Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Angel5000]

Congrats Holly!!!

 

[Hollynesss]

Thank you so much ladies!!! I wanted so badly to get pregnant before my next birthday (December), so I'm so happy!

 

[KatO79]

Congrats Holly

Well, AF got me with a sneak attack this morning! No cramps, no sore BBs, none of my usual PMS -- and late by two days now. I was starting to get excited!

Looks like it's onward with the RE for us. I might go back to taking Vitex, since the only other time I took it, I ended up with a BFP. But I'm thinking I need to wait and see what the RE says. We're supposed to get our initial paperwork by mail in a few days.

KatO79 - Good luck house hunting! I always find it to be a strange mix of excitement and stress. Hopefully it doesn't do anything to mess up your cycle!

Sorry AF came ireadyermind I hate those fake out cycles, have had a couple of them myself over the last 2 years I think you should wait for the RE and see what he/she says. There are some things they don't want you on when you start IUI/IVF so it might be good to ask.

Thanks Although there isn't much cycle to mess up as I'm currently downregulating and I'll be hopefully stimming on Monday after my 2nd appointment. So my own hormones won't be getting produced because of the downregulation since it shuts down for that. DH might not be able to go with me though, he'll find out today.

AFM still feeling nausea, headaches and occasional hot flashes It's been fairly bad the last 3-4 days and I'm hoping that once we start stimming, these side effects go away Once I start stimming I'll be taking a lower dose of Suprefact (from 0.5 ml to 0.2 ml) so that should help also.

On a more personal note I think I'm soon cured of "stalking" my narcissistic brother's and sister's FB profiles. My narcissistic sister only puts pics up of her kids or telling how wonderful it is to be a mother (don't know if it's a dig at me since she knows I'm going through infertility). My narcissitic brother was going on about his "amazing" SIL recently and how he hopes people will donate since she's trying to raise money for a charity. He always writes how "amazing" she is on FB. So tired of seeing how everyone else he knows is so great and he never mentions me on FB, only likes my stuff every 4 months or so and just despises me and what little contact we've had it's been him being condescending and telling me what an utterly awful human being I am (also while I'm going through infertility), especially when I protest against his abusive behavior I just don't need this

 

[cutestuff]

Congrats Holly....

Sorry Ireadyermind.....that sucks when your cycle plays with your head and your body....

Kat-good luck with everything..here's hoping your first IVF cycle is a BFP just in time to get settled in a new house.....

AFM: Technically 7 weeks away from D-day, but no matter what, I will be having this baby in the next 8 weeks or so....insanely crazy to think about that......so far so good, its been pretty easy, but not really looking forward to the pushing it out part........ Its been a hectic few weeks...had to find a new place to live as I rent and am not in a situation to buy and lucky me, I also get to try and buy another car which is not easy with the budget is.... I hope to see more winter BFPs on this thread and to see some updates from those who had BFPS to see how their LOs are doing...

 

[Angel5000]

Good morning ladies. I have the day off today because I am going in to see the doctor regarding my vitamin D levels, and to talk about some mild anti-depressants (that are safe for TTC). I don't think I've mentioned in this thread what is going on personally with me (and if I have pls feel free to skip) but a few weeks ago I had a rather traumatic experience. (not really a "spoiler" below, but I don't want people to have to read it who don't want to(

Spoiler

The short version is that my father, who has always had a temper and been on the angry/violent side, had a stroke a few years. Since then he's been progressively more and more depressed and more and more angry. A few weeks ago he started to get volatile toward my mother and I stepped in the middle (he's abused her physically and emotionally all their lives, and I couldn't stand by and watch anymore). In the process of the argument he pulled a knife on me, threatened me. Then went for his (loaded) guns. threatening ot hurt us, and himself if we called the cops. I chose to call the cops anyway. We are in the middle of preceedings now. There's a no contact order until the court stuff is done, and his lawyer just filed a motion to delay the hearing until December (instead of earlier this week).

My mom, my husband, my sister are all very supportive. They support what I did. My aunts (dads sisters) and my dads mother however are not. They support me only so far as I "may have saved his life", but as far as we are concerned they think we need to do anything possible to give him what he wants/needs. They are pandering to him and harassing my mom for money and my sister and I about the situation.

It's an incredibly emotional, frustrating situation. Everytime I think I am doing okay, something sends me spiraling. I work with teenagers who like ot push buttons and can be a pain even on a good day, and I've lost my temper in class a couple times in the last couple weeks to hte point where my boss has suggested I need some help (the admin know what's going on with me because I Felt it was prudent to tell them, they support me but also have to tread a line between supporting me and dealing with overprotective and overreacting parents while being unable to tell them what I'm going through.

I'm seeing a therapist for the first time today. And then in the afternoon I have my dr appointment to try to get something to help me. I'm hoping something to help will also give me the energy to start keeping up with cleaning my house again and be a little more interested in sex. I've been sadly lacking in the "desire" factor lately.

The one thing about TTC that annoys me is that I had to stop using my St Johns Wart because it's not "safe" for TTC or pregnancy, and it really did wonders for my SADD. Ugh. It's been 8 months without it and I was good over hte summer because there's a LOT of sun, but the last few weeks have been harsh!


Kat I have found in the last few days that there are some people on facebook that I really need to stay away from. I've been contemplating deleting and/or blocking several members of my family, simply because their posts and comments do nothing but bring me down and effect me negatively. Perhaps you should consider the same? I am considering blocking specifically because I originally set them not to show on my feed, and that worked but I have a mildly addictive personality and so I got curious and started going to their pages and reading, and if I unfriend them that will stop me from seeing some of their friends only posts but won't completely stop me from looking. If I block them completely I won't even be able to search for that person, it will be like they don't exist, and that's what I think I might have to do for my own mental sanity.

 

[ireadyermind]

Kat - Yep, just Unfollow those family members. You won't see their posts any more, but it doesn't Unfriend them and they can still message you if they need to. They won't know you've unfollowed them and that means they won't try to get on your case about it, either.

Remember, if they're narcissists, they aren't thinking about you at all. They think of themselves. So while some of the stuff they do and post about may seem offensive to you, they aren't going out of their way to make YOU miserable, they're only doing what they think will give THEMSELVES the most attention.

It's entirely possible they don't interact with you on FB because you don't play their game, and feed into their self images.

So do the smart thing -- unfollow them, and stop letting them screw with your emotions.

 

[psychochick]

Oh my, so much ups and downs. First off

Congrats Holly! What a great line. H&H 9 mo.

Ireadyourmind: Sorry about the tricky AF I was pretty convinced that this was gonna be it for you. But hopefully RE will give you just what you need to get that BFP

KatO: house hunting is very exciting. DH and I bought a house last year and I was very glad that it was close to one branch of the hospital that I go to. Location, location, location right? Also, I generally avoid facebook. I post to it mostly because DH's parents read facebook (but don't post) and that's how we share our photos with them. But my real friends keep in touch off of facebook and so my feed's always full of acquaintances trying to show off their lives. It's generally known that facebook makes everyone unhappy because people only post the best bits of their lives on facebook so it's basically a huge lie.

Angel: OMG I can't believe your own father did that. Good for you for standing up to him. And good for you for seeking help. Toxic family is one of the toughest problems to deal with. I really hope your father could find some help too, seems like his temper went out of control. I mean my mom always had a short temper; she was definitely very intimidating when I was growing up. But she's always had a line she never crossed. She never got personal, never got physical, and actually over the years she mellowed down and became more reasonable. She's still extremely stubborn and a force of nature; what she says will still go down but her approach has changed for the better. In fact, my mom's always said that she believes people are very capable of change because of what she experienced so I'm hoping the same for your father.

Hope your therapist helps, and we're always here to talk

 

[ireadyermind]

Ireadyourmind: Sorry about the tricky AF I was pretty convinced that this was gonna be it for you. But hopefully RE will give you just what you need to get that BFP

Thanks. I was pretty convinced myself! I've never had a cycle like that, with the nausea and everything, AND being two days late? EXCEPT for the cycle I got my BFP! I suppose it's entirely possible that I was pregnant for a day or two but never built up enough hcg for a test to pick up. Who knows? I hope that sort of nausea doesn't become a regular PMS symptom for me.

But I'm feeling optimistic about TTC this month. I told DH that this is our last natural cycle for a while, so we'd better give it all we've got! Minimum BD of 2x a week every week until AF shows, instead of only focusing on my fertile window.

It's entirely possible that I'm not Oing when the OPKs indicate, or that FF is slightly off when it predicts O, too. I don't get EWCM except for once in a blue moon, so I need to make sure my bases are covered.

And of course, DH says he doesn't mind all the extra BDing.

 

[Angel5000]

Thanks psychochick. We are hoping he gets some help, but we will see how things go. Today's therapy was mostly "intake" so lots of questions. I'll be back in a couple weeks to start the actual "Therapy" part. Going to see my doctor in an hour.

ireadyermindGood luck!! Hope the extra BDing works for you!! I always say I'm going to do that but life gets in the way and I get too exhausted. Blah. Lots of people swear by the SMEP or by DTD outside the fertile window, so hopefully that works for you! If you aren't getting EWcm are you using something else to help? Like EPO or preseed? Or does it really make a big difference?

 

[jtr2803]

Congratulating Holly! It's lovely to see that truly once can be enough

Wow, angel, what a horrid thing to have to go through, especially when its family. As a young child I jumped up to protect my mum when my stepdad went to hit her and is something I've never forgotten. You absolutely have done the right thing because if there's a next time it could end up very badly. Good luck with the therapy, I really hope it helps.

Ireadyermind, that sounds like a good plan! We always focus bding around I day and I wonder if we should try and space it out more? Lots of baby dust for this cycle

I feel like I'm harboring a bit of a cold and site throat which is not what I need right now. I might have to go into the office on Sunday as I've been training up staff which gives me no time to do my own work hubby and I are doing an archery day together tomorrow which in looking forward to. Tonight is naughty dinner and pj's on sofa night

 

[Angel5000]

So, doctor gave me a script for zoloft but was really hesitant when she found out we were TTC. She said that as soon as I get a +HPT I need to go down to half doses and she may recommend I quit taking it because it's a class C med (which according to doctor means problems have been found in animals when pregnant, but not necessarily any birth defects found in humans, but the data is conflicting). She almost said she didn't want to give me anything but conceded that while I don't want to risk harming my baby (if/when I get pregnant) I am at a point where I need something to help while I work through things with therapy.

My sister's OBGYN has said that zoloft was perfectly safe during 1st trimester especially on a very low dose (and I'm on the lowest they make I think). so when it comes to that time if I feel like I still need it I will talk to an actual OBGYN and get a second opinion.


Thanks jtr. Support is nice!

 

[KatO79]

Good morning ladies. I have the day off today because I am going in to see the doctor regarding my vitamin D levels, and to talk about some mild anti-depressants (that are safe for TTC). I don't think I've mentioned in this thread what is going on personally with me (and if I have pls feel free to skip) but a few weeks ago I had a rather traumatic experience. (not really a "spoiler" below, but I don't want people to have to read it who don't want to(

Spoiler

The short version is that my father, who has always had a temper and been on the angry/violent side, had a stroke a few years. Since then he's been progressively more and more depressed and more and more angry. A few weeks ago he started to get volatile toward my mother and I stepped in the middle (he's abused her physically and emotionally all their lives, and I couldn't stand by and watch anymore). In the process of the argument he pulled a knife on me, threatened me. Then went for his (loaded) guns. threatening ot hurt us, and himself if we called the cops. I chose to call the cops anyway. We are in the middle of preceedings now. There's a no contact order until the court stuff is done, and his lawyer just filed a motion to delay the hearing until December (instead of earlier this week).

My mom, my husband, my sister are all very supportive. They support what I did. My aunts (dads sisters) and my dads mother however are not. They support me only so far as I "may have saved his life", but as far as we are concerned they think we need to do anything possible to give him what he wants/needs. They are pandering to him and harassing my mom for money and my sister and I about the situation.

It's an incredibly emotional, frustrating situation. Everytime I think I am doing okay, something sends me spiraling. I work with teenagers who like ot push buttons and can be a pain even on a good day, and I've lost my temper in class a couple times in the last couple weeks to hte point where my boss has suggested I need some help (the admin know what's going on with me because I Felt it was prudent to tell them, they support me but also have to tread a line between supporting me and dealing with overprotective and overreacting parents while being unable to tell them what I'm going through.

I'm seeing a therapist for the first time today. And then in the afternoon I have my dr appointment to try to get something to help me. I'm hoping something to help will also give me the energy to start keeping up with cleaning my house again and be a little more interested in sex. I've been sadly lacking in the "desire" factor lately.

The one thing about TTC that annoys me is that I had to stop using my St Johns Wart because it's not "safe" for TTC or pregnancy, and it really did wonders for my SADD. Ugh. It's been 8 months without it and I was good over hte summer because there's a LOT of sun, but the last few weeks have been harsh!


Kat I have found in the last few days that there are some people on facebook that I really need to stay away from. I've been contemplating deleting and/or blocking several members of my family, simply because their posts and comments do nothing but bring me down and effect me negatively. Perhaps you should consider the same? I am considering blocking specifically because I originally set them not to show on my feed, and that worked but I have a mildly addictive personality and so I got curious and started going to their pages and reading, and if I unfriend them that will stop me from seeing some of their friends only posts but won't completely stop me from looking. If I block them completely I won't even be able to search for that person, it will be like they don't exist, and that's what I think I might have to do for my own mental sanity.

Wow so sorry you're going through that Unfortunately I come from a dysfunctional family and it sounds like your Dad's family is dysfunctional and that he's continuing that dysfunction in your family. They don't like anything that doesn't make the family look like a sane, normal family which is why his relatives now are trying to make you feel wrong about what you did. Don't give in! You did the right thing and don't let them convince you otherwise. If you haven't done so already, I'd go low or no contact on his relatives. Same goes for your father, especially if he's abusive towards you. Unfortunately toxic people don't do anything but try to make you sad and ruin your self-esteem. I should know having come from a family filled with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) cases (my mother, her mother, her sister, my 2 older brothers and my sister) I hope you find therapy helpful and that your therapist is udnerstanding of your situation.

I have also thought about unfriending and blocking them but fear that it will lead to non stop drama for months with them yet again telling me my feelings are wrong, that I'm the sick one and have all the blame for our horrible relationship. Gaslighting me with that they do love me even though they never talk to me and on the rare occasions they do, it's passive-aggressive behavior and/or condescending put-downs. I also fear that in that situation my cousin (she's the scapegoat of her own siblings but has a great relationship with mine because she caters to their wims and can better afford to fly to the US and visit them every 2 years or so) will start trying to become the peacemaker and be their "flying monkey". I just don't think I can handle all that drama right now while I'm going through IVF. Which is why I planned on doing it later on, preferably shortly after I hopefully will give birth to a baby. I think in some ways I can better handle that drama at that point because it won't be affecting my chances of conceiving.

Kat - Yep, just Unfollow those family members. You won't see their posts any more, but it doesn't Unfriend them and they can still message you if they need to. They won't know you've unfollowed them and that means they won't try to get on your case about it, either.

Remember, if they're narcissists, they aren't thinking about you at all. They think of themselves. So while some of the stuff they do and post about may seem offensive to you, they aren't going out of their way to make YOU miserable, they're only doing what they think will give THEMSELVES the most attention.

It's entirely possible they don't interact with you on FB because you don't play their game, and feed into their self images.

So do the smart thing -- unfollow them, and stop letting them screw with your emotions.

I have unfollowed months ago, the problem is morbid curiosity kicks in a couple of times a week and I will sometimes check their profiles. Not only have I unfollowed but I've put all family members (including the nice ones because they associate with and have good relationships with the narcs) on my restricted list so I can post certain stuff occasionally and block them from seeing anything I think may lead to them being passive-aggressive and telling me how wrong I am, how wrong my feelings are.

So true, I don't, I never have really but especially now since I became aware of what they are. I'm thinking I may be in the devalue and discard phase with them because of that.

I'm trying to kick the habit of checking their profiles cold turkey at the moment because I know it's bad for me

Oh my, so much ups and downs. First off

Congrats Holly! What a great line. H&H 9 mo.

Ireadyourmind: Sorry about the tricky AF I was pretty convinced that this was gonna be it for you. But hopefully RE will give you just what you need to get that BFP

KatO: house hunting is very exciting. DH and I bought a house last year and I was very glad that it was close to one branch of the hospital that I go to. Location, location, location right? Also, I generally avoid facebook. I post to it mostly because DH's parents read facebook (but don't post) and that's how we share our photos with them. But my real friends keep in touch off of facebook and so my feed's always full of acquaintances trying to show off their lives. It's generally known that facebook makes everyone unhappy because people only post the best bits of their lives on facebook so it's basically a huge lie.

Angel: OMG I can't believe your own father did that. Good for you for standing up to him. And good for you for seeking help. Toxic family is one of the toughest problems to deal with. I really hope your father could find some help too, seems like his temper went out of control. I mean my mom always had a short temper; she was definitely very intimidating when I was growing up. But she's always had a line she never crossed. She never got personal, never got physical, and actually over the years she mellowed down and became more reasonable. She's still extremely stubborn and a force of nature; what she says will still go down but her approach has changed for the better. In fact, my mom's always said that she believes people are very capable of change because of what she experienced so I'm hoping the same for your father.

Hope your therapist helps, and we're always here to talk

Yep we're super excited to finally be house hunting We were going to start looking earlier this year but then there were cutbacks back in February I think at DH's company and he got fired. So now that he's been hired for over the 3 montn trial period, he finally feels secure in starting to look for a house

Yeah I know FB is total BS and am not even entirely sure why I even got a profile in the first place. Although I do enjoy some of the pages were I can look at cute kitty pics since cute cats always put a smile on my face and the sites I follow about Narcissistic Personality Disorder as I feel like I get validation from reading those posts. Also follow infertility pages as well that I also enjoy reading. But yeah I also have a few friends that aren't on FB and most of the friends I do have on FB aren't real friends, mostly acquaintances e.g. people I went to High School with that I don't have any real contact with since then.

It's a nice thought that people can change but unfortunately there are those that are incapable and unwilling to do so! All my NPD relatives fit into that category (my mother, my 2 brothers and my sister). So depending on what Angel's father's disorder is, he may not be willing or capable of change. People from toxic families sometimes end up with severe personality disorders or mental illnesses and not all of them can be helped. Take NPD as an example, people that have it see no reason to change and feel it's everyone else that needs to do so. NPD is actually considered as close to impossible to treat because of this. Which is why the best thing is for the more sane and normal relatives to either go low or no contact. Sad but true. I've done extensive internet "research" into it the past 2 years so know as much as any layman can I think. Not saying Angel's dad has NPD, it's just an example of how not everyone is capable of change.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat Yeah, his family is pretty dysfunctional. I've already got a no contact order on my dad, the state imposed it when he was arrested and it's in place at least until the court proceedings are done, the DA wants to keep it in place for a long time after that (until the PO determines that rehabilitation has actually occurred). The DA has said that we can't really get a no contact order against the rest of the family until it becomes directly harassment and it isn't quite there yet. Not for me anyway (they are more harassing my sister, and since she wasn't there that night it's hard for her to get the order).

The therapist was very understanding. She worries there could be the possible PTSD but it cannot be diagnosed until 3 months past the trauma so she's going to treat for depression and anxiety and hope that in a couple months we can develop some coping mechanisms that will help and prevent this from turning into a PTSD moment.

Sounds like your situation with your family is just as difficult. I do the same thing as you though, unfollow and then morbid curiosity leads me to go check their page. I have been trying to stop checking family pages too. Maybe we need a "FB Stalkers Anonymous" Group. "Hi, my name is Angel and I'm addicted to checking family fb pages even when I know it's bad for me."

 

[ireadyermind]

Man, Angel -- When I was a kid, something similar happened with my dad, including the loaded gun bit. It wasn't a stroke for my dad, though. It was drugs. Though when I think about it, they aren't all that much different. Both a stroke and drugs do bad things to someone's brain.

But having to deal with something like that at ANY age.... That's so rough. Speaking to a therapist will help you! And probably in more ways than one. I know when my mom, sister and I went to a therapist together to cope with what was happening with our dad, we found some other issues between us while we were there and worked on those too.

Try to keep your chin up. I'm sure things will work out!

 

[Angel5000]

I hit the gym today and I'm feeling GOOD. I almost didn't go because it's raining so hard I just wanted to curl up with a book and veg. But DH reminded me we are paying too much for me to have a gym membership not to use it. And, seriously, I went "hard core" (for me anyway). Biked for 15 min warmup, then leg workout and THEN did my C25K run on the treadmill (only Day1, taking it easy because of asthma). I feel awesome right now. I love endorphins! :hahah: Now we are about to head out in the pouring rain to go to the grocery store. Not thrilled about that.

ireadyermind - thanks. It is really helpful to know that I am not alone. It's hard to tell people because, honestly, most of the people I know had such "normal" childhoods that they look at me like I'm absolutely insane. Most of my friends just cannot comprehend what this is like.

This wasn't just the stroke, he'd had a lot to drink that night and since the stroke he doesn't hold his alcohol like he used to. When we were little and he would drink he turned into a big over the top loving person (it was kind of sickening as a kid because it seemed like the only time he told us he loved us was after he'd been drinking). Since the stroke the alcohol does not have the safe effect. 8 years ago (almost to the day actually) something similar happened with my sister but no weapon was involved, he just beat her up real bad. That was pre-stroke. We forgave him for the last time, I don't know if we will this time. It really comes down to what kind of help he gets.

 

[ireadyermind]

ireadyermind - thanks. It is really helpful to know that I am not alone. It's hard to tell people because, honestly, most of the people I know had such "normal" childhoods that they look at me like I'm absolutely insane. Most of my friends just cannot comprehend what this is like.

This wasn't just the stroke, he'd had a lot to drink that night and since the stroke he doesn't hold his alcohol like he used to. When we were little and he would drink he turned into a big over the top loving person (it was kind of sickening as a kid because it seemed like the only time he told us he loved us was after he'd been drinking). Since the stroke the alcohol does not have the safe effect. 8 years ago (almost to the day actually) something similar happened with my sister but no weapon was involved, he just beat her up real bad. That was pre-stroke. We forgave him for the last time, I don't know if we will this time. It really comes down to what kind of help he gets.

When my dad would go into rages like that, he'd destroy things. Throw furniture off the second story balcony, stuff like that. I don't know if he ever hurt my mother, but we got the hell outta that house when I was about 9 and so he never had another opportunity.

I can understand not telling people. For one thing, it's almost like they think that because your dad was that way, it reflects poorly on YOU. Like you get to choose who your parents are..!

My dad's parents were always convinced that it was US that was the problem, not Dad. They still back him to this day, despite everything that's happened since then. They used to harass my mother, blame everything on her -- it's not a good place to be, emotionally.

The stress of going to court all the time, speaking with lawyers, being accused of exaggerating or making up the scenario -- it can really get to you!

So if you ever need to talk, you're welcome to PM me.

 

[Angel5000]

So, weird thing just happened. Checked cervix and CM, and cervix is high, but firm. CM this morning was creamyish color but starting to get EW consistency, and just now it was more like EW but had bright red blood streak through it. Yesterday when I checked my CM I wiped my fingers on TP and there was a faint pink color but I didn't think much about it, but now I'm wondering what it is. I haven't O'd yet, so it shouldn't be AF coming. I've never had Ovulation bleeding before, could I have O bleeding randomly if I've never had it before?

ireadyermind Thanks. I appreciate it. And I may take you up on that.

 

[MKaykes]

So, weird thing just happened. Checked cervix and CM, and cervix is high, but firm. CM this morning was creamyish color but starting to get EW consistency, and just now it was more like EW but had bright red blood streak through it. Yesterday when I checked my CM I wiped my fingers on TP and there was a faint pink color but I didn't think much about it, but now I'm wondering what it is. I haven't O'd yet, so it shouldn't be AF coming. I've never had Ovulation bleeding before, could I have O bleeding randomly if I've never had it before?

I think it is definitely possible to have some spotting with O even if you never have before. No pos opk though?

 

[Angel5000]

Not at this point. I'm going to test this afternoon. I went to the gym this morning so I've been drinking a ton of water all morning which means I haven't had a chance to get more than maybe a two hour hold (and in my experience I need at least a 3 hour hold before I can get a good +OPK).

 

[KatO79]

Kat Yeah, his family is pretty dysfunctional. I've already got a no contact order on my dad, the state imposed it when he was arrested and it's in place at least until the court proceedings are done, the DA wants to keep it in place for a long time after that (until the PO determines that rehabilitation has actually occurred). The DA has said that we can't really get a no contact order against the rest of the family until it becomes directly harassment and it isn't quite there yet. Not for me anyway (they are more harassing my sister, and since she wasn't there that night it's hard for her to get the order).

The therapist was very understanding. She worries there could be the possible PTSD but it cannot be diagnosed until 3 months past the trauma so she's going to treat for depression and anxiety and hope that in a couple months we can develop some coping mechanisms that will help and prevent this from turning into a PTSD moment.

Sounds like your situation with your family is just as difficult. I do the same thing as you though, unfollow and then morbid curiosity leads me to go check their page. I have been trying to stop checking family pages too. Maybe we need a "FB Stalkers Anonymous" Group. "Hi, my name is Angel and I'm addicted to checking family fb pages even when I know it's bad for me."

Sounds like the best thing to do. You may never be able to get a no contact order on his family but you can still go no contact. Don't respond to them and anything you get from them you either throw out or delete.

I hope you manage to avoid PTSD

Yeah we should totally do that "Hi my name is Kat and I'm addicted to stalking my toxic siblings' FB pages even though I know it's bad for my mental health"

I can understand not telling people. For one thing, it's almost like they think that because your dad was that way, it reflects poorly on YOU. Like you get to choose who your parents are..!

My dad's parents were always convinced that it was US that was the problem, not Dad. They still back him to this day, despite everything that's happened since then. They used to harass my mother, blame everything on her -- it's not a good place to be, emotionally.

The stress of going to court all the time, speaking with lawyers, being accused of exaggerating or making up the scenario -- it can really get to you!

I think another thing that prevents us from telling people about our dysfunctional family members is that they also will think you're exaggerating things. Plus they will insist that your parent/sibling loves you because they don't know any differently. I've even seen a woman that put up pics of all the physical scars her mother gave her plus mentioned the extensive emotional abuse. There were some that felt she was a liar because they can't accept that a parent could be abusive to their own child In my case I also have fears people will say that if I'm the only sibling having problems with them then it must be me that's the problem.

Yep that seems to be the norm in dysfunctional, toxic families. They always defend their own and blame you for all issues.

AFM still feeling sickly, I really hope I can start stimming tomorrow. Was as at my childish friend's birthday last night and it went fine although I completely understand my childish friend has issues with her sister. Her sister didn't even bother saying hello when she arrived and when she finally did she asked us if we are her sister's boyfriend's parents So she was both insulting us (saying we looked that old) plus commenting on how she thinks her sister's boyfriend is so young (he's 21). This was her first time both meeting us and her sister's boyfriend! We laughed it off and she asked if she was the only one that had thought we are his parents. Just wow