it's very common with IVF. I think I read that approx 70% of women have it. Are you taking any progesterone? Sometimes that can irritate the cervix and cause spotting too. Your doctor not being worried is a good sign. Good luck with your testing next week.

Saintly Sue - I'm so sorry about yours and your DH's losses. That's awful. I hope you're coping as well as you can in the circumstances.

BBbliss - a hug for you We all do what we think is best and we have to choose what we need and look after ourselves. I hope you're ok.

 

[dmama]

Thank you, ladies : )

I'm actually a few weeks ahead of you, Dmama. I had some health problems which freaked me out, and I've been so nervous about saying anything. I know that sounds neurotic, but I do think pregnancy is more stressful if you're older. I used an anonymous donor not a known one.

dmama, I hope your spotting eases off. I'd read that it's very common with IVF. I think I read that approx 70% of women have it. Are you taking any progesterone? Sometimes that can irritate the cervix and cause spotting too. Your doctor not being worried is a good sign. Good luck with your testing next week.

Saintly Sue - I'm so sorry about yours and your DH's losses. That's awful. I hope you're coping as well as you can in the circumstances.

BBbliss - a hug for you We all do what we think is best and we have to choose what we need and look after ourselves. I hope you're ok.

Delphine - I definitely know how you feel. when I had #1 I didn't say anything until well after 20 weeks and I was even showing a lot then...so it was weird, but I just didn't want to jinx it. Do you have any frozen embryos left over for possible future siblings? I am so excited for you. I am also still a bit cautious and while almost through first trimester, not saying anything. You must be into the second trimester, then. Hope all is going well so far....feel free to share as we are in this together!

 

[dmama]

Hello Ladies,
I hope you are all doing well. Marathongirl I am so sorry. Since you do have so many eggs you just need to get your body to pick a good one. Does DHEA help with that or soy isoflavones. I remember something about a supplement that could help with that but cannot remember what it was. Congrats Delphine! Dmama glad your pregnancy is progressing well. BBliss I hope you are feeling better. I am sorry about your sperm issues. Do you know what is causing the issues? I have not really felt like being around the board much. DH recently lost his cousin, hit and run while he was riding a bike then his aunt died just a few weeks later. Poor DH has been very hard for him. I was very excited that I did O on cycle day 14 this month. My cycle has been moving all around ovulating anywhere from day 18-21. But as it is for everyone I need a good egg and healthy sperm to find each other. I wish there was a supplement for that.

Very sorry for your losses. That seems a lot to deal with all at once.

 

[Delphine11]

Hi dmama : )

No, I don't have any frozen embryos sadly. The ones that were left weren't good enough to freeze.

Yes, I'm in the second trimester now. I thought I'd worry less, and I suppose I do in a way, but there's always something to worry about! I think it's to do with TTC so long, and my age too. It's hard to relax!

I hope all's going well for you.

 

[dmama]

Hi dmama : )

No, I don't have any frozen embryos sadly. The ones that were left weren't good enough to freeze.

Yes, I'm in the second trimester now. I thought I'd worry less, and I suppose I do in a way, but there's always something to worry about! I think it's to do with TTC so long, and my age too. It's hard to relax!

I hope all's going well for you.

All is well here...I have crossed into the 2nd trimester too. The worry never will end. With my first, I worried till they had the baby out of me and I heard it cry. Even then, the worry doesn't stop...just worry about other things ....Welcome to the club! Ha Ha If you are healthy, then you should have no problems really. I was almost 45 when I had #1. Zero problems. I am hoping the same is true this time around. I have been worried too though, so I know what you mean...still haven't told many folks. But try to enjoy it - it really is amazing

Hello to my other ladies!

 

[BBbliss]

Saintlysue, I'm sorry you and you husband had two loses so close together. My brother is a cyclist and he has lost a couple of friends to accidents like that...
We never did find out what was the cause of his sperm issues, I have my theories but he disagreed, oh well...it's best we move on, ttc was affecting our relationship in ways that I didn't expect and I'm ready for new things

Dmama and Delphine, I'm so excited for both of you, it's ok to worry, just don't worry all the time... Dream a little, you've earned it

 

[Delphine11]

BBBliss, I'm glad you feel strong enough to move on. I hope you're ok. I read what you said about having 'me time' on another thread, and you sounded happy about that. I hope you are. As women, we often neglect ourselves and worry about everyone else so you deserve some special time. I also understand what you're saying about your relationship. TTC is a full time job, in a way. It does affect things.

As you might remember, my partner had sperm issues. They were quite bad ones as far as I understood - low morphology and poor motility. So we paid for PICSI during the IVF, and I really think this did the trick.

I hope that's of help to anyone else reading this.

 

[Jax41]

Hi girls

I've been absent for a while but have loved catching up on your thread, it feels like I should be here if that's still okay?

I've also the same dilemma as you Dmama and Delphine. After our round of test before Christmas my AMH came back at 20.2, clear tubes and womb, antra-follicle scan good - no cysts, so we have the decision OE's with genetic testing or DE. We don't have the £s to keep trying with OE's but I feel I need to give it at least one chance and then move to DE. Ahh it's against all the plans I had - Jax go for the best possible option i.e. DE but my DH has asked that we please try for our own. He has low sperm count which I feel is why I've never managed to fall naturally Maybe, just maybe, all we need it's a little bit of help... One minute I'm definite about which route to take then next arrgh!! We have an appointment to help decide on 17/2...

Bigs hugs everyone

 

[Delphine11]

Good luck, Jax As long as you talk it through and think carefully, whatever decision you make will be the right one.

It was purely money that made me choose DE. My partner has sperm issues so I thought that would reduce our chances anyway, so by using younger eggs then mine, I kind of felt that balanced out the poor sperm. I was also impressed by the DE success rates. Also, I couldn't bear seeing my partner so despondent and losing hope every month. He didn't say much about it, but I know it was really getting to him.

Could you do one OE try and then go on to DE if that's unsuccessful?

 

[dmama]

Delphine! Whoa! You are 23 weeks!? How'd that happen? LOL! I don't know how we missed that you were going through your procedures because you are already halfway through your pregnancy! Great news and great tickers! Are you going to find out the gender?

 

[dmama]

Hi girls

I've been absent for a while but have loved catching up on your thread, it feels like I should be here if that's still okay?

I've also the same dilemma as you Dmama and Delphine. After our round of test before Christmas my AMH came back at 20.2, clear tubes and womb, antra-follicle scan good - no cysts, so we have the decision OE's with genetic testing or DE. We don't have the £s to keep trying with OE's but I feel I need to give it at least one chance and then move to DE. Ahh it's against all the plans I had - Jax go for the best possible option i.e. DE but my DH has asked that we please try for our own. He has low sperm count which I feel is why I've never managed to fall naturally Maybe, just maybe, all we need it's a little bit of help... One minute I'm definite about which route to take then next arrgh!! We have an appointment to help decide on 17/2...

Bigs hugs everyone

Hi Jax - yes...it is a tough one and all about the money. I and my REs felt I had another chance with OE because I gave birth at almost 45. But money and time were just the deciding factors. I hadn't wanted to cut short nursing #1 because I just didn't know if #2 was going to happen, and then I didn't want too much time in between #1 and #2, so with that concern, plus the fact that there just wasn't enough money to try and try - not to mention the mental and physical torture of going through the stim cycles- I just had to make a decision to move on. I do think that with multiple cycles with an RE who was patient and really trying to stim well, I would have found another good egg, but maybe after 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 cycles and I just didn't have it in me.

I can't recall...how old are you? Have you done an IVF cycle already?
If there are sperm issues, ICSI can really help overcome that with either OE or DE cycle.

Everyone has to decide when the time to move on comes for them, if at all. If you really want to try with OE and RE says you have a chance, you should try it so you won't regret not trying, but leave room and money for DE if you seriously think you are open to the idea and would go for it. Some people do tandem cycles where you stim alongside a donor (or have frozen egg in reserve) and then you'd get to have both your and donor's egg fertilized and transfer any of your OE embryos and freeze the donor embryos, or if in the event none of your OE embryos are viable, you still get to transfer. Some think this saves money (if the DE is something you'd really explore anyway) as there is only one transfer whereas if you do OE cycle first and then DE cycle, and you are then paying for two transfers and two monitoring cycles for yourself. This was something I had considered, but ended up not doing. Whatever you decide is right for you.

 

[GinaD]

hi Bravemom! I am turning 45 in the next few months... hard to believe.. lost my son @22 weeks due to I/C - had a TAC done in June 2013 and have been doing IVF since.. Lots of lots of eggs, unfortunately no good embies... PGD turndowns, all of them.. decide to try and DE and today, yes, just today we did a transfer.

We keep you posted and definitely ping me for support!

 

[dmama]

hi Bravemom! I am turning 45 in the next few months... hard to believe.. lost my son @22 weeks due to I/C - had a TAC done in June 2013 and have been doing IVF since.. Lots of lots of eggs, unfortunately no good embies... PGD turndowns, all of them.. decide to try and DE and today, yes, just today we did a transfer.

We keep you posted and definitely ping me for support!

So sorry for the loss of your son. Hope you get good new of your rainbow baby after this tww...

 

[marathongirl]

Delphine congrats!!!! I didn't even know? I guess I'm out of the loop!!! So very pleased for you.
GC's for everyone that are going through procedures. We need more BFP's but better yet rainbow babies on this thread

 

[Jax41]

Good luck, Jax As long as you talk it through and think carefully, whatever decision you make will be the right one.

It was purely money that made me choose DE. My partner has sperm issues so I thought that would reduce our chances anyway, so by using younger eggs then mine, I kind of felt that balanced out the poor sperm. I was also impressed by the DE success rates. Also, I couldn't bear seeing my partner so despondent and losing hope every month. He didn't say much about it, but I know it was really getting to him.

Could you do one OE try and then go on to DE if that's unsuccessful?

Thank you Delphine for your post

Well we had an appointment with the genetics lady regarding the PGD testing, that Gina D referred too, last Tuesday week and she definitely gave me a reality to check. That although levels are amazing for my age, it doesn't mean anything if they're no good when they're tested So yes you're right, we're doing lots of talking, lots of thinking it all through (and have the opportunity to talk to a fertility counselor at the clinic we're using) and gradually after the elation in Dec I'm leaning towards DE, also like you bc of the £s. Can I afford to spend all my money chasing a good egg from me from one cycle only at my age? I think perhaps not...and DH has low sperm count, not drastic but again like you this they have suggested ICSI (is that abbv right??). I think this maybe the reason why we've not managed it naturally - who knows more likely a combination of both of us! Do you mind me asking you if this is your first baby?

Anyway, I'm kinda liking DE, I've read some truly amazing heartfelt stories online from donors and recipients, and afterall, it's like a bulb, dormant until we bring it to life!x

Ps. love seeing your ticker grow

 

[Jax41]

hi Bravemom! I am turning 45 in the next few months... hard to believe.. lost my son @22 weeks due to I/C - had a TAC done in June 2013 and have been doing IVF since.. Lots of lots of eggs, unfortunately no good embies... PGD turndowns, all of them.. decide to try and DE and today, yes, just today we did a transfer.

We keep you posted and definitely ping me for support!

Hi GinaD

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss but very interested to read the news about your PGD testing as that's something I've been considering due to my AMH and follicle level, sounds like we're in the same boat!

Lovely news about your transfer!! Please keep us updated, Marathon girl's right we need a few more BFPs on here!!

 

[Jax41]

Hi girls

I've been absent for a while but have loved catching up on your thread, it feels like I should be here if that's still okay?

I've also the same dilemma as you Dmama and Delphine. After our round of test before Christmas my AMH came back at 20.2, clear tubes and womb, antra-follicle scan good - no cysts, so we have the decision OE's with genetic testing or DE. We don't have the £s to keep trying with OE's but I feel I need to give it at least one chance and then move to DE. Ahh it's against all the plans I had - Jax go for the best possible option i.e. DE but my DH has asked that we please try for our own. He has low sperm count which I feel is why I've never managed to fall naturally Maybe, just maybe, all we need it's a little bit of help... One minute I'm definite about which route to take then next arrgh!! We have an appointment to help decide on 17/2...

Bigs hugs everyone

Hi Jax - yes...it is a tough one and all about the money. I and my REs felt I had another chance with OE because I gave birth at almost 45. But money and time were just the deciding factors. I hadn't wanted to cut short nursing #1 because I just didn't know if #2 was going to happen, and then I didn't want too much time in between #1 and #2, so with that concern, plus the fact that there just wasn't enough money to try and try - not to mention the mental and physical torture of going through the stim cycles- I just had to make a decision to move on. I do think that with multiple cycles with an RE who was patient and really trying to stim well, I would have found another good egg, but maybe after 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 cycles and I just didn't have it in me.

I can't recall...how old are you? Have you done an IVF cycle already?
If there are sperm issues, ICSI can really help overcome that with either OE or DE cycle.

Everyone has to decide when the time to move on comes for them, if at all. If you really want to try with OE and RE says you have a chance, you should try it so you won't regret not trying, but leave room and money for DE if you seriously think you are open to the idea and would go for it. Some people do tandem cycles where you stim alongside a donor (or have frozen egg in reserve) and then you'd get to have both your and donor's egg fertilized and transfer any of your OE embryos and freeze the donor embryos, or if in the event none of your OE embryos are viable, you still get to transfer. Some think this saves money (if the DE is something you'd really explore anyway) as there is only one transfer whereas if you do OE cycle first and then DE cycle, and you are then paying for two transfers and two monitoring cycles for yourself. This was something I had considered, but ended up not doing. Whatever you decide is right for you.

Hi Dmama, I'm 45, 46 in October so time is chugging along, in fact it's not chugging it's GALLOPING!!!! The genetics lady we went and saw the week before last has given us a deadline of April (it was quite nice to have a decision taken out of my hands - I know that sounds daft!) as the testing we had done in Nov will expire and we'll have to start again - can't afford to do that! So whichever I choose, I'll be doing something then

But like you and Delphine it's all about time and the £'s (sadly - if only we had all the money in the world...). I've never done an IVF, stims the whole kaboosh so is it a good thing I don't know what I'm letting myself in for....glop and I would only get one chance to do OE, so as prev mentioned I'm really coming round to DE - that and reading and listening to you amazing ladies is really helping me get to the right decision - can't thank you enough! x

 

[LLbean]

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